


Reluctant Heroes

by rarepairqueen



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Background Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 121,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2137002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarepairqueen/pseuds/rarepairqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'They came in like a nightmare that could make you scream. 'Cause nobody wants to die too fast'</p><p>When a peaceful summer vacation is interrupted by mass violence and unexplainable death, survival is the only thing on everyone's mind. Travelling across the country, fending for their lives in the darkness and even nearly getting killed by rogue weather are just a few of the things that they must face. One group of highschool students will be pushed to their limits as the harsh reality forces them to grow up with danger around every corner and the rising tension between the best of friends.</p><p>Will they be able to keep each other alive long enough for a cure to be found or will they fall victim to themselves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching a let's play of The Last of Us and had also been playing a lot of Left for Dead 2 with my friends when this idea came to mind. I've been sat reading and editing this for a while before finally deciding to publish it, I hope it was worth the wait :3 There are a few chapters pre-written but after I've run through those I'll be updating as quickly as I can write so please bear with me if there are slow periods!
> 
>  
> 
> Title inspired by the song Reluctant Heroes from the Attack on Titan soundtrack. (There are so many covers on youtube but this is the one that actually struck a chord with me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhALb4qtsvU)

** One **

** Gerard **

 

_'It was like a nightmare that could make you scream, 'cause nobody wants to die too fast'_

 

It was just another day in the long summer vacation, I sat playing video games with my kid brother and our two highschool friends, our parents were out of town for two weeks. Things were pretty sweet.

“Another round of left for dead after this or something else?” Frank, the youngest of our company, asked as he took a gulp of redbull. “Cause I’m kicking this jockey’s ass right now.”

“Yeah right, is that why I’ve had to revive you three times?” Mikey replied, mashing buttons as he fired on a horde whilst running towards the safehouse.

“Psh, but I have like the best shot.”

“You pissed off every witch we came across claiming that you were ‘just a few inches to the left’ or some other crap.” Ray exclaimed, slamming the safehouse door and ending the level.

“And let’s not forget the tank incident.” Mikey added with a smirk.

“Guys look at that score though!” Frank said, pointing to the numbers on the screen.

I rolled my eyes and put my controller down, it had been two solid days of killing zombies and bickering about highscores. Sure it was fun at first but it got old quickly, Ray raised an eyebrow and put his controller next to mine on the coffee table littered with empty cans.

“Sup Gee?” Mikey asked, Frank tore his gaze away from the tv screen to look at me too.

“Yeah, sup Gerard?” he repeated as if I didn’t hear my brother.

“I’m bored of killing zombies.” I sighed.

“What else can we play?” Frank asked as he stood up, his shirt riding up as he stretched his arms and ran a hand through his spiked up black hair.

“I’m just bored of video games in general.” I murmured, casting my eyes to Mikey. “We got any good movies upstairs?”

He shrugged and got off the couch. “I’ll go check, you want horror I guess?”

I smiled, he knew me alright. “Of course.”

“Anything but dolls.” Ray stated. “No dolls.”

“Damn that rules out Chucky.” Frank laughed, following Mikey upstairs to our room.

After a few heated discussions between the two younger males, which both Ray and I heard as we cleared up a little bit in the lounge, we settled down to laugh at the abomination that was the paranormal activity series. Heck it killed a lot of time and provided us with some jumpscares when we weren’t pissing ourselves laughing at the low standard movie. We were pretty into our horror films, we each had our favourites and then we all had the ones that were so terrible that we laughed most of the way through.

We didn’t even get halfway through the second one before we couldn’t take it. I mean sure they were good for cheap scares but we wanted something with a bit more gore to it.

“What about…dawn of the dead?” Ray asked.

“Sure, I’ll get some more popcorn.” I said, Frank decided to join me in the kitchen as I started making another large bowl of popcorn. We hadn’t been eating much in the way of healthy food although I’m pretty sure Ray would give a long explanation as to how ‘ _popcorn is from corn which is a grain and that’s something to body needs Gerard_ ’. I chuckled thinking about that and completely forgetting Frank was with me.

“Gerard?” he asked, closing the fridge with a four pack of redbull in hand. “Something funny?”

“Nah, nothing.” I replied. He set the drinks on the counter and just looked at me with a disbelieving expression. The popcorn crackling as we fell silent.

I hadn’t known Frank for very long, he was a sophomore like Mikey and normally wouldn’t associate with seniors like Ray and I, he was previously unknown to us before Mikey just brought him home one day in the early spring and since then he just kinda stuck with us; becoming Mikey’s best friend and almost like a second brother to me. That being said, there were the odd moments like this when we wouldn’t know what to say to each other.

“Your parents out of town too then?” I asked, hoping the popcorn would be done soon.

“Yeah, they went to South Carolina to visit my cousins.” He replied. “Won’t be back ‘til the week before school starts again.”

“You’re gonna be on your own for that long?”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it. I mean sure it gets lonely, which is part of the reason I crash here so much.”

I nodded, he spent quite a few weekends at our house. It didn’t bother us, our father was happy Mikey had made a friend so he would probably let Frank get away with murder if it came to that. Our mother embraced Frank too, I figured she had spoken to his mom about it many times and that it was all sorted. To be honest I actually enjoyed Frank’s presence, he always had something to say about everything which proved useful when Mikey felt like avoiding all forms of socialising.

“Fair enough, stay as long as you like dude. You know you’re always welcome here.” I smiled, tipping the piping hot corn into the sharing bowl.

“I know.” He murmured. “And thanks…I mean you, Mikey and Ray are like brothers to me. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”

“Shut up Frank, you make it sound like one of us is gonna die.” I joked, playfully slapping the back of his head before picking up the bowl.

He laughed and followed me back into the lounge, settling himself between Mikey and I on the couch as Ray put the dvd on and drew the blinds on the setting sun.

**~*~**

“Gerard.” A faint voice echoed in my slumber. “Gerard.” It repeated, whoever it was sounded pained.

“Gee wake up for fuck sake.” Mikey’s hushed whisper broke my sleep.

“What?” I uttered, blinking in the darkness, Mikey’s face came into view as the tv screen illuminated him in the darkness. The title screen for the movie was still showing but it was muted, we had obviously fallen asleep during the film and only just woken up.

“What’s going on out there?” Ray asked from my other side, I was confused for a few seconds until I heard it; the faint screams from outside. I looked to each of them, they looked spooked to say the least.

“…how long have you been hearing it?” I whispered, sitting up and tucking my hair behind my ears as I watched Frank’s terrified face, expecting him to answer.

“About half an hour…” Ray replied. “I woke up and thought it was just the dvd but when I muted it…”

A louder scream pierced the darkness, Mikey flinched and grabbed my arm instinctively from across Frank. Thoughts raced through my mind, surely it was just some gang violence that was common in our neighbourhood.

“Turn the tv off.” I demanded, Frank scrambled for the remote and plunged us into darkness. We sat there on the couch in silence, listening with baited breath.

“What do we do?” Ray whispered after a while.

I swallowed, someone had to check outside. “…I’ll…I’ll look out the window.”

“Gee no.” Mikey immediately said.

“Mikey, someone has to see what’s going on.” I hissed. “Just…hold on to Frank or something.”

My legs shook as I stood up, something about this was absolutely terrifying. I reached the large bay window that overlooked the street, I glanced back at the couch fully aware that they were all staring at me as I peeled back the blinds ever so slightly.

What I saw chilled me to the bone.

Blood and bodies littered the street, or at least what I could see. It looked like a tornado had struck our street. I saw the body of the girl who lived next door, she was in my biology class and…well…I knew enough about the human body to know that she had been disembowelled violently and then strewn across the fence separating our lawns. Whatever happened…it wasn’t natural.

I pulled back and shakily made my way to the couch, collapsing and sighing heavily.

“…what’s happened?” Ray asked.

“…I don’t know…but Lisa is dead.” I told him. “…and whatever happened…it was much more than the gang violence we’re used to.”

“What else?” Frank pressed, he sounded borderline hysterical but was doing his best to hide it.

“There’s just blood and bodies everywhere. I don’t know what’s happened but there’s way too much blood for it to just be a gun fight.”

“…how?”

“People have been ripped apart, I don’t want to think about how we slept through all of it.”

There were no more questions, I stared at the ceiling unable to erase the image of our dead neighbour from my mind.

“Shouldn’t we call the cops?” Ray asked. “…surely they should be told.”

Mikey’s phone lit up as he picked it up. “No signal.” He uttered, looking at Frank in horror as he passed the phone along.

“…fucking kidding me.” Frank cursed as he tried to dial 911 and failed to even get the phone to start calling.

I reached for my phone, Ray likewise. None of our phones had service but at least they gave us some light and told us the time.

“Four am.” I stated. “An hour before sunrise.”

“Sleep isn’t going to come naturally.” Ray murmured.

I looked to my brother in the dim light, Frank had an arm around him but looked just as terrified as he stared at the table in front of him. Ray just kept his gaze on the window, almost if he was paranoid something would crash through at any second. As we sat there in silence I felt as if I had to protect them but I had no idea what it was that I had to protect them from.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say the rating of this fic may change at some point, I'm not sure what I can write in a Teen rated fic so it may get boosted up to a Mature/Explicit one (mainly due to gore) - just so you guys know!

** Two **

** Frank **

_'Remembering the day we met rips my heart in half'_

The sunlight brought some comfort to us. None of us slept at all, we just huddled together in the dark scared shitless. Ray was the first to stand up, he went over to the window and looked outside, when he glanced back at us his expression was frosty.

“How bad?” Gerard asked.

“Horrible.” Ray replied. “You don’t wanna see.”

“So what do we do?” I asked. “We can’t call our parents…god knows what happened out there. Also how the hell did we not end up getting the same treatment?”

“Please…Frank just let me think.” Gerard whispered, standing up and pacing the room. He was quiet for what seemed like half an hour before eventually having an idea. “Okay, here’s what we do; Mikey you go upstairs and find dad’s hunting rifle, Ray you get the news channel up, Frank you help me barricade the doors and windows. Who or whatever is out there is not getting in.”

Mikey didn’t look convinced, I wasn’t overly enthusiastic but it’s better than sitting around doing nothing. Either way I heaved my body off the couch and followed Gerard to the hallway. He dove into the closet and passed me some boxes of junk that were surprisingly heavy.

“What the fuck is in here?” I asked as I dropped one at the front door.

“My comic book collection.” He replied with a smile. “My mom makes me keep them in boxes in the closet so she doesn’t recycle them by accident.”

With the front door now unable to be opened thanks to six heavy boxes, we moved to the backdoor that overlooked the yard.

“Hmm…I suppose we could drag the table over here.” I suggested. We shoved the dining table against the glass pane, placing two chairs on top of it for good measure. I wasn’t entirely sure why we weren’t just leaving already but it still made sense to barricade ourselves in…for now.

It was just before nine am when Ray declared he had gotten the TV to connect to something finally, seems that the phones weren’t the only things without service. We stood watching the screen as the bold letters scrolled across accompanied by gruesome images of streets bathed in blood, cars embedded in buildings, houses on fire.

**CHAOS IN JERSEY. 500 DEAD AND OVER 400 MISSING.**

“ _Chaos erupted in the state of New Jersey last night with the death toll reaching 500 this morning. Authorities are baffled as to the cause of the violence that has left the entire state in mass panic, with bodies littering the streets and fires raging in the industrial district. Residents are urged to remain in their homes and wait for local police to gain control of their areas._ ”

I was speechless, the entire state was like this? I hadn’t even seen the street outside yet but after the images the news channel broadcasted…I didn’t think I’d want to. Mikey returned form upstairs with the hunting rifle and a small handgun.

“Gee I got them.” He said, spurring all of us from our thoughts.

“Them?” Gerard asked. “I thought he only had the rifle, where the hell did that one come from?”

Mikey shrugged. “It was in the cabinet with the rifle…complete with several magazines of ammo.”

“…well at least we have some way of defending ourselves. You remember how to shoot?”

“I guess…we haven’t been to a shooting range in a while but I reckon I can handle the rifle.”

Gerard smiled slightly, his attention being drawn away by a frantic knock on the front door. We all froze as the knocking continued, Mikey silently put the handgun down and loaded the rifle. I had never seen him in this light, it was surreal.

Ray peeked through the blinds towards the door. “…it’s a girl.” He whispered. “She…she’s covered in blood.

I looked to Gerard, the knocking continued.

“Please help me…” A small sob came through the door.

“What do you think?” Gerard asked Ray.

“…she’s crying…it can’t hurt can it?”

I helped him move the boxes, Mikey kept the rifle in hand as we opened the door. The girl seemed to be somewhere in her early teens but she was quite short, her black hair was dishevelled and matted with blood and mud, she wore torn clothes which were also covered with blood and mud.

“…hey...” Gerard said, crouching down to her level as I closed the door behind her and barricading it again. “So what’s your name?”

“Helena.” She replied. “I-I don’t know what happened.”

We all exchanged glances, we had no idea how to look after a little girl, heck we had no idea how we were going to survive this ourselves.

“Okay…okay…well where do you live Helena?” Gerard asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

“By the river.” She said, hiccupping as she fought back more sobs. “I don’t know what happened to family, I just woke up and-” she broke into hysterical sobbing.

“Hey come on…it’s okay. You’re safe here.” He gently pulled her into a hug despite the state of her. Ray found some tissues for her and gave them to Gerard, I exchanged glances with Mikey.

“How old are you?” Gerard asked.

“Thirteen.” She gasped between hiccups.

Whether we liked it or not we now had a girl to look after, or at least clean up. Ray set about preparing some food for all of us, Mikey got sent upstairs to start running a bath and find some clothes of her, Gerard took the rifle and left me to try and console the poor girl.

“So Helena…” I said quietly, passing her another tissue. “My name is Frank, the one holding that rifle right now is Gerard, his little brother Mikey is currently running a bath for you upstairs and our friend Ray is making us some food.”

“Where are your parents?” She asked.

I paused for a few seconds. “Mine are a different state.” I answered with a small smile. “I haven’t spoken to my mother in nearly two weeks.”

“Really?” She exclaimed. “Two weeks?”

I nodded. “She’s visiting my cousins.”

“I have two cousins.” She declared. “They live in California.”

I was about to ask about them when Mikey called down that the bath was done, he added that he be damned if he was going to supervise her. Gerard rolled his eyes and set the rifle down.

“Come on Frank, you can help me out.”

I took Helena by the hand and led her upstairs to the bathroom, Gerard disappeared into the bedroom he shared with Mikey, giving me the instruction to get the girl into the bath. I point blank refused to watch her bathe, it just felt weird, so I left the door open and leaned against the wall outside the bathroom.

“Frankie?” she called, bringing me out of my thoughts with the nickname that only Mikey used to address me.

“Yeah Helena?”

“…what’s for lunch?”

“I dunno. Depends what Ray can cook up.” I replied, staring at the wooden floor. “I mean, he can make awesome mac ‘n’ cheese.”

“So what shampoo do I use?”

I groaned, I’d have to go in there and search through the bottle collection under the sink. Keeping my gaze away from her, I crouched down and peered into the cupboard, I could feel Helena’s staring as I just stared at the numerous brands.

 “Yo Gee.” I called.

“Yeah Frank?” he replied from the bedroom.

“Got any shampoo that Helena can use?”

“There’s plenty of shit in that bathroom Frank.”

I glanced quickly at Helena, she beamed at me. I was way out of my depth here, I found Gerard and Mikey sorting through old clothes in their room.

“Can you please come and help me out? I have no idea what I’m doing.” I asked the older brother.

They smiled at each other before Gerard shoved a shirt into Mikey’s hands. “Yeah okay.”

We returned to the bathroom and rummaged around the cabinet again and picked the least fragrant of brands before proceeding to gently wash the blood and mud out of her hair. She didn’t object to this, simply hugging her knees to her chest and staring at the water. Gerard didn’t seem fazed by the fact she was only three years younger than Mikey and I.

“You know, I used to wash Mikey’s hair when we were younger.” He said. “He’d always complain that I was being too rough or that it was getting in his eyes…”

I laughed slightly, I was an only child so I had grown up used to the solitude. It was part of the reason I took so easily to the Ways, they were the brothers I never had. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**

**Gerard**

_'I wanna be brave like you...'_

The only decent clothes we could find for Helena were a pair of jeans and one of Mikey’s old space invader shirts, sure they were a little on the large side but it was better than the blood stained rags she had turned up in. Ray had cooked up some mac ‘n’ cheese and Mikey had taken to watching the street from the lounge. I left Frank to talk with Helena whilst I spoke with Ray about our new development.

“So what do we do with her?” I asked. “I mean…we can take her to the police I suppose but…I dunno.”

“You’re hesitant, why?” He stated, staring at the lifeless street as if the road would tell him of my doubts

“I just feel responsible for her now.” I confessed, she trusted us now which meant I need to protect her as if she was my sister.

“Gerard, we don’t know if her parents are alive…I mean the fact she was covered in blood doesn’t bode well but we don’t know what happened.”

He was right, without an address we couldn’t check either. “I guess we’ll have to hand her over, but it doesn’t sit right.”

Ray put a hand on my shoulder. “This is all messed up Gee. All we can do is try and make the best decisions from what we find ourselves in.”

“So what do we do with ourselves?” I sighed. “I mean we can’t stay here…”

“We could go to Pete’s.” Mikey suddenly piped up from the doorway. “Chicago.”

“…right…”

“I’m serious…I’ll call Pete from a payphone and we can stay with him.”

In my mind this was obviously a good option, however I doubted whether we’d get to Chicago with whatever Ray had left in his truck’s gas tank. At the same time there was no way we could stay here, who knew how long it would be before our luck ran out. Realistically it was the safest option but it was still risky…we still had no idea what happened out there so we had no idea whether we’d even get out of the state.

“If you’re sure that Pete will let us stay with him then go for it.” I said. “Bearing in mind we might still have Helena.” He nodded, I then turned to Ray once more. “So how much gas _do_ you have in the tank?”

**~*~**

The night drew in far too quickly. It seemed that as soon as it got dark outside the guttural moaning started; low, drawn-out sounds of agony that didn’t even sound human half of the time. Mikey was still on rifle-duty, I had the handgun, we posted ourselves on the window seat overlooking the street. Ray and Frank sat on the floor figuring out a route through the state whilst Helena slept on the couch.

Despite our preparedness we didn’t actually know if we’d have to shoot anyone. The TV had cut out shortly after lunch and no matter what sorcery Ray used he couldn’t get it working again, the last we heard was that the death toll had reached 700 in and around our district alone and they couldn’t even begin to estimate the number of the missing. There was no other information regarding just _what_ had happened.

“…what is even making that noise?” Mikey asked, shifting his sitting position. “I can’t see a damn thing in this light.

We had taken the precaution of only having two lights on in the entire house; a small table lamp in the bathroom and a slightly larger one on the coffee table. The only problem with this was that it left Mikey and I in the dark, we could barely make out anything outside due to most of the streetlights being broken.

“It’s not that close, don’t worry about it.” I replied, trying to keep my own apprehension at bay.

“I don’t even know what we’re meant to be looking for…”

“Just stay alert.” I told him. “If we don’t draw any attention to ourselves we’ll be fine.”

As the hours slowly passed, Frank and Ray fell asleep, my concentration was lapsing. The sound of the rifle being loaded spurred me from my thoughts.

“…someone’s coming.” Mikey whispered, moving to open the window enough for the barrel to slip out. “I can’t see who but I can definitely see them.”

I craned my neck to peer into the darkness, at first I saw nothing but after a few moments I spotted the slow movements and heard the low moan that accompanied the person approaching our house.

“…you’ve always been a better shot.” I whispered.

“Hold on, I wanna see if they’re…in their right mind.” He uttered.

We sat there in silence, watching the body move closer, in and out of the shadows cast by the remaining street lights. It was a man, couldn’t have been much younger than our dad, his clothes were muddy and torn. Other than that there wasn’t much to say about him.

“…he’s dragging his feet.” I stated.

Mikey’s finger closed around the trigger. The man sluggishly got closer to our house, still keeping to the sidewalk but his presence just made me uneasy. I actually _wanted_ Mikey to shoot him just so I knew he wasn’t out there.

“Should we call out to him?” he whispered, keeping his eyes on the man.

“What if he turns violent?”

“Then I shoot him.”

“And what if there are others?”

He didn’t reply, I turned to look back onto the street. The man had stopped just a few feet from us. I clutched the handgun as he just stood there in the darkness, the smell of blood was wafting through the slightly ajar window and it was beginning to make me feel nauseous.

A raspy moan pierced the silence and made the hair on my arms stand on end. He had started walking towards us, I could now see that his face was all bloodied and bashed in yet he was still able to walk. One eye was missing and his jaw hung down leaving his mouth gaping open grotesquely.

I didn’t even lift my gun before an ear-shattering bang resonated from beside me. The man’s body fell to the ground instantly as blood seeped into our lawn. Mikey shut the window quietly although the others had already woken up.

“What the fuck happened?” Frank asked as he walked over to us, my ears were ringing like crazy but I could just about make out what he had said.

“…I don’t know.” I replied, looking at my brother. He was reloading the rifle without a word until he glanced up at us.

“…I shot him.” He simply stated, seemingly unaffected by the recoil.

“No shit.” Frank scoffed. “Why?”

“He was dead already.”

Frank and I just exchanged glances. “…how did you figure that?” I asked. “I mean he could’ve just been really hurt.”

“He was going to bleed to death from his injuries. However it was pretty obvious he was dead.”

“So…are you saying he was a zombie?” Frank asked, folding his arms. “Cause that’s what you seem to be implying.”

Mikey nodded slowly. “It…it does make sense though. I mean when you look out there do you see any intact bodies? No, you don’t, why do you think that is?”

I just stared at him, Frank likewise.

“The intact ones were ‘infected’ you could say, and have moved away. The only bodies we see out there are ones beyond infection.”

I didn’t realise there was a science to this. “And when did you figure all this out?”

“Earlier whilst I was watching the street. I noticed that the only bodies out there were all mutilated beyond recognition, so much so that I’m not even sure there are _any_ complete bodies there. So I figured; there must’ve been some people who didn’t get completely mulled by whatever came through here…if so where had they gone?”

“Mikey’s explanation is certainly the most plausible I’ve heard so far.” Ray said from the couch where Helena was sat rubbing her eyes. “But if he’s right, then there’s a chance that we could get ambushed…who knows what they want from us.”

Frank sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, pacing back and forth slightly. I looked out the window and my eyes widened.

“Fuck.” I uttered, there were at least ten more _things_ out there. I recognised some of them as our neighbours. “Where the fuck did they come from?”

Mikey slammed the window open and just open fired, reloading quickly as bodies fell. I saw Frank rush and take Helena by the hand before racing upstairs, Ray just watched as Mikey continued firing, I snapped myself back to reality as one of them nearly reached the window. With shaking hands I pointed and squeezed the trigger. The recoil surprised me and I fell backwards off the window seat with a thud.

Ray snatched up the gun and continued where I left off. I took this opportunity to find Frank and at least give him the baseball bat we had. They were hiding in the bedroom, Helena huddled on Mikey’s bed as Frank stood defiantly facing the door.

“Frank it’s me.” I stated as he flinched when he saw me.

“Jesus Christ Gerard.” He uttered, relaxing slightly.

I could hear Mikey and Ray muttering downstairs, all gunfire had ceased. Helena was shaking on the bed, Frank just stared at me, his expression cold.

“…are you okay Frank?”

He looked at the floor. “What the fuck is going on? Zombies? Really?”

I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know myself. “Frank…I.”

Mikey and Ray appeared, halting our discussion. “So we killed them all.” Mikey reported. “We need to leave asap though.”

I shot him a quizzical look.

“There’s more coming.” Ray said. “Too many for us to handle.”

I looked back to Frank and Helena, they were all waiting for me to decide what to do, they were waiting for me to make a choice.

“Ray you loaded the truck this afternoon didn’t you?” I quietly asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then we leave. We make for Chicago and we’ll call ahead when we get a chance.” I ordered. “Mikey you stay posted at the window and shoot as many sons of bitches as you can, Ray you get the truck started up and for god’s sake make sure it’s reinforced in some way. Frank you help me pack up the rest of the stuff.”

“What about me?” Helena piped up.

I crouched down next to the bed. “Write down your name and address, we’ll leave it here along with a note to our own parents. Just in case the cops come by looking for us.”

She smiled. I gestured for the others to get a move on as she shakily wrote her name and a jumble of words that I guessed were what her address was. Frank dug out two bags and shoved his clothes into one of them along with an assortment of mine and Mikey’s, he found Ray’s bag and put it with the others, scrambling as fast as he could.

“Here you go.” Helena stated, shoving the notepad back at me. I forced a smile as I looked at it, I didn’t want to lie to her but I had begrudgingly agreed with Ray to drop her off at the police station at the first opportunity.

I quickly wrote a note explaining our situation, I addressed it to our parents and tore it out leaving it on my pillow as I ushered both of them out of the room and down to the garage. Ray had reinforced his five-seater truck with some plywood that remained in our garage after renovations, it looked ugly as hell but it was better than nothing.

“So all we have is a sturdy front bumper?” Frank asked skeptically as he dumped our bags in the back beside the crates of food and other supplies we could find at a moment’s notice in the house.

“Hey it’s better than nothing.” Ray replied. “Better question is…who’s driving?”

I raised an eyebrow. “You?”

He shook his head. “I think you should Gee. I’d feel better shooting, you know…having got experience too.”

Mikey called Frank to help him with the ammo as I took the keys and sat in the driver’s seat. Helena settled in the center seat behind me, Mikey and Ray would sit either side of her and shoot out the windows if needed, Frank would sit up front with me and read the map as well as being lookout.

I thanked whatever god there was for garage door openers. “You guys ready?” I asked once everyone was in the truck, finger hovering over the button that would reveal the horror of the outside world to us. “Cause there’s no going back after this.”

A chorus of ‘yeahs’ replied. I mashed the button, starting the engine and revving it slightly as I watched the door open. The night sky beckoned us, I turned the headlights on and let the brakes off. Wheels screeched as they found traction and we shot out of the garage, I mashed the button again to close the door in an effort to preserve our home for whatever reason.

I swerved around parked cars and dismembered bodies, ignoring the bumps that were surely our deceased neighbours. Frank read out directions to get us to the freeway, Mikey and Ray had the back windows open enough so they could shoot if necessary, I was aware that Helena had gone quiet, a quick glance in the rear-view mirror showed me she was just staring out the windows as the passing carnage.

“Take a left.” Frank uttered.

I turned and we drove down a long stretch of road, we hadn’t seen many ‘zombies’ since we left our neighbourhood but I was on high alert now as we reached the intersection to join the freeway. The neon signs lit up with orange words:

**FREEWAY CLOSED – FOLLOW DIVERSIONS**

My heart sank. We’d have to go cross-country to get out then. As I turned the truck around I caught sight of movement ahead of us, a group of them were _running_ towards us. I didn’t think twice as I nailed the gas pedal.

“Sit tight guys, this’ll get bloody.” I declared, letting the truck’s breaks go. We slammed into the horde, bodies flying everywhere, blood coating the windshield, tires rolling over the limbs, moans and groans fading as we sped away.

I pulled over briefly to regroup my thoughts when Ray slapped the back of my head.

“Never do that to my truck again!” he exclaimed.

“Do what?”

“Stress the breaks like that, I only got the freakin’ disks changed recently dumbass.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Helena giggled slightly, pulling all of us out of our fear and adrenaline rushes.

“What’s so funny?” Frank asked her.

“Well you guys-” She said, stopping halfway through her sentence and pointing out the windshield with wide eyes. We all looked around to see a large muscular man slowly approaching us, his face was crooked and half bashed in.

“For fuck’s sake.” Mikey spat, opening his door and standing up on the footplate, he rested the rifle on the roof of the truck as he aimed. He fired but missed. The man stopped momentarily before becoming aggressive, I feared for our safety as he gained impressive speed.

“Mikey…” I called. “Make the shot count.”

A second later a deafening crack echoed around us, Mikey climbed back into the truck and slammed the door. “Drive.” He stated. I complied without arguing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still getting to grip with certain aspects of this fic, hopefully I'm using the right terminology for things!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small technical error, I ended up uploading the same chapter twice (too many drafts uploaded -.-)  
> Updates will be a little slower now as I'm about to go back to college, hopefully I won't get immediately swamped with work and burn out after a week.  
> Please bear with me if there are mistakes/OOC occurrences, I will most likely be writing these late at night from now on!
> 
> Thanks for reading though! :)

** Four **

** Frank **

_'So more than ever, it's real '_

The sun was beginning to rise as we approached Lake Mohawk. The freeway was just carnage; we had caught several glimpses of it as we took minor roads crisscrossing across farmland. Trucks were overturned, buses on fire, cars stacked up and tipping over the barriers. We could hear screams of people but we were powerless to help, not that we were even certain they were completely alive.

We had encountered a few more hordes as we journeyed across the state, passed a few more neighbourhoods that were deserted and eerie. Helena had been surprisingly quiet, then again we had all been quiet, just coming to terms with the horrific reality we had found ourselves in.

“Why don’t we try and tune the radio in to a news station?” Mikey suggested, breaking the eternity of silence.

“…go for it.” Gerard replied, gesturing for me to start pressing buttons. It took a while but eventually I managed to find one broadcasting station in range.

“ _We can confirm that the violence has spread from New Jersey to the following states: New York, Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland and Massachusetts. The death toll is unavailable right now but is estimated to be in the thousands across all six states where the violence has taken place._ ” The reporter babbled. “ _The advice from the national guard is to seek refuge in bunkers and secure houses and to refrain from encountering the violent perpetrators.”_

“Well that worked out _so_ well.” I remarked.

“ _Avoid freeways at all cost, should you have to leave stick to the minor roads and drive with caution._ ”

Gerard turned the radio off with a sigh. “So Mikey, when we find a payphone you need to call Pete.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Should we attempt to find the cops?” Ray asked. Gerard’s hands clenched the wheel tightly as he inhaled.

“No. We should just head straight to Chicago.”

“But Gerar-”

“No Ray. We’re taking no risks here. We’re going straight to Chicago.”

I wanted to know what business we’d have with the cops but I decided against bringing it up, something about Gerard’s tone warned us off questioning him. As the lake came fully into view Gerard pulled the truck over. We had spent a fair bit of the summer already at the lake with Ray’s dad as he liked to fish, it was deserted now though as we pulled up which only added to our unease.

We scoped out the area briefly before letting our guard down a little, Mikey set about reloading the rifle, Gerard poured over the map, Ray searched through the crates for some food.

“Frankie?” Helena asked, sliding out of the truck.

“Yeah?” I answered, tearing my gaze away from the lake where the water shimmered and reminded me of the days we spent laughing about ‘rod’ sizes.

“Who’s Pete?”

I smiled. “Pete is a friend of Mikey’s from middle school, his dad got a job in Chicago just before last summer. I haven’t met him before but from what I hear he’s a pretty cool guy.”

“So we’re going to live in Chicago?”

I didn’t have an answer. “I think so.”

Ray called us over from the back of the truck, he handed us a bag of chips each and a bottle of water. Mikey sat on the top of the cab with the rifle next to him as he ate, forever looking out across our surroundings. I found the handgun that Ray had been using and held it up, aiming half-heartedly at the water.

“What are you doing?” Gerard asked.

“Just practising my aim.” I replied.

“We should find some more weapons.” He mused. “I don’t feel comfortable relying so much on my brother.”

“I agree. I mean Mikey can’t stay awake forever.” I looked up at my best friend who was visibly exhausted from being awake all this time. “It’s only a matter of time before he crashes out.”

“You wanna take over today? Maybe I can convince him to sleep.”

I nodded, I hadn’t had much experience with any firearms but I figured it couldn’t be that difficult. We coaxed Mikey off the cab and told him of our concerns, or more to the point; I explained how concerned I was whilst Gerard just nodded.

“So do you know how to fire it?” he asked as he handed it to me.

“…yeah?”

He smiled and rolled his eyes before showing me how to hold it. “Okay you’ll want to have the rifle butt against your shoulder, sure the recoil will shoot through you but it’ll stop your shoulder be blown off.”

I instinctively closed my left hand around the polished grip, my right hand near the trigger

“Yeah, now don’t wrap your finger around the trigger unless you’re going to fire, just keep it across the guard.”

I smiled, this didn’t seem too hard. “How do I reload it?”

He tugged just behind my left hand, pulling the magazine free. “You can fit three bullets in here, I’ve only been putting two in so that when you release the bullet into the chamber you can see your only other bullet there.” He explained.

“Our instructor at the firing range told us to do that.” Gerard added. “Glad to see you remembered.”

Mikey smiled again as he snapped the magazine back in. “So now you pull this.” A slider moved so I could see the long brass bullet just about to head into the chamber. “and let go.” A click signified the bullet was now in the barrel. “Simple.”

I nodded. “So how many bullets we got left?”

“We have two boxes, each box hold twenty-four bullets.”

“Yeah we need to find a gun store.” Gerard sighed, going back to the map. “There’s a town seven miles from here, you reckon we’ll be able to find one?”

Mikey yawned. “I guess. Ask Ray, he’ll have a better idea.”

I smiled at him as he walked to the truck and led down across the back seats. He was still the same old Mikey which was good, I hoped that we’d all stay…well…’us’ throughout all of this. I climbed on top of the truck to where he had been sat, Helena was in the back with the crates, when she saw me she clambered up and sat with me. Gerard and Ray prodded the map and traced coloured lines as they discussed the best route to the town.

“Will you shoot anyone?” she asked me, looking at the gun.

“Yep, like it or not that’s how it has to be now. Shoot or be killed.”

“Will I have to shoot anyone?”

“God no.” I chuckled. “You won’t have to, just leave it to us, we’ll protect you Helena.”

She smiled. I watched the neighbourhood in front of us for any signs of life, it was quiet right now with the freeway being so far away.

“What’s going to happen?” she murmured.

“I don’t know to be honest.”

“…will I ever see my family again?”

I sighed heavily. “Helena…I don’t know.” I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I hope you will.”

A high pitched scream startled me, I held the gun up as I scanned the houses. The sunroof of the truck opened and Mikey’s head popped out.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked immediately, scaring me half to death in the process.

“I don’t fucking know.” I replied. “Helena, get inside the truck.”

She scrambled behind me and slid inside using the sunroof with Mikey’s help. Gerard and Ray were on alert now as they started realising we were not alone out here. Mikey spotted it first; the slow movements in the closest house to us. I lined up the shot, my hands were shaking but I gritted my teeth and sat completely still, remembering to keep the butt of the gun out of my armpit so I wouldn’t blow my arm off.

We heard the moaning again, the sound that for me signalled that whoever was there wasn’t with us anymore.  I kept my eyes on the window, it took a second for my reflexes to act but as soon as I saw the damn thing it was gone, a bloody wall in my sight instead.

“…you okay?” Mikey asked.

I nodded, pulling the slider back so the second bullet was loaded. “Y-Yeah.”

“You look spooked.”

“Well yeah I just shot someone!”

“…ah yeah…you haven’t ever gone hunting have you?”

I shook my head, I noticed my breathing was out of whack, my hands sweaty and slipping against the gun.

“It’s okay, they were…dead.” Mikey said quietly, his voice calm and soothing. He slowly lifted himself out of the sunroof and sat next to me. “You had no other choice.” His hands closed around the rifle and gently eased it from my grasp, drawing me into a hug.

I relaxed against him, the first time I had properly relaxed since we left. His scent reminded me of home. He held me for a while, just reassuring me as I came to terms with the fact I just killed someone or may or may not have been already dead.

“You’ll get used to it.” He murmured so matter-of-factly.

“How the hell would you know? Hunting animals is different to _this_.” I snapped, my voice was cracking slightly as my emotions got the better of me.

“Listen Frank, just believe that they _are_ animals. They have no thought process, no soul, nothing. Their only desire is to kill us.” He whispered in my ear, his breath warm and comforting despite his harsh words.

I nodded against him, battling the urge to cry. All sounds from the neighbourhood had ceased since I killed the thing. I refused to call them people if they weren’t alive like us. Gerard coughed loudly and declared we were moving on before we drew too much attention to ourselves.

So we secured the truck again, this time Ray rode shotgun meaning I was sat in the back with Mikey and Helena. Despite Gerard and I agreeing to give Mikey a break, I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be trusted with the rifle, especially if we had to make a split second decision.

**~*~**

“It’s too quiet.” I uttered as we pulled up outside a gun store. There was a lot less blood in this town then there was in Belleville but the devastation and chaos was clear all the same, hard to believe it had only been two days since this had all started. I was posted on guard duty with Mikey as Ray and Gerard looted the store. Helena sat in the truck sleeping.

“I know.” Mikey replied.

“You think the payphone works?” I asked, gesturing to a phone down the street from us.

“Shit yeah…” he breathed. “You’ll be alright here whilst I call Pete?”

I nodded, watching him jog over to it and pick up the handset, he gave me a thumbs up to show it was working. I chuckled and shook my head. I felt a little better than earlier, good enough to be able to hold the rifle without shaking anyway.

I scanned the area, nothing at all stood out about this place, I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. Gerard came out with a crate that he declared was ammo for the rifle, he disappeared again, telling me to reload and then secure the crate with the luggage straps. I did what I was told, resorting to stand on the cab and keep watch, Mikey was still on the phone when Ray came out and presented me with a slightly more impressive rifle.

“It’s an automatic.” He said. “Same calibre as that thing just easier to handle in some ways and can hold a lot more ammo.” He disappeared back inside the store.

I nodded, taking it and testing the viewfinder. The flicker of movement across the street caught my attention, I adjusted my grip and looked properly at the building in front of me, it was a bookstore and it struck me as very ordinary.

The quietest of moans focused my attention, I inhaled deeply and waited in silence. The second its bloody head popped into view was the second I squeezed that trigger and the sound of gunfire echoed off the buildings around me. I was caught off guard by the recoil and I fell onto my ass with a thud.

“Frankie?” Helena’s panicked voice interrupted the ringing in my ears.

“Yeah?” I called back, lowering myself off the roof of the truck.

“What happened?” she crawled up to the open window and poked her head out, her black hair catching the wind slightly.

“Nothing.” I said, playing it down. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Mikey.

“What happened?”

I sighed. “Nothing…just killed another _thing_.”

A few moments of silence passed as he studied my face before smiling. “Well done.”

I snorted, looking at the gun in my hands and realising I had no idea how to reload the damn thing. “Whatever, as you said; I’ll get used to it.”

Gerard and Ray came out with two gun cases and another crate of ammo, they looked at us before shrugging and loading them into the truck. I thought we were just going to leave but it seemed like they had a different idea.

“Right so Ray and Mikey, you go and find some food from that store.” Gerard instructed. “Helena come with Frank and I as we head to the hardware store around the corner.”

“What about the truck?” Mikey asked.

“It’s staying here, we’ll meet back in ten minutes okay. No time wasting at all, just grab what you can and get your asses back here.”

I raised an eyebrow but shrugged, opting to not question Gerard as we parted ways. Helena seemed on edge as we quickly and quietly made our way to the store. The gunfire had no doubt attracted more of _them_ , we had played enough video games to understand that much however we had a distinct lack of baseball bats.

“Pay attention Frank.” Gerard hissed as he broke open the door to the store. “You have the only gun with us.”

“Shit yeah.” I mumbled, turning around to check we were okay. Helena jumped slightly when she was confronted with the barrel of my gun. “Jesus fucking Christ.” I cursed, jumping out my skin too.

“Will get inside and shut the fucking door already!” Gerard hissed again. I closed the door behind us and peered out the window, I could hear him then ordering Helena to fill a duffle bag with everything he handed her.

The street was weirdly silent, I was expecting them to flock towards us but there hadn’t been a single noise or movement. I was pulled from the window and given a hunting knife, I was confused until Gerard explained.

“Guns make noise. Knives don’t.”

“Well no shit.” I remarked, fitting the protective sheath to my jeans and slowly drawing the blade out in front of me. “I’ve never had a knife fight though.”

He rolled his eyes. “Before today you hadn’t shot anything but that changed quickly.” There was something about his tone that made me flinch, like he was mad at me? I chose not to question it, now was not the time to make an enemy out of him. “Give me the gun now, I’ve got more experience.”  I complied without a word.

A glance inside the bag showed the supplies we were looting; duct tape, rope, a few boxes of nails, a fire axe, flares and all sorts of seemingly random shit from the shelves. Again, I decided to not question any of it, Gerard seemed very tense since I fired the gun in the street.

“We done here yet?” Helena asked, she was scared, so was I to a certain extent. We hadn’t split up like this and it was making me feel very uneasy and vulnerable.

“I guess.” Gerard uttered. “Although we should be hasty about getting back to the truck.”

“Why?”

He gave me a disbelieving look. “I hope you’re joking.”

I glared at him. “Well I’m sorry for being slightly confused by your actions.”

With the silence falling between us I shrugged and kicked the door open, starting the walk back to the truck without a word. I watched for any movement in front of me as I slowly walked along the street, ignoring the feeling that I shouldn’t have stormed out like that.

My hand found the knife and I drew it out again, fingers closing around the handle tightly as I checked behind me. Gerard and Helena weren’t too far behind, he was carrying the gun as she carried the duffle bag, I smirked and focused on getting back to the truck. I heard shouts and the sound of bodies hitting the truck as I rounded the corner, four of these things had attacked Mikey and Ray whilst they were loading the supplies into the back.

“Frank!” Mikey called, I broke out into a run without thinking about how I was going to help. Ray shoved back one of them and struck it with the butt of his rifle whilst Mikey just held another at arm’s length.

I shoved the blade through the neck of it, missing the spine but making it pause all the same. My hand shook as I just stood there, knife buried in rotting flesh. Mikey pulled out another blade and stabbed it in the chest, the body became like a ragdoll as we withdrew our blades and let it fall. I didn’t even have enough time to comprehend what had happened when I was pounced on from behind, fingers digging into my arms and neck as I was dragged backwards. The knife fell from my hands as my feet gave way and I ended up on the sidewalk.

A snarling- foul smelling face came into view barely inches from mine, my mind went blank as it clawed at my face and arms. I tried to shield myself from its teeth as it relentlessly attacked me. Mikey was trying to tear his knife from the other one as blood began trickling down my arms from the gashes.

“Mikey get this fucking thing off me!” I yelled, attempting to roll away but the thing kept me from moving, it was surprisingly heavy for someone who seemed so small. I felt its jaw close around my arm and that was the final straw for me, I shoved it away, scrambling for the knife and then running it through the skull. I tore my arm from the lifeless jaw and stood up staring at it, panting as blood continued to trickle down my arms.

“Oh my fuck…are you okay Frank?” Mikey asked immediately, rushing over to me.

“I nearly fucking died.”

“…shit…your arms are messed up.”

“Yeah thanks for saving my ass…not.” I muttered, brushing past him as I made a beeline for the first aid kit.

Gerard and Helena had gone to Ray’s aid, they just stared at me as I tore open the bandages and tried to wrap up my wounds. It didn’t take long for Mikey to try and reason with me.

“…I’m sorry…I just freaked out, I nearly died too and probably would’ve if you hadn’t have arrived then.” He murmured, taking the bandages from me and examining my arms. I sighed but let him get on with it, I may be stubborn but I had enough sense to let someone else treat my injuries.

“You could’ve been a bit quicker to respond though.” I replied, wincing as he poked the reddening teeth marks.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault they arrived anyway, I misfired a gun as we moved a load of shit around.”

“Bullshit, I fired a bullet a while ago, that probably drew them anyway.”

He smiled slightly. “I’m gonna just wrap this all up in bandages once I’ve cleaned it. Let’s just hope to god that this won’t spread the-”

“Don’t even say that.” I snapped, clenching my fists. I didn’t want to even consider becoming one of them.

He placed a hand over one of my clenched fists, gently squeezing in apology before getting on with treating me. I tried not to wince or cry out as he cleaned each gash with anti-bacterial wipes, I took to tearing off a piece of my now bloody shirt and biting down on it in order to deal with the intense stinging.

The bandages were tight but I guessed that was the point. I felt like a mummy as Mikey packed the remaining stuff away, I cleaned the knife quickly whilst waiting for him to finish. Gerard barked at us to get our asses in the van so we could just leave already, he was certainly becoming a control freak over all of this, never mind the fact his little brother and one of his friends just nearly _died_ and might need some time to regain their composure.

 “So what did Pete say?” The older Way asked as Ray took to the wheel. I sat between Mikey and Helena in the back seat, labelled as unfit to hold a gun properly due to my injuries and the potential to go into shock.

“He said that Chicago is on high alert, apparently the violence has spread quickly into Pennsylvania and even Ohio.” Mikey reported. “Him and three others are making a break for it, they said they’ll meet us in Indiana in a week.”

“Three others?”

“Yeah, Patrick, Joe and Andy. Although he did say they were travelling in two different trucks so they might split up if supplies run low.”

We fell into silence. I was tired, we all were really. Mikey kept making sure I was okay, squeezing my hand occasionally and smiling briefly but then quickly returning to being on lookout as we hurtled into the state of Pennsylvania. I wasn’t sure if this was just the protective trait that both the Way brothers have or whether he felt guilty for nearly getting me killed, either way it was touching…but it also made it hard for me to sleep off the pain from my throbbing arms.


	5. Chapter 5

** Five **

** Gerard **

_'The peaceful times have made us blind.'_

I wasn’t sure if it was luck or just the fact that everywhere we went seemed abandoned, but we found somewhere to hole up for the night. It was late afternoon and we had been driving along back roads and dirt tracks when we stumbled on a farmhouse, completely deserted and in eerily good condition.

It was an impressive house; two floors, a wraparound porch, large windows spacing out the wooden and stone frame. Ray gutted the truck’s engine as we pulled up right next to it, despite its deserted appearance I volunteered to scout it out just in case there was anything lurking around. The interior of the house was chaotic but there was no sign of life so I ushered everyone else inside, Frank was slipping in and out of consciousness and Mikey was visibly shaken from the events of the day, Helena just looked around the room uneasily whilst Ray finished securing the truck in the garage.

“So we have a camping lamp right?” Helena asked. “Obviously turning the house lights on would be a stupid idea.”

I searched one of the two boxes we had packed in our house, Mikey and I went camping once or twice with our dad so we had a bit of basic survival gear like flashlights, matches, a lighter, two first aid kits and a few thermal blankets. Thankfully we had replenished everything and organised it after the last trip and left the container in the garage so it was within easy reach. I didn’t even realise that Ray had picked up that specific container.

“We don’t have an actual lamp but we do have some flashlights.”

“And spare batteries?”

I turned to the duffle bag we used to get stuff from the hardware store. “We got a few in here.”

Frank was led on a couch in the gloomy lounge, he didn’t look in too much pain but he wasn’t exactly buzzing with energy either. My brother was sat on the floor by the couch cleaning the rifle and reloading it in case we needed it. Ray was rummaging through the other box we had brought with us that had food in it, again from the camping trips.

The one thing I could think of that would need doing was barricading us in for the night, the last then we wanted was getting murdered in our sleep, especially with Frank’s condition. I enlisted Helena’s help to search the house for anything useful before pretty much securing the living room as our base until morning. We shoved and heaved furniture in front of the front and back doors, the windows were blocked by things that would make a racket if they were moved; thus alerting us to any intruders, we found the ground floor bathroom and made a note of how to get to it from the lounge.

Helena was proving useful, she was smaller and made less noise than me which would definitely come in handy if she ever had to sneak up behind someone or something. It also meant she could clamber over furniture without causing a mass avalanche like I would.

“You want me to check the attic?” she asked after I had pointed to the hatch above us.

“…I could if you’re too scared.” I said, shining the light over the cord that would pull it open.

“I’ll hold the flashlight for you then.”

I nodded and pulled the hatch open, after a few seconds of waiting I slowly began to ascend into the attic, Helena followed me up but remained at the hatch whilst I explored the cluttered area, it provided little other than a quick glance out of a window to the farmland behind the house. I did come across a box of old newspapers that I reckoned would be useful for starting a fire if we got desperate.

We got back to the lounge, Mikey had fallen asleep loosely wrapped in a blanket with his arms folded against his chest and head resting on his knees, I couldn’t tell if Frank was asleep or just resting his eyes. The one who was awake of course was Ray. He had made instant noodles despite me implying that we keep noise to a minimum, Helena ate quickly before bagging the other couch, leaving Ray and I to debate on who was going to take first watch.

“How do you think this is going to play out?” he asked me as we quickly washed up the dishes we had used, making sure to keep some noodles aside for Mikey and Frank.

“Long term or short term?”

“Long.”

I sighed heavily. “I dunno Ray, I mean we keep saying we’ll head to the coast…but after that I honestly don’t know. I’m hoping Pete will have an idea.”

“You know how dawn of the dead ends?”

“They sail off on a boat…yeah well how do we know if this is just a thing for our country? What if it’s like this everywhere?”

“We have to hope that it isn’t.” he whispered, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “We have to hope that we’ll survive this and live out the rest of our lives in peace.”

“You’re an old soul in a young person’s body, you know that Toro?” I joked, it was something that he heard a lot from our teachers in school.

He smiled and told me to go to sleep as he’d take first watch, I was going to object but he insisted that I get at least get two hours of sleep. I eventually conceded, opting to follow my brother’s example and just slump against the couch whilst wrapped up in a blanket. As my heavy eyes closed I felt oddly relaxed, today had just been one thing after another and I just wanted to sleep for an eternity, although I knew I had a duty to protect my brother in the temporary absence of our parents, I also had a duty to protect Helena and Frank as if they were my siblings too.

**~*~**

It was dark when Ray woke me up, at first I couldn’t see anything in the glare of the flashlight but once my eyes were used to the darkness I took note of a few things. Firstly the two bowls of noodles we left out for Mikey and Frank were gone, second was that Frank was curled up in Mikey’s hold and seemed to be sobbing, and third was that Ray hadn’t seemed to address it at all.

“You sleep enough?” he asked me, I nodded as I stretched. “Cool, it’s been quiet so far.”

I stood by the window which overlooked the dirt road and the farmland beyond it, as far as out of harm’s way was concerned, we had picked a pretty good house. Ray had quickly fallen asleep, leaving me in silence. Although I was curious as to exactly what the other two were doing if they weren’t sleeping.

With no sign of anything outside I decided to find out, I leaned the rifle against the wall next to the window before sitting on the edge of the cluttered coffee table facing the two of them. Mikey glanced up at me, his arms still encasing Frank, and smiled slightly.

“What’s up?” I whispered.

“His arm’s hurting and he keeps having flashbacks.”

I looked at the floor, it had been a horrific ordeal, Helena and I had watched it all unfold in front of us. Thank god that I had the gun so I could pick off the fourth one that was about to attack Ray, Helena just stood there terrified as Frank got pulled backwards…

“Is he sleeping or what?”

Mikey leaned back slightly and put his lips close to Frank’s ear as he whispered. A few agonising seconds passed before I hear the faintest of replies.

“He’s trying to.” Mikey told me. “He says it hurts.”

“Have you checked his wound since we got here?”

Mikey shook his head. “He won’t let anyone touch it.”

I rolled my eyes before retrieving the first aid kit. “You hold him, I’ll check it.” I stated, I wanted no arguments but someone had to make sure the wound was healing properly.

Frank bolted up as soon as the words left my mouth. “No!” he hissed. “You’re not- I won’t let you.”

This was completely out of character for him, I wasn’t expecting him to give his arm to me without at least a murmur of complaint but I wasn’t expecting him to freak the fuck out either.

“Shh…Frank it’s okay…” Mikey murmured, rubbing his back in an effort to calm him down. “We need to check the wound okay, we don’t want it to get worse.”

I watched as Frank began to relax, my brother certainly had a way with him that I wasn’t ever going to replicate.

“…okay.” Frank uttered, balling his hand into a fist as he let me take his other arm.

I studied the bandaging, it was tight and sloppy which didn’t tell me much about the wound underneath. It took me a few moments to unravel his arm, the wadding coating the spot that was bitten wasn’t exactly soaked with blood like I feared, it was more of a spotting.

I shone the flashlight over his arm, I hadn’t actually _seen_ it before now, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. The zombie had only gotten a grip on him, it hadn’t punctured deeply but he had been bleeding. My eyes glanced up to find his face buried in Mikey’s shirt, I could see his jaw was clenched as he held his shaking arm out to me. I felt a little bit guilty for putting him through this but the last thing we needed was him getting an infection.

It didn’t take me too long to clean the wound, it was already healing well so I dressed it with a slightly lighter bandage. Once I was done I sighed heavily and looked at my brother.

“Done.” I murmured. “It’s healing well, no sign of infection.”

Frank withdrew his arm and remained buried in Mikey’s shirt. I left them to it, remembering I was supposed to be on watch, as long as they both got sleep I didn’t really care at this moment in time.

The farmland was quiet as Ray had said it had been, my thoughts were turning to just what our long term plan was. I said that I hoped Pete had a plan, failing that I guess the obvious option is to get the hell out of America, Canada would be the first choice just purely because it was closer than anywhere else and there was a chance that there’d be aid of some sort. Of course if Canada was in a similar plight to us then we’d either have to go south to Mexico or west across the Pacific Ocean.

Clouds covered the moon, leaving it darker than I would’ve liked it, with the flashlight still on the table I had to rely on being able to hear anything approaching. I wasn’t sure if this was better than being able to see. There’s something terrifying about not being able to see if you’re in danger.

**~*~**

The sun rose over the fields slowly, illuminating the room with a soft golden glow. I yawned and stretched, leaning the rifle against the wall as I went to wake up Ray and Helena. Mikey and Frank had fallen asleep not long after Frank stopped squirming and shaking from night terrors, I didn’t have the heart to wake them yet.

“You take watch, I’ll find something to eat.” I told Ray in a hushed tone. “And don’t wake those two; they’ve had a rough night.”

Helena rubbed her eyes and looked at me quizzically. “What do you mean rough night? Were we attacked?”

I shook my head. “Frank was…wasn’t sleeping.” I held back on the details, it was his business, not mine.

She didn’t seem entirely convinced but I beckoned her to help me find something quick and simple to sort out for breakfast. We rummaged through all the tins that were in the box, Helena found two cans of baked beans and seemed pretty set on having them, I smiled and tried to remember whether the kitchen was in a fit state for us to use.

A while later we had divided up the two cans between five bowls and carried them all into the lounge, the smell of food seemed to stir the slumbering ones and we ate quickly without much discussion. Mikey took over watch as Ray and I poured over the map again.

“I’m gonna have to fill up in Ohio somewhere.” Ray sighed, pointing at the criss-cross of roads on the map. “We won’t have enough to get to Indiana from here.”

“How long will it take to get there?”

“…I dunno…somewhere between ten and twelve hours?”

I sighed and struck the map with my fist. “Why the fuck is this even happening?” I was beginning to lose my composure slightly,

Ray looked at me with a puzzled expression, although I’m pretty sure he knew what was coming.

“Why are we running across the country in the first place?” I continued. “Why us? Why now? Why is any of this happening?”

Ray shrugged. “We can’t dwell on _why_ this is happening…we have to live through it.”

“What if this is the end of the world?” Frank muttered from the couch, I didn’t realise he had been listening.

“Don’t talk like that.” Ray scoffed, casting a weary glance towards the kitchen where Helena had volunteered to clean the dishes.

“Don’t tell me that I don’t have a point though.” Frank glared back at both Ray and I. “Zombies, deserted towns, loss of contact with the outside world. Sounds very apocalyptic to me.”

I had to agree with him, it was like every movie and video game we’d seen or played. Although actually admitting that we were possibly experiencing the end of the world as we knew it…or at least the end of America was something else entirely.

“And we’re gonna run out of places to run sooner or later.” Frank added, rubbing his bandaged arm. “And we’re gonna get injured like fuck.”

“Frank shut up.” I found myself saying. “Just shut the fuck up.”

“So you can tell us all it’ll be okay?” He fired back, standing up and clenching his fists. “Gerard we’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you’re telling me to _shut the fuck up_ just because I’m choosing to speak the ugly truth?”

I gritted my teeth, I didn’t need Frank being his questioning self right now. I needed to focus on getting my own head straight and he wasn’t helping in the slightest. “Frank, just let me think-”

“That’s all you wanna do!” he exploded. “You haven’t actually told me or Helena what’s going on, you’re just assuming we’re going along with it.”

“Well you want to fucking survive don’t you?” I shouted back, taking a step towards him.

“Not if you’re just gonna make choices about our lives without at least telling us what the freaking plan is.” He spat, squaring up to me, however he was a few inches shorter than me so it wasn’t particularly intimidating. “You’re not the one who nearly fucking died.”

 “Both of you stop it.” Mikey interrupted. “You’re both being idiots, none of this is any of our fault.”

I heard him walk over to us and put a hand on each of our shoulders. Frank just continued to glare up at me in silence, completely ignoring Mikey’s touch.

“We need to stick together now more than ever, we need to listen to each other, work together and _above all_ avoid unnecessary conflict.” He continued. “So both of you pull yourselves together and let’s get a move on whilst we still have daylight.”

I just stared at Frank, he stared back. It took a small shove from Mikey to spur us to move. I don’t know whether it was luck or by pure coincidence that Helena returned from the kitchen at that moment.

“We leaving yet?” she asked, seemingly oblivious to the shouting that had just occurred, I was pretty sure she had heard it.

“Soon, I could use your help packing up.” I muttered, glancing back at Frank one last time before gesturing to the mess of bandages and stuff that had come out of the crates.  She nodded and stepped between Frank and I to start clearing up. The silence that fell from then until we had loaded the truck was suffocating.

The only thing that we could both agree on was that Frank wasn’t going to be shooting, he said he preferred hand-to-hand now anyway. I found that a little odd as he nearly died but I didn’t question it, I somewhat trusted him more when he didn’t have the rifle.

So Ray was driving, Helena sat up front and I got the joy of being the second gunner and also the joy of being sat next to Frank. The only reason I was putting up with his scowling expression was that Helena wanted to be more of a help so Ray gave her the map and told her to read off the set of instructions we had made earlier.

The roads were eerily clear, it was beginning to unsettle me. One would think during nationwide panic that there would be hordes of people frantically escaping any way they can, yet we hadn’t come across anyone since leaving Jersey. It was really beginning to seem like this was the end of the world. The silence in the truck wasn’t helping.

“Ray?” Helena piped up.

“Yeah?”

“Why haven’t we seen anyone?”

Ray was at a loss, he glanced back at me in hopes I would know what to say.

“Because they’re all dead.” Frank uttered. I stared at him wide-eyed, he couldn’t just say that to a kid.

“Really though?” she asked, she didn’t seem that distraught about Frank’s comment. “I mean, are they really dead?”

“I hope so, otherwise we murdered a few people.” Mikey remarked. Why were we discussing this so calmly?

“Zombies are the _undead_ right?” She continued. “So are they really dead?”

I saw what she was trying to get at but she was _thirteen_ for god sake.

“To be honest we don’t know what they actually are.” Ray sighed. “We’re assuming they’re zombies because that’s just what they…seem to be.”

“You mean like in horror films?”

“Kinda.”

“Certainly feels like we’re in one.” Frank added sulkily. “Where the fuck are we going by the way?”

“Southern Ohio.” Helena replied, jabbing the map in front of her. “So we’re avoiding all the major cities?”

“For obvious reasons.” Ray murmured.

“Yeah but…what about supplies?”

“Pete will have some stuff we can have. The goal right now is to find him and the others and then…um…”

I just stared out the window at the passing fields, tuning out the conversation taking place and concentrating on what we were driving towards. It was just fields for most of the way and I wasn’t overly concerned for most of the drive, once we crossed the state line and started driving into Ohio however…things changed.

“Is that smoke?” I suddenly asked, watching the black plumes rising on the horizon.

“…shit yeah.” Ray uttered, pulling the truck over on the side of the road. We all got out and stared at the town that seemed to be on fire.

“Which town is it?” Frank asked.

“Cambridge I’d guess. This road goes right through it.” Ray replied, turning to look at me. “You think we should drive straight through or find a different road?”

I thought about what Helena said earlier, we could find some decent supplies in there but it was also kind of risky if the place was in chaos.

“We’ll drive through, but we aren’t stopping unless it’s deserted.” I said. “That okay with everyone?” I added, remembering Frank’s outburst about not being told anything. Maybe he did have a point and that I should try and consider their wishes…

“Fine with me Gee.” Mikey replied, getting back in the truck.

“I’m cool with it too.” Ray murmured.

“Same.” Helena piped up, following Ray as he got into the truck again. This left Frank and I stood outside alone in silence.

I waited for him to say something, it felt like an eternity before he finally spoke. “I suppose I’d be outnumbered anyway if I said it wasn’t okay with this suicide mission.” He sighed.

“Frank, I said we wouldn’t leave the truck unless it was deserted so there is no risk involved.”

He scoffed. “There’s no such thing as ‘no risk’ anymore Gerard.” With that he got back into the truck. I turned back towards the smoke and sighed heavily, the video games and movies didn’t prepare me for the emotional war inside myself. There were no cheat codes to enter or fast forward buttons to press to escape this horrible torn feeling inside of me. Do I become a control freak to protect them, potentially jeopardizing our sibling bonds in the process, or do I let stupid choices slip by in order to keep the peace?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I start college again tomorrow, so here's a quick update just incase I get overwhelmed with work this week.  
> As for a schedule for uploading...at the moment I reckon it'll be a Friday night/Saturday morning (England time) deal but obviously that depends on me having written an update!
> 
> So yeah, thanks for reading! :)

** Six **

** Frank **

_'Don't show fear..._ '

I hated how I couldn’t do anything. I told Gerard that I preferred hand-to-hand combat but really I wanted nothing more than to blow the heads off of some of these things that nearly killed me. My arm throbbed from the pain of the bite, I hadn’t gotten any sleep even though I was wrapped up in Mikey’s comforting hold for the second half of the night.

And of course the nightmares came whenever I did lull myself to sleep for more than two minutes. They ranged from replaying the attack on Mikey to massive exaggerations of what could’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten there in time. Seeing my best friend get killed multiple times in my sleep certainly kept me awake, after the fourth time of me jolting myself awake Mikey let me snuggle up to him in an effort to help relax me.

It helped a little, but the pain in my arm was the next thing to keep me awake. Even now, sat in the truck between the two Ways, it was aching slightly. Gerard forcing me to let him change the bandages wasn’t exactly the highlight of the night either.

It was common knowledge in our school that I get irritable when I haven’t slept properly, when someone pushed my buttons too much I was liable to get hot-headed so Mikey would have to pull me away with a sigh so I could calm down without burying someone’s face in a locker. It made me a little open to bullying but we weren’t really the top targets so we were left alone most of the time, having two seniors for friends tends to help that too.

So when Gerard tried to suddenly seem like the good guy by consulting everyone else on the burning town situation I got slightly irritated. He still pretty much _told_ us what was happening, and as I said to him; I would’ve been outnumbered anyway if I had spoken up. His choices seemed slightly irrational anyway, why the fuck would we want to drive through a burning town? What good could possibly come of that?

The only thing that we gained from driving into the town was witnessing bodies on fire in the street, blood stained roads and cars, shops that had been looted. Apparently the priority right now was gas for the truck, I just wanted to sleep but that wasn’t going to happen with Gerard barking in my ear.

“Take a left.” He ordered Ray.

The truck leaned to the side as we headed down a street that wasn’t on fire or filled with blood. I was beginning to feel sick just thinking about how many people are dead because of this. Other than the sound of burning buildings and the occasional scream of someone who was at the mercy of the undead, it was eerily quiet, just like every other fucking town we’d gone through.

It begged the question; how did the infection, or whatever it is, get in front of us? How the fuck was it spreading? Why was this even happening in the first place? So many questions and no sign of any answers showing up any time soon, especially as the gas station had an impressive pile of cars smashed into it and were ablaze.

“Fucking hell.” Ray murmured, stopping the truck with a squeal of the brakes. “How the fuck?”

“Someone clearly drove into the gas pump.” Mikey observed.

“So they were attacked whilst driving?” Helena asked, staring wide-eyed at the burning carcasses of the vehicles.

“Probably.” I sighed. “So now what Gerard?”

He looked at me with a slight glare. “Well we need to get more gas.”

I rolled my eyes and balled my hands into fists for what seemed like the hundredth time since this started. “No shit.”

“Well if you have any bright ideas Frank you’re more than fucking welcome to share them.”

I wanted to say a lot, however none of those things would help us right now. “No.”

We fell silent for a while, Ray drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought, Mikey reached out and covered one of my clenched fists with his free hand. It was a simple gesture but it made me feel a little better, his hand lingered for a while but eventually disappeared as Gerard seemed to come to his senses on my other side.

“Right, well let’s just drive around and look for another gas station.” He sighed. “Helena are there any on the map?”

“Two blocks from here.” She murmured.

The truck rumbled into life and we bolted down roads at speeds I didn’t even want to consider. The gas station seemed to be in good working order, Ray gutted the engine and went about filling the tank up. Mikey popped open the sunroof so he could keep a lookout, Gerard wanted to stretch his legs so I was left with Helena.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “Gerard said you had a rough night.”

“I bet he did.” I uttered. “I’m okay. My arm is fucked though.”

She twisted around in the seat so face me, she smiled and reached for my hand. “It’ll be okay.”

I snorted, a child was trying to comfort me when really she was probably scared shitless. “Hopefully.” I replied quietly, Mikey dropped down from the roof and nearly knocked me out with the rifle.

“Holy shit are you okay?” he asked as soon as he realised what he had nearly done.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I murmured, rubbing my face as I sat back in the centre seat.

He regarded me with a slightly disbelieving glance, Ray was going to take a little while longer to fill up the tank and god knew what Gerard was doing.

“…do you wanna talk about…” Mikey started, pausing to bite his lip in thought. “The argument?”

I shook my head, now was not the time. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well I am worrying about it Frank. Don’t go all quiet on me now like you always do when you’re pissed.”  He didn’t mean to come across as annoyed but I knew exactly what he was getting at.

“…Gerard’s not one of the bullies dude, he’s your brother and practically my adoptive brother…it’s not like I can just punch him in the face and be done with it.”

“Maybe you can.” He whispered, almost as if he wasn’t sure of it himself. “Maybe if you…well…explain to him in a less tense situation…maybe that’ll work. He’s only trying to keep us safe Frank, I know that he can be irrational sometimes but he’s used to looking after a klutz like me for the pass sixteen years…he knows what he’s doing.”

If we weren’t in the middle of a zombie apocalypse I would’ve believed him. How could Gerard know how to protect us when he had no real idea what was happening?

“Just have a little faith Frank.” Mikey said, his hand covering mine again for the briefest of moments before leaving again. Ray returned and sighed heavily, asking Helena where the map was. She was too engrossed in watching Mikey and I to hear him at first, only when Gerard got back in the truck did she spur from her staring. I felt a little unnerved…and a little bit confused.

**~*~**

“We’re stopping already?” Helena asked, we were on the outskirts of the town when Ray pointed out a house in the deserted suburbs and pulled into its drive.

“For a few minutes.” Gerard replied, turning to Mikey. “There’s a payphone, call Pete and agree when and where we’re meeting him…and make it quick.”

“Alone?” the younger Way asked.

“…well unless Frank’s going with you…”

“Sure I’ll go with him.” I immediately said, I wanted to get out of the truck after so many hours of being sat still and forbidden to do anything.

The air smelt of smoke, burnt wood and death. I felt queasy almost as soon as I stepped outside but I didn’t complain. We walked quickly down the street towards the familiar phone stand, Mikey fished a few coins out of his pocket and started feeding them into the machine. I reached into the pocket of my hoodie and found the knife that had saved both my life and his, it still had some dried blood on it which seemed very stubborn about getting off. It was almost like a reminder of the moment I nearly died.

“Hey Pete?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah?” the crackled reply came. “Where you to?”

“Cambridge Ohio. You?”

“Illinois, just about to pass through the border into Indiana, you all still alive?”

That question sent a shiver down my spine.

“…just about. Frank and Gerard aren’t exactly seeing eye-to-eye at the moment though so there’s a bit of tension.”

“Frank….that’s the kid who you-” Pete started.

“Where are we meeting you guys?” Mikey interrupted, I thought nothing of it, we didn’t have much change to spare and phone calls eat up a lot of it. Plus Gerard hated wasting time and we’d probably get yelled at if we took much longer.

“…two days? It’s not safe to travel at night, we learnt that the hard way…” Pete replied, his voice an octave lower, he sounded tired and stressed, much like the rest of us.

“Bloomington still the place?”

“..no..no it’s not safe there.”

Mikey’s eyebrows furrowed. “Huh?”

“Listen, Patrick’s in a bad way…I…make for Oklahoma, call me when you get there and we’ll figure something out.”

They finished the call, Mikey was quiet for a few moments, we just stood at the phone for a soaking up the sun and the peaceful silence.

“…so what was Pete gonna say about me?” I asked, slightly curious even though it wasn’t really important, I didn’t want to ask what Pete meant by ‘bad way’ and ‘not safe’.

Mikey’s eyes widened ever-so-slightly but he shook his head and cracked a smile. “He was gonna make a joke about how I replaced him with you, although you’re nothing like him really.”

I smiled back, relieved it was something relatively trivial and not another end of the world to deal with. “Oh okay, well this should be an entertaining meet up then.” I laughed as we started walking back.

“Yeah…” Mikey sighed, he seemed slightly ‘off’ but I wasn’t even going to start questioning it, I was already in a stalemate with one brother, I didn’t need to start another.

“So how did you actually call Pete? I thought the phone lines are all down.”

“He has a satellite phone, one of his dad’s perks of the job. It works as long as there’s a satellite up there.” He looked up to the smoke filled sky. “Anyway, we should get a move on.”

So once again I was forced into the centre seat, I had completely lost track of what time of day it was, all I knew is that the sun was shining and we weren’t meant to be travelling at night. The only other thing I was aware of was the fact that we were all on the edge of collapsing from exhaustion. Once we were far enough away from the town for Gerard’s liking we set about finding somewhere to stay overnight.

We settled on a small one floor house on what would’ve been a quaint street if it wasn’t for the lack of living residents. It was basically decided for us that Mikey and I would be the ones on watch tonight, I didn’t make a fuss but I was still a little annoyed at being told what to do.

It was canned ravioli for our ‘meal’ if you could even call it that. I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until Ray passed me the small bowl. Gerard crashed out on the couch once he had finished eating, Ray quickly after him, I sat with Helena on the floor as we cleared the bowls and rummaged around for some band aids. Mikey pulled a dining chair to the only window we left open, rifle between his skinny legs and flashlight in hand.

“…so you reckon you’ll be able to use the rifle tomorrow?” Helena asked me as I peeled the bandages off my arm.

“Hopefully.” I stretched my sore muscles out in front of me, hearing a satisfying click of my elbow and feeling the relief in my shoulders. “I keep going stiff from being crammed in the back with those two idiots.”

“Oh shush.” Mikey uttered in response, a hint of laughter in his voice.

I smiled, reaching for one of the duffle bags that had hardly been touched since we left Jersey. “I suppose a change of clothes is really in order, still kinda covered in blood.” I remarked, pulling out various shirts that could belong to any of us.

“Don’t take forever.” Mikey replied.

“When can I take a shower?” Helena piped up. “I mean…I know it’s not priority right now but…”

I left quickly for the bathroom, bundle of clothes in hand, Mikey can answer her questions for a few moments. The bathroom was tiny, I hardly had room to close the door without ending up sat on the sink. As for the dim light, well it cast a soft yellow glow over everything and made my reflection in the mirror look ill.

With Mikey’s remark fresh in my mind I quickly stripped my jeans and boxers off, hoping to hell that I picked up the right size out from the bag, once I had pulled on my jeans again my blood stained shirt was next. I caught sight of my scorpion tattoo in the mirror, I only got it at the start of the summer, kind of a reward for surviving freshman year and my parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about it, I had yet to find out what the school would think of it…assuming we ever went back to school.

“…wonder if I’ll ever see my parents again…” I uttered to my reflection, the pain of not being able to hear my mother’s laugh, see my father’s smile…or just be with them hit me like a freight train. I wondered if they were okay, I wondered if they were worried about me.

My shirt remained in my hand, my arms shaking as I leaned against the sink. The reality of what was happening kept sinking in little by little, I hadn’t thought much about the ‘what if’s of this entire situation and I didn’t really want to.

The door opened behind me, Mikey’s reflection came into view as he moved to stand next to me. “You alright?” he whispered.

“…I dunno.” I murmured, clenching the porcelain tightly. “I mean…everything’s fucked up, the country is in chaos, I don’t know if I’m gonna see my parents again…what about your parents and Ray’s, oh god what about Helena she’s only thirteen for fuck-”

Mikey pulled me into a tight hug, a hand on the back of my head as he stroked my back. I wrapped my arms around him instinctively and buried my face in his neck. He didn’t say anything as I breathed heavily against him, I just needed to get my thoughts straight, to calm down, to regain my composure.

“I know.” He uttered. “I know it’s terrifying. I’m scared too…I’m just trying to hide it from Gerard, I don’t want to scare him further.”

 I hummed into his shirt and hugged tighter.

“He’s scared too, that’s why he’s being a colossal asshole when it comes to keeping us safe. I don’t know what’s going to happen, I miss my parents too and I just want things to go back to the way they were before.” He babbled, his voice cracking slightly.

I pulled back and looked at him, he looked lost and confused, a few seconds passed before I eventually found my voice. “…well…I guess all we can do is just survive…just like Gerard said.”

He nodded. “Ah shit I gotta get back on watch.”

I smiled again, pulling him quickly into a hug and burying my face in his shirt one last time before gesturing for him to leave. “I’ll be out in a sec.” I told him.

Once I was alone again in the bathroom I sighed heavily and put my shirt on. My arm had stopped throbbing and it was healing pretty quickly, there was an ugly scab over most of the bite mark, maybe I’d be able to cover it up with a tattoo once this was all over.

Helena had fallen asleep on the floor next to Ray’s couch, Mikey had returned to the chair by the window, I wasn’t that tired so I decided to join him.

“We haven’t actually seen any in a while.” I whispered.

“No…that’s worries me.” He replied.

“How do you think it started?”

He thought for a few moments, his knees bobbing up and down and making the rifle shift rapidly. “I’m thinking it’s some kind of disease…not like the flu but something like a tumour.”

“How would it spread?”

He shrugged. “I reckon it started at that medical research lab south of the city. It spread like wildfire and just…yeah.”

“…what do you think…happens? Like you mentioned how they weren’t quite _dead_ but they’re not alive either…”

There was moonlight tonight, it illuminated the empty street and cast shadows that seemed endless. “I think it turns them insane.” He stated, not particularly bothered at the morbid topic. “I think that whatever it is taps into the brain and kinda destroys them from the inside out.”

I made a grossed-out face, he chuckled. “Kinda like…half-life? Only keeping them alive?”

“I was thinking more…the last of us, you know like the clickers.”

I nodded, we really needed to get out a bit more. I was about to continue speculating what we were facing when he suddenly pulled the rifle up into his hands and stared down the barrel. My eyes flew to the street, I hadn’t heard a single sound from out there so when I saw the figure slowly creeping past us I was slightly stunned.

“…doesn’t seem aware of our presence.” I breathed, my hand closing around the knife that had been re-secured to my belt after the attack.

“If I shoot it then who knows what’ll happen.” Mikey murmured.

“I could sneak up on it and take its head off.” I suggested, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t terrified of it despite my knees shaking even as I thought about it.

“…if…if you really want to try that.” He uttered. “I’ll keep it in my sights so I can back you up if I need to.”

With nothing else needing to be said I carefully lifted myself out of the window, the grass was damp with the overnight dew that had fallen and I only had the moonlight to guide me. My hand found the knife and clutched it tightly, there was no way I was going to let it slip out of my grasp this time. My footsteps were muffled by the grass as I made my way to the sidewalk, the figure was still making its way slowly down the road, as far as I could tell both by sight and sound there wasn’t any others around.

The distance between us closed quickly and quietly, my chest thudded with my heart and my palms were sweaty. I bit my lip as I paused for a second; watching it move slowly and silent between the shadows.

“…you can do this…” I breathed to myself, checking behind me and glancing at the open window, I could make out the barrel of the rifle poking out which gave me some confidence.

I stepped out into the road, making as little noise as my sneakers could, and lined myself up with it. It occurred to me that it takes a fair amount of force to behead someone, the spinal cord wasn’t easily severed by a knife. With little option I just went for it, poising myself to take it off in one swing as I closed the remaining gap on us.

The blade cut through skin and muscle easily, it struck the bone and stopped abruptly. A hand clenched around my arm, I ripped the knife from the body and kicked its legs out from underneath it. Without a second thought I just drove the blade through the eye socket. Blood coated my hand and splattered on my shirt, the body writhed beneath me for a few seconds as I withdrew my blade.

When the body went limp I sighed. There was this unsettling feeling inside of me, the fact that my fight or flight instinct kicked in and I acted without thought kind of scared me. After checking that there were no more of them around I made me way back to the window and heaved myself inside, collapsing with a heavier sigh on the floor, blood drying and heart racing.

“You scare me sometimes.” Mikey whispered after a few moments of silence.

“I scare myself.”

“I’ll get you a wash cloth.”

I nodded, letting my eyes slip shut as I led on the floor. I heard him return and then felt his hand take mine, carefully wiping each bloody finger and my arm, I didn’t expect to feel the delicate touch to my cheek. My eyes shot open in surprise and he froze.

“S-Sorry, you just had blood…” he stammered.

“It’s okay, I don’t know how much…I just got so caught up in the moment…” I hurriedly replied.

He finished wiping the blood off and I sat up, the shirt I was wearing was practically ruined and I couldn’t be bothered to walk to the bathroom to change again. I shoved the shirt into the bag and pulled another out, as I turned around whilst unfolding it I caught Mikey’s eye.

“What?” I asked.

“…you have blood on your chest, it must’ve soaked through.” He whispered, beckoning me over to the window. Once I could actually see my own skin I saw the spatter of blood, before I could even say anything Mikey had the washcloth and was wiping it off me, my skin broke out in goosebumps as he slowly dabbed at my stomach. If any of the others had woken up I don’t know what they would’ve thought.

“…done.” He uttered, pausing for a moment and biting his lip. I raised an eyebrow and put my shirt on.

“Maybe you should get some sleep.” I suggested, taking the cloth from him and throwing it on top of one of the boxes. “I’ve hardly done anything today.”

“Apart from ruthlessly murder a zombie.” He remarked with a small smile.

“…well…that was for the greater good.”

He shook his head but handed me the rifle all the same. “I’ll just sleep by the window.” He said, sitting a few inches next to where the dining chair was positioned. “I sleep better sat up anyway.”

I nodded, watching him wrap his hoodie around himself and slouch against the wall. Then I became the only one awake, the sounds of slow and heavy breathing filled the room, it was oddly peaceful, if we weren’t fighting to survive then I would’ve probably slouched next to Mikey and slept the rest of the night away. I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with waking up next to him.

I slapped myself for letting my mind wander like that, I ignored the heat in my cheeks and the slight skip of my heart. Stress and fatigue was doing weird things to my head…yeah…that was it…just stress and fatigue.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After that long-ass week of college I'm ready to sleep for 5 days.

** Seven **

** Gerard **

_'No one should have to die that fast'_

“So now we’ll avoid any more bites.” Helena declared, cutting the duct tape roll from Mikey’s arm. “I’d like to see something bite through duct tape.”

I raised an eyebrow, I was surprised that none of us had thought of wrapping our arms in tape, then again it wasn’t really something you’d imagine using it for.

“As long as your elbow and shoulder joints aren’t taped up then you should still be able to move.” Ray continued, examining Mikey’s reinforced arm with interest. “Clever, where’d you pick that idea up from?”

Helena shrugged. “I just kind of thought of it when I woke up…I think maybe looking at Frank’s wound last night got me thinking.”

I liked the idea, we had plenty of tape anyway so we set about wrapping our arms up, tight enough so it protected us but loose enough so that we didn’t cut off the blood circulation, and of course leaving our joints free to move. It made me feel a little bit safer. Frank would have to wait until his wound properly healed on his arm before he could tape it up but at least we could prevent his other arm ending up the same way.

When Mikey and Frank told us what had happened during the night I nearly yelled at them for being reckless, we had the rifle for a reason there was no need for Frank to risk getting himself mauled to death. The only reason I didn’t yell at the two of them was that Frank would’ve probably kicked off and I didn’t want to cause the rift between us to grow, plus they were both alive and the only casualties of the incident was a bloodied shirt and the zombie.

“So Pete wants us in Oklahoma when exactly?” Ray asked as I loaded the truck, the sun was steadily rising but there was a chill in the air which made me shiver slightly.

“He didn’t say, he just wants me to call him when we get there.” Mikey replied almost pitifully. It must be hard for him to wonder what his best friend was going through, I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay, Pete’s a survivor.” I said.

“I don’t know who exactly this Patrick dude is…but he’s in a bad way apparently.”

Helena had been on lookout whilst we loaded the truck up and I had no idea what Frank was doing, we were just about ready to go when we still couldn’t find him. I sent Mikey to fetch him, when several minutes passed I went to go look for them myself, cursing the two of them under my breath as I searched the house.

The bathroom door was closed and I could hear muttering from the other side, curious but not wanting to just burst in, I leaned against the door and tried to listen for what they were talking about.

“…I’m scared…I’m scared Mikey.” Frank’s distressed voice cracked. “I just lost control and…I _did_ that, I can still see the blood on my hands and hear the squelch of its eye-”

“Shh…it’s okay.” My brother’s calmer voice replied. “Just try to block it out, what you did was horrific yeah but you did it to protect us…it’s okay Frankie.”

I felt like I had intruded, it also made me feel like I hadn’t realised what we’ve been through. Sure we haven’t fought off thousands of hordes like you do in video games but killing twenty zombies in real life has its consequences, mainly emotional and mental tolls. I hadn’t actually single-handedly killed one like Frank has, I guessed I hadn’t thought to question how torn up he might be.

“H-How do we tell Gee? I-I can’t keep going on like this.” Frank was sobbing, I had only seen him probably cry once since I met him and it wasn’t a pretty sight. “He’ll just tell me it’s survival of the fittest or something.”

That kind of hurt to hear, I was about to retreat back outside when Mikey spoke again.

“He’ll understand. He’s not a fucking robot, he just wants to keep us safe and yeah okay he seems very controlling but we’re all brothers to him, with the way this is all going we could be the only family we all have left. He wants to keep that family as close as possible and keep us alive…” he murmured, I imagined he was holding Frank very tightly right now. “It’ll come across as him being an asshole but it’s really just tough love.”

I found myself nodding, Mikey understood what I was trying to do. I realised that if they found me outside the bathroom then they’d be less than impressed so I quickly made my way back to Ray and Helena, explaining that the two of them needed some time alone. Helena was a little confused, Ray was unfazed by this pretty normal behaviour from the two of them.

When they eventually got outside I could see immediately that Frank had been crying, his eyes were red and puffy although his face was void of any emotion. I volunteered to drive and give Ray a rest, Helena returned to the back seat but Frank asked to remain in the centre seat, I didn’t question it. With the new plan of getting ourselves to Oklahoma meaning Ray had to re-examine the map I drove slowly.

The silence in the truck prompted me to try and find a radio station, most of the pretuned channels were static and yielded no information, I pressed every single button that could impact it in any way possible, longing for another voice if nothing else.

“ _The entire East coast is in crisis, the mass violence has resulted in the deaths of thousands and countless others are missing. The authorities are overrun with the situation and states of emergency have been declared._ ” The host babbled, I couldn’t tell if this was pre-recorded or not but at least it was information. “ _The president is unable to comment at this time, it is thought that him and his family are being taken to a safe location. Residents in the following states should stockpile supplies and remain indoors until further notice; Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Tennessee, Kentucky and Alabama. Michigan residents should also prepare themselves although there is reduced risk to them at this-_ ” they stopped midsentence before continuing.

“ _…breaking news…Ohio and Indiana have declared states of emergency, mass violence and…death have been reported. Fires have spread through towns and cities in eastern Ohio, residents are urged to evacuate as soon as possible and to leave all unnecessary valuables behind._ ”

I glanced at Ray as I clenched the steering wheel. Evacuate? There was no-one around to evacuate, who the hell were they talking to?

“…it must’ve been recorded.” He uttered. “Question is how long ago was it recorded?”

I sighed and slouched in the seat, this wasn’t good. If the radio stations were broadcasting pre-recorded reports…just how quickly was this spreading? How was it spreading anyway? What was going on?

“Yo Gee, focus on the road. We’re about to get familiar with some farmer’s crops.” Ray remarked.

I snapped back into reality, I glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Frank’s eye, instead of the glares I had been getting the past few days I got a fearful expression. I eased off the accelerator and let the truck roll to a stop on the side of the road. We were in the middle of nowhere.

“Everyone out, we need to talk about this.” I ordered. It took a few moments for us to all sit in the cargo hold of the truck, I sat on top the cab and the others perched on the sides with the crates between us all. Clouds were gathering overhead but there didn’t seem to be any threat of rain.

“So…what?” Mikey asked, I noticed he had an arm around Frank who had a solemn look on his face.

“Well we need to make sure we’re all on the same page.” I stated. “I mean, I haven’t been speaking to you three…I’ve only really clued Ray in on my thinking…and even then I haven’t been totally ‘there’.” 

“So what have you been thinking?” Helena asked, leaning forward in interest.

“Well we should head for the coast, just try to outrun the chaos…link up with Pete and Patrick, and just get the hell out of America.” I told them. “Or at least that’s the general idea.”

They all nodded, Frank just stared at the floor. “And what if that doesn’t work?” he asked, his tone was emotionless, genuinely curious rather than poking holes in my ideas.

“…then we head north. All the zombie lore says that they wouldn’t survive the cold as effectively.” I replied. “Ignoring the last of us anyway.” He seemed satisfied with that answer. So I moved on to the other pressing matter. “Now about weapons, what do we have and how effective are we at using them?”

Ray was the first to speak. “We have the hunting rifle which Mikey seems pretty confident with. Then we have the assault rifle that we’re only using in emergencies, and Frank’s knife that he’s lethal with.”

“We got ammo for both rifles but we should probably move to bats and axes, just because of sound contamination and the fact they don’t need ammo.” Mikey added.

I agreed, although it was slightly riskier. “So we have a knife…we need to find some blunt or sharp objects.”

“So do we loot a house or what?” Helena asked.

“When we stop for the night we should loot wherever we stay, even make our own if we have to.” Ray answered, looking up to the darkening sky. “But I think we should get moving, it looks like it’s gonna rain.”

He made a good point. “Well if we’re done…we might as well get on the road again.”

“Actually Gee, there is something else.” Mikey said as I moved to jump off the truck.

“What?”

He looked expectantly to Frank who was caught slightly off guard, after a few seconds of muttering between them Frank finally spoke.

“…um…well…” he stammered, not really looking at me. “…about the hand-to-hand combat…”

“Yeah?” I asked, keeping my voice soft.

“…I don’t…after last night I don’t want to have to…” he seemed quite stressed about getting his point across but he kept pausing and rubbing his face. I felt bad but I gestured for him to continue.

“Come on Frankie…you need to tell him.” Mikey whispered, tightening his hold on Frank.

“I’m scared Gerard.” He blurted out. “I’ve had two bloody encounters in a short time frame.” His hands had clenched into fists again, it seemed to be a reoccurring thing. “What if I’m not so lucky next time? What if I miss the chance? What if I get us killed?”

He broke down, I was kind of shocked he was this broken. Mikey looked to me for any response and for a moment I was unsure of what to even say.

“Frank, we’re in this together…we’ll look out for each other, we’ll protect each other.” I said. “I know it’s the most cliché thing ever but it’s true.” I tried not to let on that I had overheard them earlier in the bathroom. “Nothing like that will happen, I promise.”

**~*~**

We came across a horde for the first time since we left Jersey. For a moment I forgot I was driving and we nearly careered off the side of the road, Mikey’s quick trigger finger downed two of them within seconds, Ray popped the sun roof open and grabbed the assault rifle. Helena was lost and Frank put his head in his hands as the deafening gunfire continued around us. I battled to keep the truck under control, the wheels locked up and we ended up drifting with the ties screeching.

“Fuck.” I cursed as the engine died, my fingers fumbled with the keys.

Mikey was reloading faster than I had ever seen him reload, I could hear bodies falling, groans and shrieks of pain from the horde.

“Gerard hurry up, they’re beginning to charge.” Ray called from above me.

A thud rocked the truck followed by another, I didn’t look out the window but I knew there was something pressed up against it. The keys finally turned and the engine roared into life, I slammed the accelerator down and spun the wheel around, tires screeching again as we took off like a bat out of hell.

I was panting as my foot drove the pedal into the floor, the speedometer climbed quickly. Ray was back in the passenger seat, his hair stuck up and windstruck.

“…too close.” He sighed. “What even happened?”

“I-I don’t know. The wheels just stopped responding and then I think it stalled. I panicked and couldn’t get it going again.”

“Is everyone okay?” Ray asked the others in the back. “Helena? Frank?”

“…yeah…yeah I’m okay.” Helena murmured.

“…my head hurts.” Frank uttered.

I swallowed as I scanned the land in front of us, just endless fields. No towns in sight. Even with weapons we barely made it out of there alive, it didn’t give me much hope. My arms shook slightly as I glued my eyes to the open road, I wanted to find Pete soon, we couldn’t keep going like this.

“Gerard.” Helena murmured.

“Yeah?”

“…I…Frank’s gone really pale.”

I glanced in the mirror, he was hunched over with his hands still on his head. I wanted to pull over, I really did but I was spotting more and more zombies on the edge of the road as we went on. It was still spreading and there was no way in hell I was going to put them at risk any more than I had to, the only thing I kept an eye on was the fuel gauge as I pushed the truck to its maximum speed.

I ran a hand through my hair, clenching at the long black strands. The truck’s cruise control took the strain off my feet as we hurtled down dirt roads. Ray told me whenever we needed to turn off or in some cases drive through fields to get to certain roads, it was quiet inside but not silent. Helena kept talking, telling us about family vacations she had been on, Ray kept talking back, keeping at least some form of conversation going so we weren’t sat in silence.

The other two kept to themselves, glances in the mirrors revealed they were wrapped in a comforting embrace, I heard the odd mutter or hushed whisper from them but I decided to leave them be. We all needed to be alone with our thoughts sometimes.

“Where are we anyway?” Helena asked, she had just finished listening to Ray tell her about the time we stole some shopping carts and had impromptu races down a steep hill near Frank’s house.

“We’re heading towards the border with Kentucky.” I told her. “We’ll just be dipping in and then we’re going into Indiana.”

“We’re basically making a diagonal line to Oklahoma, we’ll be going in and out of different states for the next few days.” Ray explained. “We’re hoping that there aren’t any road blocks or closures.”

“But surely they’d help us?” she asked, I squeezed the steering wheel and sighed.

“…we’ve been in contact with… _them_ …it’s hard to admit but I wouldn’t put it past them to just shoot us on the spot.”  I murmured, casting a glance at Frank’s small body in my brother’s arms. “Or…at least Frank anyway.”

“Why Frank?”

“Because he got bitten.” Ray whispered, we didn’t want Frank waking up if he was asleep.

“So?”

“The authorities won’t take any risks. If they know he’s been in physical contact, especially one where infection could spread, then they will probably kill him.”

“Oh..”

“It’s the widely-accepted method of dealing with it. Think of it like rabies.” Ray continued. “If you can’t cure the dog with the disease then you kill it to stop it spreading. That’s how they’ll view this situation.”

“So they’ll kill Frank?”

I glanced in the mirror again, Frank was shaking slightly and Mikey was stroking his back comfortingly.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” I declared. “They’ll have to kill me first.”

Ray looked at me with a curious gaze but said nothing. “We should find somewhere to stop.” He said.

I nodded. We drove for another hour before I saw a building come into view, we pulled up close to it. At first it looked like a traditional farmhouse which would make sense, it was surrounded by fields for a start. When I looked at it though I felt this odd shiver run down my spine, the wooden frame was falling apart, the windows were all smashed, I felt slightly apprehensive about this place.

“…it’s too dark for us to try and find a different place.” I sighed as Ray and I stood looking at the structure. “You think it’s safe?”

“Probably safer than the truck…” he murmured. “And considering the state that Frank’s in, I don’t think we really have a choice.”

I grabbed the assault rifle and a flashlight. “Well we should check it’s empty first.”

Ray nodded, we instructed the others to stay with the truck whilst we made sure the building was void of any zombies. The front door opened without a hitch, I shone the flashlight through the small opening, it was dusty and it seemed to not have been lived in for quite some time. I beckoned Ray to check what seemed to be a dining room whilst I checked the lounge.

We met at a staircase leading up to the floor above, nothing was out of place downstairs so we slowly made our way up to the landing. The floor creaked under each step we took, flashlight beams coasted over walls and furniture, I was about to ask if there was an attic when we heard a scream from outside.

We didn’t need to ask, it was Helena. The floorboards squealed as we ran through the house, knocking over an end table and nearly falling flat on my face in the process. When we got outside I stared at what we found.

Mikey was stood on top of the truck with rifle in hand, Frank was stood in the back clenching his knife as they both stared at the incoming attack from across the fields. Helena turned around to us with terror in her eyes.

“…the fuck…” I uttered, watching Mikey line up a shot. I could see Frank shaking but he stood defiantly.

“Gerard, take the gun, I’ll get the stuff inside.” Ray ordered, shoving the weapon in my hands. “Helena, help me out.”

I snapped into reality, jumping up next to Mikey. “…the house is clear, just hold them off until Ray and Helena are done.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Was the low reply I got as he fired.

I hadn’t properly used an automatic weapon in a while, not for continuous firing anyway. Frank looked to me, I couldn’t quite read his eyes but I gathered he wasn’t about to regret anything he was about to do.

The first few zombies were downed quickly, Mikey’s fingers worked quickly to reload as I took over, headshots were rare but I found that aiming for the legs was just as effective. My ears would be ringing for hours after this and my shoulder would be sore from recoil but I focused on keeping us alive long enough to feel that pain.

“There’s some coming in from the road!” Frank shouted over gunfire, gripping his knife tightly.

Mikey shouted something back in reply but the gun in my hands made too much noise for me to hear. I carried on taking potshots and just stopping as many of them as possible, ignoring the sight of organs and muscles spilling out of bodies that should be six feet in the ground.

The truck bounced, I nearly fell off onto the overgrown grass, Frank had leapt off after something and I had no idea what was going on. Mikey scrambled to find more bullets to load but the ammo crate had been retrieved by Ray so he was basically defenceless.

“Where’s Frank?” He asked as I too ran out of bullets.

“He…” I gestured to the road, we saw a small horde gathering around something. I immediately thought of the worst until I saw each of them fall, he was still overwhelmed but he was holding his own.

“For fucks sake.” Mikey cussed, reaching to his belt and pulling out another knife.

“Where the fuck did you get that from?” I asked, completely confused at this new addition to our arsenal.

“I’ll explain later.”

With that he took off after Frank, I was about to follow when I heard Helena scream again, more primeval than last time. I looked to the house, zombies were flooding inside. Caught between my brother and my best friend, I was overwhelmed.

I made my choice, running into the building and using the hunting rifle as a battering ram, knocking bodies flying into walls. I had to find them. My first instinct was the kitchen, I thanked the man upstairs that there was a fireaxe in a cupboard, my first swing took out two legs of one of them. I felt empowered.

A pained yell from upstairs gave me an idea where they were. There was blood sprayed everywhere as I hacked at anything that came at me, I’d probably vomit violently later when I recalled all of this but in the heat of the moment I didn’t care about anything but saving Ray, who as far as I knew was without any weapons.

“Gerard!” He called, he was covered in blood and terrified, two things I never associated with Ray Toro.

“Ray!” I called back, burying the axe head into a skull with strength I didn’t realise I had.

“I can’t find Helena!” he shouted as he was thrown to the ground.

I dragged the axe from the skull it had been embedded in and swung at the zombie pinning him to the ground. “Here’s Gerard!” I exclaimed as its head came away with a snap and a splatter of blood.

“Never do that again.” Ray muttered as I helped him up. “This isn’t the Shining.”

I rolled my eyes. “Where was Helena before all this happened?”

“Uh…downstairs…the back room.”

We took off at a run for the second time in half an hour. We reached the back room on the ground floor and I nearly did vomit. Blood coated everything, Ray took the axe from me and went at the group of…feasting zombies. I could only watch in horror as I realised that I hadn’t heard Helena since entering the house and if this was where she was last seen…

The house fell silent. I heard footsteps behind me, a hand gently rested on my shoulder. “Gee, Frank’s hurt real bad.”

“…I…” was all I could say as Ray examined the body at the bottom of the pile. His hands came away bloody and shaking, his face was utter shock.

“…she’s…they…” he breathed, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he clenched at his hair.

I stared at Ray and then looked to my brother, Mikey was relatively unscathed, a few nasty gashes on his face and neck but the duct tape had done it’s job of protecting his arms, apart from being covered in blood and god knew what else; he was perfectly fine, he didn’t seem that fazed by what he had just walked into.

“Gee…if she’s gone, she’s gone.” He uttered.

“Don’t you care that she’s dead?” I exploded, whirling around and staring at him.

“Not when my best friend is in danger of dying from blood loss.” He snapped, making for the first aid kit. “Now are you going to help me or not?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just had a shit ton of work dumped on me due in for next week so I apologise if the next update is a little late, I do have to put my college work ahead of fanfiction unfortunately :'( but at least I know that when it is updated it won't be rushed and horrendously edited!  
> So yeah, apologies in advanced and thanks for reading!

** Eight **

** Frank **

_'I could see your face, I could hear your voice...'_

My vision was fucked, everything was blurry; it would sharpen enough for me to see the amber sun sinking behind a cluster of trees for two seconds before back to blur central. I lay on my side a few steps away from the bodies, my knife was still in my hand, more blood than blade. My arms were on fire, my head was pounding and my side felt like there was something gnawing at it from the inside.

“God fucking dammit Iero.” I muttered, seeing Mikey approaching from the blurred building.

“I’m here, it’s okay.” He babbled, hands shaking as he touched my forehead. “You’re not burning up too much.”

“Mikey…we need to get inside…” I breathed, my side stinging in pain as he applied pressure.

“Not until I’ve stopped your guts spilling out.”

“What?” I hadn’t thought it was that bad.

“I’m kidding, lie still though, you’ve caught yourself with a blade.” He found some wadding and medical tape and went to work. “It’s a clean cut but I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I huffed against the dirt, my head buzzed from the adrenaline and who knows what else. I wondered why Gerard and Ray weren’t coming to my aid, then again who knew what had happened after I jumped off the truck.

“Okay, brace yourself.”

“For what?”

He rolled me onto my back, I cried out as my side burned, ‘clean cut’ my ass. His face came into view as he took in the damage to my face and neck, his own injuries seemed to not bother him until I reached up to wipe a small trickle of blood away from a gash on his face.

“Stop it.” He told me. “I’ll sort myself out later.”

“Mikey come on.” I complained, squeezing my eyes shut as he wiped at my face with an anti-septic wipe. “Get us inside, we can see to the others and it’ll be okay. I’m sure Helena can help yo-”

“She’s gone.” He blurted out, slapping my hands down. “They couldn’t…they didn’t reach her.”

I stared at him, no, she couldn’t be…

“She was…mauled...” He murmured, pausing in his actions and sitting back almost as if he hadn’t let it sink in yet.

I slowly sat up, ignoring my headache and the burning pain that flared up. He stared at the dirt and then to the bodies we had completely massacred.

“…are you okay?” I asked. It seemed like such a stupid question but someone had to ask him sooner or later.

“…no.” he ran his bloody and dusty hands through his hair and tugged at the brown strands. “I’m not…I want…I want things to go back to normal.” He broke into sobs.

Despite the pain I pulled him into a hug, he howled and wept in my hold, body shaking and fingers now clenching around my shoulders. I wasn’t sure what he was crying over exactly, he hadn’t seemed that close to Helena, maybe it was what she represented, maybe he missed how life used to be. Maybe it was that she was so young and that her life was ripped from her so soon, we had lived a full three years longer than her and that thought made me feel like my guts _had_ spilt out of me.

“…it’s okay.” I whispered, stroking the back of his head. The sun was setting quickly and I really wanted to get inside but I wouldn’t get there without his help.

“No it’s not.” He choked out. “I…I…what if it had been you?”

I wasn’t expecting that. “It wasn’t me though.” I told him. “I’m still here Mikey, I’m a stubborn bastard remember?”

He coughed out a laugh, the referral to one of our first conversations hopefully bringing him out of hysterics.

“Mikey…Mikey Way…” I said, pulling his face level with mine, I could see the fear and confusion in his expression. “I’m here. I’m alive. You’re here. You’re alive.”

He sniffed and nodded in my hold. “We’re both alive.” He confirmed.

“Let’s get inside before something changes that.”

He nodded again and helped me up, collecting both our knives as I leaned heavily on him. My legs both worked miraculously, he helped me inside and put me on a dusty couch. I stared at the blood and the bodies that were being shoved into the back room by Ray. I almost didn’t want to ask.

“…where did she…” I whispered to Mikey as he found more wipes to sort out his own cuts.

“Back room. They’re gonna bury her out front but as for the rest…” he gestured to Ray dragging another bundle of curtains which contained limbs and god knew what else. He looked shell-shocked to say the least but I didn’t say anything to him.

“Where’s Gerard?”

Mikey shrugged. “He kinda went into shock once he saw her.”

I bit my lip, no doubt this would backfire like fuck. I lay down on the couch and tried to ignore the dull throbbing from my body. I wasn’t sure what I felt, Helena must’ve been terrified, all alone in her final moments. All she wanted to do was survive and see her parents again, we promised her we’d look after her, Gerard promised that we’d all protect each other…what happened…it wasn’t meant to play out this way.

**~*~**

I fell asleep quickly, I didn’t mean to but when no-one was talking to each other then it was only a matter of time before my body gave up the fight to stay awake. The couch was bigger than most which would explain why I hadn’t stirred when Mikey had led down next to me.

My eyes took a few moments to properly adjust to the darkness I woke up in, a table lamp was plugged in and placed on the floor in the centre of the room, it let off enough light for me to see but not enough to be spotted from the outside. I didn’t really want to move as my body was still groggy from sleep and hadn’t woken up enough to cause me pain, so I just led with Mikey’s sleeping body, he had been crying again.

I eased myself backwards slightly to give me more breathing space, within seconds of me doing that he shuffled slightly closer, burying his face in my dirty shirt. With little else to do I draped an arm over him, pulling him even closer. It was surprisingly cold, then again all the windows were smashed or blown out so the house was at the mercy of the elements. At least Mikey gave off some heat so I didn’t end up shivering from the chill.

In the silence I found it easy to fall asleep again, waking up when the first few streaks of sunlight started streaming through the window frames. Mikey stirred next to me, my arm was still around him and we were practically touching noses. The morning breath was horrendous.

“Jesus Christ Frank…” he whispered, scrunching up his nose.

“You can’t say much.” I replied, regarding his glossy brown eyes in the morning light. “…and what the hell are you doing snuggling up to me eh?” I asked jokingly.

He blushed slightly but chuckled. “I was told to stay with you, Ray tried to get Gerard to go to sleep but he wanted to stay on watch, so it was either sleep alone or sleep…” he trailed off, cheeks going a darker shade of pink as I just raised an eyebrow.

“If only the idiots at school knew.”

“Knew what?”

I rolled my eyes and hit my head against the back of the couch. “That we slept together.” I said with a smirk.

“Not like that Frank!” he exclaimed, a mixture of embarrassment and horror on his face. “and you know they’d kill us.”

“Would they though?”

He didn’t say anything to that, he just did a goldfish impression for a few seconds, his cheeks still flushed as he sighed.

“We should find the others.” I said, my stomach was churning from lack of food and the pain I was in.

“Y-Yeah.”

I eased myself to sit up, my side burned but wasn’t too bad. My headache wasn’t too bad either. Ray had moved the boxes of supplies near the couch so I didn’t even need to get up, I just had to lean on Mikey’s skinny legs and not fall off.

“Geez don’t mind me then.” He complained as I rummaged around for something instant to eat.

“I won’t. You were the one who joined me here, not the other way around.” I flashed him a tired grin, which he returned with a middle finger accompanying it.

Everything in the box required hot water or some kind of cooking, I rolled my eyes and led back down next to Mikey. My stomach growled in protest.

“Lazy.” He uttered.

“Speak for yourself.”

“I’m not hungry.”

I glared at him, he glared back, we both ended up laughing it off. The first time I had laughed since it had started. It was enough to attract Gerard’s attention, he seemed even more out of it than that time he stayed up for three days straight during Spring break.

“Hey Gee…you’ve been awake all night haven’t you?” Mikey asked, staring at his brother.

“Nope…I couldn’t sleep…not after that.” He sighed. “Ray’s asleep though, I reckon we can afford to stay here today and recover from what happened.”

I wasn’t about to disagree with that, I was still in pain both from my injuries and still coming to terms with Helena’s death. The thought of burying what was left of her later today made my chest hurt, I rubbed my eyes and pushed my head against Mikey’s chest.

“…if you reckon so.” Mikey replied, gently running his hands through my hair. “Is there a working shower here or anything?”

“I’ll check…I suppose we could all do with a shower…”

I heard Gerard leave, Mikey continued running fingers through my hair which was getting greasier by the day, he didn’t seem to mind, then again his hair was just as bad. I hummed lightly as my body relaxed, still aching from yesterday’s wounds but comfortable at least.

“I should check your bandages on your side.” He murmured after a period of silence between us.

“But that requires moving.” I uttered, burying my face in his shirt. “And I don’t wanna move.”

I had no idea why I was being so clingy all of a sudden, I guess Helena’s death made me realise how much worse things could be…how close we came to losing more than one soul last night. He sighed and hugged me tightly. I think he was feeling the same way, suddenly everything he said about this being the only family we have left was becoming all too real.

“Seriously though Frank.”

I sighed dramatically, flinging my arms back in a ‘damsel in distress’ pose. “If you must.”

Mikey laughed so hard that he rolled off the couch, I couldn’t stop laughing either for a good five minutes. I wondered where the hell Gerard had gotten to but it wasn’t really important in that moment. We finally got around to checking my side wound; I took the ripped shirt off and discarded it onto the floor whilst Mikey found our dwindling stock of medical supplies.

“Sheesh, I didn’t think we’d go through this much shit.” He complained as he regarded the lack of bandages in the box. “We have enough barely, as long as none of us get any worse.”

I nodded, bracing myself for the onslaught of pain that would ensue once he started taking the bandages off. “As long as no stitching has to be done we’ll be good right?” I asked, his fingers ghosting over the tape securing the dressing in place.

“…I guess.” His tone didn’t fill me with much confidence. Cold air touched the previously covered skin and I inhaled deeply, the cut was open and it was stinging.

“…Jesus…” I hissed, blinking rapidly, tucking both hands under my head so not to instinctively clasp them over the cut.

“Hold still.” He whispered, one hand reaching up to my cheek to try and calm me down as the other poked the inflamed skin around the wound.

I shut my eyes, not wanting to see what he was doing and just focused on his soft fingers against my cheek. Without realising at first I covered his hand with mine, effectively trapping his hand there.

“…hmm…I can’t tell if I’d need to stitch this up or not.” He said. “It seems to be healing…it’s just gonna take its sweet ass time.”

I nodded, still keeping my eyes shut.

“Frankie I need my hand back if I’m going to recover this wound.” He remarked, my eyes flashing open and feeling myself blush.

“Y-Yeah sure.” I stuttered, releasing his hand quickly.

He had just finished rebwrapping my side when Gerard reappeared, after a few seconds of Way-telepathy in which I led on the couch shirtless and very confused, he finally spoke.

“So we have running water, I reckon this place has its own supply that wasn’t used up before it was abandoned.” He explained, I noticed he kept his gaze off me and more on his brother and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “I went into the cellar, which is a mess by the way, and it’s pretty full. I think we can all take a decent shower and properly sort ourselves out y’know?”

Mikey nodded throughout his explanation. “Sure. Is Ray awake yet?”

Gerard shook his head. “I checked in on him and he’s still asleep. I don’t have the heart to wake him…he was closest to Helena after all, I think we should just let him rest as long as he needs.”

“So who’s gonna take the first shower then?” I asked, easing myself to sit up.

“Not you, I just reapplied your bandages and I don’t want you getting them wet yet.” Mikey replied. “Gee why don’t you take it? You can get some sleep afterwards.”

“What and leave you two on watch again?” the older Way remarked, folding his arms.

Mikey and I looked at each other before shrugging. “Yeah why not?” I asked.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “…if you insist.”

He walked out of the room again, I raised an eyebrow at Mikey. “Your brother is weird.”

“Let’s drop it.” He sighed. “I’m gonna get changed and find the rifle. We are on watch after all.”

I watched him pack up the first aid kit and go off in search of clothing. My side still hurt and made me wish that I had asked him if we had any painkillers. No doubt we’d have to stop off somewhere and raid a store which I wasn’t looking forward to.

Sick of half-lying on the couch, I slowly stood up and stretched my aching body, joints clicked and popped slightly and the duct tape stubbornly stuck to me. I peeled it off slowly, trying not to take off my skin with it, thankfully the sweat that my body produced whilst Mikey saw to my wound made it easier to do so. I left the tape on top of the crate and walked over to the broken window, a gentle breeze stirred outside and washed over the long dried grass that surrounded the house. Along with the breeze came the stench of rotting corpses, my stomach growled in protest of not being fed, I was slightly thankful for that as it made it harder to vomit over the sight of the bodies strewn across the field.

My hand pressed on the bandage as I looked to the pile of corpses near the road, I was lying out there yesterday amongst them, the blood and guts of innocent people driven insane by this weird…virus? Disease? I didn’t even know. I felt a hand on my shoulder, soft fingers lightly dug into my skin.

“Sup?” I asked, turning to Mikey.

“What are you staring at?” he asked.

“Just the carnage from yesterday.” I replied, gesturing to the pile of bodies. “It’s beginning to stink a bit.”

Mikey wrinkled his nose and nodded. “Well hopefully we won’t stick around here too long.”

We watched over the field in silence for a while, I was about to ask what time it was when we heard footsteps on the stairs, we both turned around to see a sleepy Ray step into the room.

“Alright Toro?” Mikey asked, his hand leaving my shoulder.

“Suppose…god it stinks.” The puffy-haired one replied.

“That would be the bodies.” I said.

He nodded slightly, collapsing onto the couch with a sigh. “Where’s Gee?”

“Showering and then he’s gonna sleep.” Mikey gestured in the direction of the bathroom. “You can go next, Frank and I are on watch.”

“Speaking of which, shouldn’t you be in the dining room? That’s got the best view of the road and the fields?” I suggested.

Heeding my suggestion he nodded and left me in the lounge with Ray. I decided that putting a shirt on would be the best thing to do whilst the older male just sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“Talk to me Ray.” I said, slipping on one of Mikey’s shirts and sitting next to him. “Don’t bottle it up man, just say what’s on your mind.”

He smiled weakly at me. “Can’t believe she’s gone.”

“…so what happened? I was too busy nearly getting killed myself.” I wanted to try and keep this conversation light given the circumstances.

His smile faded, he leaned his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face with his hands. “We had just finished getting the crates inside, I told her to secure the backdoor whilst I looked around for a weapon to help you guys out.” He told me, staring at a blood stain on the floor as he wrung his hands. “I went upstairs hoping that there would be something I could use. Before I knew it they were everywhere, they must’ve slipped in or something. I fought so many of them off without thinking about it. I heard her scream and then Gerard appeared.”

He started shaking, his hands white as he clasped them together tightly. “We got down here and they were _feasting_ on her Frank…Gerard just stood there in shock and I took the axe from him and tried to get to her but by the time I got rid of them…”

I placed a hand on his back and slowly rubbed as he trailed off. There was a gnawing feeling inside me, I should be just as torn up but I wasn’t, I guess I just viewed her as a poor victim of this apocalypse and nothing more.

“She was dead but her body was still warm.” He choked out. “Her blood was still warm…her eyes open…”

I ignored the pain in my side and just pulled him into a tight hug, he broke into sobs. I didn’t want to imagine how it felt to see that. He clung to my arm as he sobbed, it was weird to see fearless Ray Toro like this, I was the emotional one of the group with Mikey in close second so to have the one who normally keeps his emotions in check sobbing into my shoulder…it was weird. Then again during the freaking end of the world anything is plausible.

“It’ll be okay Ray…” I said, trying to make myself believe it too, the evidence was stacking against us even now.

“How many more people have to die?” he croaked. “Why is this happening?”

That question again; why, how, what…none of us had answers and there wasn’t any hope of getting any.

“I don’t know Ray…I honestly don’t know.”

He stopped crying after a few more minutes, his eyes puffy and red. My stomach growled again and I scowled. I really needed to eat soon.

“Crap I should be sorting food out.” Ray cursed, hearing my stomach’s protest.

“Nah don’t worry about it. Besides, Gerard should be done in the shower soon and I’ve been forbidden to shower yet by Mikey.”

He smiled slightly. “…that’s Mikey for you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Don’t worry.”

Before I could pursue it further Gerard returned with a towel around his neck, straggly black hair still damp and bruises forming on his pale arms. “Shower’s all yours Toro.” He declared.

Ray gave me another smile before making his way upstairs, Gerard saw my confused expression and asked what was wrong.

“Just something Ray said…” I murmured, rubbing the back of my neck, the gnawing hunger was beginning to annoy me so I seized this opportunity to dive into the crate of supplies. “And now you’re going to help me make food.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally should be doing my coursework right now but I just couldn't bring myself to be late updating this.  
> Expect shorter chapters for a while as I'm trying not to let the story drag out just because I'm stressed out about other stuff...and yeah sorry if I do run late with updates!

** Nine **

** Gerard **

_'That wretched day of grief is so strange to me'_

Burying Helena was an unpleasant task. There wasn’t much left _to_ bury but I put that out of my mind as Mikey finished piling dirt back on the parts of her body we could find. We felt that the least we could do for her now was give her a decent burial.

“Never liked funerals.” Frank uttered next to me.

“Neither have I.” I replied.

We stood there staring at the mound of freshly dug dirt, this time yesterday she was still alive, this time yesterday there were five of us.

“Does anyone want to say anything?” I asked, looking to Ray more than the others.

There was silence for a few moments before he spoke.

“We’re sorry Helena.” He barely whispered. “We’re so sorry.”

It seemed that there was nothing more to say, no amount of apology could bring her back, no amount of tears or cries of frustration could rewind the clock. Frank and Mikey excused themselves first to load the truck for our immediate departure, leaving me and Ray standing there alone.

“Ray, come on.” I said. “We should bid her farewell…”

“It’s all my fault though.”

“No it’s not.” I sighed, moving to place an arm around his shoulders. “In a time of panic you did what you had to…the stakes are high right now. It’s a miracle that we didn’t all die.”

He nodded, rubbing his face with the back of his hand.

“And right now we need to move forward, meet up with Pete and figure out how we’re going to stay alive.” I continued. “So…we need to let her go.”

He knelt down next to the mound and placed a hand on top of it, sighing heavily as he tried to keep his composure. I kept my distance, he needed space after all.

“…I’m so sorry Helena.” He uttered, standing up quickly and walking away quickly. I stood there for a few moments debating my last words to her.

“So long and goodnight.” I muttered, looking up to the cloudy sky, hoping that she was someplace better than this torn apart world.

Mikey and Frank had been quick to load the truck, even with Frank hissing with pain whenever he strained his side. I actually asked my younger brother if he could drive for a little while, Ray wasn’t in any fit state to be let behind the wheel and I wasn’t particularly keen on the idea either.

The truck definitely seemed emptier without her, and a heck of a lot quieter. Frank demanded to ride up front with Mikey so I sat with Ray in the back. The road was deserted, though we saw plenty of lone zombies meandering through fields and along the roadside. I didn’t even react when Frank asked what route we had planned out, neither did Ray and that was what unsettled me most of all.

Ray was always the one with a plan, he always knew what to do, he was the one who we’d vent to and he’d be there for us. I had left my homework until the last minute so many times and he was always there to help me finish it in homeroom. There was nothing that he couldn’t help us with. To see him looking so lost and conflicted wasn’t natural and I was worried what was happening to us.

There was humidity in the air, it was tornado season and we were quickly approaching the infamous tornado alley. I hoped that we’d be fortunate enough to not get caught in a storm, the lack of sleep from the previous night was catching up with me. The surprising smoothness of the drive so far was lulling me slowly to sleep as the sun warmed the inside of the truck.

**~*~**

I was jolted from sleep by the truck screeching to a stop. I looked up bewildered, we were in a built up area and there were raised voices around us. The buildings were battered and bruised, windows smash, doors hanging off hinges, cars lying on their roofs and crushed into each other.

“What…” I uttered groggily.

“We need supplies and shit.” Frank told me as Mikey manoeuvred the truck between stationary cars. “There’s quite a few hordes in this town though so we’ve been weaving through back alleys and-”

He was cut short by a body flying over the hood, bouncing on the roof and falling aside. I looked wide-eyed at the scene speeding past, there were quite a few zombies pursuing us but Mikey just kept his foot down, I glanced at Ray who seemed unfazed by all of this and that in itself worried me further.

“So did you get the supplies?” I asked, the truck bouncing over potholes.

“Some of them, there wasn’t much left.” Frank replied. “Thankfully we aren’t running low on food yet so we don’t have that headache to worry about.”

I nodded, trying not to hit my head on the ceiling as we went over another pothole. Where were we even headed? I wasn’t entirely sure where we were right now.

“Fucking hell.” Mikey snapped, spinning the wheel like crazy in order to avoid an overturned bus that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. My head slammed into the window as we tilted this way and that, Frank turned back around and started firing directions to get out of the area.

I glanced over to Ray again, he gave me a weak smile which did little to comfort me. Part of me wondered why we weren’t trying to kill these sons of bitches but then again we had so little ammo anyway that it would seem a waste. That and we really didn’t need to take any unnecessary risks that could end up with us dead.

“Where are we anyway?” I asked once we had gotten out of immediate danger.

“Missouri.” Mikey replied. “And we’re not stopping anytime soon.”

“How come?”

“Well we’re in the middle of an urban area so there’s gonna be a fuckton of them everywhere we go. I’m not stopping until we reach the outskirts.”

I sat back in the seat, sighing as the moans and groans of anguish kept filtering through the slightly open windows. Ray said nothing, I was really beginning to worry about him. As Mikey and Frank muttered to each other in the front seats I tried to get him to at least tell me why he was being so quiet.

“You’re still beating yourself up about it aren’t you?” I asked. He simply stared at me, I felt guilty for even bringing it up but we couldn’t avoid it forever.

“…yeah.” He whispered, looking out the window at the grey sky. “I just feel like she deserved better.”

“I know, I think she did too…but so did many other people.” I replied. “I’m not saying that we should just forget about it and move on, but I don’t think it’s healthy to dwell on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybe’s either.”

“You’re right…” he sighed, he didn’t sound convinced. “I just can’t help but think that I may have caused it.”

“How?”

“I told her to go and secure the back door, it was the only other weak point of the house and I knew that Gerard.” He was choking back tears as his voice cracked. “I sent her anyway…what was I thinking?”

I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid across the centre seat to him, he was crying now. Frank had turned around to see what the raised voices were about, his concerned eyes spurred me to pull Ray into a tight hug. The truck was void of any conversation as Ray cried into my chest, I felt Frank’s eyes on me still but refused to look at him, I just stared outside as we continued to rumble along the road.

Somehow I fell asleep whilst hugging Ray, the next thing I knew the doors were slamming as Mikey and Frank got out of the truck. It was dark and that immediately set me on edge. Ray seemed to have fallen asleep also but wasn’t quite in the land of the living yet.

“Yo Mikey!” I called.

“What?” he replied on the otherside of the window.

“What’s happening?”

“We’re low on gas again.”

I nodded to myself, wondering if we were actually stopping for the night. Frank just stared out at the darkness, waving the flashlight out into the void in search of movement. I straightened up and slid back into my seat, deciding a few seconds later to get out and stretch my legs whilst I could.

The humidity hit me like a train, we were certainly on the brink of tornado territory from what I knew of the subject. Mikey filled up the truck in silence, the gas station was deserted of course otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped.

“Where the hell are we?” I asked. “And what time is it?”

“We drifted into Arkansas, we’re about three hours from the state border of Oklahoma.” He replied with a tired sigh. “And it’s nearly one am.”

“Why didn’t you stop sooner?”

He looked up from the gas pump. “Well I saw no reason to, Frank and I weren’t tired and we need to get a move on. God knows what Pete is going through.”

Frank appeared next to me, looking slightly disgruntled to say the least. “It’s too quiet.” He uttered.

I raised an eyebrow but immediately picked up on what he was getting at; there was very little, if any, atmospheric noise. The sounds that we were used to in Jersey weren’t present; active highways, mindless chatter, heck even the occasional bug or bird call was lacking.

“There’s not even the sound of any zombies around.” Frank added, gesturing behind us. “And I sure as hell can’t see any.”

He stared at the two of us, wanting a response of some sort. When neither Mikey or I said anything he just sighed and got back into the truck, slamming the door shut. I winced slightly, wondering what the fuck had crawled under his skin whilst I was asleep.

Mikey shrugged, deciding that the fuel tank was full enough for now and replacing the nozzle back on the pump. I gave him a puzzled look before I too shrugged it off.

“I’ll drive us to a safehouse or something.” He uttered, moving to get back behind the wheel. “Is that cool with you?”

I nodded, stretching my arms as I walked around to get back in the truck. I glanced out into the darkness and saw a flash of lightning, the storm was approaching.

**~*~**

We found a barn to rest in, Mikey fell asleep quickly with Ray not too far behind him. I sat at the door with Frank in the dim light of our flashlight, he had refused to sleep citing that we shouldn’t sit on watch alone since we lost Helena.

“So what’s up with you?” I asked, leaning back against one of the supporting beams of the upper levels. “You seemed pissed earlier when we were filling up the truck.”

He scoffed. “I’m tired and…I just feel shit.”

“How come?” I pressed, leaning forward slightly.

He regarded me with a conflicted expression before looking to the large wooden doors that were keeping the storm at bay. “…all I’ve heard since leaving Jersey is ‘let’s find Pete’ or ‘I hope Pete’s okay’ and all that bullshit.” He sighed. “No-one has breathed a word of us just surviving on our own. No-one’s thought that maybe a larger group would only increase our chances of being careless, of the death count climbing, of our supplies becoming scarce.”

“…true. But we don’t have a long term plan, I personally think we should just keep smaller goals until we have a better idea ho-”

“And Pete is gonna have the answers to all our problems is he?” Frank snapped, keeping his voice low to avoid waking the others. “Pete is the fucking miracle worker is he? Pete can single-handedly save us can he?”

I heard what he was saying, not necessarily what words he was letting flow out of his mind but what he was _really_ saying.

“We never said that.” I said slowly, letting him calm down enough for my voice to be heard. “Mikey suggested meeting up with Pete, I never said that he was gonna solve all of our problems. No-one did Frank.”

He rolled his eyes. “And what if Pete doesn’t show up huh?”

I had no answer for that, whether I liked it or not he had caught me out. We didn’t have a back-up plan if this all goes wrong. The slight smirk on his face showed that he knew he had caught me out.

“Well, Mikey will be hit hard by it, Pete’s one of his closest friends.”

“Pft.”

“What?”

He just glared at the doors, no longer even looking me in the eye. “I’m the one who’s here with him now.” He whispered. “Yet he just keeps going on about how we’re gonna find Pete.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m going to be replaced once Pete gets here.” He lowered his head. “My best friend is gonna-”

I stood up and took him by the shoulders. “Don’t be stupid.” I told him. “Mikey won’t replace you.”

He didn’t say anything. I lightly shook him.

“Frank, listen to me. Mikey cares too much about you to simply ‘replace’ you. Especially right now during the end of the world.”

“How do you know that?”

“’cause he’s my doofus of a brother and we do actually talk about this kind of shit sometimes.”

He simply shook his head as if he didn’t believe me, which he probably didn’t. I couldn’t say any more than that, Mikey would kill me if I told Frank of the midnight conversations we’ve had when we were both drunk.

“I should sleep.” He mumbled.

I wasn’t about to disagree, he looked forlornly at the pile of dried straw Mikey was sleeping on and sighed heavily.

“I’m sure he won’t mind.” I said, following his gaze.

A rumble of thunder overhead broke the silence. He smiled slightly and fetched a hoodie before settling down next to my brother. As he fell asleep I decided to peek outside, the rain was falling and the sky lit up every few seconds with lightning, followed quickly by thunder. My thoughts turned to how this weather might affect the zombies, would it cause them to go crazy or become docile? The bodies would be affected that’s for sure but how?

The rain fell harder, I shut the door again and returned to the flashlight, mindlessly reaching for a packet of chips and settling down for another few hours of listening to the weather around us.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that I didn't update last week! I had a busy week of college so I had no time to properly write, then I ended up going to a last minute party and then my meeting with my band went from a 2 hour meet-up to an overnight...thing.  
> Basically I got super busy super quickly and I'm super sorry that I didn't update!

** Ten **

** Frank **

_'You can't fly if you never try'_

Gerard was right, Mikey didn’t mind me sleeping next to him, the fact that I woke up with his arms wrapped tightly around me said he _really_ didn’t mind. The barn was quiet, Ray was awake and rummaging around in the crates, Gerard seemed to have fallen asleep on watch. I just enjoyed this precious time where we all temporarily forgot what was happening out there.

Watching Mikey wake up was one of the most surreal things I’ve seen. Sure I had spent many nights at the Way’s house and seen both brothers wake up but this was different. _This_ was me watching him wake up with his face barely inches from mine, looking confused as sleep still clung to his eyes, he scrunched his nose up slightly and smiled.

“Morning.” He breathed. “Don’t remember you falling asleep here.”

“I was on watch with Gee.” I replied. “It was either here or alone.”

He blinked slowly, still waking up as we lay there on the pile of straw. “And so you picked here.”

I nodded, trying to put the conversation with Gerard out of my mind, a small part of me wanted to remember what he said.

_Mikey won’t replace you_

Nothing else was said, Mikey didn’t seem enthusiastic about getting up, he just pulled me closer to him. I felt my hands become clammy and my face heat up as we lay there, every breath and whisper tickling each other’s necks.

“Why have we gotten so clingy all of a sudden?” I whispered. I wasn’t complaining but it was out of character for both of us to be hugging every night.

“We only have each other.” Mikey replied quietly. “I like to think that we’re safer this way.”

I inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent. I felt safer here definitely but there was something else too. A warmth between us, a comfortable silence, as if we could just lay there forever with no complaints. There seemed to be no hurry to leave, Gerard was still asleep and Ray was keeping to himself, so I made an effort to appreciate this brief moment of bliss.

**~*~**

Apparently we were lower on ammo than everyone thought. Ray had taken inventory of all our supplies and it wasn’t looking good at all.

“What do you mean we only have two cases left?” Gerard groaned, staring into the box with dismay. The two cases of bullets for the hunting rifle sat there, dwarfed by the vacant space surrounding them.

“Exactly that.” Ray replied.

We sat around taking turns to eat out of a can of cold beans, we were being careful with how much food we were eating as we had no idea how scarce food was going to be as we continued across the country. I rubbed my eyes and passed the half empty can to Mikey, it was a little before nine apparently so we had to get moving soon.

“So what the fuck do we do about staying alive?” I asked, I was itching to leave already, I wanted to just get outside this dreary barn.

“Well we could try and find some more ammo.” Ray murmured.

No-one said anything, I glanced around the barn; there wasn’t much stored here other than straw but there was a workbench of sorts hidden away in the corner. Whilst the silence continued I went over to investigate it. There wasn’t much to it; an old wooden table with rusted nails and wobbly legs, odd licks of paint on the edges where they rubbed against tools and stuff. I ran my hands over the gnarled wood and looked around of any tools to take with us.

“Hey guys.” I called, picking up the head of a pitchfork. “How do you feel about melee weapons?”

Mikey joined me by the workbench and took the fork head from my hands, he inspected it a little before searching for something. A few seconds later he found a wooden pole that looked like it could be the handle for it, he gestured for me to hold on to both of them whilst he went to find something else.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, words would’ve done just fine but I decided to not break the silence. He returned with duct tape and the others in tow and set about repairing the pitchfork. Whilst he did that I searched for any other tools that we could fashion into weapons, there wasn’t much but I did find something that resembled a giant breadknife which could be useful, the only other thing that I found was a chunk of wood which could be turned into a club or bat of some sort.

Gerard regarded the fork with a distasteful look. “I…I don’t really like this idea Frank.”

“Well are you gonna shit us out some ammo then?” I remarked with a slight smile. “Cause you can stick to the rifle if you do so.”

Mikey and Ray chuckled. Things seemed to be returning to normal where we were concerned, we were actually enjoying each other’s presence, it was almost as if we had forgotten about the end of the world.

“Fine…I guess I’ll stick to driving.” He murmured. “I don’t like the whole ‘stabbing’ thing which you seem to enjoy so much.”

I took out my knife and examined it, there was quite a bit of dried blood on it and it could probably use with being sharpened. Mikey finished repairing the fork and handed it to Ray before taking the oversized breadknife and testing his grip on it.

“Mikey, you never told me where you got that pocket knife.” Gerard suddenly said.

The younger Way paused and stared at the workbench. “Uh…yeah. I found it in a store and I took it for emergencies.”

“What knife?” I asked.

“When you were bleeding out on the road, I had to come and save you without using a gun.” He replied, turning to look at me. “I mean, it was a matter of life or death.”

I didn’t remember him coming to save me, I just remembered a lot of pain and blood. I felt my hands becoming clammy again as I thought about how he put himself in harm’s way to save me without really thinking about what could’ve happened if he had…

“Anyway.” Ray sighed, taking the chunk of wood from me. “Mikey, why don’t you and Gerard load the truck up whilst I make this thing into something a bit more threatening?”

There were no arguments. Mikey gave me a nervous glance as he followed his brother towards the crates. I thought little of it until I caught Ray smiling slightly.

“What?” I asked as he set about shaping the wood into a weapon.

“…nothing.”

“Ray…”

“I saw that glance.” He whispered. “Just after admitting that he saved your life, he looked at you like I’ve not seen him look at you before.”

I swallowed, I didn’t know what Ray was implying. “So?”

“And I noticed you were both practically snuggling earlier.” There was a certain tone in his voice that told me he was hinting at something. “It was rather adorable.”

“Ray I don’t know what you’re trying to say…” I said quickly, ignoring the slight uneasiness in my stomach.

He held the wood in front of him, it slightly resembled a bat after he had worked at it with the over-sized breadknife that I was never going to learn the name of.

“Just saying, you’re getting pretty close with this whole end-of-the-world thing going on. I’m sure it hasn’t escaped Gerard’s attention.”

I looked to the stone floor. “It hasn’t.” I uttered. “Why does it matter anyway?”

He didn’t say anything, he just continued making the wood into a bat with a slight smile on his face. The glint in his eyes told me he was hurting inside but I didn’t really want to ask, I already knew what was wrong.

**~*~**

Gerard was serious about driving, Ray rode up front with him with Mikey and I in the back. The truck’s gas tank was more or less full, everything had been packed up, the sky was dark and the air humid. I swallowed as we drove away from the sanctuary of the barn, headed for the state boundary. The roads were empty, the fields were silent, the sky was not.

“…thunder.” Ray observed as another rumble sounded overhead.

“God there better not be a fucking storm on the way.” Gerard replied, tightening his grip on the wheel. “I don’t like driving in storms.”

I sighed and tried not to think about the ‘what ifs’ of driving through a storm. My hands found my knife and started turning it in my grasp, the blade slicing through the air as the rain began to fall. I felt slightly better with the blade in my hand. The older Way groaned as the silence in the van was pierced by the hammering of rain. It was still humid and that unsettled me, despite my limited knowledge on tornados I knew that this was setting up the perfect conditions for one to spawn. We _were_ in tornado alley after all…

“Please don’t be a tornado.” I heard Mikey whisper. I glanced over at him, he was hugging his knees tightly as he stared out the window at the darkening sky. Rain continued to pour down onto the truck’s roof blocking out whatever Gerard was saying to Ray.

We continued along the road with the racket around us, I couldn’t even see outside anymore with the rain and the dark clouds around us. The headlights were very ineffective apparently but for the most part I assumed we were okay.

That was when the truck started to feel…strange.

“Are we drifting?” I asked suddenly.

Mikey’s head snapped up from where he had been resting it on his knees. “What?”

“Shut up.” Gerard snapped, normally I would’ve protested but I saw his knuckles were turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. “I-I got it.”

The wheels locked up and the entire truck skidded on the wet tarmac. I was thrown into the door and my side flared in agony, I didn’t know what was happening but all I could hear was Gerard spitting cuss words as he wrestled with the steering. He must’ve slammed the accelerator down as I was then thrown back into my seat, my side still burning with new pain. I clenched my jaw as I fought back tears. We eventually ended up in a town, the rain still pouring and wind battering the truck, which was when we heard something other than the rain and Gerard swearing.

“Sirens?” Ray breathed. “Tornado sirens?”

“Fuck.” Gerard cussed, spinning the wheel. “just…fuck.”

I looked over to Mikey with teary eyes, he was pale and hugging his knees tightly, I tore my hand away from my side and forced my hand into his. He snapped out of whatever trance he was in and gripped my fingers tightly.

“Gee, there’s a garage there.” Ray pointed out. “Maybe we can shelter there.”

The truck lurched and the squeal of brakes announced our arrival. The two of them jumped out and the rattle of chains could be heard along with the howling wind.

“Get the fuck out of the van!” Gerard shouted at Mikey and me. We complied, letting him usher us into the service well underneath the parked truck. Ray rapidly chained the front bumper to some piping before leaping down to join us. I pressed myself against Mikey, he folded himself against me and gripped my hands for dear life.

Wind screamed around us, I had to close my eyes to stop them burning from all the rushing air. I felt Gerard on my other side, holding onto my arm and reaching around to hug the two of us, Ray was on Mikey’s other side. All four of us, huddled in the service well hoping to hell that the truck didn’t get taken away.

I don’t know how long it was before I dared to open my eyes, it felt like hours before I gently lifted my head to look around. The garage was still standing, everything was a mess but the walls and roof were still attached to the foundation.

“I-Is it over?” Mikey murmured from next to me. The wind had died down, the rain was still pouring but it sounded lighter, it seemed to have passed.

Gerard poked his head out of the service well, slowly emerging from the relative safety from underneath the truck. I squeezed Mikey’s hands that were clenching mine, he squeezed back, my stomach was in knots from fear and this gesture didn’t help in the slightest.

“I’ll check outside…you guys stay in here.” Gerard spoke quietly.

“Hell no, you’re not going out alone.” Ray said, shuffling out of the well too. “I’ll at least stand by the door.”

My attention shifted to Mikey, he was shaking slightly and digging his fingers into my hands. I pulled them from his grasp and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He relaxed into my hold but was still shaking like a leaf.

“It’s okay.” I breathed, rubbing his back. “We’re alive.”

“I-I was so scared.” He whispered. “I just kept thinking about the roof ripping off and…and…”

I pulled back and placed my hands on either side of his face. “It’s okay.” I repeated, looking into his fearful eyes. “Mikey we’re alive.”

He nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

I smiled, trying to lift the mood. Gently pulling his face close to mine and resting my forehead against his. “It’s gonna take more than a tornado to stop us…not after the amount of zombies we’ve killed.”

He choked out a laugh. “Yeah.”

“I’m sure as hell not ready to die.”

“Me neither.”

We sat there in silence for a few moments, the rain drumming on the roof making it seem like a little storm back in Jersey. I remembered the days we ran to the bus stop soaked to the skin, laughing and splashing through puddles as we watched the tail lights disappear. More than once did we end up just running to the Way’s house and tripping into the hallway, much to their mother’s disapproval at the wet floor. We’d spend the rest of the evening listening to music or reading comic books, they were some of the best days of the past year and it hurt to think that we wouldn’t quite have another night like that.

Mikey pulled back from my grasp slightly, he gazed at me for a few seconds, my stomach twisted slightly as I waited for him to speak or just do something to break the silence. If I hadn’t known any better I would’ve sworn that he wasn’t even looking me in the eye.

“Frank…” he murmured.

“Yeah Mikey?” I replied.

“…do you remember the day we took the bikes to the lake?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah…it was just the two of us right?”

He nodded. “Ray was out of town and Gerard was hungover.”

“Why do you ask?”

“You remember…you remember how we talked about the girls we thought were hot?”

I thought back, yeah we had spoken about that. I remember it being a brief conversation as neither of us really had many girls to talk about.

“Kinda. There weren’t many girls to speak of.”

He bit his lip. “Frank there’s something I think you need to know.”

I was slightly nervous at this point, what was going on? What did he need to tell me? What was so secretive that it needed an apocalypse to bring it out of him?

“Yeah?” my hands were resting on his shoulders, I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not given the apparent seriousness of this conversation.

“I-I think…or rather…I know…” he uttered, seemingly not sure of how to word whatever was so important to him.

I nodded, patiently waiting, praying that Gerard and Ray wouldn’t come back and break his train of thought. He kept biting his lip and clenching his hands, whatever this was it clearly felt like a massive weight crushing him.

“It’s okay Mikes.” I whispered, cupping his cheek with my hand without much thought. He looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

“Frank…seriously…I mean I understand if you don’t…but I just think you need to know.” He babbled, cheeks flushing red and hot under my fingers.

“Calm down, just put it bluntly…whatever it is I’ll be here for you.”

He was quiet for a few moments, it felt like half an hour passed before he sighed and spoke. “I’m gay.”

I swallowed. My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t remove my hand from his face, if anything this all made a little more sense and that comforted me. I hadn’t been imaging the glances, the gestures, even Ray and Gerard’s little remarks all made sense.

“…why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked.

He blushed a deeper shade of red. “I-I hadn’t known you that long…I didn’t want to seem weird or-”

I bumped my forehead against his. “You _are_ weird.” I laughed. “And you know what? I like that you’re weird.”

He smiled slightly. “Thanks I guess.”

“And why would you being gay have anything to do with whether I like you or not?” I continued.

“I don’t know…I guess cause you’re straight-”

“Am I though?” I challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you?” he repeated.

“I might not be.”

He gave me a puzzled expression. “What?”

“I personally consider myself bi-sexual.”

He seemed slightly stunned to say the least. “…how…how long and why didn’t you tell me?”

“A few months.” I shrugged. “Maybe a year.” I hadn’t really given it much thought, I liked both guys and girls. It didn’t seem like a big deal to me but at the same time I wasn’t going to go up to everyone and greet them like ‘Hi my name is Frank and I’m bi-sexual’ either.

“I just didn’t think it was important…and no-one asked me so…yeah.”

We sat in a somewhat uneasy silence. I smiled at him, he smiled back. I drew him into a hug, he buried his face in my shirt and sighed. My heart was beating like crazy and I wasn’t entirely sure whether this was a delayed reaction to nearly dying or something else at play.

Like holding my best friend tightly right after he came out to me. My best friend. Mikey. Holding Mikey. Holding him so close that I could feel his heart racing.

“Hey guys I think we should le-” Gerard’s voice called, his footsteps echoing off the concrete floor. He abruptly stopped talking as he saw us huddled together. “…uh…am I interrupting?”

I smiled and shook my head. “We’re leaving already?” I asked, rubbing Mikey’s back again.

“Y-Yeah, Ray reckons we can make it to the next town before nightfall.” He answered, a raised eyebrow at the two of us still sitting in the well.

I nodded. “Okay, give us a sec?”

He smiled and backed out of the garage again, winking as he closed the door.

Mikey pulled back from my hug. “Why’d you send him away?”

It was my turn to blush as I bit my lip. “Cause I want to make sure you’re okay.”

He playfully hit my shoulder. “Yeah I’m alright…just nearly died in a tornado.”

I laughed, his humour was still intact at least.

“And you know…zombies everywhere…” he continued, slowly getting off the floor. I moved to stand beside the truck with him. “other than that I’m grand.”

I rolled my eyes. I had missed the sarcastic yet loveable humour he provided, it was a nice change from the stoic and tired Mikey he had been the last few days. I hoped that once we found Pete things would keep improving, we’d figure out what to do, we’d be okay…


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay...I've been too emotional to write properly - my great uncle passed away recently and everything's just gone downhill so yeah...apologies in advance if I take an unexpected hiatus, I'll do my best to let you all know if it comes to that!  
> Thank-you for supporting this fic; kudos and comments make my days a little brighter!

** Eleven **

** Gerard **

_'Life is so short'_

After the storm passed we stopped off to call Pete, by sheer luck on our part we were only a few miles from where him and Patrick were. Mikey and Frank kept stealing glances from each other, much to my amusement, I figured that Mikey had finally told Frank that he’s gay and judging by how nothing seemed to had changed between them; I’d say Frank took it well.

“So the next right?” I asked Ray who had written down instructions to meet up with the two of them.

He nodded. We were in some backwater town which had been abandoned in the chaos, there was blood on the sidewalks and sprayed onto some of the buildings. It stank to high heavens, there were limbs lying in the streets with no body to be found and that grossed me out. As I was beginning to wonder if they were even here, a black truck came into view, it looked as if it had been through hell; blood coated the front bumper, pieces of plants and what I assumed to be bodies were caught in the grill.

“Sup guys?” I called as we rolled up in front of them.

“Well there’s an apocalypse.” Pete replied with a grin, his black hair ruffled by the strong winds that were still whipping through the state. “And we’re kinda caught in the middle of tornado season.”

Mikey ran up to him hugged him tightly, I noticed Frank looking lost. “Yo Frankie, this is Pete and Patrick.” I declared.

“Hey.” Patrick greeted him, adjusting his baseball cap before shaking Frank’s hand. “You known these guys long?”

“About a year.” Frank simply replied, his glance flickered to Pete and Mikey still tightly hugging. “I met Mikey in highschool and we’re pretty close…”

The wind was picking up again and I was slightly worried that there would be another tornado. I wanted to get going again but we still had to actually agree on a plan and that could take hours at this rate.

“Guys, can we please get to the point?” I asked loudly. “I mean we’re here for a reason.”

That seemed to snap them all back to reality. Pete nodded several times before we all crammed ourselves into Ray’s truck to discuss our ideas on staying alive.

“Right so Pete, what do you know and what’s your plan?” I asked.

He cleared his throat. “Well Chicago is a gonner.” He stated. “As is most of the eastern states from what me and Pat heard before all the tv stations got knocked out. Joe and Andy are MIA right now, we last saw them just before a massive horde attacked our base.”

“Our plan was to split up if we got attacked and then meet here.” Patrick interrupted. “We’ve been here for a day now and there’s no sign of them…”

An uneasy silence fell with that information. I sighed and rubbed my face, processing this situation. “Okay…well we have enough supplies to wait around for like…a day or two.” I said slowly. “So we can wait for a while to see if they do show up.”

“Then what?” Frank piped up. “What do we do then?”

“Pete?” I beckoned. “You got any solid ideas?”

He huffed, causing his slight fringe to shift. “Have you guys seen _Dawn of the Dead_?” We all nodded. “Well I think we should go for a similar idea, head for the coast, steal a boat and just…sail away…hope for the best.”

“I actually think the ending to _Last of us_ would be a better idea.” Mikey said. “Set up a camp inside a fort or something and try to outlast the zombies.”

We spent a few minutes arguing the pros and cons of both ideas, the rain began falling again and the wind was still whipping around the truck. I noticed that Mikey had squeezed himself onto Frank’s lap in order for Pete and Patrick to fit in the back seats of the truck, it also hadn’t escaped my notice that Frank had his arm wrapped around my brother’s waist.

**~***~**

After what seemed like hours we eventually agreed to find a building to hole up in for the foreseeable future, or rather Patrick, Pete and Ray would go and find a building, I was going to stay with Frank and Mikey to see if I could figure out what exactly was going on between them.

“So when are we going to tell them about Helena?” Mikey asked as we sat in the truck.

I shrugged. “I don’t think we will…not for a while yet.”

“Why?” Frank challenged.

“Just cause. I mean what good would it do? Their two friends are missing, probably dead if I’m being honest, and we bring up the death of a little girl?”

Frank nodded slowly, my words sinking in. “But still. We ought to tell them.”

“Just leave it…” Mikey uttered to him. “Ray’s probably still beating himself up about it too…let’s leave it alone for a while longer.”

Frank nodded, resting his head on Mikey’s shoulder and sighing. My brother smiled, closing his eyes and leaning into Frank’s hold.  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to view this, was it all just a delayed reaction to the chaos we were in? Was it something to do with Mikey’s sexuality? Was Frank gay? I had to admit I had my suspicions but nothing to really make me think he wasn’t straight. My mind was whirling just like the wind outside, I didn’t know if I was okay with all of this or not. I wasn’t even sure if it was my business technically, we had bigger problems after all like the end of the world as we know it.

Yet it still popped up in my mind; the idea of Mikey and Frank together.

A knock on the window spurred me from my thoughts, Ray beckoned me to roll the window down.

“We found a furniture store we can rest up in.” he reported. “Two blocks from here.”

I nodded and shifted over to the wheel, waiting for him to get in before starting up the engine again. He directed me to where Pete’s truck was now parked; a shop on the corner of the street, the windows were still reasonably intact although now splattered with blood and stank a bit. When we got inside I was surprised at how undisturbed everything was, despite Pete’s apparent search for supplies.

“Wait we actually get to sleep on beds?” Frank asked, he seemed disbelieving even though it was obvious by the displays still set up.

“Yeah looks like it.” Mikey replied.

Patrick helped me unload the supplies from out truck into the store, Ray and Pete were testing the electrics and securing any other exits. We took it upon ourselves to barricade the windows, fearing another tornado could shatter them and let god knows what in, once we had done that the large room was in darkness, apparently the lights didn’t work.

“Don’t we have some glow sticks?” Mikey asked me. “Dad always said to have more than one source of light.”

I rolled my eyes and rummaged through the crate, we had quite a few spare batteries but I knew why Mikey bought up the glow sticks. It made more sense to use them in this somewhat safer environment than out on the road, they didn’t give off enough light to kill zombies with.

“I mean, we have some but not enough to last two days.” I told him.

“Why don’t we start a fire?” Pete suggested. “The entire sprinkler system has gone down along with the lights.”

“And how do you propose we vent the smoke without the AC working?” Patrick challenged. “We’ll all die of smoke inhalation you idiot!”

“Well obviously we’re not gonna die Patrick.” Pete sighed. “Just saying, it’s cold and wet out there and maybe a fire would be great.”

“You still haven’t told me how you’re gonna vent the smoke.”

For some reason this exchange between the two of them made me laugh. Ray looked rather amused at the conversation that normally would occur between us, it was interesting to witness it.

Eventually we reached the conclusion that if we kept the fire underneath one of the vents, which Frank helpfully opened by climbing on Patrick’s shoulders, then the smoke would at least funnel into it. Of course it wasn’t going to be perfect but it would stop us all dying. It was a good thing too, as it was starting to get dark by the time we agreed on whether or not to have a fire.

It fell to Patrick and I to actually make the fire, Ray was taking inventory of our combined supplies and we left the others to relax a bit and share the info we had. I hadn’t really known Pete before he moved away and I’d never met Patrick before so this was all new to me.

“How long have you known Pete then?” I asked as I held the lighter over the small pile of paper and rags that we had placed inside a metal container.

“I met him not long after he moved to Chicago, he lived two streets away from me and we just kinda collided one day.” he laughed slightly as the rags caught fire. Small embers took quickly to them and a wisp of smoke began to rise up.

“And the two others you mentioned?”

“Ah, highschool friends.” He explained. “I’m a senior, so is Andy. Pete and Joe are technically sophomores…although they haven’t set foot in a class yet.”

I nodded, pretty similar situation to us then.

“We got any preferences on food boys?” Ray asked loudly, gaining the attention of the others as well as Patrick and I.

“No more beans.” Mikey grimaced. “Not for a few days.”

Frank sniggered, Mikey punched him in the shoulder before resulting to tackling him off the bed. Pete just laughed as I exchanged glances with Patrick. When they finally quietened down Ray announced that we had quite a few cans of beef stew and that it would be easy to heat them up with the fire.

**~*~**

The rain had let up a little, we could hear the wind still howling though as I sat with Ray, Pete and Patrick around the fire. Mikey and Frank had gone to sleep so they could be on watch later. It was quite cold away from the fire so I was very glad that we had one, I didn’t really want to think about what winter will be like.

“So what’s our plan?” Ray asked. We had wanted to discuss this all evening but we couldn’t drag Pete away from Mikey for the life of us, now we finally had our chance.

“Well I’m personally up for heading to the west coast.” Pete sighed. “If we can get a boat then the probability of us surviving increases a lot.”

“Yeah…but what if the rest of the world is just like this?” I asked. “What if everywhere is like this?”

“Then plan B?” Ray suggested. “Find somewhere to fortify and just ride this apocalypse out?”

Nothing else was said. The thing was; none of us wanted to admit that this could be our new reality, that America may never be the same, that the world could be over. I had said and thought it enough times, even made jokes about it, but I didn’t want to accept that I was right.

“Well we can go to Cali if nothing else. If this entire thing started in Jersey then in theory Cali would be one of the last places to be toppled.” Patrick stated.

I nodded, it seemed like the best idea. The fire was still going strong, although we weren’t sure how long to keep it going. As we grew more tired Ray and I decided to take watch until Mikey and Frank woke up, or rather I decided and Ray groaned in protest.

When I was sure that Pete and Patrick were asleep, I pressed on with the next thing I needed to discuss.

“Ray, do you think that Mikey likes Frank?” I asked in a hushed tone over the flames.

“What? They’re best friends…or are you suggesting something else?”

I simply stared at him, he shifted slightly under my gaze before sighing.

“Okay, I there might be something else going on.” He admitted. “Why do you ask?”

“I saw them earlier, I mean Mikey was sat _on_ Frank’s lap.”

Ray simply raised an eyebrow. “So?”

“And then there’s the sleeping together…”

“Yeah but they’ve always been like that.” He objected. “I’ve lost count of how many times I found them in the same bed on a morning.”

“That’s what I’m saying though, they’ve been so close for so long that I’m wondering if one said something to the other.”

“Is that really an important thing right now?”

“Well until we leave here, yeah it is.”

He shook his head slightly. “I think that you should leave it alone, just let them sort it out.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to leave it alone, I didn’t want them rushing into things during such a frantic time. At least we had two days to regroup before we had to face whatever was between us and the coast.

A silence fell between Ray and I, out of boredom I decided to check the reinforced windows. On my way back to the warmth of the fire I came across the bed that Mikey and Frank were sleeping in, they were wrapped up with each other under the sheets; adding to my suspicions that they were more than best friends. Not that there was anything wrong with that of course.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! aka: I have two days off this week and had inspiration...  
> As far as how the story is progressing...I'm thinking it'll be about 25 chapters in length?? It might be more or less that, it depends how I decide to finish it (spoiler: I only have the next 2 chapters planned out hah...)

** Twelve  **

** Frank **

Two days had passed. Andy and Joe weren’t with us. Pete and Patrick were understandably worried. I was surprisingly gutted about this too, I had ignored any thoughts of my family being dead, our friends from school being dead, I had supressed the gut-wrenching feeling of hopelessness and sorrow. The bitter fact that they were almost certainly gone hit me hard that night, Mikey held me close as I sobbed, the others were asleep and I didn’t want them to see me so pitiful.

“I can’t…I can’t do this Mikey.” I choked. He rubbed my back and hugged me tightly, simply humming in response. “My mom…my cousins…our friends…they’re all gone aren’t they?”

“I…” He started, pausing to push me up to look him in the eye. “Their chances of survival…are slim.” He uttered. “But it’s not certain that they’re gone Frank.”

I collapsed against him, the warmth of our make-shift fire was little comfort in the darkness. What was comforting was his arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him. We had been up for hours supposedly on watch but there was nothing _to_ watch, the melee weapons lay beside us within easy reach but they hadn’t been used in days. We hadn’t seen _any_ zombies in days. It was starting to concern us but no-one wanted to bring it up.

“Shh…” Mikey murmured to me as I continued to sob into his shirt. I felt him rest his head on top of mine as he stroked my back.

I fell asleep against him, waking up as the first few rays of the dawning light were streaking through the barricaded windows. Mikey sighed as I sat up.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked groggily. “We were meant to be on watch together.”

“There was little threat to us, I would’ve woken you up if I needed you to.” He replied, a small smile appearing on his face. “And you needed to sleep.”

I shook my head. “But still.”

“Would you rather I’d kept you awake?”

“We hardly get anytime to ourselves…I like it when we’re on watch together.” I mumbled, partly hoping he wouldn’t hear me, the raised eyebrow showed me he did.

He opened his mouth to reply but was cut short by the sounds of someone approaching. Pete shot us both a goofy smile as he sat next to us. “Sup?”

“The ceiling.” Mikey replied, smirking. “It’s been a quiet night.”

“You two were up all night?” he asked, almost disbelieving. “Like… _all_ night?”

I shrugged. “Well most of it.”

“He fell asleep halfway through.” Mikey remarked, gesturing to me. “Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that.”

I lightly punched his shoulder, kind of annoyed that he made me sound like a lost puppy to Pete. Then again who knew what kind of impression he had painted of me to Pete.

“I fell asleep so many times on watch.” Pete chuckled. “Patrick always got annoyed with me.”

We didn’t have to wait long for the others to get up, after eating some more glorious canned food we packed up and sorted out who was going with who. With Joe and Andy still MIA Ray volunteered to travel with Pete and Patrick, leaving Gerard with Mikey and I.

“We’ll lead, you follow.” Patrick told Gerard. “I’ll be driving so it won’t be difficult to get lost.” He remarked.

“Got it.”

**~*~**

“It’s weird without Ray.” Gerard hummed, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as we filled up the trucks at a gas station. I found it weirder that there was still gas in the pumps, surely in the mass panic there would be none left?

“Yeah…” I replied, glancing out the window at Mikey, he shrugged and finished filling up the tank.

“You alright Frank?”

“Yeah.”

Gerard turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. “…you sure?”

I nodded, Mikey slid back into the truck and broke the uneasiness. The drive was quiet for the most part, the clouds overhead were intimidating like a few days ago. At least it wasn’t raining so we were able to have the windows open. I watched the mountains that we had been driving towards disappear behind low-lying clouds, the wind picked up slightly as we turned off onto a dirt track; religiously following Patrick’s truck.

“What kind of back-alley route is he taking us on?” Gerard muttered, breaking heavily to turn a tight corner, crops were defiantly growing taller than the truck on both sides of us. We shut the windows to prevent getting attacked by plants.

“Well it depends where in California they’re intending to go.” Mikey murmured, casting a weary glance at the darkening sky. I gently took his hand in mine, knowing full well that he was fearful of another storm. He squeezed my hand slightly, shooting me a small smile.

“True.”

As rain began to fall, the dirt road turned into a mud road, Gerard spat every cuss word I could think of at the windscreen as he wrestled with the slippery conditions. Mikey squeezed my hand as the truck lurched violently.

“Fuck sake Patrick.” Gerard uttered, rubbing the back of his neck as the road straightened out and became less muddy.

“Where the hell are we anyway?” I asked.

“Fucked if I know anymore.” He sighed.

The rain got heavier. I was worried that there was gonna be a repeat of the tornado incident. And that was something we could do without. I could sense Gerard’s panic when we lost sight of the truck in front of us.

“…I…” he uttered, flashing the headlights on the highest setting. It made no difference to the endless onslaught of rain that hindered out view. “Can you see them?” he asked us.

Mikey had curled up into a ball again, fearing the worst, his hand still squeezing mine tightly. I peered between the seats out the windscreen. With no sign of them Gerard pushed on, the road was still straight as far as we could tell and less bumpy which indicated it had some kind of tarmac surface.

“Gee we have to stop somewhere.” I said. “We can’t drive through this.”

“No we have to follow the road, otherwise we’ll lose them.” He argued.

“And what if they’ve stopped already?”

“Then I probably would’ve slammed into their truck by now.”

“Gerard seriously!” I snapped.

The wind had started pressing against the side of the truck, ever so slightly causing us to drift like last time. Mikey whimpered quietly, my hand loosing circulation temporarily everytime he squeezed it.

“Where the fuck am I even supposed to go Frank?” Gerard asked. “We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

Tail-lights came into view quickly, Gerard flashed the headlights and pulled up alongside the other truck. Patrick signalled through the window that they were pulling over a little bit down the road.

Another isolated farmhouse, another night huddled around a fire but at least this one had an actual fireplace. I shivered, I volunteered to unload the truck in the pouring rain and now I was soaked to the core. The house was a bit banged up in places, the roof was leaking slightly which wasn’t helping my drying-off attempts. The one thing that was good about this place was that the bathroom still had running water.

“When can I have a shower?” I whined to Patrick, Ray was currently using it shortly after Pete bagged it first.

“When Gerard’s done.” He told me with a chuckle. “We drew straws for a reason Frank.”

“But I’m soaked to the skin!”

Mikey laughed from the moth-eaten sofa. “You chose to unload the truck.” His laughter died as a rumble of thunder caused us to look out the wide bay window, the rain was hammering down on the trucks.

Patrick went about finding something from our dwindling stock to cook up to eat, I eventually grew too annoyed at my damp shirt so I took it off and spread it next to my equally soaked hoodie on the floor near the fire. As I turned to face Mikey I caught his eye, a hint of red spread across his cheeks, a flush of heat flared in my own face.

“W-What?” I stammered out at last.

“N-Nothing.” He stammered back.

I heard a small chuckle from the dining room; despite the rain, this house was very quiet so Patrick probably heard both of us. There was also a chill despite the fire crackling away behind me.

“You’re cold.” Mikey stated, his voice more confident. “Come here.” He held his arms open for me, my breath caught in my chest as I processed this, taking a split second to think before nodding and curling up in his hold.

The fire’s warmth didn’t quite reach the sofa, it wasn’t big enough to generate much warmth at all but it was more for light than anything. I shivered and felt his hold tighten, he rubbed my shoulders and forearms to try and generate some heat, his fingers gliding over my skin attentively and slowly.

“Jesus…you’re still freezing.” He uttered after a while. I didn’t feel cold, then again maybe I was too cold to even notice now.

“…so?” I sighed. Gerard had only just got into the shower and he always took forever so I’d be sat here for a while yet.

He pushed me to sit up, he then pulled his hoodie off and roughly urged me to put it on. It was warm and smelled of him, he then pulled me to lie down properly on the sofa, wrapping an arm around my waist and pressing our foreheads together.

“…okay I’m warmer now.” I breathed, still catching up with what had just happened.

“Good.” He said, smirking slightly. “Not saying you don’t look good topless, I’d just rather you were warm.”

I knew I started blushing at that remark, there was no hiding or denying it. “Cheers dude.” I murmured, playing down my reaction.

“No problem.”

Simply lying there with him felt eerily peaceful, I almost didn’t want to go and have a shower now that I was here. I shuffled closer to him, seeking warmth despite his hoodie, and pressed my face in the crook of his neck. He ran his fingers through my unkempt hair, relaxing into the couch. I think we would’ve fallen asleep like that, just utterly contempt with each other, had Patrick not coughed loudly when he re-entered the room.

“Gerard’s finished in the shower Frank.” He remarked, stoking the fire. “Unless you’re not bothered anymore…” the slight rise in his tone of voice sent me scrambling out of Mikey’s hold. At first I felt guilty, but then I heard him laughing so all was not lost.

The water was stone cold. Either the others had completely used it up or the heating had finally packed up. Nevertheless, I came out colder than when I went in, even with Mikey’s hoodie to try and heat my once again damp and freezing body.

I found Mikey sat by the fire, Gerard and Ray were now seated on the couch, Pete appeared to be sleeping on the floor at their feet. Patrick threw me a towel for my hair as he passed me on the way to the shower, I mumbled a warning about the cold water before proceeding to collapse next to Mikey.

“Nice shower?” he asked with a smirk.

“Stone cold.” I uttered, drying my hair.

“Sorry about that.” Ray beamed. “This fro requires a lot of water to clean it.”

I scowled, they all laughed aside from Pete who just grumbled sleepily about something or other.

I tossed the towel aside, Mikey offered me a bowl of noodles which I took hungrily and ate quickly. He watched me with a content expression, the fire was a blessing to cold body as were the noodles. When I finished I sighed happily and curled back up in his hold, ignoring the murmurs from the couch.

“Tired?” he whispered, knowing full well what the answer was.

“Yeah…we’re not on watch tonight right?”

“Nah…”

**~*~**

Patrick and Gerard were in the other room that looked out onto the road, they’d pace through the house to watch out over the fields that stretched beyond the backyard and then back again. Pete was still asleep by the couch, Ray on the couch. The fire was still going, duller than it was earlier but it was still there.

I lay beside Mikey, the two of us gazing at each other in the fading light of the embers. It was quiet, the rain had stopped more or less but the thunder was still rumbling overhead, lightning would flash occasionally and light up the room for a few seconds.

“What’s on your mind Frank?” he whispered, fingers lightly tracing my jawline.

“Nothing…why?” I replied.

“Gerard noticed something today, the way you responded told me there’s something bugging you.”

I blinked slowly, I really didn’t want to bring it up, especially when part of the problem was only a few feet away.

“Frankie…” he pleaded.

The use of my nickname and his tone of voice broke me. I sighed heavily.

“How come you make me seem like an idiot to Pete?” I asked slowly.

“What?”

“I just get the impression that you keep portraying me like some lost kid to him…like…I’m not quite up to his standards.” I told him, not bearing to look him in the eye in case I lost my nerve.  “And the way you stick so close to him, like I get he’s your best friend but…I dunno…”

His hand cupped my cheek and forced me to turn my head, bringing our foreheads together as he exhaled. “Frank…Frankie…I’m sorry.” He uttered. “I didn’t realise…I didn’t do it intentionally.”

I wanted to force his hand away, I didn’t want to believe he was so ignorant of his actions. Something inside of me disagreed with that plan of action.

“You’re not ‘some lost kid’, you’re my best friend.”

“ _He’s_ your best friend.” I snapped. “And I’d be foolish to think that I could replace him.”

“Then what do you want to be?” he whispered, keeping a firm but soft grip on my face, keeping me in place effectively.

I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know, I just didn’t want to be alone, Mikey was the only person I had left who I…

My thoughts dawned on me all at once; every night spent together, every hug and near-miss that had occurred both before and during this apocalypse, every pang of jealously that I had felt whenever some girl tried to hit on him, when he threw himself at Pete for the first time, that feeling of tightness in my chest when I found out he was gay-

“Frank.” He breathed. “Frankie…answer me.”

“I-I want to be more.” I stammered.

He seemed to stop breathing for a split second, the fire had died out so we were in near darkness save for the lightning.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes…”

His lips pressed against mine, soft and hesitant. Fingers ran through my hair gently, I kissed him back, feeling the smile on his face. This was happening. This was really happening. He pulled away slowly, kissing my nose and tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

“…are you sure?” he asked again.

“Yes Mikey!” I said, feeling this sense of a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders.

“Just checkin’.” He murmured. A brief silence falling before he spoke again. “You wanna know how long I’ve wanted to hear that?”

“How long?” I asked, I was unaware he had really felt this way, then again I didn’t even figure out he was gay so I suppose I it wasn’t _that_ bad.

“Since Christmas.”

It was July now, so that was seven months ago, he had been waiting seven months for me to fall for him.

“Should’ve mentioned you were gay a bit sooner then.” I remarked.

“I only told Gerard in February.” He explained in hushed tone. “And I didn’t want to ruin our friendship…”

“Does Pete know?”

“…he was the first to figure it out.”

I swallowed, bumping my forehead against his. “Doesn’t matter really, it’s out in the open now.”

“I like it this way, no paranoia about my actions.” He sighed, shuffling closer to me, I wrapped an arm around him and kissed the top of his head.

“So, are we a thing then?” I asked.

“If you want us to be…I guess we are.”

Silence fell between us, Pete’s light snores being the only sound in the entire house that I could hear.

“Mikey?”

“Yeah Frankie?”

I held my breath, a few simple words away from whatever you could call this…

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“I think I’m in love with you too.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda feel this chapter is slightly disjointed but there is method to my madness.  
> Also in case you haven't realised - I've run out of appropriate lines from the song that inspired this fic...so that's a thing.  
> As always thanks for reading!

** Thirteen **

** Gerard **

I hadn’t intended to hear the entire conversation, I didn’t even know they were still awake as I leaned against the doorway; watching the lightning flash outside the window. Either way, I heard everything, there was a small smile on my face as I returned to Patrick in the dining room which overlooked the road.

“What’s made you so happy?” he asked quietly.

“…just overheard Frank and Mikey talking about something.” I told him, not entirely open to the idea of telling him just _what_ I had overheard.

“I thought they were asleep?”

“So did I.” I sighed, letting my guard down slightly.

He didn’t press me to tell him any more than that, Patrick was cool like that and reminded me a lot of Ray. We sat more or less in silence, watching the night go on, if we didn’t know any better then we wouldn’t even know the world had gone to shit, it just looked so normal out there. Lightning flashed on the horizon, the storm had passed at long last, the rain had stopped too so now the silence was more noticeable. I wasn’t anticipating the next question.

“Why do you think this is happening?”

“What?”

“Why do you think this…zombie thing is happening?” he sighed, leaning back in the old dining chair he was sat in.

“Why or how?” I asked, they were two different questions and I hadn’t really considered the first.

“I mean, is it just an accident? A freak natural occurrence? Or is it something more malicious?”

“What do _you_ think?”

“I’m undecided.”

I nodded. “I don’t want to believe someone purposely did this…but it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility.”

“It started off in Jersey didn’t it?”

“Yeah…it was just, like a split second thing. One minute we were watching horror films and having a great time and the next thing I know Mikey’s shaking me awake and I get told our neighbour has been torn to pieces.” I told him, this was the first time I had thought through the stages of waking up to this altered reality. It didn’t make it any easier to talk about.

“When Pete heard about it he was worried sick, all he could talk about was how he hoped you were okay, getting that phone call from Mikey gave him so much relief. Especially since it was spreading so quickly. We didn’t initially decide to leave Chicago until it completely took over West Virginia within hours.”

I paced the room slowly, wanting to keep myself from drifting off, if I had my way then it would’ve been Pete on watch but he had conveniently fallen asleep before I could voice it. “Just the four of you?” I asked, wondering why they didn’t bring their families.

“Well I told my mom what I was doing, she was sceptical that the entire thing wasn’t just some prank being pulled by the news network. Even then, she would’ve gone north to Canada rather than south like we were planning.”

“Yeah why didn’t you go north? Would’ve made more sense for you to do that.”

“Borders were sealed up. The Canadian officials were paranoid like hell, besides, Pete had already agreed to meet you guys in Indiana by the time we seriously thought about leaving. It was kind of a forgone conclusion what our plan was.”

It made sense, wasn’t the best idea but it made sense. My thoughts returned to his question, why _did_ this start? And how? I had pretty much gathered that it was some kinda of mutation, mainly because we had all been in contact with them and none of us were gonners yet.

“Brain tumour?” I said.

“What?” Patrick asked, confusion spread across his face.

“How it’s spreading, it’s some kind of brain tumour.”

“That’s what it could be, not how it’s spreading.”

He had a point. “Frank got mauled by a group of them just before we found you guys. He’s not showing any signs of turning into one so I’m guessing that it isn’t spread by contact.”

“Well…maybe it’s more complex than just a simple outbreak of a virus…or tumour.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Let’s save this for the morning eh? Maybe the others will have things to add.”

**~*~**

The sunrise was quite pretty, almost like the glimmer of hope in this chaotic time. Patrick had somehow managed to stay up the rest of the night with me despite us both being exhausted, the sunrise made it all worth it. We watched the dark sky come alive with a pale yellow glow, the few clouds drifting above the horizon gradually turning orange as if they were marshmallows over a campfire and the shadows of the trees stretching across the road.

“I suppose we better figure out where to go from here.” He mumbled, standing up and stretching.

“Any vague ideas?”

“The Nevada desert might be a good idea, the heat will probably hinder any zombies surviving. Although the downside is that there might not be many places to stop for the night or to get gas…so we could get fucked over.”

Talking from the other room spurred us to move, Pete was awake and had woken Ray up in the process of figuring out where he was. Mikey and Frank were still asleep, Frank holding Mikey close to him, Pete gestured to them as he looked to me.

“Are they a thing now?” he asked, no sound of anger in his voice merely surprise.

Ray and Patrick both raised an eyebrow at me as I weighed up the pros and cons of spilling what I knew. I beckoned them all into the kitchen so that there was less chance of waking the two of them up.

“So I overheard some of their conversation last night.” I murmured. “I won’t tell you everything I heard because I want to talk to them about it okay?”

Ray and Patrick nodded, Pete folded his arms across his chest.

“Guys, seriously, don’t mention this to them until I say so.”

“Yeah okay.” Pete sighed, a small smile playing his lips.

I nodded and inhaled deeply. “Basically I heard them talking about some personal stuff, I didn’t really pay attention to it until a silence fell and Mikey started pleading Frank to answer some question.” I explained, leaving out the _really_ personal stuff that I know they’d both kill me for mentioning. “Next thing I know they’re kissing as lightning flashed across the sky.”

“So they are together?” Pete concluded.

“A kiss doesn’t mean they’re together Pete and you know that.” Patrick sighed, something in his tone of voice implied that there was more to that story.

“Either way, so now they’re gonna be inseparable.”

I didn’t like how Pete was handling this, I shot a worried glance to Ray in hopes that he would pick up on what I was thinking.

“Is that a problem?” Ray asked, folding his arms just as Pete had done. The question hung in the air for a few seconds before Pete shrugged.

“I don’t know. Are they gonna be focused enough if we get jumped by a horde? In case you were under a rock these past few hours; we’re still in danger.”

“We haven’t seen a horde in days.” I challenged, knowing full well that it was likely that we would encounter one soon. “And what harm does it do really? Surely you should be happy for them if they are a thing?”

He snorted. “Gerard. Two of my best friends are probably dead, Patrick and Mikey are the only two people I have left who I _know_ are alive. If Frank’s actions cause either of them to…” he paused. “If he’s the reason either of them ends up dead then I will have no problem in leaving him in the middle of nowhere.”

What the hell had gotten under Pete’s skin so quickly? I was used to this kind of behaviour from Frank but that was just because he was…well… _Frank._ The fact that Pete was meant to be the first person that Mikey came out to, a trusted friend, his only friend for most of middle school, this just didn’t sit right with me.

“Hold the fuck up Pete.” Patrick snapped, grabbing his friend’s shoulder. “You’re taking this a bit too far, you need to calm down.”

I held my tongue, it seemed anything I said just made him more agitated. Patrick guided him outside where the sun had risen, leaving Ray and I to try and figure out what the hell to make of this.

“I think we need to talk to them.” Ray said eventually. “I’ll speak to Frank if that makes it easier for you?”

I smiled, it’s like Ray had read my mind and that’s what made his comforting presence even better. “Alright. You wanna get them up or shall I?”

**~*~**

Mikey sat stiff on the couch; hands clasped over his knees, eyes fixated on the fireplace that was in use again. Ray had taken Frank into the kitchen and closed every door between us and them.

“…so what’s this about?” he asked, not looking at me.

I sighed, this was going to be an uncomfortable conversation for both of us. “Well, to cut a long story short; I heard your conversation with Frank.”

Blush creeped over his cheeks, he bit his lip and clenched his knees tighter. I bumped his shoulder and got him to look at me. He looked terrified.

“Gee, I don’t…we were going to…” he babbled.

“It’s cool dude.” I interrupted. “Mikes it’s okay.” I pulled him into a hug, he resisted at first but relaxed eventually. “It’s just that we need to figure out how to handle this.”

“What do you mean?” he bolted from my grasp and gave me a disbelieving expression.

Damn, I needed to broach Pete’s outburst carefully to him otherwise it could set off a chain reaction and end with everyone at each other’s throats.

“Pete woke up and saw you two…sleeping together.” I said slowly, catching hold of his hand in an attempt to keep him calm until I had finished. “He asked me if you two were a thing, I didn’t know what to say because obviously I had heard everything you said to each other but I didn’t know what you had actually agreed.”

He nodded slowly, biting his lip and squeezing my hand.

“I said that I saw you kiss Frank.”

“And what did Pete say?”

“He kind of…flew off the handle. He started yelling about how you weren’t gonna be focused enough to deal with a horde if we come across one, that you’ll both be too focused on keeping each other alive rather than surviving yourselves.”

I could tell that this was all hitting Mikey hard, I didn’t know what else to do other than tell him everything Pete had dared to tell us.

“He bought up that he already had two friends who were dead and how he wasn’t going to stand either you or Patrick ending up the same way.”

“Of course we won’t end up the same way!” Mikey snapped.

“He said that if he feels Frank is responsible then he will have no problem abandoning him.”

I knew that would cause the biggest upset to my brother, his best friend threatening to hold the guy he loves responsible if anyone dies. At first Mikey said nothing, he didn’t even utter a sound of disapproval.

“…Mikes?” I whispered, unsure of how to approach him.

His hands were gripping his knees so hard they were turning white, he choked out a sob before covering his face with his hands. I instantly felt guilty and wanted to punch myself in the stomach, heck I wouldn’t have complained if _he_ had punched me in the stomach.

I let him sob for a few moments, getting it out of his system was what he needed right now. He calmed down after a while long enough for me to get some sense out of him.

“Mikey, I know this is probably the last thing you want me to be asking but I have to know, are you and Frank together?”

He sniffed, not saying anything for a few seconds. “I love him.”

That didn’t directly answer my question. “And he says he loves you?”

He nodded.

That was good enough for me. I told him to wait there a second, he grunted in reply, staring once again at the fireplace. I barely got halfway through the dining room before Ray came out of the kitchen, he seemed tired.

“Well?” I asked quietly, aware Mikey could probably hear us.

“Frank’s pissed at Pete.” Ray reported with a sigh. “He’s also demanding that he’s allowed to see Mikey, like now.”

I rolled my eyes. “You go and look after Mikey, he’s distraught but he confirmed that he loves Frank…I just want to try and calm Frank down a bit before Pete gets back in here.”

Ray nodded, giving me a half-smile of encouragement. I inhaled deeply as I opened the door to the kitchen, Frank’s head shot up from where he had been resting it on the counter.

“Oh great, now _you’re_ gonna try and tell me what to do.” He groaned. “No offence but I’m not in the mood to be bossed about.”

I raised an eyebrow, at least he was behaving like I expected. “I’m not going to tell you what to do Frank.”

He didn’t look like he believed me in the slightest. “Then why are you here? Why can’t I see Mikey?”

“I need to know something Frank.” I replied, crossing the room and standing barely inches away from him, he had to crane his face up to look me in the eye.

“Well?”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

My eyes slipped shut in relief. “And what are you going to do if Pete challenges you?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, backing away slightly.

“He believes that you two won’t be prepared to fight for survival if you’re too wrapped up in each other. He’s going to hold _you_ responsible if Mikey or Patrick get hurt.” I told him. “What are you going to do if he lashes out at you? If he threatens you? I can’t have you two coming to blows over this, we have enough problems Frank.”

He was quiet, still staring me in the eye as he thought. “I won’t hurt Pete.” He stated. “But, if he throws the first punch at either me or Mikey then I won’t be accountable for my actions…”

I shook my head. “Frank. No, I really can’t have you rising to his remarks. He’s feeling vulnerable right now just as much as the rest of us are. He’s just not handling it well, Patrick’s going to try and keep him from lashing out but we have to be prepared to accept that he might not be able to control it.”

Frank wasn’t happy with that, he shoved his hands in the hoodie’s pockets, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m not letting him lay a finger on Mikey. He can shove me and punch me all he wants but he is _not_ hurting Mikey. Got it?”

I had to admit defeat, it was the best compromise I was going to get out of him. “Okay Frank…just don’t start any shit.”

He brushed past me, sensing the conversation was over. I sat on the floor, back resting against the grimy counter, and sighed heavily. The video games hadn’t really prepared me for a war amongst the very people I was fighting to protect, sure there were a fair share of cut scenes where arguments took place but enough button mashing got me through them. This was entirely different, this could actually lead to one or more of us dying at this rate.

Ray entered the kitchen and sat beside me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He said.

“I hope you’re right Toro…I hope to god that you’re right.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Important*  
> I'm participating in NaNoWriMo which means that a good portion of my spare time will be consumed by that project, however I'm not intending to stop updating this fic this month because of it (that just causes more stress than it's worth) but there may be slight delays in updates (aren't there always though).  
> So yeah.

** Fourteen **

** Frank **

I was pissed. How could Pete even say that shit? I kinda got that he wanted to protect Patrick and Mikey but blaming _me_ if either of them…that just made no sense.

“Don’t be mad at him.” Mikey uttered, taking my hand in his. “He’s just…he’s always been a bit overprotective of me.”

“That doesn’t mean he can threaten me like that.” I replied, clenching my other hand into a fist. “I mean if anything I’ll be overprotective of you too.”

He smiled slightly. “I know, and believe me when I say that I love you for it but he’s just been the one who witnessed all the bullying…”

“And we’re forgetting the incident where I got shoved in a locker for shielding you that one time?” I remarked.

“Yeah…but y’know…middle school sucked.”

I nodded, squeezing his hand and leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll try to be civil with him, but I’ll tell you what I told Gee; if he throws the first punch then I will punch back.”

“Hmm.” He hummed, leaning into my kiss. This all seemed so surreal but so _right_. Just being here with him, under any other circumstances I’d be totally over the moon, however with Pete’s outburst it only made the reality all _too_ real.

“At least we don’t have to travel in the same truck as him, maybe he’ll cool off a bit.”

It was quickly decided that we had to leave, after all the last thing we wanted was to keep Pete penned up for so long. We packed up and left. The deserted towns and fields sailing past as Gerard drove in silence. I didn’t pay much attention to anything, curling up in Mikey’s hold, there was a good chance that we’d end up on watch tonight so I wanted to get enough sleep whilst I had the opportunity to.

**~*~**

I opened my eyes, sunlight hurt my head as I blinked rapidly. Mikey was running his hands through my hair gently as the truck rumbled along the road. It was hot, I didn’t realise how warm the house had been last night but this felt stickier and a heck of a lot more uncomfortable.

“Where are we?” I mumbled.

“Somewhere in Colorado.” Gerard replied from the wheel, I noticed the empty seat next to him and gestured to it vaguely.

“Ray’s in Pete’s truck.” Mikey told me, patting my head so I’d settle down again. “We felt he might be able to calm Pete down a bit.”

I sighed, in some ways I didn’t see a point in trying to reason with him but for Mikey’s sake I’d be civil about it all. It didn’t feel like we were fighting for our survival anymore, the lack of zombies made everything seem a bit too normal. The fact that we didn’t seem to have much in the way of a survival plan kinda pissed me off too. I was just pissed off in general now.

“Calm down.” Mikey whispered, his hand stroking my cheek. “You’re not gonna make this any better by getting mad at the world.”

“Well the world’s fucked anyway.” I uttered. “Fucking zombies.”

The heat was unbearable, Gerard had the windows open as the air con would waste fuel or that was the excuse he gave anyway. Dust blew in and kept making me sneeze, Mikey fell asleep so I sat up and took in the surroundings. There were hills in the distance, grassland surrounded the road we were driving on; religiously following Patrick’s driving once more.

“Gerard?” I asked, keeping my voice down so I wouldn’t wake Mikey.

“Yeah Frankie?”

“…what happens if we get to California and…there’s no-one left?”

His hands tightened on the wheel. “I don’t know Frank.” he sighed. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know anymore.”

I was afraid of that, then again it actually comforted me to know that Gerard was just as in the dark as I was. “Also…we’re in the middle of nowhere. Where the hell are we stopping for the night?”

Gerard shrugged. “It’s entirely possible that we’ll spend a night or two in the truck. In a way it’s safer because we can just leave in an emergency.”

“Just hope it doesn’t rain then, I’m guessing the people on watch will have to sit on top the truck in order to keep watch properly.”

He chuckled slightly. “It would save them having to shower.”

The sun made its way across the sky, gradually getting closer to the horizon, Patrick showed no signs of stopping anytime soon as it got cooler and darker. Gerard sped up slightly so we drove parallel to them, signalling to stop on the side of the road.

Mikey jolted from his sleep as we came to a halt, Pete seemed calmer than before but gave me an icy glare as we all stood in the fading light.

“So what’s the plan?” Ray asked. The question that was asked every single time we had a freaking conversation but it was never really answered.

“We need to stop somewhere. I’m getting tunnel vision plus we really ought to try and conserve fuel. Driving at night is dangerous too.” Gerard said. “Considering we seem to be in the middle of nowhere I’d say it’s safer to stop here than near an urban area.”

Patrick nodded, looking at the map with great interest, Gerard and Ray quickly became invested in pointing out towns nearby and a general plan for tomorrow. Pete and I simply acknowledged each other’s presence, Mikey staring at the ground.

“…so are you two gonna be on watch tonight?” Pete asked, more directed at Mikey than me.

“Yeah I think that’s the idea.” Mikey replied.

“When are _you_ gonna be on watch?” I asked, resisting the temptation to shove him to get my point across.

“That’s none of your concern.” He muttered. “Whenever Patrick decides he wants me on watch.”

“So Patrick tells you what to do eh?” I challenged, gaining the attention of the others as my voice rose. “Can’t think for yourself yet you’ll gladly blame everyone else for the screw ups.”

“Frank don’t--” Mikey started, only to be interrupted by Pete.

“At least I can admit when I’m the one to blame.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ray told me about the girl, how she died.” He sneered, stepping forward towards me.

“That was a freak accident.”

“Yeah right, if you hadn’t have tried to take on the horde by yourself then Gerard and Mikey could’ve saved her.”

“Is that what Ray said or what _you_ deduced?” I spat.

He didn’t reply, he simply glared at me. The silence only heightened the tension between us.

“We’ve all lost people Frank, I’m just making sure I don’t lose anyone else.” He finally stated.

With that, he stalked away, I turned and walked off in the opposite direction, blood boiling and cuss words spilling from my mouth in harsh whispers. I heard the others asking Mikey what had happened, I felt bad for making him see that entire exchange but maybe it would make him understand that I can’t just let him say whatever the fuck he wants and expect me to not challenge him.

At least the heat had died down, I sat on the tail gate of the truck, leaning against one of the crates and sighed heavily. I was just done with this now. I wanted to fall asleep for weeks or maybe months and wake up when it’s all over. Wake up in Mikey’s arms, in a nice bed, in a warm, safe house…

“Frank?” It was Patrick.

“Yeah?” I grumbled, not really wanting to talk to anyone about anything.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.” I told him.

He sat next to me and was quiet for a few moments before sighing. “Pete’s being unreasonable I know.”

“You’re telling me.”

“The thing is, Andy and Joe…they’re pretty much dead and Pete blames himself for it.”

“Why?”

“He was on watch when we were ambushed by a gang of thugs.” He explained. “A temporary lapse in concentration meant he didn’t realise they were there until it was too late. We managed to get away but we got split up and we heard screams and shit…”

“Wait…you and Pete left the others?” I asked, Patrick didn’t strike me as the one to leave others behind.

“We had two trucks, I was asleep at the wheel of the one Pete was sat on, Joe and Andy in the other. When Pete raised the alarm I was pretty much slamming the accelerator down, we don’t know what the others did…so when we heard screams we weren’t sure what was going on.”

“So you agreed to meet up when?”

“Just after we set out from Chicago we agreed that if we ever got separated then we’d meet up. So that’s why we told Mikey to make for Oklahoma…because that was the rendezvous.”

“And when they didn’t turn up…”

Patrick nodded. “So now Pete’s blaming himself.”

It made slightly more sense, still didn’t make the situation any better in my mind. It didn’t give him the right to threaten me either.

“And he’s taking it out on me.” I concluded. “Great.”

Patrick placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry he’s being difficult Frank, if it’s any consolation I think you and Mikey are good together and you should just put Pete’s aggression out of your mind for a while.”

I snorted, so that’s what this was really about, Pete was scared I was going to get his best friend killed by ‘distracting’ him.

“…forgive me for throwing a wild accusation out here…” I said quietly, Patrick just stared at me. “The aggression he’s showing…it’s beginning to look a lot like the stuff we saw in Jersey.”

“No he’s not infected Frank.” Patrick snapped.

“How would you know?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “No-one seems to know how it spreads.”

He sighed heavily and left me alone again, my plan was successful. I didn’t really think Pete was infected but it wasn’t a completely impossible outcome. I was right in pointing out he was showing the same levels of aggression as I saw when we were running for our lives.

I was just about to slip back into my thoughts when someone slapped the back of my head.

“Shit on a brick--” I muttered, rubbing my head and scowling at Gerard. “What now?”

“Why the fuck have you told Patrick that Pete’s infected?” He asked. “You’ve just fucking scared him half to fucking death!”

“Fuck sake. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just pointing out that Pete’s showing signs of extreme fucking aggression.”

Another slap, harder this time. “Pull your fucking head together Frank.” he told me. “Can’t you see that _you’re_ showing those very signs?”

My eyes must’ve widened cause Gerard nodded, arms folded across his chest. “Oh no…I’m not infected Gee.”

“How would you know?” he remarked, exactly what I had said to Patrick.

“Gee…”

“You’ve been injured by them, they’ve drawn blood Frank, who’s to say that they didn’t pass something along.” He mused. “Speaking of which; have you actually had your side seen to?”

“Mikey checked it before we left.” I muttered. “He said it’s fine.”

“If anything, you’re at more risk than Pete is.” He continued. “Maybe you should think about that before running your mouth like a little shit and consider what you’re putting Mikey through for fuck sake...”

He stormed off. Gerard hadn’t spoken to me like that _ever_. And it hurt to think that he got so angry over one remark. Then the thoughts about what if I _was_ infected started to set in. I suddenly didn’t want to be around any of them anymore in case I--.

I slapped myself. No. I can’t let words get to me. I can’t let the ‘What if’s’ take hold. I wanted Mikey, I wanted him to hug me and tell me that it was impossible, I wanted all this to be over already. When I sat playing those video games thinking it would be awesome to be in an apocalypse I didn’t think about what would happen if I ended up like one of them.

My fingers clawed at the side of my head, no, I can’t be one of them, it won’t happen. I won’t let it. I’ll kill myself before that happens.

“Frankie?” Mikey’s quiet voice called, his hand touched my shoulder. “Frankie…”

I glanced over at him, I felt bad, _real_ bad.

“Frankie…come on.” He murmured, pulling me into a hug. I let the tears fall, the tears I had been holding back. I balled my hands into fist and sobbed against him, muttering that I was sorry over and over again, that I didn’t mean to be so difficult that I just wanted it to be over.

“I-I’m sorry.” I hiccupped one last time before he pushed me gently off him and held me by the shoulders.

“I know.” He said. “I know you are, I can tell you are because you rarely cry Frank.”

I sniffed loudly and wiped my face with the sleeves of my jacket. “I…I don’t know what to do.”

“Then don’t do anything.” He murmured, resting his forehead against mine. “Just sit here with me. We’ll take first watch and sort this all out eventually.”

“But Gerard said--”

“Ignore him. We’re all stepping on each other’s feet trying to protect one another. Someone was going to snap eventually.” He threaded our fingers together and kissed the top of my nose. “The best thing to do is let everyone cool off, sleep off the aggression, eat something and _then_ we’ll sort it all out.”

I nodded, feeling slightly less emotional than before. I shuffled closer to him and kissed his cheek. We watched the final remnants of daylight disappear on the horizon, I wished there was a way to preserve that moment, or at least pause it for a while…just so I could enjoy just being with him without the threat of getting killed…or worse, turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot of fun to write...because it's 90% angst.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken over 2 weeks to update!  
> I've had coursework dumped on me and deadlines are strict as fuck so I'm kinda stressed out.  
> And then there's the lack of sleep.  
> So basically; I write when I have free time and next to no stress.  
> Hopefully I'll get back on track by December (when all my coursework is due in) but either way, I'll try updating before then!

** Fifteen  **

** Gerard **

I slammed my fist down on the hood of Ray’s truck. Why were they both being so fucking difficult? I felt Ray’s comforting hand on my shoulder as he drew me in for a much needed hug. Patrick was sat on the floor, just completely sapped of all energy and overwhelmed by the thoughts of Pete being infected. God knew where Pete had wandered off to, I had yelled at Frank for being so stupid and now Mikey was with him.

“…agh.” I uttered in defeat, holding my hand out to help Patrick off the floor.

“What’s the fucking point Gerard?” he said, brushing my hand away.

“Patrick…come on.” I pleaded. “At least sit inside our truck where we won’t freeze to death.”

He shrugged but complied anyway, letting Ray bundle him into the bag seat. I wondered for a brief moment if I should go and find Pete before he did something stupid but I didn’t even know where to look. He had simply wondered off towards the horizon without a word.

I took a moment to stare at the darkening sky, I wondered if there was a god, I also wondered if there was any hope for keeping us all together. I wondered if things would’ve been different if we hadn’t have found Pete and Patrick.

“Yo Gerard.” Pete called, he was stood a little bit away but was still within earshot.

“Yeah?”

He nodded for me to follow him, we walked a little further away from the trucks, out of earshot of any of the others. “What’s going on in Frank’s head?” he asked, hands shoved in pockets and feet scuffing against the rocks we stood on.

“He’s agitated.” I told him. “Might have something to do with you threatening him…and then blatantly accusing him of causing Helena’s death.” Whilst I didn’t condone how Frank dealt with Pete, I wasn’t about to completely forget who started the entire confrontation.

“…okay I may have provoked him slightly.” He admitted, biting his lip. “It was a test really.”

“He implied that you got infected. Now Patrick’s climbing the wall or more precisely; he’s lost all will to even stand up let alone survive.”

I probably shouldn’t have told him that, I saw a flicker of rage rush over his face. “I’m gonna deck that little shit I swear.”

“Pete for fuck sake.” I snapped. “Look, I yelled at him for it, now I’m going to yell at you. Neither of you are helping resolve this situation, you’ve got Mikey torn between you, Ray and I are just beside ourselves and as I already told you; Patrick’s just lost the will to fight. If you continue like this then you might as well shove off and ride out this apocalypse by yourself.”

He seemed shocked that I would put it so bluntly. I didn’t care at this point. We would all end up dead at the rate these two were continuing. Or I would end up slapping both of them until they agreed to call a truce. I wasn’t doing this for me, I was doing this so we could actually focus on outliving the undead.

“Fine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I challenged.

“I’ll agree to talk it out with him.” He explained. “On two conditions.”

“Which are?”

“One; Mikey isn’t there. Two; You mediate it.” He said. “I don’t want Mikey hearing any of it and since you seem to think you’re in control of that shit then you can be the one to referee it.”

It seemed like a decent enough suggestion. “Okay. Tomorrow then, before we continue driving.”

“Sounds peachy.” He sighed.

**~*~**

They glared at each other. I sighed heavily. The sun was beating down on us as we sat on the tailgate of Patrick’s truck in the early morning heat, nothing like a small intervention before a day of driving.

“So, you both agreed to talk this shit out.” I said, looking from Frank to Pete. “I’m just going to make sure that you don’t come to blows over this and that you both let the other talk. Got it?”

They both nodded, I gestured for Pete to start as he suggested the idea in the first place.

“The only problem I have with you Frank, is how little you seem to care about our situation, you don’t seem focused on staying alive. You’re swooning over Mikey every second of the day and I’m not comfortable with trusting you with my life.” He said. I raised an eyebrow but looked to Frank without a word.

“You haven’t exactly been with us when we’ve had to fight off a horde.” He replied, he was keeping his cool so that was something to be thankful for. “And you don’t have to be comfortable with trusting me with _your_ life. I am focused on staying alive just as much as you are but god forbid I actually want to think about something other than the chance that I might end up dead this time next week.”

Pete inhaled deeply. “No…I don’t have to trust you…but Mikey is a good friend of mine and I’ve already lost two of my friends and probably most of my family, I don’t want to have another ripped from my life.” He wasn’t looking at Frank anymore, he was watching his fingers in his lap. “I don’t want to have anyone else die because of stupid mistakes.”

“Like Helena?” Frank uttered. “Which wasn’t my mistake, it wasn’t _anyone’s_ mistake. But no amount of self-loathing on my part would bring her back. And no amount of hatred on your part will prevent anyone dying Pete.”

I nodded, Frank was handling this quite maturely, I wondered if Mikey had spoken some sense into him.

“Speaking of Mikey though.” Pete said, lifting his head. “You love him right?”

“Yes. I do.”

“I know I can’t force you to do this for my sake, but for his sake can you promise me that you will do whatever you can to keep him alive.”

This certainly wasn’t playing out like I expected it to, I expected them to be shouting at each other and turning the air blue.

“I’ll do my best Pete.” Frank’s voice cracked slightly. “I’d rather die before seeing him get mauled.”

Pete chuckled, I didn’t like where this was going.

“That’s a funny thought.” He whispered. “Why did you tell Patrick I was infected?”

Frank’s hands clenched into fists. “I didn’t mean it. I was pissed off and I just said whatever came into my head.”

“Well you’re one to throw accusations around Frank, you’re being just as aggressive as I am.”

“Did I stutter Pete?” Frank’s voice rose slightly. “I said I didn’t mean it. I was caught in the heat of the moment, which _you_ fucking caused, and I said something that I shouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t have to get confrontational Frank. And as I’m sure you’re aware; I’ve not been in a horde situation, you have, it would only make sense to assume that you’re more likely to get infected.”

“I would’ve probably killed myself by now if that were the case.” Frank said, voice void of all sorrow. “Or killed you.”

Pete stood up, the truck shifting slightly under the weight change. “As if you could actually kill me Frank.”

Frank stood up to, I scrambled to my feet to make sure they didn’t actually try to kill each other.

“Guys, this isn’t helping.” I shouted, putting myself between them in the small tailgate space. “Calm the fuck down.”

Pete shoved me, I lost my balance and fell backwards off the tailgate, landing heavily on my shoulder. Frank snarled something and launched himself at Pete. I shouted for the others, knowing Ray would hear me at least and wonder what the fuck was going on. I lay on the dusty ground, left shoulder aching as I rolled onto my back, Frank had pinned Pete against the cab of the truck and was yelling in his face.

My brother’s face came into view as he knelt next to me and helped me sit up. Patrick and Ray had separated the other who were still snarling at one another. So much for putting all this behind us now.

“What happened Gee?” Mikey asked, casting weary glances to Frank who was fighting against Ray’s grasp.

“Pete wanted an intervention. I agreed to mediate it. It got heated. I may have bruised my shoulder when I fell off the tailgate.”

“Fell…or was shoved?” he asked as I winced.

“I dunno. Can we just make sure they don’t get left alone again?”

He helped me off the floor, Frank was resisting Ray’s attempts to hold him back, Pete just smirked. Patrick came over to see how injured I was, I shrugged, my shoulder aching but we decided that the sooner we got going the better it would be for everyone’s health.

As Ray drove in silence, Patrick following us this time around, I massaged my sore muscles. Frank was pissed off like hell but he refused to say anything to anyone about it, I wasn’t sure how Mikey felt about it all and I resisted saying anything.

We just drove, saying nothing to each other as the sun climbed in the sky and the heat rose. Greenery became scarce as we headed towards Nevada and its infamous desert, I wearily watched the gas needle drop slightly as the day progressed, the last thing I wanted was to get stranded out in the desert without gas.

There was an outpost just a little ahead of us when the sun finally set, I knew enough about this place to know that it could get dangerously cold at night. Ray nodded when I told him to pull over, Mikey muttered something about us needing to resupply the truck whilst we were here, Frank of course said nothing.

It was an outpost in dire condition, there were holes in the roof and the door was hanging off its hinges. There wasn’t going to be much rest bite here but at least we’d be out of the cold and have a chance to sleep…as long as Pete and Frank didn’t start another brawl.

Mikey was adamant that he needed to check my shoulder for bruising, Frank just stared out the window at Patrick’s truck in which neither of them had left yet.

“Holy shit Gee.” My brother breathed. “This is…it’s purple.”

I raised an eyebrow, Ray sighed and gave Frank a light shove to attract his attention. “Yo, staring at them isn’t going to help.”

“Whatever.” He coldly stated, turning to face me. “Sorry about what happened to you Gee.” He muttered, gesturing to my shoulder which was being prodded by Mikey.

“It’s okay.” I lied. “Just…please Frank stop rising to his aggression.” I pleaded. “It’s not making it any better.”

“I can’t just let him be like that though!” Frank protested, voice rising. “He’s just not listening to any of us. And he fucking shoved you off the truck!”

“Frank please--” I tried to beg him to at least calm down.

Mikey stood up quickly and pulled Frank into a tight hug. A few muttered words were exchanged before I heard a small sob, my brother coaxed Frank to sit on the floor next to me, I patted his back reassuringly.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I’m just…yeah.”

“Just don’t let him get to you.” I told him. “And that goes for all of us, don’t let anything Pete says get to you. I’m not saying he’s deliberately tearing us apart but it’s just something we need to be aware of…”

“Got it.” Ray said.

“I hear ya.” Mikey mumbled, kissing Frank’s cheek.

“Okay. So as far as I’m concerned, we travel separately and head for the coast. We share supplies with them but spend as little time as possible with them.” I said, lightly tracing the bruises with my fingers. “Is everyone cool with that?”

I got nods from all of them so that was decided. Frank asked if he could sleep rather than be on watch, I agreed that it would be best for him to do so with Mikey at his side. Ray nodded and volunteered to take first watch, I would stay up with him as long as possible.

As I slumped against the wall I sighed, this was getting beyond stupid now. It was so tempting to tell Patrick that we just couldn’t deal with Pete’s outbursts and that it was becoming unbearable to travel with them. I somehow hoped that we would run into a horde just so that some of this tension could be released through violence that didn’t result in broken friendships and bruised egos.

Then again would I really want both Frank and Pete handling firearms so quickly after a brawl?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My coursework deadlines are on the horizon...so after next friday I may actually have some free time...  
> I thank you all for your patience with this, I mean I wanted to have this fic finished by Christmas but that seems unlikely right now.  
> I'll finish it come hell or high water though!

**Sixteen**

**Frank**

We had a few precious minutes to spare the next morning when Ray and Gerard were talking to Pete and Patrick. I lightly pressed Mikey against the closed door, leaving a trail of kisses up his neck to his lips. Sweat and dirt clung to both of us but we didn’t care, when we had so few moments together alone there was little that could bother us.

“Would you have told me if this apocalypse hadn’t happened?” I asked him, breaking away briefly.

“…probably…I was just waiting for the right time.” He whispered in reply. “Would you?”

“If I knew that you were into guys then possibly.”

He leaned forward and kissed me gently, there was no lust in our exchanges, just simple affection for each other. After all; we only had each other, his brother and a good friend with us. We didn’t exactly have the privacy to do anything else anyway.

Ray returned, gave us a weak smile and gestured to the truck, Gerard followed a few moments later and told us that we were gonna try and get across most of the desert today. We were starting to become far too relaxed with just watching the world fly by and not worrying about the threat immanent death from zombies and that unsettled me, causing me to keep my knives within easy reach in the back of the truck. It was reasonably warm today which made the drive uncomfortable but it also meant it was too hot to start any arguments.

We had been travelling in silence for a while, nothing being said and very little noise otherwise, when we suddenly came to a stop in the middle of the dirt road. I jolted from my thoughts of a nice home-cooked stew when Gerard muttered something to Ray.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“Truck’s out of gas.”

“What?”

“I said the truck’s out of gas.”

Mikey looked fearfully at me, I shrugged. Patrick pulled up alongside us and raised an eyebrow. With no other option we shifted all the supplies into the other truck, even stripping Ray’s truck of any parts that matched Pete’s in case we needed them. However there was one small problem with all of us trying to cram into the other truck.

“There’s only three spare seats, one of you will have to sit in the back with all the stuff.” Pete sighed as if it was obvious. Mikey and I chose to both sit in the back so that we could both pick of any zombies we needed to. If we even came across any that was.

So we sat on top of one of the many boxes strapped into the tailgate, watching the remains of Ray’s truck disappear over the horizon. We were wearing our hoods up and had tied torn off sections of a shirt across our noses and mouths like bandanas so we wouldn’t get the desert dust in our lungs. It wasn’t comfortable in the slightest but it was better than walking, the wind which rushed past us made the heat easier to deal with.

We couldn’t say much due to the roar of the wind and the make-shift bandanas but we’d point out strange rock formations and cling on to each other when we went over rough ground, my butt was beginning to go numb when we finally came to a stop. The sun had been slowly sinking in the sky and I wondered if we were going to drive through the night at this rate.

“Why are we stopping?”  I asked Gerard as he opened the door.

“We’re gonna eat quickly before continuing to drive. Patrick wants us to get to the other side of the desert before tomorrow, he doesn’t think you two will be able to sit up there for another day in the sun.”

I smiled slightly, at least one of them was being a little bit considerate. “So how long are we stopping for?”

“Just a few minutes, you’re sat on the food box by the way.”

I shuffled over so he could open the box, finding myself leaning on Mikey as the older Way rummaged through the slowly emptying box of food. We really needed to find some more as soon as possible.

“How much do we have left?” Mikey asked, stroking my hair as Gerard sighed heavily.

“Enough for now. But not enough to waste.”

I winced slightly, knowing what he meant. “How much medical stuff do we have left?”

“Dunno. Just don’t let yourself get any worse.”

I glanced at Mikey, he nodded, sensing what I was getting at. Whilst the others set about starting a small fire going, there wasn’t much threat out here so we saw no problem with it, I led down across the back seats of the truck and let Mikey and Patrick examine my flesh wound.

“It’s healing alright I reckon.” Patrick hummed, he brushed his hair out from his eyes and shifted the flashlight slightly. “I think it could do with a wash but we’re lacking water right now.”

“Yeah, where are we headed exactly? Like is there a town or something on the other side of the desert?” Mikey asked, taping the gauze against my side again.

“I believe there’s a small town yeah, we’re staying clear of Vegas for obvious reasons. We’ll see what happens really.”

He left the two of us in the truck, I couldn’t be bothered to put my shirt back on because it was still quite hot. Mikey’s fingers moved from the gauze to my stomach, I had some bruising from my fight with Pete but I was reasonably okay other than that. He rested his head on my chest and traced circles on my skin, I ran my fingers through his hair. I felt exhausted but I knew that if we were going to be sat on the truck again that I wasn’t going to get any sleep.

“Tired?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, I just want to sleep for a few days now.” I replied, stroking his cheek slowly.

“Maybe once we get across this desert we can swap with Pete…”

“Like he wants to do anything that could benefit me.” I scoffed, withdrawing my hand from him. “He hates me Mikey.”

“He doesn’t.” he pleaded. “He’s just stressed and worried about everything.”

“So that gives him an excuse to try and beat the shit out of me?”

“Of course not!” Mikey sat up and gave me a disbelieving look. “But we just have to give everyone a little bit of breathing space Frank. You’ve flipped out, Gerard has, I’ve come close to a few times…it’s only natural right now.”

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my forehead. “Fine…forget I mentioned it.” I muttered, turning away from him and closing my eyes.

“Frank don’t--”

“Leave me alone Mikey.” I found myself saying. “I want to sleep.”

I didn’t want to imagine his expression, I knew he’d be hurt but I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. The truck rocked slightly as he left, slamming the door behind him and causing me to wince.

**~*~**

Ray was the one to wake me up. He smiled and handed me a bowl that could really do with a wash but it had stew of some sort in it so I wasn’t complaining. I was prepared to eat alone but he seemed to have other ideas.

“Spill it Frank.” he demanded, Mikey slammed the door with fury and I’m not going to forget the sting of cuss words that left his mouth.

I rolled my eyes. “I told him I wanted to be alone.”

“And?”

“Well I thought he was giving Pete shitty excuses for beating the shit out of me.”

Ray sighed, I knew what was about to head my way.

“He’s right in the respect that we all need space.”

“Yeah whatever Toro.” I scowled at the empty bowl. “Maybe I’m just not accepting that as an excuse for him shoving Gerard off the truck.”

“Like or not we’re stuck with them now.” Ray’s tone had become stern, like a teacher or parent, and I didn’t like it.

“I wish we had never met up with them.” I snapped, opening the door and bolting out into the dusk. I ignored Ray’s calls as I ran across the road and into the wilderness, pausing once I was far enough away to not be able to hear them properly.

It was quiet out here, a distant yelling could be heard but I ignored it. I was tired of it all. I hated that they kept telling me just to accept Pete’s shitty attitude towards me, I was tired of having to keep moving day after day, I was tired of panicking anytime the truck slowed down. I was tired of not being able to properly relax with Mikey like I wanted to. I was done with it all.

I knelt down on the dusty ground, it hadn’t rained here in a few days so it was baked hard and stones dug into my jeans. At first the sobs were silent, tears trickled down my cheeks and fell onto my hands that held me up, I inhaled a ragged breath and wailed into the ground. Clenched fists punched the ground, bruising would form once the blood stopped seeping from my skin. I didn’t care anymore.

After what seemed like an eternity of screaming into the ground, my voice raw and hands a bloody mess of gravel and skin, I stood up shakily. The sun had set entirely and the night was setting in, I glanced back at the truck, the headlights were on as was the interior light. Sooner or later I’d have to go back and the longer I left it the more annoyed everyone would be.

Despite the temptation to stay where I was I decided to slowly trudge back. I knew there would be yelling, glares, probably questions I’d rather not answer but there wasn’t any other option. I didn’t even get to the truck before Gerard stepped out and took me gently by the wrist. He gave me a small smile as he led me around the back.

“I’m not going to yell at you Frank.” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not going to tell you what to do either.”

“…so…”

“Mikey’s sleeping.” He told me. “So I’m going to sit in the back with you if that’s alright with you?”

I nodded slowly, bringing my hands up in front of us. “Might want to sort these out though.”

He found the medical kit and cleaned up my cuts, we didn’t have any more bandages though so I’d have to tough it out until we restocked somewhere. We settled amongst the boxes and let the others know we could finally leave. Sitting with Gerard wasn’t as relaxing as sitting with Mikey but it was still nice to have someone to be with as the world rushed by. My hands throbbed but at least they weren’t bleeding anymore.

Somehow I managed to lapse in and out of sleep, one moment it was dark and the next thing I knew the sun was peeking out from beyond the hills. I was fully stirred from sleep as the truck halted, buildings were on the horizon, Patrick was right, there was a town ahead of us.

“Why are we stopping?” I asked Gerard.

“Dunno. They probably want to prepare to face a horde…or some thugs.”

Right, yes we were still in this crazy altered reality where anyone we come across could kill us. I almost forgot.

We got off the truck and met the others, Mikey was still asleep and no-one really wanted to wake him up. Pete regarded me with an icy glare as he brushed past me, Patrick gave me a more sympathetic smile but also said nothing. Ray gestured for me to wake the younger Way up, I was reluctant to do so as I didn’t know if he was mad at me but I didn’t get much choice in the matter.

“Yo…Mikey…” I murmured, shaking him lightly. “Mikey…”

He stirred and blinked rapidly at me, not replying but simply looking at me in the dim lighting.

“I-I’m sorry about earlier.” I blurted out. “You were trying to cut Pete some slack because he’s tired yet I’m just ignoring that for the same reason.”

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t really react at all. I swallowed as I tried to find more words to apologise with.

“Mikey I don’t know what else to say, I’m just all over the place, blaming Pete, blaming myself…” I held up my bruised and cut hands. “Taking it out on myself too.”

He reached out a hand and beckoned me closer, cradling my wounded hands in his and pressing his lips to them.

“I understand.” He murmured after a few moments. “Frank…remember what Gee said; you can’t let Pete get the better of you. He knows you’re quick to anger and it’ll only fuel the fire.”

I nodded, my hands resting on his thigh as he continued speaking quietly.

“I love you Frank and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You need to curb your anger though, you know how it always goes down in the movies; the two people who argue the most end up dead either cause one killed the other or the zombies got to them because of their carelessness.”

“I know.” I whispered, bumping my forehead against his. “I’ll try. I swear to god I’ll try.”

“Promise me Frank.” he demanded, pulling away from me. “Promise me that you will honestly try to stop letting him get to you.”

The look in his eyes sent a chill down my spine. “I promise Mikey.”

He nodded slightly, taking my hand cautiously and running his fingers over my healing cuts. “And stop taking it out on your body…”

“I just lost it.”

“I know.”

“…I don’t want to risk losing you.”

A knock on the window spurred us from our conversation, it was time to get going again. I planted a quick kiss on his cheek before retreating outside again, he smiled but said nothing. Gerard greeted me with a smile and I briefly explained that things were okay between Mikey and I, Pete snorted and slammed the passenger doors shut behind him, Patrick gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder but didn’t linger long either.

“Well I guess we’re headed towards a town?” Ray asked, appearing to continue a conversation they had been having.

“I guess? You wanna sit up top with us and help keep a lookout?” Gerard replied. “You’re a better shot.”

Ray shrugged. “Is there even room with the two of you?”

“…no…not really.”

“I don’t trust myself in there with Pete.” I interrupted. “Not right now.”

“Then that’s settled. Frank will ride with you and I’ll take my turn in the truck.” Gerard declared.

We didn’t argue, it wasn’t a problem, if anything I was glad they were finally listening to me when I said I didn’t want to be lumped with Pete. Ray and I positioned ourselves in the back of the truck, this time was different to last because we actually had weapons in our hands; Ray with the hunting rifle and me with the over-sized breadknife we picked up from the barn a few days ago. We also weren’t exactly sat on the boxes, we perched on the sides of the tailgate so we could watch the road in front of us as well as behind us.

“You gonna be okay? Is your side healed enough?” Ray asked over the racket the truck’s wheels made against the gravelly road.

“I’ll be fine Toro.” I said, voice muffled by the bandana. The sunlight was strong as the town crept closer, I clutched the handle of the knife as we watched the buildings approach us. The truck slowed slightly, causing it to quieten as we rolled past the first few buildings. We’d have to find gas somewhere soon after the desert crossing if we hoped to keep this truck.

The town just seemed empty, no signs of struggle were apparent, there was no blood or bodies to speak of. The buildings were all intact, there was simply a lack of people. We halted in the middle of an intersection, the engine still running as Gerard stepped out one side and Mikey the other, both of them with a small gym bag and a weapon of sorts.

“So…now what?” I called down.

“You and Mikey go east, Toro and I go west. Pete and Patrick get gas and meet us back here as soon as they can.” Gerard told us. “We grab what supplies we can find and avoid any dangerous situations…got it?”

I nodded and jumped down to join Mikey, pulling my bandana down so I could talk clearer as we set off at a fast walk. We were on food duty apparently so we scouted the area for mini-marts and any other kind of stores which could hold food. I found a vending machine and slammed my shoulder against it until it fell over, using the knife to force it open so we could raid it of candy bars.

The further we walked the more eerie the town seemed, there was very little sign of anyone anywhere. The only thing that had changed was that we could see there was an essence of panic when everyone left, we kept finding doors wide open, cars abandoned in haphazardly parked positions and the odd suitcase just in the middle of the road.

“You think they got evacuated?” I asked Mikey as he cleared out a small convenience store of tinned food whilst I stood guard.

“Possibly. They certainly didn’t die here.” He replied. “It’s weird as fuck.”

I grunted, absent-mindedly kicking a trashcan outside the store. The noise echoed down the street, I thought nothing of it. We weren’t in immediate danger here, there was no reason to be overly cautious.

“Okay I think we can head back.” Mikey declared, zipping the bag up and heaving it onto his shoulder.

I nodded, walking beside him as we started making our way back to the rendezvous with the others. Something felt off, more than the abandonment of the town, just something _else_.

“Do you hear something?” Mikey asked, pausing and looking around. “Like…crunching?”

I listened, I wasn’t sure what he was getting at exactly. “No…”

He scowled at the ground. “It’s coming from…” he pointed to the left of us, a set of fire doors were open and beckoning us into the darkness.

“This isn’t a good idea Mikey.” I said immediately. If there was something in there then I sure as hell didn’t want to disturb it.

“Come on Frank. It could be another survivor.”

I swallowed, I really didn’t want to go but he was already walking towards it with his flashlight out. I hoped it was just a dog or something that I could easily take out if it attacked him. As we got closer to the doors I could hear the crunching he was talking about, it sounded like glass but then again it could very well be something much more sinister.

“Hello?” Mikey called. “Is there someone here?”

I gripped the knife in my hand, preparing myself for the worst. The crunching stopped, a slight shuffle came out but then silence. Mikey shone the flashlight into the darkness; it was a stairwell down into what I wanted to believe was just a sewer system or maybe a storeroom. As the beam roved over the walls we caught sight of a familiar sign of life.

“Blood.” I stated. “So something is or was alive.”

“Should we investigate?” Mikey asked, looking at me with unsure eyes. “I mean…there’s something down here…you heard it too.”

I thought for a few moments, Gerard would probably go mental if he knew about this, then again we knew it was here now so we’d have to live with the never-ending curiosity of what was making the noise if we didn’t look into it.

“Quickly.” I uttered.

He nodded, slowly taking the first step down the stairwell. We progressed down at a snail’s pace, I was aware that we’d probably be keeping the others waiting at this rate but that wasn’t really important at that second. When we reached the bottom of the stairs there was a hallway leading off, it was dark and stank slightly of stale water and iron – which we associated with blood – after a few seconds of waiting we took a few more steps forward.

“Shit.” Mikey hissed, flashlight falling on a figure at the other end of the hallway. We froze, staring at the mass, I hoped to hell it hadn’t noticed us but my hopes were dashed when it began walking, or rather stumbling at great speed, towards us. I tugged sharply on Mikey’s shoulder and started running.

We burst out into the sunlight but didn’t stop, I knew it was behind us as I could hear grunts and snarls of anger at being disturbed. My side burned as we ran two blocks to our rendezvous, thankfully the truck was there and as I predicted; everyone was waiting for us. Ray spotted us first, raising the rifle at whatever the hell was following us and firing three shots. Mikey and I ran straight into the truck, regardless of Gerard yelling that we were okay.

“What the fuck was it?” I gasped, holding my side as I doubled over.

“I-I don’t know.” Mikey replied, flinging the bag into the back of the truck.

Gerard and Patrick went over to prod at the now motionless corpse of whatever had spooked us. Pete glared at me and sighed.

“Go on then.” He uttered. “What the fuck did you do Frank?”

Mikey whirled around immediately and gave Pete a disbelieving expression. “Actually it was _my_ idea to go after it.” He said. “Frank told me it was a bad idea but I wanted to check it out anyway.”

I didn’t say anything. The last thing I was going to do was make the situation worse. Gerard and Patrick returned with somewhat confused expressions and halted all arguments.

“Well it seemed…like it was some kind of mutant.” Gerard told us all. “God knows what happened to them…or how long they have been here.”

“Either way it’s dead.” Patrick finished. “And I think we should hurry up and get out of here before any more of them appear.”

I wasn’t about to argue with that. Pete and Ray would ride in the back, Gerard would be driving with Patrick navigating leaving me with Mikey in the back seat. I collapsed into his hold almost immediately, he held me tightly and kissed my forehead, mumbling over and over again how he was sorry for nearly getting us killed.

I told him it didn’t matter, we had survived and that was the main thing. At least we were still alive and relatively unharmed. I wondered how much longer we’d be this lucky.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the stupidly long wait!  
> I've been all over the place recently, it's very much an emotional rollercoaster these days.

**Seventeen**

**Gerard**

“So they’re mutating so they can survive?” I mused as we left the town quickly. There were a few more mutated zombies roaming the streets but we either avoided them or they were picked off before they became a problem.

“I guess so. It makes sense although it’s been a very quick adaptation.” Patrick replied, turning around in his seat slightly. “Did it start chasing you guys before or after you startled it?” he asked Mikey as Frank seemed to be asleep.

“As far as I remember…it was after.” Mikey said slowly, stroking Frank’s head as he lay across the back seats with his head in Mikey’s lap.

“And you went into the sewer system why?” I asked, slightly irritated.

“We heard something moving around so I wanted to find out what it was, then we found the blood and it all kind of down-spiralled from there.”

I sighed, thankful that they were able to make it out of there alive but not overly amused at their idea.

“It was my idea anyway Gee.” He added. “Frank was set against it.”

I didn’t really blame either of them, I was beginning to stop caring how or why things happened and just focus on living. Sure I could’ve yelled at Mikey for being reckless but what good would that do really? It would only cause tension and negative emotions.

“Well you’re both alive and you won’t be so stupid next time.” I stated. “Right?”

“Yeah.” Mikey uttered.

“Where are we headed then Patrick?” I asked, we had just managed to get out of the town and now there was just barren wilderness in front of me as I drove.

“Over those mountains.” He said, pointing at the peaks on the horizon. “Then we’ll be in California.”

I was feeling optimistic about our chances now, we had survived up to this point. Sure we had been lucky in the fact we hadn’t seen many hordes, which actually worried me slightly. Frank seemed to have calmed himself down from the Pete situation which was good, I breathed a sigh of relief when they didn’t come to blows earlier.

“So when we get there…what then?” I hesitantly asked, glancing at Patrick. We had grown close during the late night watches and long drives, especially as Pete and Frank were feuding for most of it. I trusted Patrick as much as I trusted Ray, we had all subconsciously become the parents in this situation and we felt like we had to at least have a plan for when we eventually reach Cali.

“Well we either find a boat or find somewhere to hole up until…uh…” he broke off, not quite wanting to finish the sentence. “Just survive in.”

“Kay.” I murmured, easing the accelerator down. I hoped our luck of not coming across any hordes would last at least a little longer.

**~*~**

Another shot rang out from the back of the truck. I cussed under my breath as I tried to avoid the burnt out cars and bodies led in the road. We hadn’t quite expected this, heck we didn’t even know that it had spread here so violently. There was very little we could do now though other than hope to hell that we could lose the thugs that were stationed just inside the state border.

“I hope they have plenty of ammo up there.” I heard myself utter.

“They do.” Patrick replied, turning to Frank and Mikey in the back seats. “You two ready to help?”

Frank nodded, turning his knife over in his hands, Mikey reluctantly gripped one of the small handguns and nodded slowly. I didn’t want them out there any much than they wanted to be but there wasn’t much else we could do. The sunroof was popped open, wind howled inside the van as they heaved themselves up and onto the roof, I made a point to slow down so they wouldn’t immediately fall off the truck.

“Who the fuck would even camp out on the border anyway?” I asked Patrick, conscious of the other truck in the wing mirror reflection.

“Thugs.” He replied. “I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s easy to pick off unsuspecting survivors.”

Which is exactly what had happened; we approached the border with no suspicion other than looking for hordes. As soon as we had passed into California the gunfire had started and all hell broke loose.

“Turn left up there.” He told me. “It looks like a town, we might be able to lose them.”

I nodded, hoping that the others would be okay when I violently turned the truck off the main road and onto a dirt track. I heard a string of cuss words but no cries for help, for that I was thankful for. My hands gripped the wheel as the truck bounced over the track, I was only aiming to drive into the town so that we could gather our thoughts before we ended up dead. It was testing my ability to keep calm under pressure. I pulled the window down and yelled to the others;

“Guys are they still gaining on us?”

“They’ve dropped back but they’re still following us.” Frank called back. “Just keep driving.”

I glanced to Patrick who nodded. I eased the accelerator down further hoping to hell that there weren’t any huge potholes ahead.

**~*~**

After what seemed like an hour of tense driving I pulled over. We hadn’t stopped in the town and now the truck was running low on gas. I sighed heavily as we all huddled together on the roof of the truck surrounded by Californian wilderness.

“So now what?” Mikey asked.

“There’s not much we can do.” Patrick said. “The truck’s as good as dead without gas.”

“We walk?” Frank suggested. “But to where?”

Ray pulled out a map from his back pocket, laying it on top of the boxes we sat around in the fading light of day.

“Well I know it sounds suicidal but there’s a military base not too far from here.” He murmured, pointing to a spot on the map. “It’s either going to be filled with soldiers or it’s going to be filled with supplies.”

It was all I could do to not groan. “Well we haven’t got much of a choice. How far away is it?”

“About ten miles.”

“That would take…four maybe five hours?” Mikey added.

“We’re not walking anywhere until it’s daylight.” Pete stated, gripping the rifle. “If there are thugs here then there’s bound to be more zombies.”

So we agreed to wait it out, which we had been doing a lot of, until morning. There wasn’t much to do other than just watch our surroundings for any threats, the food supplies were low but we had enough for one decent meal before we’d have to start rationing.

We got the camping lantern out and placed it on top of the cab next to Ray, Pete sat swinging his legs off the back of the tailgate with rifle in hand to shoot if needed, Patrick had enlisted Frank’s help in trying to get any spare gas into the tank from the reserves we had…which was proving unsuccessful.

“You think the base will be abandoned?” Mikey asked me as he opened our last can of ravioli.

“I hope not.” I replied. “I want to know that there are some people out there with some sense left.”

“But…they could kill us…” he uttered so no-one else would hear. “I mean we’ve all been in a horde of sorts…”

“Don’t think about that Mikey.” I said, anxious to keep him from jumping to the worst case scenario.

“But Gerard-”

We were interrupted by Pete’s rifle firing, he jumped up and lined up another shot before firing again. Ray followed suit when he caught sight of the bodies making for us. I shoved Mikey to pick up the first weapon he could as I reached for the small handgun on my belt.

“Oh shit…that’s a fucking horde.” I heard Frank mutter to Patrick, drawing his knife out in front of him.

We were going to be overwhelmed soon if we didn’t do something, no-one was going to take charge. The automatic machine gun screamed into life as Patrick took matters into his own hands. I watched bodies fall only to be replaced by others in mere seconds. My hands shook as I lined up shots, Pete’s arms were steadier and more accurate despite the sweat collecting on his back. In the split second that we stopped firing to reload I saw Frank launch himself at  them, knife poised and body tensed.

Mikey lingered for a few moments before following, I hoped the duct tape would be enough to stop them getting seriously hurt. Blood pooled on the ground, the stench of decay and rot was overpowering but I ignored it as best as I could, trying to line up shots without hitting my brother or Frank.

“There’s too many of them.” Ray shouted to me. “We need to get out of here.”

“The truck’s as good as dead.” Patrick shouted back.

“We can at least try.” Pete announced, jumping down and tugging on his friend. “You drive I’ll shoot.”

Frank had been pinned by a zombie and was screaming blue murder for help, I shot it in the head; spilling blood all over him but freeing him all the same. Mikey decapitated one whose jaw hung down grotesquely, flesh ripping like fabric.

The truck rumbled into life, I called for the two of them to run before it was too late. Ray continued firing in an attempt to clear a path for them but there were just too many zombies for the two of us to dispose of. Pete’s rifle fired once but then fell silent as he reloaded. The wheels squealed as Patrick readied to leave, Mikey grabbed Frank’s hand and hauled him to start sprinting, both of them were covered in blood and dirt.

The brakes were released before they reach the truck, I nearly fell off the back as Patrick sped away, I yelled at him to slow down enough for the others to catch up but my shouts fell on deaf ears.

Ray struck his fist on the roof of the cab but they too were left without an answer. I hung onto the crates and reached out to Mikey. The truck continued to gain speed, putting more distance between us and them, Frank tripped and fell face first into the dirt, Mikey stopped to help him and with that they quickly faded from our sight; the road turning into heavy foliage.

I was furious. Pete had gone on and on about how he wanted to protect Mikey and now he was abandoning his so called best friend.

“Ray I’m going after them.” I declared, grabbing a backpack with limited supplies and jumping. My knees hitting the ground first and my shoulder following. The sound of the truck faded quickly, I groaned and rolled onto my back.

“You’re and idiot Gerard.” Ray muttered beside me. I blinked in confusion before remembering what had happened, scrambling to my feet despite my knees protesting.

“Mikey!” I called. “Frank!”

Ray stood next to me, dusting himself down before cupping his hands over his mouth. “Frank!”

“Ray!” A hysterical call replied. We ran down the road to find Frank still on the floor and Mikey knelt next to him. The horde wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“Oh god.” Mikey hiccupped. “Frank you gotta stay awake.”

I knelt next to him and turned Frank over, his nose was bleeding, arms cut through the duct tape, fingers bloodied and knife covered in god knows what. He tried to say something but was cut short my gut-wrenching coughing and spluttering.

“Lie still Frank.” I told him, taking control of the situation. “Ray, you keep a lookout and shoot anything that moves.”

“Got it.” He murmured.

“Mikey, hold him still whilst I figure out what the fuck to do.”

My brother nodded, placing his hands on either side of Frank’s head, lightly stroking Frank’s cheek in an attempt to calm him down.

I tore off the duct tape, ignoring Frank’s screams of agony, rummaging through the backpack and pulling out a shirt which quickly became rags that would have to suffice for bandages. Tightly wrapping up his cuts reminded me to check his side which probably took a battering during the encounter. The bandages had been torn open and the wound was bleeding again. I cussed loudly and used the remaining rags to try and patch it up but I knew that it wouldn’t be enough. We had to get him to a safer place before I could even think about attempting to sort it out again.

“Where are we even going to go?” I uttered more to myself than the others.

“We’ll just have to walk until we find somewhere.” Mikey replied, he was on the edge of hysteria.

Frank wasn’t going to be walking anywhere in his state. “Ray, would you be able to carry him?”

“I guess, but someone else will have to be on gun duty.”

“I can do that. Mikey can still use his knife.”

I helped Frank onto Ray’s back, he was drifting in and out of consciousness which was concerning but I put that out of my mind as we started walking, we only had one flashlight between us and it was getting dark quickly. We were still processing just what had happened as we walked in silence.

The night passed without incident, our feet ached and my shoulders were on fire, Frank had been asleep for a while when we finally stumbled across a wooden shack. We carefully laid him down on the floor, using my jacket as a pillow, and emptied the backpack that I had grabbed as I leapt from the truck.

“So we have three cans of beans, two shirts, a bottle of water and a singular role of bandages.” I sighed.

“That was from the last haul correct?” Ray murmured.

I nodded, casting a glance to Mikey lying next to the still unconscious Frank. I didn’t want to say what was on my mind; that Frank’s injuries were beyond any help unless we found someone with medical know-how. I didn’t want to do that to my brother, he had finally been accepted by the guy he loved and I wasn’t about to tell him that there was a chance he’d lose him all over again.

“So now what’s the plan?” Ray asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t know anymore Ray.” I uttered. “I just don’t know.”

Mikey started sobbing into Frank’s motionless shoulder, I felt my heart sinking as I watched him put an arm around Frank, desperate for his touch and comfort.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's too many possible endings swimming around in my head for me to focus on one. I'm debating combining two or three different ideas - either way you can probably tell that I'm making this up as I go along.  
> Thanks for reading!

**Eighteen**

**Frank**

My vision was foggy, my head ached, my side burned with just the simple movement of my arm which also screamed in pain. I didn’t know where I was, all I knew was that Pete had abandoned me and Mikey.

_Mikey_.

I forced my head to turn so I could take in my surroundings. A small wooden shack was all I could conclude from the darkness, Gerard was sat outside the doorway in the fading light of day, my eyes focused on the body curled tightly next to me and made my breath hitch slightly.

“M-Mikey?” I whispered, wondering if he was asleep.

He bolted upright, hair stuck up in odd places and rubbed his eyes. “Frank.”

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?” he murmured, pressing his forehead gently to mine.

“W-What happened? How did we get here?” I asked, to preoccupied with our current plight to care about my injuries.

“Answer the question Frank.” he sighed. “Then I can explain the rest to you.”

I told him where I ached, he slowly inspected each area with a soft touch as I just stared at the ceiling and breathed through the pain. He spoke quietly as he told me how Pete and Patrick had driven off, Gerard and Ray jumping off the tailgate to find us in the middle of the road, the walk through the night until they found this shack which is our base for the next few days whilst I regained my strength.

“So…what then?” I asked once he had finished and knelt next to me.

He shrugged. “I just think we should try and outlive it. At this point there’s no point trying to fight it back…we just have to coexist and hope they die out.”

“Here? Or somewhere else?”

He shrugged again. “I dunno. I don’t care as long as we live.”

We were silent for a few moments, a light breeze blew in through the doorway. I reached up and stroked his cheek, coaxing him down to kiss me, blood still stained my lips from me face-planting the dirt and I could taste it as our lips met. His hands held my face in place as he leaned closer, strands of hair brushing against my forehead.

I felt sleepy, Mikey stroked my cheek as he settled against the wall; resting my head on his lap so I could use Gerard’s jacket as a blanket. I was struggling to comprehend what was going on anymore, all I could register was that we were alone once again, only worse off this time.

I awoke to the sound of Ray giving Gerard the run-down on our options for surviving on our own. There was talk of heading towards the military base but it was quickly scrapped when they considered how far away it was from where we were.

“How far do you think you can walk Frank?” Ray asked quietly, I was still barely able to sit up without wincing in pain. As far as standing up went; I had to get Mikey to practically carry me outside to take a piss and then carry me inside again. There wasn’t anything _wrong_ with my legs, it was more to do with my vision going blurred and nearly vomiting everywhere whenever I tried to move that hindered me at this point.

“Well unless someone’s going to carry me…not very far.” I uttered, burying my face in Mikey’s shirt to try and suppress the headache forming.

Gerard hummed in thought, the night had crawled in slowly so we were now all crammed into the small shack and barricaded the door. There had been a lack of zombies throughout our time here but we weren’t letting our guard down again. The one positive thing that had happened whilst I was unconscious was that Ray found a few abandoned cars with some supplies in; another flashlight by sheer dumb luck, a worn out blanket that somehow still kept me warm, some matches so now we could at least have a fire and what seemed to be a sharing bag of chips.

I had spent what little time I had been awake wondering why Pete and Patrick left us. It didn’t make any sense to me, okay it made _a little_ bit of sense in that Pete probably still despised me and thought I was done for so he cut his losses.

But abandoning Mikey was a different story.

I hadn’t mentioned any of this to him yet, I figured that he didn’t want to talk about it as we sat there in dim glow of the flashlight. I sighed heavily and tried to force myself to sleep.

“So we’re stuck here then?” Gerard murmured quietly.

“I guess.” Ray replied in a hushed tone. “Should we just settle here for a while?”

Silence fell before Gerard spoke again. “We don’t have a choice really.”

There was no word on why we were abandoned, I had a feeling that Gerard knew more than he was letting on but I wasn’t going to bring it up.

**~*~**

A few days passed, we barely scraped by with what little supplies we had. I had regained enough strength to stand on my own without he overwhelming urge to vomit, we had fended off a few wondering zombies but nothing anywhere near to a horde.

“You fancy keeping watch with me tonight Frank?” Ray asked, I hadn’t been outside very much and could use the fresh air so I agreed.

“You reckon we’ll be leaving soon?” I asked him as we sat around the small fire we had assembled. The night had come quickly, a sign that fall was approaching.

“I hope so. We’re pretty much out of food now, we could start hunting wildlife but I’m not overly hyped about staying in this tiny shack...we need a warmer place for the winter.”

I nodded, watching the last traces of sunlight disappear from the sky, we spoke for a little while about how we thought we were going to survive the winter before I inevitably brought up the taboo subject.

“Why did Pete leave us?” I muttered, not wanting to risk the others hearing.

Ray stroked the stubble that was collecting on his chin, sighing heavily and poking the fire with a stick. “I honestly don’t know.” He replied eventually. “I would suspect that he was spooked and just wanted to secure Patrick’s safety as well as his own.”

“But why leave Mikey? I don’t get it...”

“He may have thought that either you’d be able to protect him or that you were both done for...”

The fire snapped and crackled, the dry leaves burning steadily. I glared at the dancing embers as if they were the enemy here.

“And Gerard and I weren’t about to leave you, I’m pretty sure Gee’s shoulder is still bruised from where he landed on it.”

We were quiet for a while, letting the nocturnal wildlife provide ambience, it was chilling how quiet it was without the sounds of passing traffic.

“There’s something bugging me.”

“What?” he asked.

“Well...it’s pretty stupid.”

“I won’t tell anyone, what’s up?”

I smiled briefly. “Thanks Toro...” I uttered, wiping my now sweaty hands on my torn up jeans. “It’s about Mikey.”

“Go on.”

“Is he a...you know.” I said, losing the courage to finish my sentence.

“A what?”

I wiped my hands again and cleared my throat, focusing my gaze on the fire.

“Do you know if he’s...had sex before?”

Ray stroked his stubble again before laughing slightly. “You know it’s never really come up in conversation Frank.” He replied in a slightly sarcastic tone.

I cracked up. “So you don’t know.”

“I never said that.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

I bit my lip, no I couldn’t ask him myself.

“You are a thing now right?” He continued. “Surely there’s nothing wrong with asking?”

He had a point, I just never had the courage to even suggest we have sex, the closest we’d gotten was heavily making out yesterday whilst we were left alone, and we didn’t have any supplies anyway so it was kind of a moot point.

“I guess.”

Ray chuckled. “Although I don’t know when you’d be able to do it, we’re all in pretty close quarters here and I don’t think Gee wants to be around when it happens.”

I laughed at the thought of Gerard plugging his ears, then went quiet when thinking about actually doing it with Mikey.

“And now you’re thinking about it.”

“What? No!”

“You’ve gone red Frank, I don’t think the fire’s that hot.” He chuckled. I covered my face with my hands, this was going to be a long night.

**~*~**

“So we’re stopping when exactly?” Mikey asked Gerard as we trudged through another field. We had been walking pretty much since sunrise and we were tired. Lack of places to stop overnight was the main problem, and the lack of food was also a small problem.

“When we find a decent place.” Gerard replied.

“Which could be when exactly?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

I rolled my eyes, the good thing about all this walking was being able to hold Mikey’s hand for long periods of time, although I would’ve preferred having a car or something so our feet wouldn’t end up blistered like fuck.

“I’m starving.” I sighed, knowing that there wasn’t anything we could do about it.

“Same.” Mikey murmured.

We walked for god knows how long, there was no way to tell other than looking at the sun’s position in the sky. I really hoped we’d find somewhere soon, I was actually getting worried that we’d end up starving.

It was just getting dark when we stumbled across a farmhouse, that was a blessing in itself, what was miraculous was that there were some traces of food left in the cupboards, sure it was a little stale and required heating up to be even edible but it was better than nothing.

Gerard volunteered to sit on watch which left me and Mikey to curl up on a couch, Ray nudged me as I passed him on the way to take a piss.

“Ask him.”

“ _Ray_.” I hissed, paranoid that Mikey could hear us.

He chuckled and went back to rummaging through the kitchen cupboards for more food. I sighed and went about my business before retreating to Mikey’s comforting hold. We didn’t speak, we just lay there pressed against each other, whilst he seemed more or less at peace I was not.

“Say...can I ask you something?” I uttered against his neck, pressing my lips gently to his skin.

“Sure, what is it?” he hummed, running his fingers down my back.

“I-I don’t mean to be...uh...nosy.” I stammered, the words refusing to form a decent sentence. “But it’s been on my mind for a while...”

He gently lifted my face so we barely inches from each other. “What is it Frank?” he asked, an anxious look came over his face as I um-ed and ah-ed.

“It’s nothing bad!” I quickly stated, trying to defuse the tension.

“Then what is it?”

“I just wondered, considering you haven’t really come out to anyone, if you’ve ever had sex?”

He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. “Is that all?”

I hesitantly nodded.

“Jesus Frank you scared the crap out of me.” He murmured. “And for the record; no I haven’t.”

I said nothing, afraid that I had annoyed him, I was put at ease when he started laughing and pulled me closer to him.

“And I thought I was the one with crippling anxiety Frank.” he sighed.

I snorted and kissed his cheek. “Shut up.” I whined.

“God dammit, you did scare the shit out of me though.”

“What did you think I was gonna say?”

“I don’t know, that was the problem, it could’ve been anything for all I knew.” He replied. “Why do you wanna know anyway?”

I felt myself blush. “Uh…well…”

He snorted, smiling as he shifted so we were face-to-face on the couch. “I love you Frank.”

“I love you too Mikey.”

“So…when…I mean.”

“When we actually have privacy?” he suggested, kissing my forehead. “Until then let’s just put it out of our minds yeah? Thinking about it will just make it seem more important than it is…”

I nodded hastily. “Alright.”

At least that was one thing settled, and at least we had a decent roof over our heads for a day or two. I put the rest of my worries about what we were going through out of my mind and sighed. Sleep slowly creeping into my sore body and enveloping me in darkness.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire chapter in one sitting.  
> Saturday afternoon well spent. *fist pumps the air*  
> Also a buttload of research was done to write this chapter, god bless the internet.

**Nineteen**

**Gerard**

The stars in the sky set me at ease, it was a little colder tonight than the last few which reminded me that fall was approaching quickly. What was on my mind most was trying to find somewhere to fortify ahead of the colder months, winter was going to be hard to get through but I was determined to survive; we hadn’t come this far to die of frostbite.

“Don’t you think it’s weird how we haven’t come across or even heard of any other survivors?”

I looked to Ray as we sat in the master bedroom that looked out over the farmland. “A little.”

“It certainly feels as if this is more than just a zombie apocalypse.”

“Are you really suggesting conspiracy theories Toro?” I snorted. “Are you trying to suggest that there’s a secret government motive?”

“How else would you explain how martial law wasn’t declared?”

He had me there. Normally when chaos of this scale erupted the military would take over and restore peace one way or another, yet there had been no sight or sound of them really, not since we left Jersey anyway.

“Maybe they just got tied up dealing with the rest of the country so quickly.” I sighed, I didn’t want to believe this was all orchestrated for the sole purpose of killing off the entire fucking country.

“Or maybe there was a reason the entire eastern part of America hasn’t survived.”

“Ray…can we stop talking about how or why…” I murmured. “Can we just focus on how to survive?”

Ray seemed reluctant to drop the topic but he nodded, I knew it would be eating at him, I guessed that it should’ve been eating at me too but I didn’t really feel as if it was worth worrying about. The point was that we were forced to rely on whatever know-how we had just to make it through another day alone. How or why the entire country was practically dead was irrelevant in a way unless the same happened to us.

“So what do we do first?” he asked. “Are we staying here or moving on?”

I thought for a few moments, this house was structurally sound enough for now with calm weather so we _could_ remain here for a few days, maybe a week or two until the rains came, at least there was less chance of snow here.

“We could stay here for a while, assuming we find some water and food…this house is pretty sturdy so we could fix it up a little with the furniture still in here.” I replied. “Sound good to you?”

He nodded. “We do need to get Frank seen to though…or at least cleaned up.”

“We can check if there’s a water tank here, if there isn’t then we’ll need to find a stream or something…that should be our first priority.”

We continued going through each resource we’d need and how we could obtain it, soon we had a plan in place to put into play when the morning came. We simply waited for the sun to steadily rise on the horizon so we could get on with it.

**~*~**

With Frank more or less able to move independently; him and Ray set out to find some firewood, whilst there was a stove here we were not going to risk a gas leak, whilst Mikey and I would investigate the house’s basement in hopes that there would be a water tank. Sadly there was no tank, although we did find some old newspapers that could be used for kindle for the fireplace.

We stripped every room in the house except the lounge of its furniture so we had an idea of what materials we had to use. There was a lot of wood from chairs and cabinets that we broke down, some of it would be fashioned into weapons and tools but a good portion would be used to start fires. The kitchen had some appliances left inside cupboards; three pans to boil water and foodand even a frying pan was left but we weren’t sure whether to save it as a last resort weapon. Glass jars were now filled with nails that I pried out of the various chairs we had found, I expected that Ray could hammer them into a spiked club of some sorts.

“There’s quite a bit of stuff here.” Mikey stated as he picked through on of the piles of curtains we had stripped from windows. “What should we do with these?”

“We could either attempt to make clothes or save them for bandaging.”

“I think bandaging would be a better shout, who knows how long it’ll be before Frank injures himself.”

“Speaking of which, we need to find water soon so we can properly clean his wounds.”

Mikey nodded, he seemed to have his head screwed on now which was a good thing, we were all slowly coming to terms with what we were dealing with.

“So how do we find water?” he asked.

“I guess we just look for animals and see if they lead us somewhere…”

“That could take days.”

“We could set out one of the pans out to collect rain water…when it rains.”

When Ray and Frank returned they had a decent amount of sticks and plants, Frank seemed to know of some edible plants and leaves that could be used as medicine so he had picked any he could find.

“What is this?” I asked, picking out a white flowering plant from the cluster of sticks.

“Oh…that’s a weed that…um shit it know this.” Frank uttered, taking it from me. “That’s right it stops bleeding when it’s been crushed up.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How many survival shows have you seen?” I joked.

“Too many.” He replied with a smile. “It’s the only decent thing on daytime tv sometimes, and you know how many days of school I missed with various colds and flus.”

At least he was happy that he knew how to help us. We needed all the knowledge we could muster right now. Mikey helped Frank preserve the plants he had collected in some of the jars whilst I put the firewood in a pile. We still needed to eat today and we had nearly run out of food.

“Ray?”

“Yeah?” he answered, looking up from the collection of jars Frank had filled.

“Did you see any animals whilst out?”

“We did find a river.”

I stared at him. “Why didn’t you say sooner?”

“It’s pretty close by, I thought you would’ve seen it.”

I sighed but laughed slightly. “Well show me?”

We left Mikey and Frank to sort out the rest of the materials whilst Ray walked me off the farmland and into the nearby woodland. The foliage was thicker than usual but we could still make our way easily through, I could tell where him and Frank had walked earlier by the pathways and footprints. It took less than five minutes to reach the river; it was fairly deep and flowed at a decent speed.

“You think it has fish?”

“It’s possible. If not then I’m sure hares and foxes come by to drink.”

“Foxes?”

“Frank found some tracks that looked like a fox.”

“So how much do you know about trapping?”

“Beside simply digging a hole? Not much.”

So it seemed that I’d have to figure out how to trap a fox, Mikey and I knew basic snaring techniques from our father and from tv but we’d never attempted anything bigger than a rabbit.

“Also Frank said something about bears being an issue.” Ray added as he showed me the tracks that Frank had found. “If there’s no-one keeping the numbers down…or at least keeping them away from the cities then they’ll probably venture closer to us.”

“So we have to look out for bears as well as zombies…” I concluded.

“Yeah…fun right?” he remarked, putting a hand on my shoulder. “About what I said last night, I didn’t mean to drag you down with the conspiracy theories, I’m just trying to make sense of it all…”

“I know Ray, it’s okay.” I replied, drawing him in for a much needed hug. “But let’s try and focus on staying alive, it seems that we have enough resources to get by…”

“So how _do_ we trap a fox?”

“Snares are generally good, but we have no wire that I know of.”

We started making our way back, trying to think of an alternative for wire. The others had separated all the supplies out and were sat on the couch cuddling. I cleared my throat and explained our current thoughts to them both. Mikey immediately suggested shoelaces which I disregarded as we’d go through all our shoelaces before catching anything with our luck, I asked Frank if he knew of any plants that could be useful.

“When we were by the river I saw some that might work.”

I rolled my eyes slightly as we went on another journey to the river, Frank pointed to the cattails that grew on the bank and explained how they were going to require some work but they would be suitable.

An hour later Frank and I had set up two snares near the fox tracks, I knew from experience that it might take a few days for us to catch anything but we had a tiny amount of edible plants to eat so we’d hopefully be okay until then. Mikey had built a small fire in our absence in the fully operational fireplace and had started boiling river water so we could drink it.

“Question; the bathroom doesn’t work does it?” I asked.

“Nope.” My brother responded. “So we’re gonna have to go primal with this shit and do it outside.”

“Great.” Frank sarcastically replied, flopping down on the couch and closing his eyes.

It was beginning to get dark, the only light we had was the fire and we wanted to save the flashlights for emergencies at this point. I considered making a cloth torch like in the video games but decided that we better save the rags for any injuries we got. Ray appeared from upstairs where we had made the master bedroom the lookout, he told me that there was no sign of danger so he slumped down near the fire.

It was only our first day of properly setting out to survive as opposed to just constantly moving. I felt like we could make this work if the snares were successful and the zombies stayed away. Mikey started boiling another pan of water so he could follow Frank’s instructions on how to eat some of the plants he had found earlier. Sure it was gonna be rough for a while, I hoped that maybe we’d find some other survivors at some point or they’d find us.

I actually kind of hoped that Pete and Patrick would find us again, even though it would be a confrontation and a half after the nature of them abandoning us, I wanted to know they were okay. We had seen so many dead bodies and had given up hope of any of our families surviving that even two people who had betrayed us would be welcomed back…even with a little tension.

**~*~**

A week had passed. I knew it was a week because we would scratch a line into the doorframe of the lounge for every day that had passed, we were at day number seven now. The snares were unsuccessful the first night but we did catch one hare the next night. We enjoyed our first decent meal since splitting up with Pete and Patrick and even gained a fur pelt out of it.

Ray and I had blocked off all the windows to try and preserve heat, with the exception of the master bedroom window and one of the lounge windows; all the others were now more or less sealed. Frank was in charge of finding plants to eat and storing them away for the colder days ahead, he was teaching Mikey as they foraged each day about the medicinal qualities too. Ray had discovered a hidden talent in spear fishing and we had enjoyed trout twice already.

Things were okay, I was setting more snares up in the woodland so we had a decent variety of food to eat, we made sure not to waste any of it and always had a pan of water ready to boil. I dared to say that we could make this work for longer than I originally thought.

We sat in the lounge, night had fallen quickly as we were waiting for the hare I caught yesterday to cook, Mikey had become our chef it seemed, Frank would tell him how to cook the plants but leave him to actually do it. Ray would quickly survey the area from upstairs before deciding if we needed someone up there all night. I sighed and ran a hand through my greased hair, the next thing we had to figure out was how to shower or bathe out here, Ray had already concluded the river wasn’t very clean and that he didn’t recommend using it unless it was urgent.

My musings were cut short by Ray’s hurried footsteps on the stairs. “We have company.”

“Zombie or survivor?” I asked, standing up and reaching for one of the handguns we still had lying around.

“They have a flashlight so I’m guessing survivor.”

Frank and Mikey looked to me for orders, I told them to guard the house whilst Ray and I investigated, handing the other handgun to Ray as we made for the door with our own flashlight.

“What if they want to join us?” Ray asked as we stood on the pathway overlooking the field the Ray had seen them in, I saw the beam bouncing as they walked closer.

“We see what kind of physical shape they’re in first. And see what their intentions are.” I muttered, raising the flashlight and signalling to them. The other beam stopped for a second before flashing twice back and continuing to approach.

Ray clicked the safety off and held his gun with both hands; ready to shoot if necessary. The person got close enough for me to see that there was only one of them; a man of average height dressed in torn clothing, a blond beard was growing on his worn face, matching the hair poking out of his beanie. He stopped when he saw the two handguns and put his hands up in defence.

“I-I’m not infected.” He stated, voice soft but strained. “Nor do I want to rob you.”

I glanced to Ray who shrugged. “What’s your name.” I asked.

“Bob. Bob Bryar.” He replied.

“Where you from?”

“Chicago originally…I was staying with a friend in Nevada when all this happened…I…I got nowhere else to go.”

I noticed he had a backpack on his shoulders and a knife strapped to his belt; he was prepared at least to survive on his own for a while. Ray cleared his throat and spoke;

“Where are you headed Bob?”

“I-I dunno, anywhere I can to survive.” He replied, he was nervous, I would’ve been too if I was faced with two handguns.

“Give us a second.” I told him, beckoning Ray to walk back a few steps to confer. He nodded quickly and lowered his hands slowly.

“What are you thinking?” Ray asked me.

“I think he could stay with us if he wanted. We have enough supplies and he’s survived this long on his own so he must know the basics.”

“And he looks quite physically fit, it’s not like he’d be a burden.”

“You wanna run back and ask the others? I said. “We need to make sure they’re good with it.”

He nodded before setting off at a jog to ask the others for their opinion. I turned back to Bob and briefly explained who we were and where we were from, he nodded but said very little, probably paranoid about where Ray had gone. I didn’t expect Frank to appear suddenly but he did, taking stock of Bob before speaking.

“So Mikey and I are cool with him staying with us.”

I nodded, turning back to Bob. “So do you wanna stay here for a while? You can leave at any point but you’re welcome to stay with us. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“If you guys are fine with it…yeah sure, thanks…thanks a lot!” he replied, moving to shake my hand. “I won’t let you guys down…I promise.”

I smiled, he seemed like a nice guy. “It’s cool, I suppose we better get you inside before Mikey finishes making food.”

Bob was a pretty interesting fellow. I expected him to be grateful that we were sharing our supplies and such with him but he was more than that; after we ate he shared his backpack with us, he had quite a lot of medical supplies from his friend’s place – apparently they were a part time nurse so they kept a lot of minor stuff around their house – duct tape, rope and another knife to go with the one attached to his belt.

“So if you guys want these then you’re welcome to them.” He said, folding the backpack up after laying everything out on the floor.

“We appreciate it Bob.” I replied, watching Mikey seize the box of medical supplies and mutter to Frank. “Frank’s still got healing injuries that really ought to be seen to.”

“I don’t have much know-how but I could have a look…if he’s okay with that.”

Frank nodded, Mikey would be with him just on the off-chance that Bob wasn’t all he seemed. Ray and I set about finding another set of bedding for Bob as he saw to Frank.

“You think he’s good then?” Ray asked quietly.

“Yeah I reckon so.”

“Best to keep an eye on him though…just for a few days.”

I nodded. Even if this was the apocalypse, it never hurt to be a cautious, you never know what people will do to survive. After a while Bob reappeared, he told us that Frank’s injuries were recovering well, especially considering that he had treated himself with plants primarily. I was thankful for that.

“So I left him and…your brother?”

“Yeah, Mikey’s my brother.”

“Are the two of them…uh…”

“Yeah they are.” I chuckled. “Both Ray and I are fine with it as we know they’re not gonna do anything stupid…”

“Oh okay, cool. I just wanted to check rather than assume.”

“It’s cool Bob.” I remarked, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t hesitate to ask us anything.”

He smiled. “Thanks, I mean for all of this. I came across two others on the road north of here. They were less accommodating.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what they’re names were?”

“Well one said to the other – ‘leave him alone Patrick, we don’t have enough supplies as it is’.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I just left them to it.”

I nodded again but didn’t say anything to suggest I knew them. Ray simply nodded and then made his way to the fire which was boiling more drinking water, Bob followed suit and started asking about where the water source was. I stared out the window in contemplation.

So Pete and Patrick were alive, barely, and were wondering north of here. I wondered if they’d head south in search of warmer climate, I wondered if they’d cross our path again. I then started wondering how they’d react if they ended up here, the multiple scenarios forming all seemed to end in spilt blood. The question was; whose blood would it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and yeah a new character was introduced...forgot to mention that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that these updates are slow, my college keeps giving me work to do at short notice.  
> Also I can hardly find the energy to research and then write chapters when I get home at 7pm most nights and have to be up at 6am the next morning.  
> Thank-you for being so understanding and patient! I'm trying to keep the updates within a month but there's just stuff happening all the time...woo.

**Twenty**

**Frank**

Bob was cool. He kept thanking us for letting him stay here, all we asked in return was for him to help us out with collecting food, boiling water and keeping a lookout for zombies. It didn’t take him long to settle with us, the day after he arrived I took him foraging in the woods. I had worked out a system to not get lost in the overgrowing foliage; I’d scratch a crude smiley face in the trees with a cross going through whichever eye pointed towards the house. Bob was telling me about how he managed to make his way from Nevada into California by himself, he was made of strong stuff.

“I fought off this bodybuilder who had been infected, I nearly lost my arm but thankfully these thugs shot him. I thought they were gonna kill me too but they were actually nice about it; they patched me up and let me rest in their shelter but them told me I had to go as they didn’t have a lot of supplies.” He explained, taking the only edible mushrooms I could identify from me. “So I walked through the wilderness, there was a lack of infected for a while but then I found this fucking huge horde-”

“Yeah, we nearly died.” I said, cutting him off. “I would’ve been done for if Mikey hadn’t stayed with me...and then Gee and Ray jumping from the truck.”

“Truck?”

“Yeah, Pete’s truck. They abandoned us once I was overwhelmed.”

“...so that’s why Gerard seemed off when I told him that I saw them north of here.”

I stood up from where I had been crouched next to a cluster of clovers. “They’re still around?”

“Yeah, running low on supplies but they’re still around.”

I nodded, would they seek us out or assume we were all dead by now? The sun was getting higher in the sky, signalling that it was near noon and that Mikey would be fixing us some food.

“We should head back.” I uttered, bundling the handful of clovers I was holding into the improvised crate Ray had made out of floorboards. Despite not seeing any zombies since the horde we still kept a weapon with us whenever we left the house, today I had picked up the survival knife as it was useful for stripping bark off trees to make my symbols.

As we got to the river I felt something was off, the level was higher than usual, normally we would’ve walked through the water as it was only a few inches deep. Today though I felt apprehensive about it, Bob noticed me hesitation as we stood on the bank and watched the flowing water glisten in the sunlight.

“Something wrong?”

“The water is higher than normal.” I replied, glancing up the river. “We haven’t had any rain so I’m not sure what’s going on.”

“Maybe a dam broke upstream?”

I shook my head. “It would’ve flooded if that was the case.”

“Either way we gotta get across.”

We stood there for a few moments, there weren’t any trees that could be easily felled for us to use as a bridge, we were pretty much stuck.

“I could carry you? I am taller than you and heavier so I wouldn’t get washed away by the current.” He suggested.

I gave him a ‘as if’ look but then I figured that it would be the only way across at this rate. So I gave him the crate of plants and clambered onto his back like a koala. He slowly stepped into the river, taking a second to get used to the sensation of liquid seeping into his shoes before gradually trudging through the chilled water. Once we were safely on the other side I slid of his back and took the crate back so he could strip his wet shoes off.

“Can we not do that again?” he sighed, a slight smirk on his face. “You’re heavier than you look.”

“Shut up.” I chuckled, taking the lead back to the house. Gerard was stood on the porch with the oversized breadknife, he seemed agitated but without a purpose. I raised an eyebrow as we got closer, he nodded towards the road.

“Just making sure the first thing anyone sees when they enter is this knife.” He explained. So he _was_ paranoid about Pete showing up.

“Give it a rest dude, they’re north of here.” I sighed. “And besides, I doubt they’d come in guns blazing if they wanted help.” I ushered the older Way inside with unexpected ease, handing the crate to Mikey as I slumped on the floor next to him.

“I don’t want him thinking he can treat us like shit again. Whilst I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt back then, he crossed that line when he practically left you to die.” Gerard continued, waving the knife around to prove a point. I wished Ray was here and not out fishing again.

“Gee calm down.” Mikey murmured, taking a pan of boiling water off the fire. “It’s unlikely that he’d come back anyway. If he did I’m sure Patrick would do his best to keep the peace anyway.”

“Well we all know how that worked out last time.” Gerard uttered, standing up and making for the door. “Let’s not forget who was driving when they left.”

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, Bob looked to Mikey and I for some kind of assistance but neither of us really wanted to reopen old wounds. Bob shrugged and slide of his drenched shoes to put them by the fire, I snuggled up to the younger Way as he finished pouring the water into a jar to be kept for later.

Gerard stared out the window, he was quiet for a while before sighing. “Looks like a storm is heading our way.”

I looked out the window, the clouds were darker than usual and they seemed intimidating. We didn’t know if the roof was prone to leaking but I guessed we’d find out soon enough.

“Bob you wanna help me take a look at the roof?” Gerard asked. “You’ll be more useful than Frank.”

Bob nodded, I didn’t mind being effectively called useless, it meant I could spend more time with Mikey. When we were finally alone in front of the fire he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

“Well it could be worse.” He sighed.

“Yeah, at least we haven’t had the horde come by for a day or two.”

“Maybe they died out?”

The large horde that we nearly died in had been spotted by Ray from the lookout. It was only a matter of time before they got closer to us, they would be getting desperate for food...whatever they ate anyway.

“I doubt it. If anything they seem to be growing.”

“If they do attack, we’ll be ready.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

I turned to him and kissed his lips, savouring his taste as I cupped his face. He pushed me to lie down on the floor, moving to straddle my body. My hands moved to his waist as he leaned down to kiss me, our bodies pressed against each other. It was a rare thing to have privacy let alone be intimate. His fingers tangled in my messy hair, tugging on the strands as my hands squeezed his waist. The fire crackled and popped, I moaned into his mouth, slowly raising my hips off the floor.

“I love you.” I breathed, pulling back from his lips long enough to speak.

“I love you too.” He whispered, moving to kiss my neck.

“You know...if they catch us then we’ll never hear the end of it.” I giggled breathlessly, feeling his tongue flick against my skin.

“So? It’s not like we’re having sex.” He replied between kisses.

“True...”

He hummed against my neck, slowing his movements until he just led on top of me in the warmth of the fire. The gathering clouds caused the room to darken, the amber glows stretching across the room and casting shadows on the walls. I relaxed, my fingers running up and down his back, he sighed lightly and slid off my lap to curl up next to me. We could hear the floorboards upstairs creaking as Gerard and Bob surveyed the roof, other than that it was quiet. It was almost too quiet.

“Suppose they ambush us?” I uttered.

“Who?” Mikey hummed.

“The zombies. Suppose they overwhelm us like last time? What if…what if someone else dies?”

“We won’t.”

“That’s what we said about Helena…I don’t wanna bury another body Mikey.”

He sat up and brushed my fringe out of my eyes. “We won’t…because we’re too smart for that now. We have a lookout, we have weapons, we have the know-how. The fact we’ve survived this long says something about us Frank; we’re the survivors.”

I sat up next to him and simply stared at him. “But how long will we be the survivors? How long before we have an argument and…” I trailed off. “How long before I snap and turn out like Pete?”

He bit his lip. “Pete isn’t…he didn’t go...” he sighed. “Pete had his reasons. Okay they were probably shit but he did whatever he did for a reason. Now remember; _you_ _are not Pete_.”

“They say war changes people Mikes…this is the same. This is gonna change us, this _has_ changed us. Think about it, we were sophomores just two months ago and now we’re…well what are we? Other than survivors? We have no meaning anymore, nothing to live for…we-”

He took hold of my shoulders and shook me slightly. “Frank. Stop.” He commanded. “Stop thinking about it. If you must have something to live for then make it me. Live for _me_ Frank. Live for the hope that someday we’ll be able to have a life somewhat similar to what we once had.”

I blinked at him, falling over my words as I searched for a reply.

 “…I love you Frank. And if it wasn’t for you, Gerard and Ray…then I would’ve given up already…”

“I love you too Mikey.” I whispered in reply. “I…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He leaned forward and kissed me softly. The door opened and Ray stepped through, his catch of fish in hand. We broke apart and stared at him like we had been caught having sex.

“Woah easy guys.” He chuckled. “It’s cool, I don’t mind. I should’ve knocked.”

I chuckled uneasily, feeling my cheeks reddening. Ray handed Mikey the fish – we were getting slightly sick of hares and plants by now – before going upstairs to find the others. As the fish cooked over the flames I stared out the window at the storm clouds. I really hoped the roof would hold against the rain, at least the chance of snow was low so we wouldn’t have to deal with frozen water.

I didn’t even realise the others had reappeared until Gerard pushed my shoulder. “Sup Frank?”

I shrugged. “Is the roof stable?” my eyes not leaving the sky.

“Yeah, as long as we don’t get strong winds we’ll be good. Even then we can just reinforce it a little.” He told me.

The first few drops of rain fell, pattering against the glass. I sighed heavily, the rain would at least replenish the land so the plants could grow. Although it did remind us all that fall was approaching and that meant it was only going to get harder from here.

**~*~**

“Can you be on watch tonight?” Gerard asked me. “Ray and I are kinda beat from the last week of night shifts and then day work.”

I nodded, Bob was going to sit with me and take over if needed. Mikey would sleep for most of the night and then sort out breakfast around dawn. The rain was still pouring, it wasn’t too bad but it certainly made the task of keeping watch a bit harder.

We had two chairs set up to look out the window, a flashlight and a flare gun along with the two handguns. There was a jar of water and some leftover hare meat on the only remaining table. I leaned back in the chair and rested my feet on the windowsill with a sigh.

“So what’s the long term plan?” Bob asked, mimicking my actions, it was weird to think he was the same age as Gee and Ray, he carried himself with more maturity and seemed more in control.

“I dunno. I guess we try and live.” I replied. “We can’t stop the spread, it’s impossible.”

“But do you guys intend to stay here? I mean surely moving on would be the better idea.”

“Where to? There’s not exactly a neon sign pointing to a place better than this one.” I remarked, taking a small sip from the jar of water.

“This is true.” He murmured, taking the jar from me once I had finished. “I suppose this one is better than most.”

“Besides, we have a steady water supply, woodland nearby to get firewood and food, we can see for a few miles from up here,” I gestured to the window, the untamed farmland stretched out into the darkness. Gerard had sent me on an errand during our first week here to collect any harvestable food. We had very few places to actually store all this food safely but the limited number of jars we had seemed to be doing okay for now. I was going to talk to Ray about trying to get the refrigerator working somehow so we could at least put the meat and fish in there.

“So we turn this place into a homestead? Is that what you’re implying?” He asked.

“I don’t know what Gerard has in mind but I reckon that’s our best shot.”

He nodded. We sat in silence for a while, simply listening to the others chatting downstairs and then settling down to sleep. The fire was left going so one of us would have to keeping leaving the other to check on it and add kindle if needed, thankfully it seemed that the trees nearby provided wood that burned for a long period of time so we didn’t need to do that often.

“Do you have any missing family members?” I asked, we were kind of at a loss as to what to discuss.

“My parents back in Chicago...” he sighed. “I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m the only one left. What about you?”

“My parents were in Carolina visiting my cousins when this all started, I still hope that they’re alive...doubt it though.” I uttered. “I mean it’s unlikely.”

He nodded. “I guess at some point the human race will have to repopulate itself.”

I snorted, that was an amusing thought. “I have no idea what you’re suggesting Bob.” I replied with a smirk.

We both cracked up in quiet laughter, the rain started getting heavy again so our range of sight was limited. The silence fell between us again, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence more of an acceptance that the night was going to be long and uneventful.

Or at least that’s what we thought.

I wandered downstairs to check on the fire, it was burning steadily but I added a few extra bits of wood just to be sure. I glanced out of the window and noticed movement, the others were all sound asleep in the house and Bob was upstairs, a closer look outside revealed nothing but darkness. With a shrug and a sense of unease I made my way upstairs.

“Should we reinforce the window downstairs? I mean it’s literally a pane of glass.” I muttered to Bob.

“Probably. We could put some boards across the outside, just enough for us to see but enough to give it some protection.”

The feeling of unease wouldn’t go away. “I’m going to take a look around the porch, something doesn’t sit right.”

Bob looked at me with mild curiosity. “I’ll come an keep watch from the door. I don’t want you getting dragged off in the night.”

We grabbed our weapons and made our way to the front door, after listening for movement we slowly opened the door and stepped out onto the porch with flashlights in hand. The rain was still pouring which made listening for life difficult.

“You see anything?” I asked him.

“Nah.”

“We should check the back.”

I gripped my knife handle and swallowed my fear before stepping into the grass. Mud squelched beneath my sneakers, I froze after a few steps, waiting for a sign of life. When there was none I moved forward again, hearing Bob’s steps behind me, the sound of the river gave me an idea of where we were in the otherwise quiet surroundings.

“Hear anything?” I whispered, we had turned off our flashlights so we wouldn’t alert anything to our presence.

“Other than the two of us? Nah.”

I nodded, more to myself than Bob, and stepped forward again. We were just about to turn the corner of the house when I heard a moan followed by some footsteps. After listening for a few seconds I concurred that there was only one of them, I flickered the flashlight a few times, I caught it’s attention judging by the surprised grunt.

“Back up slowly.” I hissed to Bob. “Be ready to kill it.”

“You’re playing with fire.”

“Sh.”

It was getting closer, I flicked the light again and caught sight of it; a woman with half a face of boils and warts, her brown hair matted and dishevelled, clothing torn and covered in the mud. If I moved quickly I could have a stab in the dark – literally – but I’d be risking too much. Instead I backed up again so I was beside Bob.

“Ready?” I whispered. “I’ll turn the light on and you take it out.”

“Sounds doable.” Bob uttered, clicking the safety off on his handgun. “Wait you want me to shoot it or stab?

“I don’t care, just stop it from being a threat.”

“’kay. Whenever you’re ready then.”

I muttered a countdown before turning on the flashlight, within seconds it was lumbering towards us, Bob shot it straight away; a bullet through the brain sending blood over the wall and on the grass. We froze, listening for the sounds of any others as the body slumped to the ground, Gerard would probably demand that we move it in the morning.

“All quiet…” Bob murmured.

“Yeah.”

We made our way back inside, surveying the darkness for any other zombies. Once inside we locked the door and took off our mud-caked shoes, I was about to check on the fire when Mikey popped his head out from the lounge.

“The fuck was going on outside?” he asked, sleep still clinging to his eyes.

“Just a zombie roaming close to the house.” I told him, reaching to stroke his cheek. “We sorted it.”

“Loudly.” He sighed. “The others were too out of it to hear the gunshot.”

“Well it’s fine, Bob’s upstairs now just checking out the land, hopefully we won’t have to venture out again.”

He gave me a half-smile, clearly still too tired to really be awake.

“You should sleep.” I told him, taking his hand and leading him back into the lounge.

“Yeah probably.”

I coaxed him to sit on the floor next to the fire as Gerard was happily sprawled out on the couch. Bob could handle being on watch whilst I got Mikey to sleep. He slumped against me and nuzzled my neck, sighing contently. I held him in my arms, sighing too as I soaked up the feeling of actually being pretty calm considering what just happened.

If this apocalypse hadn’t happened, I wandered if he would’ve confessed that he had feelings for me. I wandered what junior year would’ve been like, what career’s we’d end up with…what our last summer vacation would’ve had in store…

All we had were the memories of our lives before this and each other, I wandered if that would be enough to keep us sane.


	21. Chapter 21

**Twenty-one**

**Gerard**

It was a few days after the zombie incident, four to be exact, the rain had stopped for now. Something unsettled me about the fact that one got so close to the house, but at least Bob had proven that he could be trusted, it was quite worrying that we could’ve been ambushed if Frank hadn’t felt odd and checked the perimeter.

Ray and I had been talking about going out and scouting the surrounding area, we hadn’t really thought about scavenging since arriving, more focused on surviving than anything else. The trouble was it would be too dangerous for the two of us to go alone and likewise we didn’t want to leave Mikey and Frank here to defend alone should we take Bob with us.

“Do you know anything about where we are?” I asked Ray as we collected water from the river.

“Other than what I’ve seen from lookout- no. I know we’re on a pretty large farm on the edge of the wilderness, I dunno how far from any town or city we are.” He replied, putting the lid on the jar.

“You think Bob knows?”

He shrugged, brushing his hair out of his eyes, all of us really needed to cut our hair back but the lack of scissors was a problem and no-one wanted to try with a knife.

“We could ask I suppose.” He sighed.

We got back to the house, Frank was napping on the couch and Mikey was watching from the newly reinforced window. He moved to the fireplace to tend to the new water we had gathered as I went to find Bob. The bearded one was sat on watch, I pulled up a chair next to him and sighed.

“Sup?” he asked.

“Not much, just got some more water with Ray, how’s it looking?”

“Quiet.”

“So Ray and I were talking…”

“Oh yeah?”

“We were thinking about going on a scouting trip, check out the areas beyond the farmland, see if there is anything worth taking.”

“Go on.”

“Well we don’t wanna go just the two of us, but we don’t wanna leave Mikey and Frank here alone.”

“I see your problem.”

“So what do you think?”

He sighed heavily and scratched his beard, staring out the window at the clouds gathering in the distance. “It depends, do you want someone who can protect you or someone to carry shit?”

“Both?”

“Then surely Frank would be ideal? He seems to keep his cool in combat, he can also carry half his weight on his back. Plus he’s quick and sneaky, a scouting mission sounds like his kind of game.”

He made a good point, I wondered what I’d even bring to the mission. “So what about you, Ray and Frank go tomorrow?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, Ray and Frank will need someone to keep tabs whilst they loot the area. And after the other night you pretty much earned our trust.”

He nodded with a slight smile. “Alright, well I’m down for it…check with them though.”

I nodded in reply, the only problem would be convincing Frank to go along with it, I knew he wouldn’t want to leave Mikey but at the same time I knew that we’d have to find some more supplies. We actually sat down in the afternoon to eat together, for once none of us were out collecting food or firewood, I decided that I might as well bring it up whilst we were all present.

“So I’ve been thinking.” I said, watching Frank for his reaction. “We ought to go on a scouting mission.”

“What?” Frank asked.

“I say we, I actually mean you, Ray and Bob.” I added.

“Uh…to where? There’ nothing around for miles.”

“We’ve only been in two directions.” Ray remarked. “The direction we ran in and the forest, there’s no telling what’s north and west of here.”

 “True, why me though? Why not you?” Frank asked me directly.

“You’re good at being stealthy which would be ideal for looting places, Bob and Ray will be able to carry the stuff you find and also protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

“You know what I mean. God knows, if there’ll be any thugs or hordes hanging around. Hence why I’m sending three of you…”

He didn’t seem convinced. “Alright.” He sighed. “So how do you propose we prepare?”

~*~

“No, leave the laces free, just wrap the duct tape around the toe of your shoe.” Ray instructed, watching Frank attend to his worn sneakers. All of our shoes were in dire states and the only way we could think of prolonging their effectiveness was to reinforce them with duct tape.

It was late at night, the three of them would leave as soon as it was light enough to not need flashlights. I would be staying here with Mikey and keeping the house secure, we were actually in the midst of preparing a supply bag for them whilst they suited up.

“You think they have enough then?” I asked, watching my brother put in a jar of water. They had a flashlight, some handgun ammo, wooden boards, a few bandages and the survival knife, we made sure to leave a lot of room in the backpack for new supplies and hoped to hell that none of them got injured too badly.

“I guess, there’s no telling what they’ll need really.” He murmured, casting a glance at the fish cooking over the fire. “We just gotta hope.”

“Hope they don’t need anything more than what we can provide…yeah.”

Mikey hadn’t said much on the issue, I was aware that him and Frank had argued about how dangerous it would be but nothing had changed regarding the plan so I assumed they worked it out. I couldn’t be sure though.

I volunteered to stay on watch for most of the night, giving the others a chance to rest up before their departure tomorrow. If there was any doubt in their minds about leaving then they hadn’t voiced them to me. It was at this point that I started thinking; was I becoming more of the leader? Sure the others were more than willing to go alone with my ideas once I had explained them but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bear the responsibility of keeping everyone alive with my decision-making.

Throughout our childhood I had always kept Mikey out of trouble, laid low in school with Ray most days and rarely did anything remotely risky. Highschool had presented a lot of problems and resulted in a lot of arguments between us, somehow we had gotten through it. The more I thought back to those moments, the more I realised that I was the one they’d all turn to for help.

I sighed, putting my feet on the windowsill and watching the sun sink below the horizon. There had been little in the way of activity since the incident, we hadn’t seen the horde for a few days which concerned me. If they weren’t within sight then where were they? Were they gone? Had they all died out?

Footsteps up the stairs spurred me from my thoughts, Frank sat next to me but said nothing. I wondered why he wasn’t asleep, or at least why he was sat here and not with Mikey.

“Something bothering you?” I asked.

“…it’s fairly minor.” He whispered, picking at the dirt on his hands.

“I’m all ears.”

He sighed heavily, swallowing before speaking again. “I’m scared.”

“Of tomorrow?”

“Of everything.”

“Everything?”

He bit his lip, the moonlight was bright tonight and illuminated the room in a pasty glow. “Yeah, leaving you and Mikey here…it will be the first time we’ve been separated for more than a few hours since this all started.”

“It’ll be okay Frank, I’m sure we’ll be fine. It’s you we’re worried about; sending the three of you out there to god knows what.” I replied, patting him on the shoulder.

“That also scares the fuck out of me.”

I realised that I probably wasn’t helping a great deal. “Listen, you’re not travelling far and Ray will be with you. Obviously we don’t know much about Bob but I’m sure he’ll make sure nothing bad happens.”

He hummed quietly. “What exactly are we looking for?”

“Supplies, stuff we can make weapons out of, food, maybe even information on what’s going on out there.”

He nodded. “And what if we get into trouble?” he looked at me, his frosty expression sending an uneasy feeling through me.

“You deal with those sons of bitches and get back here. I’ll sit here on watch all day with the shotgun and cover you if I have to.”

He turned to stare out the window again. I didn’t know what else to say, my words would’ve fallen on deaf ears. He didn’t move so I took a chance and drew him in for a hug, he didn’t resist; instead I felt him wrap his arms around me tightly.

“If you don’t want to go then I’m not going to force you.” I uttered. “But we need to send someone.”

“I’ll go.” He murmured. “But only because I want what’s best for Mikey.”

I nodded, sure he valued us as friends but he was my brother’s lover. It made sense that the only person he’d do anything for would be him. With little else to discuss he slunk back downstairs to no doubt sleep in Mikey’s arms. I sighed and went back to my musings.

Maybe I really was turning into the leader after all.

**~*~**

I saw them kiss for the first time. Bob and Ray had started walking, handguns out and ready, when Frank ran back and pulled Mikey in for a hard clash of lips. When he finally managed to prise himself away the other two were almost clear of the farmland and he had to run to catch up. Mikey sniffed as we watched them cross the dirt road and disappear into the overgrown thicket beyond. I hugged him and led him back inside. I stayed true to my word; I sat in the watchroom with the shotgun by my side, Mikey bought me some stew and sat with me.

“How long do you think they’ll be?” he asked.

“I told Ray to head back before sundown.”

He nodded. “Well…there’s not a lot to do. The food stock is full, if we did any more hunting then it would only spoil.”

“How _are_ you keeping it anyway?”

“Basement.”

“What?”

“Basement. There’s a basement Gee.” He smirked slightly. “Frank and I have been hanging the food from the rafters and the entire room is cool enough for it to not rot straight away.”

“And when exactly was I gonna be let in on this secret?”

“When you asked.” He chuckled. “We didn’t feel as if you needed to know.”

I rolled my eyes but smiled, it vaguely reminded me of the times before the apocalypse. “So how do you get to the basement?”

“There’s a door under the stairs, I found it a few days ago just as some of the food was beginning to go off and Frank helped me move all the food down there.”

I nodded, they were thinking about long term survival which was good. “You reckon we should stay here for good or move on soon?”

He was quiet for a while, mulling it over in his mind. “I think we should stay here until after the winter…it would be stupid to move now as we’d have to set everything up again in such a short space of time.”

“Makes sense.”

The day went on, we sat there reminiscing about life, the sun rose in the sky and made it seem like things hadn’t changed outside. There was no sign of zombies or survivors so we tried to take it easy but the shotgun sat there, a reminder of my promise to Frank. I hoped I wouldn’t have to fulfil that promise.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've completely lost all concept of an update schedule, updates come as and when I have time to write!  
> I was actually reading through comments and the like from this fic and my other works which made me smile, and I just want you all to know that I appreciate each and every one of you who reads my work - whether you comment/leave kudos or not - it really makes me happy when I notice the hit number climbing a little bit after each update.  
> So yeah, little bit feelsy ahead of this chapter, I'm still debating the ending so literally anything could still happen but we are headed towards the end of this fic (very slowly).

**Twenty-two**

**Frank**

We emerged from the overgrown grassland, we had been walking for about twenty minutes with little sign of anything interesting. Ray lead the party with Bob behind me, I would get upon one of their shoulders occasionally to scout out the area from above, I had spotted a cluster of buildings in the distance and we made our way to them.

There had been a few zombies milling around but we made short and silent work of them; I snuck up behind one and gutted it messily but without sound, Bob broke the other’s necks as Ray kept lookout. We were efficient about clearing the houses of any useful materials, the day was still young once we emerged, I was feeling optimistic about our chances of finding more supplies.

“Where to now?” I asked Bob.

“We could go along the road and see where it leads.” He replied, looking to Ray for input.

“Sounds good.”

We walked in silence, the birds chirped from the woods, the sun beat down on us in the late summer sky. I was fortunate enough to not be carrying the backpack so I felt reasonably fine, Bob shifted the weight on his back and kept glaring at the roadside, Ray sighed but didn’t comment. The sound of an approaching vehicle put us on edge. We barrelled into the overgrown grass that ran alongside the road as they got closer, the truck stopped a little up the road from us. I held my breath, reaching for my knife as footsteps hit the dirt.

“You saw something?” a voice asked, male, possibly mid-twenties.

“I’m sure of it.” Another replied, female, younger than the male.

“Well _clearly_ they’re gone now.” The male sounded irritated. “Get in the truck, we need to get to headquarters before the boss throws a fit about the shipment going missing.”

I looked to Bob, he nodded and bought his gun out in front of him. The important thing here was to not kill them. We sprang from the grass, catching both of them off guard, Bob got the male into a vice grip with his gun pointed at the guy’s temple, Ray did the same with the girl although he wasn’t thrilled with the idea.

“Woah what the fuck?!” The guy shouted. “Who the fuck are you?” he glared at me with his piercing green eyes, brown hair ruffled and covered in dust from the Californian wilderness. Bob had no problem holding back his rather scrawny build.

“Quiet.” I barked. “You don’t need to know who we are.”

“What do you want?” the girl pleaded, she was a pretty thing; long black hair framing her slim face, she put up little resistance to Ray.

“Supplies.” I replied, twirling my knife around my fingers. “What’s in the truck?”

Neither of them said anything. I raised an eyebrow and approached the sleek black pickup, a quick look inside showed nothing but once I opened the tailgate the treasure was laid out for us.

“What we got?” Bob asked.

“Mostly food, medical stuff, what looks like ammo too.” I reported. “We don’t need the food, could take some of the medical stuff I suppose.”

“The ammo?”

“Not our calibre. There’s no gun for it here so it would be pointless to take.”

“Anything else in there?”

I shuffled the stuff around a bit and found a pack of batteries that the flashlights took so I pocketed them, I also picked out what medical stuff we’d need before locking the tailgate up again. Turning back to our two hostages I got down to business.

“So where are you headed?” I asked, moving to put our new supplies away in the backpack.

“Like we’d tell you.” The guy snarled.

“Put it this way; we won’t kill you. We just want to know what’s going on out here.” I replied, appearing next to him with knife in hand.

The two of them were silent for a while before the girl started speaking. “There’s a compound two hours from here. Survivors from Cali and Oregon have started a homestead.”

“Shut up Tasha.” The guy snarled.

I raised an eyebrow. This sounded too good to be true. “Tell us more.”

She swallowed, glancing at her partner before shaking her head. “I-I can’t, we’re not supposed to speak of it really. There’s not enough supplies right now…”

“So you’re struggling?” Ray asked.

“Kind of, that’s why we got sent out to scavenge more, we-we didn’t realise how many people had shown up until it was too late. There’s already rationing and winter is coming.”

“Sounds like we’d be better off staying out here dude.” Bob said. “Where exactly is this place though?”

“On the coast, just south of San Luis.”

I nodded. “One more thing; what’s everyone’s theory behind all of this?”

They looked at each other but said nothing.

“No-one knows.” The guy uttered after a few moments. “Some say disease, others say it’s a conspiracy…other’s say an act of God.”

We let them go, they hurriedly got back to their truck and sped off. With no more space in the bag for anymore supplies we decided to head back. I had to figure out how to tell Gerard that we held two people at gunpoint for information, I knew he wouldn’t like it but desperate times caused for desperate measures, and he _did_ say he wanted information.

The walk back was less stressful but we couldn’t afford to be too relaxed, we were nearly caught off guard by a roaming zombie but thankfully Ray’s quick reflexes ensured my head didn’t get taken off. I smiled in thanks and continued following Bob through the grassland. We were staying relatively calm, but then again it was a forced calm; none of us wanted to start getting paranoid and throw the others off.

“Can I ask you something Frank?” Ray murmured as we neared the house.

“Sure, what is it?”

“What we just did…holding those two at gunpoint…wasn’t it a bit much?”

I shrugged, it was a necessary act, we needed to know what other survivors were doing. “I reckon it was fine. We didn’t actually hurt them and we didn’t exactly take all of their stuff.” I replied. “We just extracted information.”

Ray opened his mouth to say something but was but off by the sound of raised voices. We quickened our pace and arrived at the house to find a familiar truck sat on the driveway; it had a fair few more dents in it and blood spattered across the windows.

“What the fuck are they doing here?” I growled, breaking into a run and flinging open the door with enough force to nearly knock it off the rusted hinges.

“Frank, you’re back early…” Gerard said, I was distracted by the sight of Patrick led on the couch breathing heavily and then Pete’s form stood over him.

“We got what we could and headed back.” I uttered, locking eyes with Pete.

Ray and Bob ran through the supplies we had obtained before Bob asked about Patrick’s laboured breathing, turns out they had encountered some mutants and the truck got a battering; injuring Patrick in the process.

“Nasty gash running down his back.” Pete told Bob, refusing to break eye contact with me the entire time. “And we think he’s bruised a rib from when we slammed through a billboard.”

Bob nodded, starting to tend to the other male. I was wondering where Mikey was but that thought was pushed out of my mind as Patrick cried out in pain. I was not about to just welcome Pete into our lives again after what he did, sure we could treat Patrick but then they had to leave us alone, for good.

“Frank can you go to the river and get some water? I think Mikey’s down there already.” Gerard barked, moving to help Bob hold Patrick down.

I broke eye contact with Pete and rushed out the door, at least he hadn’t dared to speak yet, maybe he’d keep his mouth shut. Mikey was on his way back with two jars of water in the makeshift crate, his face lit up with a smile when he saw me which quickly disappeared when he saw my mood plastered on my face.

“Sup?” he asked, nudging my stomach.

“Pete.” I uttered.

“Eh?” He raised an eyebrow, so clearly he was none the wiser.

“Pete and Patrick showed up.” I told him, gesturing back towards the house. “And Patrick’s in a bad way.”

“We should get back to them then…” he motioned for me to follow him but I stayed where I was. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not staying in that room with Pete, Mikey. I _will_ flip out at him.”

“But what did Patrick do to deserve your hatred?”

He made a point, then again he was the one driving when we were near death. My hand went to my side, the wound had healed more or less – leaving a thin scar – but that didn’t mean I had let it go yet.

“Frankie…I know.” He murmured, “But we might as well help them…maybe it’ll make Pete think twice about what he did.”

“Or maybe he’ll just blame me for everything again?” I snapped, watching him flinch slightly which sent a punch to my gut. “sorry…I just…”

“It’s okay. Come on Frank, the sun will be setting soon so it’ll get dangerous out here.”

I sighed. There was nothing for it, I had to go back with Mikey. When we stepped through the door there was a scream of agony; Pete was stood in the corner of the room not doing anything, Bob was seeing to Patrick’s now bleeding back, Gerard was pulling whatever Bob needed out of the medical supplies and Ray was holding Patrick down as he thrashed about.

“Took you fucking long enough.” Gerard cussed at me. “Get that water on the boil so we can clean this wound.”

Mikey snapped into action, I closed the door and got closer to the chaos. The wound that had only appeared to be a gash when I saw it had split open; blood and puss oozing out onto Patrick’s skin, I wondered if this was what my side looked like.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Just stay there and do what I tell you to.” Bob muttered.

I nodded, Patrick let out a cry as Bob started cleaning away blood and puss with the last jar of clean water we had. I was aware that Pete was still just stood there, not doing anything to help his friend.

“How the fuck did this even happen?” I asked, not really directed at anyone but based on the fact that Patrick was beyond words we expected Pete to reply.

“Pete?” Ray asked, still holding Patrick’s body in place for Bob.

“Mutant.” Pete uttered over the fresh cries of pain. “They’ve mutated…this…thing straight out of Half Life latched onto him and--”

“Fuck.” Bob snapped, cutting Pete off.

“What?” Gerard asked urgently.”

Bob called for more water and whatever we could find to mop up fresh blood. Apparently whatever had attacked Patrick had torn deep enough to cause severe bleeding and we had nothing to stich the wound with.

“So what do we do?” I asked, handing him the last few bandages we had. Patrick was bleeding out a lot and I was actually getting worried he’d pass out.

“Duct tape. That’s all we have.” He replied. “Frank, get the duct tape.”

I scrambled to find the backpack from our scavenging trip, my fingers closing around the half roll of duct tape as I emptied the bag onto the floor.

“Cut it into five strips for me.”

I did as I was told, handing each one to Gerard to hand to Bob when he asked for them. The wound slowly stopped bleeding, we had run out of bandages after securing Patrick’s wound so we resorted to one of Ray’s shirts to mop up the last of the blood. Mikey was already going through the process of cleaning the dirtied bandages in an effort to sterilise them later.

I sighed heavily and slumped on the floor, Gerard and Bob were exhausted, Ray said he was going to go and sit on watch. Mikey set about cooking some much needed food as Patrick fell into a slumber, Pete finally moved from his post and stood in front of me.

“Thanks.” He uttered, casting eyes to Patrick. “To all of you.”

I stood up, locking eyes with him in the heavy silence that followed his words. “We did it for him, not for you.” I stated lowly, hands balling into fists.

“Frank don’t--” Gerard started but I silenced him.

“No Gee, he has to know.” I snapped, briefly breaking eye contact with Pete to stare at the older Way. “We haven’t forgiven you for what you did.” I continued, Pete shrunk back slightly as I took a step towards him.

“Look I know you hate me, I didn’t want to--”

“Bullshit. You left me and Mikey to die in that Horde!” I shouted. “You’ve hated me from the beginning and you saw your opportunity to finally be rid of me.”

“I did it to protect Patrick!” he shouted back, stepping towards me so we were a few inches from each other.

“And what happened to ‘I don’t want to have anyone else die because of stupid mistakes’ huh? ‘cause to me; leaving two people in the middle of a horde is kind of fucking stupid!”

“It’s the god damn apocalypse Frank! It’s the survival of the fittest and I’m so sorry if you’re not up to it.”

I was losing my patience with his attitude. “Are you fucking serious? Your friend nearly died and you’re gonna tell me it’s the survival of the fittest? Are you listening to yourself talk out of your ass?” I got closer to him, clenching my fists by my sides. “Should’ve known you’d come crawling back like the pathetic cockroach you’ve always been.”

He launched forward, tackling me to the floor before sitting up and punching me in the jaw. I scrambled to gain the upper hand, the others were yelling at us to stop but I ignored their pleas; reaching up and yanking on Pete’s straggly hair and getting him to release the grip he had around my neck. My knee came up to his stomach, pushing him off me and I brought my hands up to further shove his chest away from me.

Before I could stand up he had tackled me again, my head slamming into the floor and his fist connecting with my chest. I saw red as my side flared with the bruising still painful to touch. I kicked him in the stomach, harsher than before and punched his neck – winding him – I stood up and kicked his side before a pair of hands closed around my shoulders and pulled me back.

“What the fuck Frank!” Bob called, dragging me over to the fire as Gerard rushed to Pete’s winded body.

“He threw the first punch.”

“You called him a cockroach.”

“Oh come off of it Bob, the guy’s a nutcase and he’s still in denial!” I snapped, shrugging his grasp off.

“He’s just had to drag his injured friend here and watch us patch him up and you’re gonna start stirring up old shit?” Bob was actually rather pissed it seemed, he took my shoulders again and shook me slightly. I was aware my lip was bleeding and my chest was sore but him shaking me just made my head hurt a little bit. “I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened but you just need to let it go Frank. You’re still alive and so is Mikey so just get the fuck over yourself and realise that we’re depending on each other to survive.”

I looked to Mikey, he had been quiet this entire time and was staring at the embers of the fire. Bob was right, we were alive no thanks to Pete.

“Frank.”

“Alright!” I barked. “I get it…”

Pete had stood up, looking worse for wear, he limped over to us and glared at me. “I guess…I…I was wrong to abandon you and Mikey.” He uttered. I regarded him with a stare but said nothing. “I just panicked…”

“Food’s ready.” Mikey murmured. “Why don’t we all just sit and eat?”

“Good idea.” Gerard jumped in. “Let’s just take a breather.”

I took my place next to the younger Way, Pete slumped on the floor next to the coach where Patrick lay and slowly ate the stew Mikey made during the chaos. He held his stomach as he started sobbing into the bowl. I felt kind of guilty now.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typical how the moment I want to update the story, the entire site goes down for maintenance!   
> Ah well, gotta respect the people working behind the scenes to make this all possible :3  
> Sorry for the 3 week wait, there's a thing called coursework and it stole all my free time for this month -.-

**Twenty-three**

**Gerard**

The thing about Frank was that he finds it hard to trust people normally, Mikey was only trustworthy in his eyes because of the bullying incident in middle school that they quickly bonded over. I didn’t even realise that it was a problem until Pete arrived on the scene and caused all of this chaos. Frank was never really the violent type; sure he had fought occasionally during middle school and in his freshman year but we had never seen him fight like that until that night, it was totally out of character and it scared us slightly. Mikey hadn’t said anything about it, probably because he wanted to stay neutral in this ordeal and I didn’t want to see like the bad guy so I was actually quite happy that Bob had been the one to slap some sense to him.

Patrick’s condition hadn’t improved much, Pete had stayed by his side throughout all of it and was nursing the hand he punched Frank with. Ray had been sympathetic and took a look at it; bandaging it up tightly to prevent any further injury but we didn’t have any painkillers so Pete would have to soldier through it. Regardless, there was a stalemate now between the two of them and it wasn’t getting any easier as another storm approached.

I was beginning to wonder if something else had happened on that scavenging trip that I hadn’t been told about yet, I tried asking Frank but he was still too wound up to talk properly and my brother was overly cautious about anyone coming near him.

Bob was grumbling to himself when I found him on lookout, he didn’t really give me much indication about anything out of the ordinary when they left the house, I was suspicious but there wasn’t much else to do other than wait for Frank or Ray to slip up and tell me what happened. If there was one thing about Bob that I knew from this short time it was that he could be more stubborn than Frank when it came to this type of thing.

There was little to do; the food supplies were topped up, we were collecting rain water as the storm went on. The closed quarters were proving to be a problem as everyone was stepping on each other constantly, Pete still just sat by the couch not saying anything to anyone. Frank wasn’t really being difficult as such moreover he was being too quiet for anyone to make sense of anything, Mikey was still overly cautious of any word said to Frank, making my life a living hell as I was supposed to be in charge of these idiots. It was all rather childish in the end, then again we were just high school students thrown into the apocalypse.

Frank’s rebellious nature had disappeared it seemed. He just wanted to stay alive but the fire in his words and actions were gone. I was worried that he had gone insane, maybe he was just growing up a bit at long last. I pretty much dragged him up to the lookout one evening to sit on watch because I was sick of the silence.

“Frank what’s going on?” I sighed as soon as we sat down.

“Dunno what you’re referring to Gee.” He murmured.

“Something happened out there didn’t it? You’ve all been really quiet since you got back and I know it’s not just because of Pete and Patrick being here.”

He shifted in his seat, rubbing scabbed hands over his grubby face, we hadn’t properly cleaned ourselves since the night Pete and Patrick arrived and it was getting dire, the smell of teenage boy was only overpowered by the smell damp wood.

“Frankie...come on.” I sighed, I didn’t refer to him as Frankie often but when I did it usually meant I was tired of his shit.

“We found two people.” He replied bluntly, his voice low as if he didn’t even want to tell me. “Survivors on their way to a base...”

“A base?” I asked, this was the first I had heard of anything of the sort.

“Yeah, south of San Luis.”

“And when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

He swallowed, not looking at me as the silence fell. There lay the answer; he wasn’t going to tell us.

“Okay, so why were you hesitant?” I sighed, changing my direction of interrogation.

“I didn’t want us to go off on a wild goose chase only to find it’s a lie or that it’s not what we wanted...that we are better off here after all.” He murmured, wringing his hands in his lap. “And besides, we _are_ fine here. There’s no reason to leave.”

He had a point, there wasn’t any real reason to leave on our part, whether the other two left once Patrick was strong enough was up to them. I knew Frank wouldn’t approve in the slightest of them sticking around, not after what they did. Then again he’d have to move on sooner or later as Bob helpfully pointed out.

“You don’t want them to stay, do you?” I said quietly.

“Nope.” He stated. “Why would I? Sure we’re fine here but there’s only a certain amount of supplies.”

I nodded, he was right but that didn’t mean we were going to act on it. It was really up to the others whether we’d take the chance and leave, I knew Mikey would most likely side with Frank but Ray and Bob would be unpredictable.

“As much as I’d like to agree with you…it would be harsh to just kick them out again.” I murmured, my eyes fixing on the clouds overhead.

“I don’t care. It was harsh for them to abandon us.”

“Frank please--”

“No Gerard, listen to me. I’m not going to be able to just let this go, as much as you and the others want me to I just can’t okay? I had to let go all of the abuse I had in middle school because I was too weak to fight back well now the tables have turned. I’m not going to be pushed around anymore!” he stated, hands balling into fists.

I was slightly stunned by his outburst but I wasn’t surprised either. He had really changed in the past few weeks and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Either way, he wasn’t letting this go so there was no way this was going to simply disappear.

**~*~**

Patrick was conscious again, something about the smell of fish seemed to stir him from his slumber. Pete seemed less tense now that his friend was awake but refused to speak to anyone other than Bob and Patrick. It made sense in a way; after Frank’s outburst he probably thought we all hated him. We sent Frank and Mikey out to gather some water from the river and jars of rainwater, giving me a chance to talk to Pete without the threat of another scrap.

“How are you doing?” I asked as I slumped next to him on the floor.

“Can’t complain, my hands are healing at last and you guys are being real kind to us; letting us have your food and your couch for Pat…”

“You guys have a plan for when Patrick’s better?” I asked, casting a glance to Ray by the fire.

Pete shook his head, staring at his healing hands and said nothing.

“I would offer for you to stay here but you know Frank’s still pissed at you…”

“I apologised to him…why is he still annoyed?”

“Not before saying he wasn’t fit to survive the apocalypse…” I mused. “Anyway, regardless of what you did or didn’t say, Frank’s not going to change his mind so you can’t stay here indefinitely.”

“I know…I just don’t want to put Pat in any more danger…I just want it to be over…” he croaked, I looked at him and noticed a single tear rolling down his bruised cheek. “It’s all too much…”

I didn’t say anything, watching him begin to sob whilst Patrick slowly eased himself to sit up and tap Pete on the shoulder.

“Hey…dude.” Patrick whispered. Pete stopped sobbing long enough to glance back at him. “Andy and Joe are gone. But I’m still here Pete. I don’t give up easily and you know that.”

“I nearly got you killed so many times though!” Pete cried, wiping his tears away and turning to face Patrick. “I spat all of that shit about survival of the fittest yet we’ve both nearly died because of my stupid choices…Andy and Joe _did_ die because of them…”

I looked to Ray who just shrugged.

“So we survive. We live. There’s nothing to be gained from wallowing in despair over their deaths, you know they both want us to carry on and if anything help stop this bullshit continuing.”

“How? We’re both tired, running low on supplies and you’re now injured.”

The base Frank told me about popped into my mind. “Um, I have a suggestion.” I said, looking to Ray again with a raised eyebrow. “So someone told me about a base south of San Luis…”

“Ah…yeah…” Ray uttered, knowing that I wasn’t impressed by his silence. “We were gonna mention that.”

“A base? Like this one?” Patrick asked.

“They didn’t say how big it was.” Ray replied. “They’re running low on supplies apparently but they gave the impression they’ve gotten a farm or something set up similar to here.”

“So you could both head there once you’ve recovered enough.” I finished. “I mean Frank and Mikey think we’re fine here with what we’ve got but it sounds ideal for you two.”

A small smile flashed across Pete’s face. “Thank you.” He murmured. “I honestly can’t thank you enough Gerard. I remember Mikey telling me you were a cool dude but you’ve done nothing but help us…he didn’t give you enough credit.”

I felt myself blush slightly, I didn’t even think about how much I’ve helped these two. “Don’t worry about it, so do you think you’ll head for that base then?”

They looked at each other before nodding. “Yeah, we probably will once I’ve recovered enough.”

I felt a sense of relief wash over us, Bob came stomping down the stairs a while later and checked Patrick over. Maybe things were beginning to look up after all, Frank would be more than happy to see the back of these two but it did raise the question of just what our long-term plan was. Bob reported that it had been quiet today on lookout, he suspected that the storm was keeping them from wandering too much which kicked off a debate about how quickly their bodies would decompose.

My brother returned without Frank, putting us all into silence.

“He’s sitting outside on the porch to get some air. Can’t say I blame him.” Mikey explained, gesturing to the door. “How is everyone?”

We all grunted in varying tones, nothing much had changed other than Patrick actually being awake. Mikey slipped his battered sneakers off his feet before placing them by the fire to dry out. What little daylight we had was disappearing which was causing me some concern.

Ray and Bob started up the debate about decomposing zombies again for lack of another topic. I would’ve killed for some kind of entertainment like a tv or comic book because forever talking about zombies was getting old and digging through our past lives would’ve hurt too much. It was completely dark outside when Frank actually came through the door, Patrick had fallen asleep again and Pete was on his way to dreamland too so at least there wasn’t a chance of another argument. He nodded in greeting to each of us before curling up in Mikey’s hold, clearly he didn’t feel like talking.

**~*~**

“You reckon they’ll be gone in a few days then?” I asked Bob as we inspected Pete’s truck. The storm had let up enough for us to check that the truck could still run after the chaos it went through getting here.

“If Patrick’s wounds heal as quickly as Frank’s then yeah, I’d say four at most.” He replied, kicking the tire closest to him. “This doesn’t look too bad.”

“And we’re just gonna stay here right?”

He moved around and popped the hood, peering in at the guts of the truck. “I guess.” He grunted. “I mean I’m not in a hurry to leave and Ray doesn’t mind as long as we figure out a way to secure the building better.”

I nodded, at least that eased my mind. Bob’s eventual analysis of the truck was that it may take a few attempts to get going but it was still in working order. The day was bright but there was a chill in the air, winter was definitely on the way although no-one had any idea what month it was anymore as we stopped making marks on the door frame.

“It’s unusual to get so much rain in California.” Bob remarked as he slammed the hood down. “Normally it’s a desert.”

“Maybe it’s got something to do with the zombies.” I mused. “God knows what’s going on anymore.”

We made our way inside; Patrick was sat up, since his injuries weren’t causing him too much pain, with Pete lounging on the couch next to him. Frank was nowhere to be seen but Mikey was sorting out food by the fire. I hadn’t really spoken to him alone in a few days, not with the chaos that erupted when Pete and Patrick arrived anyway.

“Alright?” I asked as I sat next to him.

“Yeah.” He replied quietly.

“What’s up? You’ve been rather quiet these past few days.”

He poked the fire with a large stick, it popped in response but he said nothing.

“Mikes…” I dropped my voice so the others wouldn’t hear. “Is something wrong?”

He cast a glance to the others before nodding slightly. “I don’t want to spook the others.”

“Wanna talk about it later when we do a water run?”

He nodded again, I sighed, Mikey rarely kept things from me so this was concerning me just a little bit. Frank’s distant nature was also unsettling but I could only really handle one at a time. I waited until we rotated the watch shift so Frank was occupied and I could talk to my brother alone.

The woodland was growing quickly thanks to the recent rain, the river was also benefitting from it with a raised level. We sat on the bank and filled the two jars with water before relaxing a little. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed slightly.

“Something’s going to…” he uttered. “I just feel like we’re in a lot of danger.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re out in the open, vulnerable to attack from all sides with next to no way to defend ourselves.”

“But we have two cases of ammo for both the assault rifle and the handguns, we also have the knives that Frank loves so much.” I replied, “It’s not as bad as it could be.”

“Gee, what happens when a horde arrives? We can’t fight them off indefinitely here, we need backup or else we’re all going to _die_ out here.” He said, clenching the jar in his hands. “I don’t want to die Gee...not like Helena did...not like Andy and Joe...I want to die of old age with Frank by my side and my body in one piece.”

I drew him into a hug, he murmured into my jacket but I couldn’t make out words. I sighed heavily and buried my face in his hair, he was right to a certain extent; we couldn’t defend ourselves for much longer out here. God only knew what would happen when winter arrived fully.

“We’ll figure something out Mikey...once Pete and Patrick leave for the San Luis base we can figure out what to do with ourselves.”

“They’re leaving for San Luis?” He asked, pulling away. “Just the two of them?”

“Well unless you think Frank’s suddenly gonna want to join them, yeah.”

He hummed, I should’ve anticipated that he’d want to leave with Pete but then again I honestly thought he’d side with Frank. He collapsed back into my hold and sat there on the bank of the river in an embrace, he sobbed for a few minutes before we figured that we’d have to go back to make sure the house wasn’t a warzone again.

The first thing that was wrong was the fact that Patrick was stood up. Frank was sharpening his knife and Pete was loading his own rifle with a magazine. Bob told us that Ray had spotted a large horde heading for us so it was all hands on deck. Mikey immediately went off in search of the handgun he kept by the fireplace, I ventured upstairs to see what Ray’s reading on the situation was.

“They’re quick, I can tell there’s mutants in there too.” He told me, loading the assault rifle.

“Oh god...this could be it for us then...”

“Try to be positive.” He sighed. “We gotta believe in ourselves.”

I nodded, taking the second handgun from the table. “Well then, I guess we better form a plan of attack.”

We flew downstairs, the others were all ready for whatever awaited us out there. Patrick seemed unsteady though so I told him to position himself in the watch-room with his sniper rifle and lend cover if he could manage it, Bob and Frank would stick with the knives they were so familiar with, Ray and Pete would provide the heavy gun fire leaving Mikey and I with the handguns.

“So what if one of us goes down?” Bob asked, sheathing one of his knives so he could stretch his arms out.

“We save them…if we can.” I replied, casting a glance to Frank. “Don’t just leave them for dead unless it’s too risky for you to intervene. Don’t forget that Patrick is upstairs with the sniper so he should be able to yell out for assistance.”

No-one else said anything, I noticed Frank move to Mikey’s hold, pressing himself against my brother. The last time we properly took a stand against a horde in these surroundings someone died and I knew that still weighed on all our minds. Pete inhaled deeply and rubbed the back of his neck, I nudged his elbow and gave him a reassuring smile which he returned half-heartedly.

“So they’re a few minutes away.” Ray reported, coming down the stairs from the watch-room. “We gonna meet them out there or wait for them to tear the door down?”

“We take the fight to them.” I stated. “Bob, Frank, you hang back whilst Pete and Ray take out the first wave. Mikey and I will pick off the strays and then you go in and gut them.” I rattled off, feeling somewhat like a general in the military.

Mikey kissed Frank desperately before letting Bob tear him away, I felt a pang in my chest. Something about watching them kissing as if it could be the last time made me feel more determined to keep them both alive at whatever cost.

“You ready then?” Ray asked me.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I second that.” Pete chimed. “I have a score to settle with these bastards.”

“So do we.” Ray murmured.

Pete held out a clenched fist to me, I raised mine to meet his as did Ray.

“Let’s get on with it then.” I declared.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a very surreal moment when I find myself breathless after writing a chapter...  
> Anyway!  
> Things are beginning to wrap up now at college...as with this fanfic.  
> Also I may have based a lot of this chapter off Final Fantasy and Assassin's Creed gameplay...

**Twenty-four**

**Frank**

I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want anyone to die, not even _Pete_ for fucks sake. I was done with death, Mikey was terrified of ending up like Helena and Pete was doing anything to protect Patrick, I just wanted all this to be over.

“Focus Frank.” Bob uttered beside me inside the door. The sun was high in the sky and a light breeze whipped across the open land, the horde hadn’t noticed us yet. Pete and Ray were using the truck as cover whilst they debated a plan of who to aim for first, the Way brothers were camped on the porch.

“I am focused.” I whispered.

The signal from Ray was given to brace for gunfire. I inhaled deeply as they open fired on the horde, the first wave of mundane zombies reacted reasonably slowly to the hail of bullets; falling to the ground with and without their heads intact. The rest of them however seemed to rally together.

A large female with ugly rashes up and down her arms led the bizarre charge of broken and bloody bodies. Pete and Ray disabled most of the frontmen before the Ways had to step up and start taking potshots at them. I was aware of Patrick sniping headshots from above us which gave me little comfort.

“You ready?” Bob asked.

“I’ll have to be.” I replied, turning my knife over in my fingers.

Gerard yelled for us to go as they all reloaded. I chose to go after the female that was still leading the charge, she wasn’t that much taller than me. Bob volleyed over the truck’s hood and drove the larger knife into the back of one and kicked another away, I ducked out of the way of a long arm reaching for my head and tore through the stomach of her. She screeched in apparent pain and began to savagely lunge for me. I looked away as I ran the blade through her neck; ceasing movement of her body with a guttural moan and spurting blood over my hand and arm.

“Frank!” Bob shouted at me.

I spun around, dislodging my blade from the neck of the female and leaving her to crumple to the ground, to be faced with a brute who’s boils looked fit to burst from puss. I nearly gagged at the sight of it lumbering towards me in the chaos of gunfire. It roared as it got closer and my response was to kick it in the stomach before launching myself at it – a bad choice as it bounced back and slammed me into the ground, pinning me there. Bob’s fist came out of nowhere and nailed it in the head, winding it enough for me to scramble off the ground and decapitate it.

“Where the fuck did you get the strength to rip through its spine?” Bob asked, panting heavily in the brief rest bite.

I shrugged, my shoulder sending a sharp pain through me but I had to ignore it as the next wave of gunfire ran out. They had to be low on bullets by now as the rest of the mundane zombies fell, Gerard and Mikey were now with us in the chaos finishing off the stragglers by shooting through their necks to disable their movement. I didn’t realise how much blood was on me until I looked at my hands, I didn’t want to debate what the white stuff was after that last encounter.

“Watch your back.” Bob said, shoving me out of the way of a falling body.

“Guys we got mutants.” Mikey called.

I looked up, a group of adults clumped together moved slowly towards us, they seemed more organised than the rest; like they knew what we were doing and they knew our weaknesses. I sensed a fear of the unknown when I looked at them.

“How do you wanna handle this?” I asked Gerard, the gunfire had ceased as Pete and Ray made their way to join us in the field of bodies. I counted fifteen mutants to our six, seven if you included Patrick into the equation, which would be a challenge considering these mutants were capable of doing more damage than the others.

“I don’t know.” He answered. “Any ideas anyone?”

“How about we just shoot them?” Pete uttered, raising his weapon.

I clenched my knife, Bob handed me a different style of blade and told me it was a throwing knife. Meanwhile the mutants had stopped approaching and simply stood staring us down, raspy groans filling the air between us.

“You said you faced them before…how do they attack?” Ray asked Pete.

“They’re like a pack of rabid dogs. We thought we could just outrun them and simply disable them by shooting their legs out. We were wrong. They get mad and harder to kill if you don’t kill them first time ‘round.”

“So even if we shoot them there’s gonna be eight left…” Bob stated, moving to the front of our group.

The mutants began to move again as a solid mass, I could pick out features of some of them; mangled hair, rashes and boils covering their bodies, ripped clothing and the stench of rotting flesh. I turned the throwing knife over in my hand and stepped in line with Bob, I had never thrown a knife before and now seemed like a do or die moment.

“Why the fuck not?” I uttered.

“Let’s go then.” Pete declared, taking charge of the situation it seemed. I nodded and launched the dainty blade at the first mutant, it sunk into their eye with a spine-chilling squelch which caused them to roar in anguish. The others took this as a signal to attack just as Pete said they would.

My ears rang with the sudden eruption of gunfire and screeching, I ran with Bob to meet the remains of the horde, slashing the limbs that flew at me and dodging the attempts to wound me. I was knocked to the ground unexpectedly and winded, Gerard pulled me up as he fought them back. Patrick was a good shot with the sniper rifle; two had been eliminated already so that bought the number to deal with down to six. I ran my knife through the back of the neck of one approaching Ray quickly and sprang out of the way of the raining bullets.

The mutants regrouped, five against the six of us in the field, I was panting heavily from the quick movements and my shoulder burned. Mikey appeared next to me with the right side of his face covered in blood.

“Jesus fuck.” I exhaled. “What happened?”

“Bob decapitated one of the others in front of me…” he murmured.

Another screech made my ears buzz, before I knew what was happening I was pinned to the ground again under the form of a diseased thing. A ghastly stench emitted from its mouth and I froze in confusion. Mikey’s handgun fired two bullets through its head but that seemed to do nothing as it snapped its jaws at my face. My blade found my fingers and I plunged it into its side, it gave a howl and rolled off, waving its arms around as if it was possessed.

I scrambled to my feet to see Mikey shoot it through the neck. Things weren’t looking too bad at this point; we got rid of the final four and stood around the last body feeling weirdly happy.

“…we made it.” I uttered. “We actually made it.”

“…now what?” Mikey asked.

Before a response could be given we heard another screech, turning to the source we were met with another horde. They must’ve heard the commotion and come in search of its source, it was twice the size of the one we had just eliminated and we could already tell there were more mutants.

“…now we deal with this?” Bob asked uncertainly, voice shaking ever-so-slightly.

I looked to Gerard, he had gone pale at the sight of the other horde. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of going through another fight to the death, especially as I had just come close to death several times.

“Back up to the house. We need cover and Patrick’s backup.” Pete said, bumping Gerard’s shoulder. “We can’t fight out here, we’ll be overrun in seconds.”

No-one argued, I gathered the knives left in two of the bodies and we ran for the house, the horde crept forward; curious but not in any hurry to fight. It was puzzling to say the least, they seemed to have some kind of intelligence to first track us and then decide not to attack instantly.

“We need a plan guys.” I urged them. “We need a fucking plan!”

“Calm down.” Pete snapped.

“We’ll do what we did last time.” Gerard added, giving Pete a glare to get him to stop talking. “We have enough ammo…barely.”

I didn’t like it, we didn’t have the energy to do this again. My shoulder burned and my side was throbbing again which wasn’t good. Patrick hobbled down the stairs and stated he was going to camp on the truck cause he didn’t want to get trapped upstairs if they got inside. With little enthusiasm we posted ourselves like before; the horde had gotten closer and we could see the mutants staring at us.

“Ready?” Gerard asked, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “Fire at will!”

Ray and Pete open fired again, aiming for the heads and necks, the Ways both picked off the stragglers, Patrick sniped quickly. Bob and I charged forward; blood stained blades in hand, as they reloaded. All pain in my shoulder flared as I hacked and slashed at skin and bone, at least I had two knives this time so I could attempt to use both blades at once. I heard Bob’s guttural cries as he worked his way through body after body with the larger knife, Gerard and Mikey had joined us in the middle of the chaos now, apparently they found a baseball bat and a Ray’s spiked wooden plank by chance so they could properly do some damage.

I ducked, slide, swerved and jumped out of the way of swinging limbs and snapping jaws alike, I was getting really tired and my body was giving out on me but I had to keep going, I _had_ to stay alive for Mikey.

“Firing!” Ray called to us. We dove for cover as gunfire rang out, I landed next to Gerard in a heap and found I couldn’t move without my side screaming in pain.

“Come on Frankie.” Gerard begged me, loading the handgun before the zombies got closer to us. “Power through it.”

“I can’t.” I panted, forcing myself to sit up but after that I couldn’t do anymore.

“Yes you can!” Gerard shouted over another round of gunfire. “You can and you will!” He grabbed my wrist and hauled me to my feet; firing ahead of us. “Because you have to live Frank!”

I saw Mikey and Bob tag team a large mutant with half an arm missing; Bob primarily winding it and Mikey coming up instantly and caving in its head with Ray’s spiked plank. I could do this. With them I could do this.

“With you then.” I murmured.

“Got it.” Gerard replied, setting off at a run. I launched myself to run with him; knives poised to attack.

He shot one in the shoulder, I bounded around its flailing arms and sliced its neck, spinning around and embedding both blades in to the chest of another, Gerard’s bullets finishing the job. Both of us worked our way through the horde, both mundanes and mutants falling, Ray and Pete joined the bloodbath as we hacked and shot our way through.

Out of nowhere I was smashed in the side; skidding over ground and bodies before coming to a rest in the mixture of mud and blood. I blinked, my head hurt like hell, I could heard the others shouting and the guns firing, I clenched my knives; feeling my shoulder crack when I moved it. I used my good arm to sit up, vision was blurred and my entire right side burned in pain.

“Mikey!” I heard Gerard scream in the cloudiness of my mind.

My head snapped up, the largest mutant I’ve seen dragged the younger way to the floor, large cat like claws tore at his shirt with its mouth opened grotesquely.

“No!” I screamed, springing to my feet despite the pain and sprinting at it. It couldn’t have Mikey, Mikey couldn’t die, I had to keep him alive. I had to live for him and he had to live for me.

My feet thundered over the corpses, fingers tightened around the handles of my blades, heart slamming into my chest. I sprang onto its back; lodging both blades into its neck. It roared and dropped Mikey’s limp and bloody body, shaking me off with ease. Bob then jumped onto it and dug in his blade, it showed little more than irritation.

I looked from it to Mikey and back again. It stumbled backwards under Bob’s weight but refused to fall, I ignored my right leg’s flaring agony and ran at it again this time aiming to karate kick it in the side to topple it over. Success was granted but it still showed no sign of dying a second time around. Gerard put several bullets in its head but that did nothing.

“What the fuck is this thing?!” Bob protested as he backed off. “It’s impossible to kill!”

Ray and Pete had dragged Mikey away, Pete was now unleashing the entire magazine of bullets left in his gun at this thing as it stood back up; form slouched, jaw hung open and limps bloodied.

“Fuck this shit, give me a boost.” I demanded to Bob, he looked at me wide eyed but complied, cupping his hands and nodding for me to run when the time was right as Gerard and Pete distracted it. I took his knife and sheathed one of my own as I prepared to run again on my almost certainly sprained leg.

“I’ll try to catch you!” Bob called.

“Don’t worry about me!” I yelled as I ran, right leg raging in pain as I flew up.

Using Bob’s knife as a grappling hook when I landed on the thing’s back, I wrapped my legs around its neck and plunged both my knives through its skull. Withdrawing them when it howled in pain and levering myself to its shoulder and continuing to stab down its spine to immobilise it, it leaned backwards and I lost my balance, grabbing Bob’s knife as I fell so I’d leave a large open wound from wherever it had been lodged.

It fell with a loud thud, as did I. Gerard and Pete moved quickly to make sure it was dead. Bob helped me up and tried to get me to let him check my body for injuries but my sights fell on Mikey’s lifeless body. With my heart in my throat I brushed Bob off and hobbled as quickly as my legs would allow.

“Mikey!” I cried, collapsing next to him. Ray looked to be forlornly.

“He has a pulse, he’s bleeding a lot though Frank and you know we don’t have any bandages.” Ray told me, my ears were ringing, my heart thundering.

I stripped off both the short sleeve and long sleeved shirt I was wearing and shoved it at Ray. “Do something then!” I pleaded, gripping Mikey’s hand as my chest broke out in goosebumps from the breeze.

Ray looked behind me and then nodded, tearing strips of fabric apart before going to work on the gashes and open wounds. I watched with shaking hands. Mikey’s eyes opened slowly but he barely stayed with us for a few seconds before falling unconscious again, I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling as I willed with every thought in my body for him to wake up again.

Gerard was distraught, he ordered us to move Mikey to the house once Ray had stabilised him enough, Bob complied. I couldn’t walk without stumbling, Pete picked me up without a word and carried me back. I felt him struggling to stop the tears that were falling. Ray and Bob went straight to work on Mikey, I was forced to sit and let Patrick patch me up, Gerard paced the room like a caged lion. The room was silent except with Ray’s murmurings to Bob. I sobbed from both the pain of my injuries and the pain in my chest at seeing Mikey like this.  It was dark by the time they moved away from the couch. I was almost too scared to ask, I was thankful that Gerard couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Is he…” the older Way choked.

“He’s not okay.” Bob replied, Ray was speechless, he too was near tears. “He needs…he needs help. More qualified help. I can’t help him other than bandaging him up with Frank’s shirt.” I hobbled to Mikey’s side, slipping my hand into his, he was warm. I couldn’t control myself.

“Then we need to get him help.” Pete stated, voice horse.

“Where?” Bob asked.

“San Luis.” Patrick replied. “How quickly do we need to get him there?”

“Oh _you’re_ not driving.” Pete remarked.

I tuned them out, I pressed my shaking lips to Mikey’s still ones. My heart thudded steadily as I ran through the thoughts of a life without him, the unthinkable and unbearable life without Mikey Way.

“We’re going then.” Gerard declared loudly over the voices. “Pack the truck and plan a route, we leave as soon as possible.”

I didn’t move, my leg was throbbing dully but that was the least of my problems. I cupped Mikey’s face with my hands and rested my forehead against his. Gerard touched my shoulder as he knelt down next to me.

“Hey.” He whispered.

“…I can’t do it Gee.” I cried.

“I know.” He choked. “But he’s alive, let’s keep him that way.”

He made a point. I forced myself to stand up and put a shirt on, I couldn’t do much lifting because of my leg so I helped Patrick plan a route to the area that I was told the base was in, our plan was to hopefully signal to them that we weren’t hostile thugs. Mikey slipped in and out of consciousness, Gerard and I took it in turns to sit by him so when he did wake up we could comfort him and ourselves.

I couldn’t sleep, I was drained sure but I couldn’t force my body to sleep. With little else to do I sat on watch, the bodies lay in the darkness, the afternoon’s events replaying in my mind. When I thought about it; the last mutant was unlike anything we had encountered. It was stronger than the rest and took a heck of a lot more to bring down, that thought wasn’t comforting in the slightest. If we couldn’t get hold of any more ammo then there was no way we’d be able to stop another one completely destroying us. The base near San Luis was sure to have some, or at least be better protected than here, and Mikey needed to get help. He needed to live, there’s no way we’d be able to handle another death at the hands of these monsters.

“Please…let him live…” I whispered to any deity that was listening, cupping my hands against my face. “I don’t care what happens as long as he lives…”

The night didn’t respond, I felt alone up here with everyone else asleep downstairs. I wondered what Mikey was thinking, could he even think right now? Was he dreaming? All I knew about his injuries was that they were potentially life threatening, he bled out heavily in the field and Ray said that my shirts pretty much saved him. It didn’t stop him slipping into a comatose state and that hurt me more; my efforts were useless now and his life hung on how quickly we could get him to the base.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent about an hour listening to Reluctant Heroes.  
> I then spent half an hour staring at my ceiling in deep thought.  
> I then wrote this and nearly made myself cry...so enjoy!~

**Twenty-five**

**Gerard**

This was the living embodiment of my worst nightmare. Okay so a zombie apocalypse seemed fun when we were sat at home two months ago, now it was the sole cause of my brother’s pain and suffering. I was torn up inside, Frank was completely overwhelmed with his emotions, Ray had become reclusive, as for Pete; he blamed everyone including himself.

Patrick and Bob had level heads though. They seemed to be the only ones not losing their minds over this, which was good. The early sunlight of dawn streaked through the boards covering the windows, I hauled myself off the floor and went to find Frank who had disappeared halfway through the night. He was awake, I guessed he had stayed up all night.

“Frank?” I called quietly.

“Yeah?” he sniffed, so he had been crying.

“How are you holding up?” I asked, sitting next to him and patting his knee comfortingly. He shook his head in defeat, rubbing hands over his face and wincing when he shrugged his shoulders.

“I…” he uttered, pausing to sniff loudly. “I don’t want him to die.”

I pulled him in for a tight hug, he started bawling into my chest, I couldn’t stop myself breaking down either. If we didn’t get Mikey seen to then I’d lose my brother and Frank would lose his lover. There was nothing else for it; we would have to leave as soon as the others woke up and we would get him to the base…or die trying.

**~*~**

Against my wishes it was decided that I’d be driving with Patrick giving me directions. Frank would stay with Mikey on the back seats, the others would be on the tailgate as lookouts and picking off anything that got in our way. I wasn’t too enthused at the idea of me being in charge of getting us there but it was irrelevant as long as we got there.

“Are we ready?” I called out the open window. A thud from the tailgate signalled that we were, I glanced in my mirror and caught a glimpse of the bodies still lying in the field, a shiver went down my spine followed by a sense of rage against them.

“Drive Gerard.” Patrick murmured.

I nodded, easing the accelerator down, the truck spluttered at first but revved up quickly. I did my best to keep the driving smooth for everyone’s sake, Frank would whisper to Mikey as he drifted in and out of consciousness. The storms had passed leaving the state in a dense heat, the humidity was uncomfortable but there was a small upside to it; the zombies would decompose faster.

Or that’s what we hoped, the mutants seemed unaffected by things that would kill the mundanes, it left me feeling on edge. Sure we killed one hideously mutated one…but what would happen if more showed up? The entire thing was out of control, it was getting harder to comprehend what true and what was just memories of before. One thing I was sure of was Mikey was my only living family left and I was going to do anything to keep him alive.

“Stay on this road.” Patrick told me. I grunted in reply, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. The truck wasn’t running as well as we wanted; whatever it had been through already had taken a toll on the engine, something that was really beginning to hinder us. The heat was becoming unbearable but I didn’t want to risk running the air conditioning in case the entire truck packed up.

The day progressed slowly, I had to manoeuvre the truck carefully down dirt paths where car wrecks blocked the tarmac. I tried to make at smooth as possible for my brother but I feared that it wasn’t enough when he’d cry out in pain at every pothole and ditch we ran over. At least we knew he was conscious.

“Gee can we stop for a minute? Mikey’s…he’s in pain.” Frank pleaded from behind me.

“No we can’t Frank. We have to keep going or else he might die in this god damn tin can.” I spat, gripping the wheel with all my strength. I sensed Patrick’s eyes on me but he said nothing.

“Gerard--”

“I said no Frank!”

He shrunk back, retreating to Mikey’s groaning form as I muttered cuss words under my breath. A while later there were shouts from the tailgate followed by a lot of thumps to the roof of the cab. I pulled the window down and shouted out to them.

“Three mutants ahead Gee. Not as big as the last one but still a threat.” Ray reported.

“What’s the plan?” Patrick asked me, apparently I was the only one with answers anymore.

“We drive.”

“Gerard.”

“They’re too strong for us, we’ll be killed instantly.”

A gunshot sounded from above us and caused me to jump; the truck lurching with my movements. I fought to keep all four wheels on the poor excuse for a road as Bob shouted something.

“Keep her steady Gerard!”

“What the fuck are you doing up there?” I shouted back.

“Just drive!” Pete replied before another gunshot sounded. This time Patrick’s hands took hold of the wheel next to mine to keep the truck steady like Bob ordered. My eyes met his and we had an understanding; keep driving and let the others handle it.

I didn’t even see the mutant until it appeared in the road, I nearly slammed on the brakes out of instinct but Mikey’s sudden cry of pain spurred the exact opposite. With a hasty call to the others I sped the truck up, bracing myself for some resistance. It struck the hood with a loud thud, the wheels skidding slightly but I didn’t let up on the accelerator, it was still alive but Bob’s knife to the skull put out of action and the momentum of the truck discarded the body into the bushes on the side of the road.

“Gee…Gee…” Mikey’s weakened whimper came from the backseat out of the nowhere.

“Yeah Mikey?”

“Gee…”

Patrick’s hands appeared at the wheel as my concentration lapsed, I turned around to see my brother’s pale face and bloody shirt, I almost completely turned around but my feet were still powering the truck.

“Frank what’s wrong with him?” I asked the younger male.

Frank looked bewilderedly at his lover, hands coming up to Mikey’s face and gently turning it to face me. Mikey was still breathing but he had slipped into unconsciousness again. Frank looked back at me with fearful eyes.

“Gerard…please…I-I can’t lose him.”

All of these emotions pumping through me were clouding my judgement. “Patrick can you take the wheel? I’m gonna get us all killed at this rate.”

He looked at me with disbelieving eyes but nodded, we pulled over and kept the truck running as we switched seats. The sun was setting slowly and we _really_ needed to get to the base soon.

**~*~**

“Another horde!” Pete shouted to us, we had driven through two others already since the sun began setting, I had no idea how they could spot them but I wasn’t questioning it at this stage. “Bigger than the last!”

I closed my eyes briefly, I was losing the will to live if this was all we’d ever know from now on. “Frank, you need to get up there.” I uttered.

“What?” Frank replied quickly. “No. I’m not leaving him.”

“Guys we have a couple of mutants…one is--oh god.” Bob stopped halfway through his sentence and open fired. A thud rocked the truck, followed by cries from the others. “Son of a bitch is on the tailgate!”

“Frank they need help.” I said. “I’ll look after him, you’re more useful to them then I could ever be.”

The mad scramble that was going on behind us – and on top of the cab itself – was accompanied by grunts and cries of the others, Frank’s gaze went back and forth between my brother and the roof.

“Promise me that we’ll make it there.” He uttered. “Promise me that Gerard.”

“I promise.” I replied, unclipping my seatbelt and readying myself to jump into the footwell behind the driver’s seat.

With a nod and a kiss to Mikey’s pale forehead, Frank slipped out the sunroof to engage in the battle against whatever was up there. I closed it behind him and took one of Mikey’s hands in mine.

“Gee.” He whispered.

“I’m here buddy.” I murmured. The truck was bumping violently and the chaos above us was loud and concerning to say the least. “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

“I don’t…want to die.” He continued. “Not like this.”

“I know you don’t, you told me remember?” I fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. “We’re gonna get you to the San Luis base and they’re gonna help you.”

He coughed, wincing in pain as he settled back down. “Where’s…where’s Frankie?” he asked, reaching for a hand that wasn’t there.

“He’s battling a zombie, he’s fighting to keep us moving.”

“But…”

“There’s a mutant on the tailgate, they’re trying to get rid of it.”

“I want…I want him here.”

I inhaled deeply, this was worrying, he was giving up slowly and it was heart-breaking to see him like this. Patrick told us it was a little over an hour until we’d get anywhere near San Luis, I didn’t want to spend another minute in this truck with my brother slowly losing blood, with my friends fighting for survival above us, with the threat of dying just around the corner.

“Son of a bitch!” a cry came from above us before a loud thud. “That’ll teach you.”

The sunroof opened and Pete’s beaten and torn body gingerly climbed down into the front passenger seat. “It’s gone.” He told us. “But I’ve fucked my wrist up so I’m no good anymore.”

Frank’s head came into view as he peered down at us. “He okay?”

I nodded. “He’s asking for you.”

The back of the truck got very cramped as Frank wriggled down and took Mikey’s free hand in his. “I’m here Mikey.”

A small smile appeared on my brother’s face. “My Frankie…” he whimpered. “And my brother…”

I didn’t like where this was going. “Yeah we’re here Mikey.” I replied.

“I love you guys.” He murmured.

“We love you too.” Frank choked out, kissing Mikey’s forehead. “Just hang in there…we’ll be safe soon.”

“It hurts…everything hurts…”

“Stay with me Mikey.” Frank pleaded, tears were trickling down his cheeks, I couldn’t stop them forming in my eyes either, I didn’t want to believe he was slipping away but he had held on for so long that it was becoming increasingly likely.

“I don’t want to die…”

“Mikey _please_.” Frank cried, squeezing his hand. “Remember the tornado? Remember how I said that I wasn’t ready to die? And…and you agreed…we said it would take more than a tornado to stop us right?”

Mikey nodded meekly.

“Well I’m not ready to watch you die dammit!” Frank was getting more and more hysterical and it was hard to witness but I was borderline hysterical myself; crying and squeezing Mikey’s hand as if it would will him to stay with us. “And I know Gerard isn’t either! We’ve come too far, risked so much, seen so many people die…we’ve lost so many people and I’m not going to lose you too…”

“Frankie…” Mikey whispered, his eyes slipping shut.

“We might not be the heroes like in the video games or the movies but I swear to god you _have_ to live…I don’t want you to just be another memory…” Frank was slowly losing his ability to think straight, nuzzling Mikey’s neck as he mumbled words that meant nothing anymore.

I kept hold of my brother’s hand, unable to say anything, Bob and Ray were peering through the sunroof but didn’t intervene. I wanted to be brave, I wanted to be able to promise Frank that Mikey would live, I wanted to believe in my own words like I used to.

“Gerard, the base is ahead. They might not let us in though…” Pete informed me.

“We have to persuade them.” I sobbed pitifully. “Get…get the others to negotiate…tell them we have an injured…”

Pete nodded, I focused on my brother again as he stirred slightly. “I-It hurts Gee…”

“I know, I know Mikey but we’re nearly there…just hang on…please…” I begged him, Frank was just bawling into Mikey’s shoulder, completely overwhelmed.

**~*~**

“Please, just let us in; we’ll do whatever you want but you have to help my brother!” I begged the woman who was refusing to open the chain linked gate to the compound. Her name was Bryce apparently and she was under strict orders to not let anyone in.

“And how do I know you’ll keep your word?” she asked, folding her arms across her denim jacket.

“My little brother is at death’s door, please just let him in – leave the rest of us out here if that’s what you want. Just help _him_ at least!”

She briefly considered before calling over another guard and muttering something to him. He nodded quickly and sprinted to one of the towers that framed the gateway to the inside.

“Okay, here’s the deal.” She said; hand on the pistol at her waist. “We’ll let you in, you do what we say and when we say it.”

I nodded furiously. “Yes, yes of course.”

“And, you’ll talk to our boss once you’re slightly more presentable. But until then you’re under guard, got it?”

I continued nodding. “Thank-you so much, you have no idea what this means for us.”

She nodded, the gates opened at her signal and a group of armed guards escorted us inside, Mikey and Frank were taken to the infirmary with Pete in tow leaving the rest of us to freshen up and meet this boss of sorts. We were led into the compound that used to be an airfield, the hangers were doubling as various different buildings; infirmary, storage, dormitories and finally; the control room.

Bryce and her guards kept watch over us as we cleaned the blood and dirt off of ourselves as best as we could. I felt like a child at a rival school for a sports game, it was quite unsettling to say the least.  Once we were deemed clean enough Bryce took us to the control room; fairly simplistic and powered by solar power it seemed judging by the panels on the roof and planted in the ground outside, the CCTV of the entire grounds was being broadcasted on tv screens to a collection of people.

“Bryce.” A tall man dressed in torn jeans and an old soccer shirt greeted our escort.

“Will.” She replied. “Where’s the captain?”

“She’s in the office, why?”

“Got some more survivors, three others in the infirmary.”

Will nodded, gesturing to a door on the other side of the room. “She was pouring over the map of the state though so she might be planning another scavenge.”

Bryce shrugged, her long dark hair falling between her shoulders as she gestured for us to follow her to the door. I looked to the others with uncertainty but obeyed, casting a wary glance at the CCTV monitors as we passed them.

“Yo, I found some more.” She said through the slightly open door. “They might actually be useful.”

A muffled response came before we were ushered into a room that was covered in maps and photos. A taller woman was leaning over a map of the state, hair scraped into a messy bun, flannel shirt sleeves rolled up past her elbows, a look of concentration etched into her soft facial features. As we stood there waiting to be spoken to I noticed her handgun at her waist, my fingers twitched for myut my own gun to no avail; Bryce forced us to leave them with the truck but promised they’d still be there once we were done.

“Hi.” The woman greeted finally, standing up fully and placing her hands on her waist.

“Hey…you’re the one in charge?” I asked, the others just nodded in greeting and seemed more than willing to let me do all the talking.

“Yep, they refer to me as the captain but really I’m just a civilian who was actually quick to organise a safehouse.” She replied, stepping around her desk and standing in front of us. “The name’s Jenna.”

“Gerard, these are Bob, Ray and Patrick…my brother Mikey’s in the infirmary with Frank and Pete.”

“Yeah…I heard about that.” Jenna mused. “We have some skilled people down there, they’ll do what they can for your brother.” She folded her arms across her chest. “So where are you from?”

“Ray, Frank, my brother and I are from New Jersey, the others Chicago.”

“Jersey? How the hell did you end up all the way over here?” she seemed surprised. “Actually wait, let’s get you somewhere to sit and you can tell me everything that’s happened, if you don’t mind that is. It’s just that I like to know what my men have been through before I try to order them around.”

For a split second I was going to flip out about being referred to as ‘her men’ but I remembered that they were Mikey’s last hope so I bit my lip, I’d bring it up once I had an update on his condition. We were led into another room, it seemed to be a kit room of sorts; crates of reflective jackets and headgear were shoved haphazardly around to create a small area that a group of people could sit and relax in. Jenna and Bryce sat with us and listened to each of us explain what we had gone through, Ray and I left out certain details to protect our privacy, mainly to do with the nature of Mikey and Frank’s relationship but when the topic of death came up Ray spilt everything about Helena.

I rubbed his back comfortingly as he began sobbing, both Jenna and Bryce looked to me to continue the story of our journey. More specifically though; the last encounter of ours.

“We encountered mutated zombies, Frank and Mikey had found one a few cities back but these were stronger and harder to take down. It was so bloody and…fast.” I murmured.

“I just remember seeing him get tossed aside and hearing Frank screaming his name over and over.” Ray added, sighing heavily. “I-I was the first one there and it honestly looked like he was a goner.”

“God knows what Frank would’ve been like if he has actually died then and there.” Bob chimed.

“He would’ve been torn up like he was in the truck over here…and Gerard too.” Ray replied.

A lump formed in my throat, flashes of my brother’s lifeless body replayed over and over again, the ride over here where he sounded like he was giving up on life. I didn’t want to think about it. A knock at the door spurred me from my thoughts, the guy from before entered and told us that Mikey had woken up, I rose to my feet in less than two seconds and demanded to be taken to him before anything else was discussed. Jenna reluctantly agreed but stated that Bryce’s armed guard would be accompanying us once more, I said I could live with it and set off in search of Mikey.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to update.  
> Life got turned upside down again.

**Twenty-six**

**Frank**

He looked more like a corpse than Mikey. In the bright lights of the makeshift infirmary all his wounds had been visible and I nearly puked at the sight, quite pitiful considering everything I’ve gone through but there were just some things that made my stomach turn. He was barely conscious when they started peeling back the layers of fabric that were drenched with blood, I hovered nervously next to the bed until one of the armed guards asked me to sit down so they could work quickly. Pete’s wrist wasn’t as bad as he thought, just badly sprained rather than broken, so he sat with me as we waited for the cluster of medics to see to Mikey.

“…he’ll make it. You know he will.” Pete whispered to me, trying to comfort me.

“Why him…of all of us why _him_?” I asked, clenching my fists and staring at the concrete floor.

“Because life sucks and we’re lucky that we got him out of there in one piece.”

I looked at him, there was no malice behind his comment, no attempt to annoy me, none of the hostility that had previously been there. No, Pete was genuinely sorry for what had happened, he was genuinely worried about Mikey.

“Listen, I know you probably still hate me but if it’s any consolation I appreciate what you did…with the mutant. I know you only did it to save Mikey but it took guts to do that dude.” He continued. “And you saved the rest of us…even if you fucked up your leg because of it.”

I looked down at my bandaged knee, it wasn’t broken thankfully but still hurt like hell. I didn’t hate Pete, not anymore. He had put his life in danger just like the rest of us and he was actually _thanking_ me for doing the same? I felt as if maybe I had hated him for too long, or maybe that my judgement was clouded by jealousy all this time…

“It’s okay…I mean…” I murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry Frank, what’s important is Mikey right now. God knows where the others are but let’s just hope we can stay here for a while…maybe figure a plan out.”

I was about to reply when the chief medic came over, peeling off surgical gloves stained with blood, and beckoned us to come closer.

“So he’s stable, he’s lost blood from the wound to his left side, thankfully no organs were damaged but some of his muscle tissue was torn so he’ll be bedridden until it’s started to heal over.” He explained, gesturing to Mikey’s body. “But I’m confident he’ll make a full recovery physically.”

“Physically.” Pete repeated. “Is there something you’re not telling?”

The medic sighed. “His loss of consciousness concerns me but we don’t have the equipment to do scans or anything. We’ll have to wait and see what happens.”

I didn’t want to think about the ‘what if’s again, I had done that too often for my own good. Slowly, I made my way to his side again, taking his hand in mine and squeezing slightly. My fingers brushed over the brown locks of hair that fell in front of his face, he woke slowly, blinking in the harsh light.

“Hey.” I said quietly.

“F-Frankie…” he murmured, blinking rapidly. “Where…where are we?”

“The base I told you about.” I replied. “After the horde…” I nearly couldn’t say what had happened in those hours of agony for all of us. “You kept drifting in and out of consciousness…so we drove you here, Gee had to practically beg them to let us in.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah…they’ve gone to find whoever’s in charge and see what’s going on…Pete and I stayed here though.”

Pete took that as his cue to approach, he gently squeezed Mikey’s shoulder and nodded. “This crazy motherfucker nearly got himself killed twice protecting you.” He stated, gesturing to me.

“You what?” Mikey gawked at me despite the obvious pain he was in. “Frankie…”

“He went mental at that thing, it was like he was possessed--”

Mikey grabbed my wrist and tugged me closer to him. “Why would you me so reckless?” he asked. “God dammit Frank....”

I didn’t say anything, I just leaned over and pressed my lips to his softly; cutting off any more lectures about recklessness from him. His hands stroked my face, I was aware that Pete was probably feeling left out but at the same time I didn’t care. There was an urgency inside me to wrap my arms around Mikey and never let him go, I didn’t want to lose him not even for a minute. He grew bolder in his actions; parting my lips slightly and his tongue darting in briefly. Pete coughed loudly and muttered something so we parted lips but remained face-to-face, I really didn’t want to move.

“Gerard’s on his way.” Pete uttered as if it was a cue to detach myself from my lover.

“Yeah…okay.” I replied, pressing a gentle peck to Mikey’s forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too Frank.” he replied.

Within a few moments of me backing off, the others were there. Gerard flew to Mikey’s side instantly and burst into tears; something I thought I had seen the last of in the truck. It made me feel like emotional wreck all over again.

“God…I was so fucking worried about you.” Gerard whimpered into the bed sheets where he had collapsed to his knees. “I literally had to beg them to let us in…”

“Gee…” Mikey murmured, stroking his brother’s head comfortingly. “I’ll be okay.”

“I love you so much Mikey…” Gerard continued, on the verge of sobbing again. “You’re…you’re all I have left of our family…and I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

I felt a pang in my chest. The love that everyone seemed to feel for Mikey was beautiful in an odd way. Even though we didn’t always show it…there was a lot of love here for each other. Ray and Bob stood at the end of the bed, Ray was teary eyed too but was doing well to not burst into tears, Bob was wearing a sympathetic smile. As for Patrick and Pete, they had retreated slightly, simply watching Gerard sob into the blankets as Mikey tried to comfort him.

Bryce was stood in the doorway watching the entire exchange, it was hard to read her expression but I hoped she’d understand, surely she had lost people too? Either way Gerard stopped crying and told us about the person in charge of the base and how they had just finished telling her about our chaotic experience.

“So what do we do now?” I asked, getting straight to the point. “Are we allowed to stay here or what?”

“Well we hadn’t gotten to that part…” Ray confessed. “Gerard set off down here to see Mikey.”

Bryce coughed from the doorway, seeming to remind the others of something as Gerard got to his feet and declared that this Jenna girl wanted to talk to them more about our plans. He asked Pete and I if we wanted in on the conversation, Pete nodded after shooting Patrick a glance but I declined; I didn’t want to be away from Mikey for even a second, they left us with one of the guards outside the door. It was a little more private than before at least.

“Do you want to stay here?” Mikey asked me after a few moments.

“I wouldn’t mind it, we’d probably be soldiers to this Jenna person but at least we’d be safer…”

“Would it be so bad to be soldiers? I mean…she has a goal surely…” he murmured, turning over in the bed to face me. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice how Gee doesn’t _really_ have a plan?”

I exhaled heavily. “At least I know Gee wouldn’t put us through things we weren’t capable of, god knows what they’re gonna ask of us here.”

Mikey didn’t say anything for a while, I paced the room as he fell asleep, I didn’t want to leave him alone but I also wanted to be part of these negotiations before I was signed up to some war effort. My leg was beginning to flare in pain after pacing for so long so I sat down and stared at the grey bandages. I thought about the past day of chaos; the near-death experiences that we’d been through and how there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel…or rather a checkpoint considering there seemed to be no way of stopping the spread of the curse or whatever it was.

I also thought back to the last day of school before the summer vacation. Mikey and I had taken the long way home on our bikes as it was a warm day, there wasn’t anything particularly special about the thought but it bought me some comfort and a small wisp of hope that things could return to that one day. There wasn’t much to do other than wait for the others to return, I could sleep, god knew what time it was as there weren’t any windows to let in natural light. The adrenaline from getting Mikey to safety was wearing off quickly so I slouched down in the chair next to the bed and closed my eyes.

Ray was stood next to Mikey’s bed when I awoke, after concluding that there was no emergency to tend to I raised a hand in greeting. Apparently he came alone. Mikey was still asleep and the lack of a clock meant I had no idea how long I had slept, nevertheless I felt a little more refreshed despite my leg throbbing dully.

“Where are the others?” I yawned, running a hand through my dishevelled hair.

“Being shown the ropes by Jenna’s guards.” Ray replied lowly so not to wake the younger Way.

“What?” I asked.

“They’ve all agreed to help securing the base and fighting back against the zombies…so they’re being inducted right now.” He murmured, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at Mikey’s sleeping form.

I thought for a few moments, Ray’s tone and body language suggested he wasn’t impressed. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t want to be a pawn in their plans.” He uttered, casting a glance to the door before looking at me. “I mean I’m all for helping people and surviving but taking the fight to _them_ …it’s just all too much. We’ve had so many near-death experiences…lost so many…I don’t want to witness it anymore.”

Whilst I understood where Ray was coming from, and partially agreed with him, there was little else we could do. If the three of us turned them down then they’d surely turn us back out into the wilderness and I knew that Ray wouldn’t want that either.

“This fucking sucks.” I said, resting my hands on the back of my head. “Wait so all of them just turned around and said they’re joining up?”

Ray nodded, I couldn’t really believe that Gerard would make a decision like that without consulting Mikey…then again I very much doubted that Mikey would really want his brother joining up to face the war against the zombies. Maybe Gerard just wanted to avoid as much emotional conflict on the matter as possible but I didn’t buy that whole-heartedly either.

“How…were you all together when you decided?” I verbally prodded Ray, something about all of this wasn’t right.

“They let us have five minutes to discuss as a group before Jenna took us away individually to get our answers, I was the only one who said they needed more time to think it through it seemed. The others all said yes and they were immediately taken away.”

“Or that’s what she’s saying.” I mused. “Did you tell her about Helena?”

“Yeah…I broke down…why?”

It suddenly made sense in my mind. “…and I’m guessing the others showed little to no emotion about all of this chaos?”

Ray gave me a puzzled look. “Yeah…well Gee was obviously upset about Mikey but not completely broken…”

“She’s separated you from them…because she thinks you’re not emotionally stable.” I stated in a hushed tone in case the guard outside had bat-like hearing. “The others may not have said yes but she sees potential in them and has effectively kidnapped them and is forcing them to join up…heck she’s probably using Mikey as a hostage to keep Gerard and Pete in line.”

Ray’s eyes widened, I’ll admit that my conspiracy thinking sometimes didn’t make sense but this was _way_ too fishy to not be some fabricated scheme. We stood in silence for a while, processing what this could mean for us if we didn’t conform to their ideas; would they throw us out? Would they force us to be their serving staff? What would happen to Mikey? Would they eventually ask me if I wanted to join? All these questions and none of them would be answered right away.

We sat for a while in silence, it would take a while for Mikey to be fit enough to fight or even be remotely useful with manual labour. It wouldn’t take nearly as long for me to be well enough and as for Ray, his were more emotional injuries than physical. Regardless; at some point we’d be confronted by Jenna and we’d have to have an answer.

**~*~**

Time passed, we were given a watery stew by a guard but not told anything about the others. I was beginning to get more and more annoyed by the lack of information and it was showing. Ray had commented many times on how I shouldn’t pace the room so viciously but there was little else to do, Mikey woke up every few hours but was too weak to even try moving from the bed.

“Are we even going to get shown to a sleeping room?” I uttered at the brick walls. The light bulb dangling from the ceiling flickered occasionally but no response came, we had tried to leave but the door was locked and the guard on the other side told us that Jenna or Bryce had to authorise anyone leaving. To which I kicked the door violently but it didn’t budge, instead my leg flared in pain.

“Frank…take it easy.” Ray calmly spoke as he sat me down on the bed next to Mikey. “Kicking off isn’t going to help.”

I nodded, wrapping an arm around Mikey as he snuggled closer to me. “But still…how come we haven’t heard from the others? Why are they keeping secrets from us?”

“I don’t know…” Ray’s voice trailed off as he rubbed his eyes. “I wish I did…I wish they were here…I wish Gerard had demanded to talk with you before meeting her.”

No amount of wishing would change our plight and that made me sick to my stomach, despite the hatred I once had for Pete I would’ve killed any number of mutants just to talk to him and find out what the hell is happening.

“You reckon they’re gonna kill us?” Mikey whispered.

I stared at him, Ray sighed heavily, neither of us said anything. We didn’t want to think about that prospect…that we’d be so disposable to them.

“No. They wouldn’t.” Ray quickly replied. “Gerard would revolt.”

“If he could.” I uttered.

“…god…why did we fight that horde…” Mikey breathed as he closed his eyes. “Why did I get myself injured…”

“Hey don’t do this.” I said. “Don’t you _dare_ do this Mikey.”

“It’s all my fucking fault Frank.”

I glanced to Ray for help but received little more than an uneasy shrug. “No…no no no…” I babbled. “Mikey listen to me, no-one could’ve prevented that mutant showing up and hurting you.”

“But--”

“No Mikey. It’s not your fault.”

He fell silent, I stroked his cheek slowly until he fell asleep. Ray slouched in the chair and eventually drifted to sleep too, I resisted the urge; too highly strung to think about letting my guard down now. I wandered what the others were doing, whether they were being held against their will or not, wondering if they were worried about us. We had spent so much time in close quarters that it felt strange being apart from them. As I delved deeper into my thoughts I felt like a weight had been dropped on my chest; my hands shook as I brought them to cover my eyes. I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore, my lungs suck in air but it just wasn’t enough as I sobbed silently into my hands – desperately trying not to wake the others. I couldn’t go on like this, something had to change, we had to regain control of our lives somehow. There _had_ to be a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the last 48 hours have left me near suicidal - the last few paragraphs being a very accurate representation of my mental state.  
> But don't worry about me, I'm okay and I'll finish this fic...even if it's the only thing keeping me sane right now.  
> In short: I'll be fine, thank-you so much for your support though.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to lack of other things to do (I've played Skyrim for nearly 3 days straight this week and I'm losing my grip on reality) I sat down and sorted out and ending from the multiple possibilities...so now that I actually know where this is going expect updates to be a bit quicker!

**Twenty-seven**

**Gerard**

I knew this was too good to be true, I fucking knew it. I also knew that I should’ve been suspicious when they didn’t want to talk to Frank about our options. My vision was blurred and my hands were tied together with rope but I remember Ray leaving our company and then something hitting the back of my head. I was in what seemed to be a cell but without the ability to move I couldn’t look around, not that I’d be able to see much anyway.

“Patrick?” I called weakly. “Bob? Pete?”

“Fucking hell.” Bob’s low growl came from a little way away.

“Bob?” I called again.

“Gerard…what happened?”

“We got fucking…” I panted, my chest hurt. “We got set up.”

Footsteps approached me, I forced my aching body to roll over to face the sound, my vision was clearing enough for me to see the iron cell door in front of me. The person stopped in front of me expectantly.

“Gerard.” They stated in a low voice that could’ve been male or female for all I knew.

“Who the hell are you?”

“You don’t need to know.” They replied, I assumed that it was a guy addressing me. “You just need to follow orders like a good dog of the military.”

I bit down on my lip, I wanted to tell this dude to fuck off but that wasn’t going to make the situation better. The door opened and I was lifted to my feet, the room span but I was urged to walk out of the cell. They shoved me down a hallway until I reached a larger room that stank of blood, by this point my vision had cleared so I took in the horrific sight in front of me.

Bodies, some reasonably intact but most were disfigured and mutilated beyond anything I had seen. A small whimper escaped my throat as I was held there. Blood covered the stone walls and the floor, organs and bones were scattered everywhere, it looked like a tornado had dumped its load of debris inside this one room…only its debris was purely human.

“This is what we refer to as the elimination room.” He growled from behind me, I hadn’t seen his face yet but I would’ve given anything to not be staring at this hell pit. “And this is where you and your brother will end up if you don’t comply.”

“…you’re _fucking_ _mad_.” I said, voice cracking. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

“Shut it.” He snapped, throwing me into a pool of blood. The taste of iron assaulted my lips, his footsteps faded and the sound of the door closing set my nerves on edge. I got myself to a kneeling position and looked around; there was another door on the other side of the room but that would require me walking over the corpses of those who came before me.

I tried to break free of the rope but it just dug into my wrists even more. With little options available I made myself stand up on shaky legs and began to stumble towards the door. I tripped over limps and ribcages more times than I cared to count, I was covered in blood and whatever else was pooling at my feet. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of Frank and Mikey being left alone, I had to find them before they too ended up here. Just as I reached the door a voice interrupted my thoughts;

“Well done. You passed the test.”

“Test?” I questioned. The door opened and a guy not much older than me stood there, jeans and shirt blood-stained, hands on his hips.

“Yeah. The test.” He seemed too happy for this scenario. “You’ve earned your freedom.”

This guy had obviously spent far too much time around the dead bodies and was talking in riddles…or something equally as cryptic. He untied my hands and helped me through the door before closing it behind him. I followed him up the stone steps to a large room that resembled an army barracks. Pete was there; not covered in blood but he certainly looked like he had been through hell.

“One of these guys will sort you out.” The cheery man told me before disappearing back down the stone steps.

I immediately made my way to Pete and touched his shoulder. He looked up at me and wrinkled his nose. “You stink.”

“Well done.” I uttered, feeling the eyes of the other people in the room on me. “What do I do about it?”

He beckoned me to follow him into a joining room, the showers were working – albeit the water was stone cold but it was better than nothing. Pete leaned against the doorway as I washed the blood off myself and attempted to rid my clothes of the stains.

“So what’s happening?” I asked quietly.

“We were knocked out, dragged to the cells, put through some weird mental test and now we’re here.” He rattled off, his voice was lacking any emotion. “You seen the others?”

“I heard Bob waking up…no sound or sight of Patrick though.” I replied, wringing out my shirt. “Fuck it, are there any spare clothes?”

Pete stepped out of the doorway for a moment before coming back with a typical cadet uniform. “It’s like they’re forcing us to do this.”

“They are.”

“…what of Ray then? He left before this all happened…”

I shrugged. “Hopefully he’s with Frank and Mikey…”

We went back into the barracks and sat on one of the beds, the other people in the room seemed to be around our age, I wondered if they had gone through hell like we had. Pete and I sat in silence, neither of us wanting to try and talk. There wasn’t anything to do it seemed until we were ordered to.

“…any ideas?” Pete asked after a long period of silence.

“Nope…they took our weapons and we don’t know where we are…if we step out of line then god knows what’s gonna happen to the others. We know Mikey and Frank are pretty much defenceless, Patrick and Ray are MIA and god knows where Bob has ended up.”

“Well this is fucked up.” Pete uttered, casting a wary glance to the other people in the room. “You think they’re gonna make us go on supply trips or something?”

I shrugged, not wanting to think too much into it. I silently hoped that Bryce or Will would be the ones to order us around; at least we would know them and somewhat be able to trust them. I leaned back on the bed we were sat on, staring at the tiled ceiling to pass the time, Pete just sat there staring at the wall, I could sense that the other people were just as confused and scared as we were although none of them had spoken to us yet.

Patrick eventually emerged from the door, he looked petrified. Pete immediately met him and took him to the shower room, I remained on the bed which was when the commanding ‘officer’ walked in. He was a much older man than most of the soldiers I had seen, blond hair fading with age and lines on his face from his years of living. I reckoned he was an actual member of the armed forces given his uniform’s badges, even with my limited knowledge of the military lifestyle I figured that the stripes were significant.

“Alright you lot. I’m Lieutenant Bright and I’m in charge of inducting you into the Captain’s service.” He barked, he didn’t seem that intimidating but the for the sake of keeping on everyone’s good side I rolled off the bed and stood in line with the others.

“Sir what are we doing?” One guy asked as the Lieutenant as we stood there.

“Just what I said cadet, I’m inducting you into Captain Ashton’s service.”

“Who, Jenna?”

The Lieutenant rolled his eyes and nodded, Pete and Patrick emerged from the showers and stood next to me, confused but silent. We were told that we’d be trained in basic combat and search and rescue so we would eventually join the scouting parties and maybe one day take back some minor towns and roads. It seemed simple enough and actually useful to our survival.

“So why the fuck did we have to walk through the pit of death?” Pete asked.

Bright glared at Pete for speaking out of term before slowly walking over; faded uniform crinkling slightly as he folded his arms across his chest. “What’s your name boy?”

“Pete Wentz, and I’m not a _boy,_ I’m seventeen.” He replied.

“Well Wentz, we had to test your mental stability, we can’t just send you out there and trust you to not get everyone else killed. The bodies in there are that of those who died within walking distance of the base; most of them in horde situations, whatever the dude downstairs told you; just ignore it. He’s an asshole.”

I inhaled deeply. This wasn’t so bad, it didn’t seem as strict as the military used to be. Bright turned to me and asked for my name.

“Gerard Way.” I stated, not giving him any reason to yell at me.

“Your brother is down in the infirmary right?”

“…Yeah. Mikey. Will he have to fight?” I asked.

Bright thought for a moment. “Depends, has he fought before?”

Pete interrupted the conversation. “Yeah he has, Frank is a more ferocious fighter though.”

I rolled my eyes like the Lieutenant did. He then asked who Frank was and we had to hurriedly explain that Frank had gotten injured and saw himself as Mikey’s protector after what happened last time. The Lieutenant didn’t seem phased by it and just moved on down the line. So far we had managed to keep a lid on Mikey and Frank’s relationship but I didn’t know how much longer we could hide it, or how everyone would react.

Once the Lieutenant had gathered everyone’s names and a loose idea of what fighting experience they had we were led outside. For so say ‘cadets’ we weren’t really being _ordered_ around, more supervised as we were led out of the make-shift barracks into a fenced off area, it reminded me of a gladiator cage with all the targets and weapons set out for us. Through the chain-linked fence I could see the other hangers that we hadn’t been shown yet and a few supply trucks being unloaded.

“Where are all the supplies coming from?” I asked no-one in particular.

“Some of the towns that weren’t immediately ransacked by the outbreak.” Bright replied. “We send teams out made up of soldiers and civilian aides to collect resources.”

I nodded, my gaze lingering on the truck being unloaded by fellow survivors, if Mikey and Frank could stay here and not have to fight then I’d almost be willing to be sent out on salvage trips just to spare them the horror. We were told to practice our firing stances with unloaded handguns, just so the Lieutenant could further grasp what we were capable of, Pete and I were confident about it all but Patrick was still visibly uneasy from his ordeal earlier.

“Impressive.” Bright murmured as he worked his way down the line. I hadn’t been scrutinised on my stance since I was fourteen and went to the gun range with my dad, I was almost expecting to get sighed at for being sloppy. At least I wasn’t shaking like Patrick.

“Could use some improvement but you’re okay.” He said to Pete before moving onto me. I bit my lip as I forced myself to stay still and not show my nerves.

He didn’t say anything for a few moments which worried  me but he simply nodded and fixed his gaze on Patrick’s shaking arms. The momentary relief was shattered when he knocked the gun out of Patrick’s hands, everyone stared as the Lieutenant as he silently looked Patrick up and down.

“You’re not used to these guns are you?” he asked eventually.

“No sir…I’m more of a sniper…” Patrick murmured.

“Uh-huh…well I’m sure we can find something for you to do.”

Just like that, everything was okay again. There were a lot of mixed signals being sent here; on one hand we were petrified to step out of line in case they killed us but then they seemed really relaxed about everything at the same time…

We exchanged glances before being given a more detailed description of what was expected of us now. I was tempted to ask about seeing Mikey but thought better of it; play into their hands until we could be sure of their intentions. I hadn’t forgotten that we hadn’t seen Bob yet and that Ray was god knows where, until I had a better idea of what was really going on here I didn’t want to risk our lives…

**~*~**

For all the training we were being given, a lot of it we already knew. The other cadets seemed a lot more fearful and it was showing in their efforts, Pete and I looked on from our repaired truck; the latest task for us to prove ourselves in. Patrick was in the barracks having gotten engine oil over him during the ordeal so we decided to watch the others get talked down to.

“You reckon they’ll make us soldiers quicker if it continues like this?” Pete asked, the air was cooler today than it had been for a while. The days had passed by like it was nothing, I was concerned about the lack of news about Mikey but I tried to put it out of my mind as no news is good news.

“Possibly. I wouldn’t say it’s not an option they’d consider. Depends on how many soldiers have died.”

“God this is so depressing. It’s like we’re in a war…not an apocalypse.” He uttered, lifting himself to sit on the hood.

“Well…a war on zombies.”

“Pft. It’s a massacre not a war.”

“And that’s meant to make a difference? How many wars did we get taught about which in reality were just massacres?” I pointed out, thinking back to our high school history lessons and the never ending news coverage of bombs being dropped on innocent people in the name of peace.

“God now you’re being even _more_ depressing.” Pete chuckled. “You have a point though.”

The Lieutenant was now yelling at a group of cadets that nearly made their engine explode. I felt bad for them as they didn’t seem much older than Helena but as Pete had helpfully pointed out; it was a massacre out there, not a war. The margin for error was small as we had witnessed and felt the wrath of many times. Once the cadets were left shaking the Lieutenant made his way over to us and dismissed us, instructing us to fetch Patrick and wait to be collected by someone. Apparently we were ready for whatever crazy chapter awaited us.

When the door opened to us and we saw Bob, I couldn’t stop the smile breaking out on my face. We hugged for a few moments before he told us that we needed to get going. I asked where he had been and it seemed that he had been fast-tracked into the scouting parties ahead of us, likewise he hadn’t heard anything from the others since that last visit to the infirmary.

“So where are we headed now?” Pete asked, wrapping an arm around Patrick’s shoulders as we travelled from one hanger towards another.

“The more ‘official’ barracks.” Bob replied. “A guy called Will is in charge and he’s pretty cool.”

“The same Will we met when we arrived?” I asked.

“Yeah. It’s actually really relaxed here, it’s not even like the military. We’re more like friends just looking out for each other.”

The grey hanger doors were open; a duel rotor helicopter sat in the space, it didn’t seem like it had been used in a while yet there were mechanics servicing it. Bob led us past it and into a network of corridors. I felt more at ease here, almost like we were already more equal and more respected for what we had been through. We ended up in a cafeteria, groups of men and women sat eating whatever stew was on the menu, all chatting excitedly and seemingly content.

Once we got some food and sat down Bob briefed us on what exactly we’d be doing; it was mainly preparing the trucks for scouting and supply trips, we wouldn’t be going on one yet but we would be expected to do anything and everything to keep the peace whilst they were away.

“I don’t like it.” Patrick said.

“Why?” Pete asked, weary of his friend’s response.

“Why are they so eager to push us up? Surely they have enough soldiers to keep everything going smoothly. What are they not telling us?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. So I wasn’t the only one thinking this was too quick a change.

“Come on Pat…they’re just trying to get a stable system before winter sets in.” Pete tried to reason with him.

“It’s been five months since this started. They’ve had plenty of time to do that.”

I glanced at Bob, there was no way he didn’t think the same way. It was only a few days ago that he had been lying in a cell across from me and now suddenly we’re being inducted into the workforce. All without a word from the infirmary.

“I’m gonna go and see Mikey.” I declared, standing up. The entire cafeteria had gone quiet, as if they had been listening for this moment. Will stood in the doorway with arms folded and an unreadable expression on his face.

“That’s not gonna happen Gerard.” He said. “Mainly because he’s not where you left him.”

I was confused. What did he know? Where was Mikey? There was no way Frank would simply let him get taken…unless they took care of Frank first.

“Don’t panic.” Will’s face relaxed. “I meant he recovered enough to move into our civilian hanger, your two other friends too.”

“Civilian?” Pete asked before I could.

“Yeah.” Will walked over to our table and put a hand on my shoulder. “We saved as many civilians as we could from the surrounding towns…set aside a hanger and they set up a little community. Your friends and brother have been moved there since they’re now well enough.”

“And…we weren’t given this option why?” Pete continued, I didn’t know what to say.

“You guys have vital experience dealing with those things out there. We need all the help we can get.”

I snorted. As Pete had pointed out before; Frank had just as much experience so why didn’t they pull him out once he had healed? I wasn’t that concerned, at least Mikey had someone with him and by the sounds of things Ray was with them too.

“I still want to see my brother before we do anything else. Last time I saw him he was nearly unconscious.” I declared. “I’ll come back, heck you can even take me there under armed guard, I just want to see him and make sure you’re not lying to us.”

Will gave me a long hard look, studying my body language and trying to read my intentions, I stared right back at him. Bob coughed loudly and muttered something to him, Will nodded and called for another guard to escort me to this other hanger. I was to have fifteen minutes with the others, telling them what was going on and ensuring their cooperation with Jenna’s system before being bought back here to continue training.

Fifteen minutes. Just fifteen minutes to tell them to trust these people with our lives and not to worry. A few precious minutes before I get dragged back into the bowels of the base for god knows how long. As I was led out into the autumn sunlight I thought about which words to use; how to keep Frank calm and rational about it all, how to reassure Mikey that this was really all for the best, how to even look Ray in the eye knowing he had refused to partake in this fuckery. The words weren’t quite coming to mind as I hoped they would.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are many things I could say.  
> I'll just be blunt; the end is near but I've already started planning another mcr fic.  
> Also life sucks and I want to murder some people so on that note...here's another update!

**Twenty-eight**

**Frank**

When they said that Mikey was well enough to be realised from the infirmary I feared this was it, the moment they’d turn us out without a second thought. I had never been so happy to be wrong. Instead we were taken to a very different place to what we were expecting.

“This is the civilian residence.” Bryce told us, she had personally escorted us here assuring us that there was nothing to fear now. “When Jenna first took over the base she threw open the doors for all survivors for one day before shutting the gates for good. These are the lucky ones who got in and have stayed alive so far.” She explained, walking us through the maze of makeshift tents and wooden shacks.

It was a slum in all honesty but it was set up inside one of the hangers so the separate areas were more for privacy than protection, and at least it was more homey than other places we had crashed. I was still limping slightly due to my leg injury but I was determined not to show it, most of the civilians were women and children; anyone not able to fight it seemed. Mikey was certainly better than he had been and Ray hardly had to keep him steady anymore.

“You’ve been given this tent, it should be fine for the three of you.” Bryce stopped in front of what had been your standard family tent from a camping store had the back of it not been torn away to extend the space inside. Wooden poles stabilised the extra layers of roofing and the interior was made up to be one giant bedding area.

“We honestly can’t thank you enough.” Ray said on our behalf, Mikey gingerly sat down on the pale orange safety blanket. “Is there anything else we should know?”

Food would be served to us, the able bodied civilians tended to help out with cooking for the soldiers, maintaining the base, tending to the few farm animals that were saved and persuading the crops to grow. When winter hits we would have to collect firewood and keep the base running when the soldiers ventured further afield for supplies. There were no real ‘rules’ other than being respectful to others and obeying the commanding officer which was a woman named Lucia.

“Other than that you’re free to do what you wish. I recommend getting to know your neighbours and seeing if you can lend a hand once in a while.” Bryce finalised for us. “I gotta get back to Jenna, we’re planning another supply mission for a few days’ time.”

We gave a half-hearted wave as she left us there. Ray decided to take her up on her suggestion to talk to the others here, I closed up the tent once he had walked away; giving Mikey and I some much needed privacy.

“So…this isn’t too bad.” I murmured as I stroked his cheek in the dimmed light that the tent material let in.

“At least we’re safe.” He replied, beckoning me closer. I slowly kissed him, hands cupping his face and bumping our foreheads together. I coaxed him to lean over me, tangling my fingers in his straggly mouse brown hair and feeling the light stubble on his cheeks as his lips moved to my neck.

“Do you think they’d hear us if we…” I whispered. He laughed and ran a hand through my hair.

“I think they would…knowing how vocal you are.”

My cheeks heated up, we had narrowly gotten away with a more lustful moment between ourselves a few days ago. We had discovered that I got more vocal the lower Mikey went down my chest. As much as we would want to continue where we left off, it was far more relaxing to just lie there wrapped up on each other. The tent was warm and the blankets were a nice change to the wooden and stone floors that we had frequented.

“I could get used to this place.” Mikey murmured. “I mean…not that I don’t want to have a proper home again. It’s just that things seem to be getting better.”

“I get you…it’s like we finally don’t have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night to kill those sons of bitches.” I mused, stroking his hair as he rested his head on my chest. “If only the others were here with us…”

There was still no word from any of them, we hadn’t said anything to Bryce for fear that it was a taboo subject. We fell asleep quickly in the closed quarters, Ray woke us up when he opened the tent and let in the blinding interior lights of the hanger. A light breeze whipped through the gaps in the tents, apparently the doors were left open slightly so that there was always a source of light and fresh air.

Ray had met a few of our neighbours, the ones that weren’t busy with their duties anyway, most of them were in a similar state to us; survivors who were too injured or unwilling to fight on the frontline. Some were in a worst state, refusing to talk about what they had seen despite Ray’s kind words and reassurances, most were guarded against us which was natural. We were the outsiders after all.

“So what are we gonna be assigned to?” I asked as Ray sat in the opening of the tent. “Storage? Guard duty? Maintenance?”

“From what I’ve heard, we do get to pick what we get assigned to…to a certain degree anyway.” Ray reported. “They try to get us to do things that we’re suitable for. So for example I’ll probably end up in the supply warehouse because they seem to think I’m organised.”

“Well you kind of _are_ organised.” Mikey remarked, curling into my hold. “And Frank’s gonna end up in the guards probably with his track record.”

I raised an eyebrow, I was never really one to follow orders but then again if it meant I could protect Mikey and remain somewhat safe then I wouldn’t pass it up. “I mean…there’s a thing called playing to your strengths.” I sighed, squeezing him slightly. “I reckon you’d be good at helping out around here; keeping everyone happy.”

Mikey rolled his eyes which got a laugh out of Ray. We sat there enjoying the rare moment of relaxation until one of the people Ray had spoken to told us it was time to get food. I expected a prison style meal in a grimy cafeteria, I wasn’t far off; sure it was a school style lunch hall but the food was actually pretty good. It felt a lot better to be eating properly prepared food rather than skinned rabbit and boiled fish.

“So we heading back to the tent?” Mikey yawned once we had finished.

“Not quite.” A voice from behind us said, spooking all of us.

I whipped around and saw a tall woman stood there, red hair tied back in a bun and dressed as if she was about to go on a stealth mission; black tank top and dark green combat pants. She flashed a small smile before stepping back.

“Sorry, I startled you.” She apologised when she saw my arm raised defensively around Mikey. “I’m Lucia. I’m in charge of the civilian hanger.”

“Right…” I murmured.

“There’s been a request to see you, from a Gerard Way?”

My arm fell immediately from around Mikey, Ray and I exchanged glances as the words hung in the air.

“Yeah…he’s my brother…” Mikey replied, the guarded tone was a very noticeable change from the relaxed vibe he had been giving off.  “Has something happened?”

Lucia shook her head. “It’s best if he explains, he’s being escorted here now if you want a more private place to chat?”

We all stood up at once, Lucia took us to a storeroom near the kitchen and we waited. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence a single knock spurred us from our thoughts. Gerard walked in, a little rough around the edges but he seemed fine, Mikey launched himself into his brother’s arms as the armed guard nodded at Lucia and we were finally left alone.

“So what’s the deal? Are you guys okay? They haven’t done anything to you right?” Gerard babbled to the younger Way.

“We’re fine Gee, where the hell have you been? Are the others with you?” Mikey rambled back.

Gerard explained everything that had happened to him and the others and the plans to draft them into the scouting parties eventually and ultimately to keep on everyone’s good side. I wasn’t convinced that they were telling us everything, it was all a little bit too convenient.

“So I demanded to come and check that they weren’t lying to me about you guys.” Gerard finalised. “I don’t know how long it’ll be before any of us can see you…if we get pulled into a mission then it could be days or even weeks.”

Mikey seemed torn. I shrugged, not wanting to point out the possibility that he could very well die out there, Ray was very quiet for a few moments.

“So they’re dividing us…because you’re better fighters than us?” Ray uttered.

Gerard gave Ray a long look, I glanced back and forth between them before sighing loudly. “It certainly seems like it.”

“No. That’s not what they’re doing--” Gerard argued.

“Well it fucking looks like it!” I exploded. “They caused us to worry ourselves half to fucking death cause they wouldn’t tell us what had happened to you.”

Gerard looked like I had slapped him. “Frank, I know you’re pissed but we really couldn’t do anything…we were taken by force and they…” he bit his lip and looked away from me. “Frank just _please_ be reasonable.”

“Okay, so suppose this is all legit.” I stated, resting my hands on the back of my head as I paced the cramped space. “You and the others go out on supply missions and shit…what do we do? We just sit here and accept that we have no contact with you until these assholes decide it’s appropriate? How is any of that fair on us?”

“Frank--”

“No. We’ve all been through the same shit. We watched the death and destruction ourselves, we buried Helena and I know it’s been a shit time but we made it through all of it _together_. Tell me how we’re supposed to just accept that we’re now not fucking _good enough_ for Jenna’s precious fucking army?!” I gestured to the door before balling my hands into fists.

“So you _want_ to be forced out there again?!” Gerard suddenly shouted, rising to his feet. “You want to be dragged through the hell that we went through just to prove that we’re mentally able? You want to go back out into that fucked up world and put your ass on the line? What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that nothing I ever do is gonna be good enough for anyone, even if I killed 50 of those fucking mutants I’ll never be _fucking_ good enough to be taken seriously!”

A moment of silence fell before Mikey reached for my hands. “Frank…Frankie…”

Lucia and the armed guard came back into the room and Gerard was taken away after hugging Mikey one last time. I decided I needed some air before forcing myself back into the tent, I went alone.

Dusk had set in quickly, the sun was setting as I sat on the gravel outside the hanger. I was so frustrated at all of this that I ignored Mikey’s calls when I left the storeroom without a word. All of the talk about how I saved Mikey’s life, how I nearly died god knows how many times just to keep him alive meant nothing to anyone other than the two of us it seemed. It felt like highschool all over again, my accomplishments meant nothing to everyone else. A few of the guards had stopped and asked me why I was sat there, I shrugged and said nothing. One of them laughed and made a comment about the lost little emo kid, referring to my grown out fringe covering my eyes. I clenched my fists as they stalked away, that’s all I was anymore; the lost kid.

“You’re Frank right?” a female voice asked. I looked up, a tall woman with blonde hair scraped into a bun was stood looking at me.

“Depends who’s talking. Some of those assholes called me a ‘lost emo kid’.” I replied darkly, watching her reaction carefully.

“Pay no attention to them.” She told me, adjusting her shirt sleeves that were rolled up past her elbows. “I’ll send them out on a supply trip soon.”

“Will you now.” I snorted.

“Unless you have a better idea?”

I shrugged. “Make them go face a mutant. Make them watch their best friend nearly die in its grasp. Then if they kill it and save his life, make them sit by his side for days on end wishing that it had been them instead of him.” I spun off, clenching my fists as the flashbacks started.

“Make them worry because they don’t know what happened to their other friends but they have to pretend that everything is _fucking fine_ because their best friend is led there having just nearly died.” My heart was racing, the blonde woman had crouched down to my level and was listening intently.

“When their best friend…boyfriend…when he wakes up, make them tell him that they don’t know where his brother is, that he’s been missing since they arrived in the middle of the night. And that when the brother finally comes back he tells them that he’s been inducted into some fucking army without even _considering_ what it means for the rest of them.” I was borderline hysterical, my lungs were on fire but I fought the words out.

“Make them feel like everything they fucking did to keep everyone else alive was meaningless…that no-one gives a rats ass about how many times they nearly died…that they will never be good enough…” I broke down, drawing my knees against my chest and wailing into them.

She gently put a hand on my shoulder, I shrugged her off. “Who…who do you blame for all this?”

“Whoever’s in charge here.” I choked out. “They tore our group apart…forced the others away.”

“Frank…come inside, it’s getting dark and the cold will be setting in.” she murmured, glancing behind her. “I know some of the higher ups, maybe I can put in a word for you and your friends.”

I considered her carefully, she seemed genuine, a little bit too clean and perfect for another solider. No, she had to be one of the leaders. I hesitantly nodded and let her lead me into the admin hanger. I wondered where she was taking me when we climbed up the stairs to the control room.

“Captain Ashton on the bridge!” declared a soldier. I shot a confused look to the woman as she nodded towards the soldier.

“Leave us, we’re not to be disturbed.” She stated, ushering me into an office and closing the door behind her.

“Captain.” I repeated with venom. “You…you…” I was lost for words, pacing the room as she leaned against her desk in the middle of the office. “ _You’re_ the one who’s responsible for all of this…”

She nodded. “I know you’re upset.”

“Upset? _Upset_?” I repeated. “Oh I passed upset a long time ago.”

“It’s understandable Frankie.” She said, making no effort to hide her bored tone. “But we’re on the brink of dying out here and I have to have every able-bodied person on the front lines.”

“Don’t you dare call me Frankie.” I snarled. “Mikey’s the only one who can call me that.”

She exhaled heavily and nodded, gesturing for me to continue.

“So tell me, _Captain_ , why the fuck did you force them to fight for you?”

She waited a few seconds before standing up straight and pacing the room slightly, pausing at a map of the state that had several drawing pins stuck into it. I watched and waited with clenched fists, I wasn’t going to physically lash out, that would be suicide. Eventually she sighed.

“Do you know what’s caused this all to happen Frank?” she asked me.

“No.”

“Neither do I. No-one does. Fear is something that drives us to do the impossible but it also paralyses us. The fight or flight instinct can save us in a moment of panic but then it can kill us slowly when we’re lost to ourselves. When Helena died you all lost yourselves for a moment and your fear was allowed to set in and it still haunts you to this day.”

There was a split second where she was making sense, fear still clung to my dreams at night, the images, sights and sounds of death and destruction did haunt me still.

“Don’t…don’t talk about _her_.” I spat at the floor. “You don’t have the right to talk about her.”

“The tornado that nearly took your lives, the one that shook Mikey so hard that he confessed his feelings for you, it struck more fear into your already traumatised minds.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Gerard told me. Well he told me about the tornado and how you were both really shaken up about it and started depending on each other to stay sane. You just admitted that your best friend is your boyfriend and judging by how defensive you’re being; I made my own conclusion.”

I didn’t know what to make of her. She was a very intelligent woman it seemed, she also didn’t look that much older than Gerard but that was beside the point.

“So what do you want me to do Frank?” she asked, turning to me. “You said how you don’t feel good enough so let’s change that.”

“Why the fuck do you want to help me?”

She rolled her eyes ever-so-slightly and sighed again. “Because Frank, there is a very real possibility that this winter could be the end of us.”

Everyone knew that the winters were always harder, every video game, movie and book depicted winter as the fight to not starve or freeze to death. I nodded, not understanding where she was going with this.

“They’ll be drawn to us; a source of food and shelter from the cold eastern coast.” She explained. “Our food supplies will run low and we’ll have to venture further and further afield to get supplies. Those trips could take days or even weeks and it’s almost guaranteed that someone will die out there.”

“So you need idiots like me to put ourselves up for the slaughter?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking. My men can’t guard themselves and load the supply trucks at the same time so I need people whose sole job is to sniff out the stuff and load it whilst the guards protect you.”

She watched me for my reaction. I honestly didn’t know what to think of the proposal, Gerard’s words rang through my ears ‘ _what the fuck are you thinking?_ ’. What was I really thinking anymore? I wanted to keep Mikey safe, I wanted to prove myself, I wanted to stay sane, to feel like I was making a difference.

“I can’t guarantee your safety obviously but you’ll be on the same trip as Gerard and the others.” She continued.

“Let me think about it.” I said, fists unclenching for the first time since getting into this room. “Give me a day or two.”

She smiled slightly and approached me. “You have three days.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm officially done with lessons at college! Only 2 exams to do and then I'm completely done with my a-levels and that means one thing; I FINALLY GET FREE TIME.  
> well. until i get a job...but that should only be part time hopefully...so I still get time to write!  
> So yeah, still cut me some slack until the middle of June but then after that I have no decent excuse to not update semi-regularly!

**Twenty-Nine**

**Gerard**

It was weird, there was snow on the ground. California never got snow, even in the middle of December which was only a month away. Ray and Patrick had concluded that the sudden lack of air pollution had effected the weather to an extreme…either way we seemed to be the ones who were most experienced at dealing with the snow and ice which was proving interesting.

“Suppose we all freeze to death?” one of the guards asked as we opened the gates to the outside world.

“We’ll be fine.” Bob told them, we were by no means the leading officers but at this point only our words would keep everyone from panicking.

“Just make sure the horse doesn’t end up on a frozen river and you’ll be okay.” I added. The trucks were now reserved for emergencies only so Jenna had someone raid a horse ranch and collect as many of them that were still tamed and capable of being ridden. I heard there were plans to start our own ranch but there were a lot of different rumours spreading around the base these days. It was a well-known fact that our food supplies were running low and keeping a dozen horses were sure to further drain them, especially during this unseasonably cold winter.

Today we were heading south, hopefully finding less snow to deal with, searching for scrap metal to fortify the fencing around the base and any food that we could muster. A guard unit of twenty would accompany the supply team and protect them, a task that was getting harder to do as the zombies seemed to thrive in the cold environment for some strange reason.

“I’m beginning to think that they’re becoming immortal.” Pete sighed, walking beside my horse – one of the five that would be rotated around the group. “How many movies show zombies actually surviving the winter?”

I shrugged, I had forgotten most of the movies I had seen now, it was kind of depressing really that I probably wouldn’t see them again. “I remember that game showed they could do it.”

“Which one?”

“Uh…last of us? I dunno, it’s been a while.”

Pete yawned and held his spiked baseball bat in front of him for a moment. “Eh, whatever.”

I cast a glance behind us at the supply cart being drawn by a larger horse than the one I rode. I smiled and waved at my brother who waved back. Frank had taken up Jenna’s offer to join the supply team on the condition that Mikey and Ray would be accepted to. We had gone out on quite a few trips at this point and we had been lucky to not come across any hordes as bad as before.

The journey into the wilderness was slow, the horses of California weren’t used to the heavy snow and the cart kept getting caught in the hidden plants. I could keep a lookout on horseback whilst they released the wheels _again._ It had been quiet, only one or two mundane zombies had ventured close to us and there had been no signs of a mutant.

“See anything Gerard?” the Lieutenant called from his horse.

“Negative.” I called back. I shivered slightly but these temperatures were nothing compared to the New Jersey winters, we were some of the few people who could withstand not being wrapped up in more than three layers which made moving easier.

“Keep heading towards that mountain, if we find anything between here and there then we can call it a day.” He ordered, riding back to the rear of the convoy.

Once the cart was unstuck I gave the signal to continue south. A mountain was sat in the low hanging cloud, I had no knowledge of the area other than the few maps I had been shown by the Lieutenant so god knew what that monstrosity was called.

“Yo Gee.” Frank rode up beside me, I didn’t question why he was on horseback.

“Yes?” I replied, keeping my eyes ahead of me, I was practically in charge of spotting the danger before it struck us so I had to stay alert.

“Any idea what’s ahead of us?”

“Not a clue.” I remarked, letting a smile play on my lips. “Why are you up this far anyway?”

“I was wondering how much further we’d ride today.”

“I have orders to head towards the mountain. Hopefully we’ll find something soon, I know the horses don’t like the heavy snow.”

He smiled, I also knew Frank enjoyed being put to use, he felt he was at least trying to make a difference even if it was a simple task of scavenging. With a soft farewell he fell back to the middle of the convoy only to be replaced with Pete walking beside me.

“One of the scouts thinks there’s a small horde ahead.” He reported. “Ride out?”

“Get your ass up here then.” I sighed, reaching to help him up on the horse behind me.

I spurred the stallion forward, drawing my pistol as I scanned the snow. Most of it was undisturbed which put me at ease but I knew from experience that anything was possible these days. It was too quiet out here in the middle of nowhere, the sounds of the convoy behind us were faded in the cold air.

“See anything?” I asked Pete.

“No…”

I hummed, slowing the horse so I could take a closer look around us. The stallion seemed uneasy which was a giveaway that there was something amiss here. “Take the reins, I’ll have a poke around.” I ordered Pete.

My feet hit the snow with a muffled thud, I holstered my pistol and brought out the dagger that would be more useful if I did come across something unsavoury. The training for the guards unit had included tracking which went hand-in-hand with my limited hunting know-how. I knelt on the snow and scraped some of it away from the dirt underneath, dead plants greeted me, I felt a little disheartened but it was beside the point.

“Nothing’s been through here recently.” I concluded.

The horse was still acting up, I raised an eyebrow at Pete before the faint sound of muffled footsteps caught my attention. I spun around and noticed a shape moving, it wasn’t close enough to be spotted immediately.

“What’s that?” Pete asked, spotting it too.

“Keep the horse under control.” I ordered. “And get a flare ready, I may need backup.”

The shape paused momentarily before appearing to sprint towards us. I held my dagger tightly and called out.

“Who goes there?”

No response, it wasn’t a person then, it was certainly too big for that as it approached at a frightening speed. It seemed to be a mutant. I nodded to Pete to fire the flare that would alert the others to the danger and spur the other front riders to ride out and assist.

It came into view, a large male, recently transformed judging by the lack of festering wounds and the fact it was still fully clothed. Either way it had to be eradicated before it killed us. I launched myself at it, vaguely aware of the bright red smoke of the flare exploding in the air and the sound of galloping hooves on snow. It struck my shoulder as I dodged its grasp, twisting around to stab it in the back – knowing that alone wouldn’t kill it but at least it would buy me time.

Pete wrestled with the reins as the horse went crazy. I withdrew my blade and slashed the backs of its legs, preventing it from moving away. It put up a struggled once it was reduced to crawling on its stomach, the other riders arrived and made short work of it.

“Nice one Gee.” One of them said as she remounted her horse and turned to meet the convoy. “I knew there was a reason the Lieutenant trusted you.”

Pete smirked as they all rode back. “I think she likes you.” He remarked, helping me back onto the horse.

“Shut up.” I sighed.

He laughed as I spurred the horse to gallop back halfway, we’d wait for the convoy to get to us, this way we’d be able to keep watch and also catch our breath. Snow began falling, it was a very grey day and I anticipated that the next few weeks would be very much the same.

The convoy caught up and we pressed on through the flurries, the horses were getting used to the trekking now even if the foot guards weren’t. After another hour of journeying through the wilderness we spotted a collection of farm buildings, I rode out to them with one other rider ahead of the convoy so we could eliminate any risks. Three dead zombies later and the supply unit were picking their way through each building as we stood guard.

“You reckon they’ll find anything decent?” Bob asked me as we listened to Frank calling out his location.

“This was an undisturbed location, the infected we found were just sheltering in the porch way so it’s possible there’s some food.”

“Do you think we’re gonna survive the winter?” he pressed, spurring his horse to begin walking as the supply unit returned to the carts with their spoils.

“I expect so.” I replied, a flash of doubt ran through my mind but I ignored it. If they were grooming me to be a leading officer like everyone was believing then I had to appear mentally strong. “Jenna’s got it all sorted.”

“And you know that _how_?”

“Just trust me Bob, if she hasn’t then I’ll be the first to tell her.” I didn’t mention how I had no intention of trying to undermine her authority, especially as my presence had sent a few ripples amongst the higher ups.

The trip back to base was uneventful, everyone was cold and hungry so tending to the horses was done as quickly as possible. I had grown attached to my steed, he had no name yet but I was thinking of naming him Bert, Mikey appeared in the doorway to the makeshift stables with his arms folded.

“Why aren’t you at dinner?” I asked him.

“I want to talk to you about something.”

I raised an eyebrow and continued wiping down the horse’s back. “Continue.”

“Are they really gonna make you into their next lieutenant?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t had them ask me. Would it bother you?”

He glanced around the rest of the stalls before stepping closer. “I’m worried there will be a mutiny if you’re appointed before someone who’s been here longer.” He murmured, stroking Bert’s neck.

“Ah…” I replied. “I get you. Don’t worry about it Mikes, I doubt they’re gonna do anything like that unless there’s a good reason to.”

He was quiet for a few moments, his fingers picked at the threads of his shirt – the same one he was wearing when we left home, the Anthrax one. “I hope you’re right.”

“And even if they did…Jenna’s still in charge overall so ultimately she’d have a plan to deal with those unhappy with her decision.” I finished sorting out Bert’s reins and saddle and we began making our way out of the stables.

Dinner had long passed and now the evening tasks had begun; sorting out the stuff collected on the trip. Just as we entered the storerooms we were bombarded by raised voices, one of the guards in the other unit had knocked Frank as he was unloading boxes with supplies, apparently the two of them had met before as things had escalated quickly and the air was now thick with tension.

“—fucking freak.” The guard snarled, trying to brush Frank’s glare off as he made his way towards the door I had just walked through.

Mikey’s fists were clenched but I made the first move. “You got a problem?” I asked, blocking his exit.

He looked at me, trying to judge my intention. “Only that he’s a spoilt brat who thinks he’s entitled to be within the guards.”

I faked a laugh. “He’s not in the guards. He’s in the supply unit who are crucial to our survival.”

It seemed to make him doubt himself but he fought to hide it. “He’s fucking useless though.”

“And you aren’t?” I questioned, everyone was staring at the two of us, astounded that I would reply in this manner. “From what I’ve heard, the other guard unit isn’t as effective as ours.”

He glared at me, opening his mouth to say something but was cut off by Pete. “Watch what you say, Gerard’s been tipped to climb the ranks in the guards.”

I could’ve slapped him for even suggesting it in a packed room, especially in front of Frank. The other guard just shoved past me without a word, leaving the room in a somewhat tense state and me giving Pete a pained expression.

“And where exactly did you hear that?” I asked after a few seconds of suffocating silence.

Pete shrugged. “People talk, the other guards in our unit seem to think Lieutenant Bright is training you to take over in an emergency.”

I didn’t want to look at Frank, I knew he’d be slightly jealous of my supposed potential. However I couldn’t avoid eye contact when he approached me.

“Thanks.” He said, no trace of malice in his voice. “I…I probably would’ve decked the guy eventually…”

I smiled, Mikey ruffled Frank’s hair. “It’s okay Frank…”

The rest of the room went back to their original tasks, we quickly finished up and went back to the civilian hanger. Normally the guards would rest up in the barracks but we weren’t exclusively forced to be there, mainly because the guards nearly all had friends or family who they were risking their lives for now so it seemed only fair.

I had gotten used to Mikey and Frank cuddling up at night, mainly because the tent wasn’t really big enough for all seven of us to lay out properly. We slept in shifts normally anyway because we had just fallen into that habit whilst on the road, although it was always a surprise to wake up and find myself being used as a pillow by either Ray or Pete.

This night was no different, within minutes of getting inside the tent the two lovers were already half-asleep locked in a tight embrace. I sat in the entranceway with Patrick and exchanged greetings with the small family living next to us, whilst this wasn’t the ideal life to be leading it was certainly the best considering the circumstances.

As the hanger fell into the eerie quiet that occurred once everyone settled down for the night, I asked Patrick how he was holding up. He was one of the rear guards in our unit and didn’t really have a key role as such but he was still an important part of the team.

“I’m alright, I’d rather stay here but I suppose that they think my place is out there with you.”

“Well someone’s got to keep Pete in line.” I remarked with a smile.

He smiled back and shook his head lightly. “I’m sure you could manage it.”

“Oh not you too?” I sighed. “Why does everyone think I’m being fast-tracked as the next leader or whatever we wanna call them?”

Patrick just smiled at me and let out a small laugh. “Although I don’t know you as well as Ray and Frank, and certainly not as well as Mikey, I do know that you’re a born leader.”

I shook my head. “No…no I’m not Patrick....”

“Who was the one who, from what I’ve heard, got his brother and two friends out of New Jersey in the middle of the night with the odds stacked against them?”

“…me…” I uttered.

“And who was the one who single-handedly tried to quell the feud between Frank and Pete?”

“...me…”

“The one who built up a stable environment to live in for a few weeks? Who ignored Frank’s protests to not give us a chance but instead shared all his resources with us? Who led the charge against not one but two hordes which included mutants? Who then put everything on the line to get his brother medical treatment? Who sacrificed his freedom to join the guard unit in order to secure his brother and friend’s survival?”

I didn’t say anything, I didn’t have to.

“Face it Gee, anyone who’s heard those stories…and that’s quite a few people as Frank can’t stop idolising you for some strange reason…thinks you’re more than leadership material.”

“Don’t say it.”

“They think you’re a hero.”

I inhaled deeply. I didn’t want to be known as a hero, I was just a confused high school student who forced himself to grow up overnight in order to survive. I was just an average man.

“I think Jenna and her higher ups are thinking that you could step up when things get tough. People listen to you Gerard, you talk sense and you keep your cool in stressful situations…”

Whether I liked it or not, Patrick was probably right. The other guards in our unit seemed to respond to my suggestions and actions easily, as if they whole-heatedly believe that I’m always going to be right. The question that haunted my thoughts was; what if one day I’m wrong and I lead everyone to their deaths? What then? Am I really a leader or a ‘hero’ if I am responsible for getting them killed?

We didn’t say much else and elected to squeeze into the crowded space, I pressed myself against Mikey’s back and faced Ray. The unanswered questions still whirled around inside my mind, I didn’t want to be branded as a hero, heroes are people who do extraordinary things and I am completely ordinary…


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have watched a few too many Attack on Titan AMV's whilst writing this...  
> Either way, hope you enjoy!

**Thirty**

**Frank**

A siren woke us up. It had been a few days since the last supply trip was made, in fact no-one had left the base since then which was a little strange. I scrambled over Mikey’s half-asleep form and bailed out the tent opening. Ray and Pete were looking around frantically, Gerard was nowhere to be seen and neither was Bob.

“The fuck is happening?” I shouted over the blare of the air siren that was echoing throughout the base. Mikey and Patrick had emerged equally as confused, we were about to follow the other frantic civilians to the emergency bunker when Gerard appeared on horseback, Bob by his side also riding a horse.

“We’re under attack.” He explained. “Get your gear Pete and Patrick, we’re riding out to meet them. The rest of you; get to the bunker.”

I looked to Mikey and Ray, we were already in agreement. “No Gerard. We’re going with you. You’ll need every able body out there.” Ray stated.

“No. I’m under orders to get these two and then get back to the unit. You guys aren’t--”

“Fuck sake Gerard shut up.” Mikey snapped. “We’re not gonna just sit on our asses here and wait for you guys to nearly get yourselves killed again. We’re going with you whether the lieutenant likes it or not.”

Gerard gave us all a stern look but nodded silently. We quickly got dressed before following Pete to the barracks where we could get properly kitted out in more sturdy combat gear that had been developed here in the base.

“Say, what exactly are we up against?” I asked one of the commanding officers who was waiting for us.

“A horde unlike any we’ve seen, scouting parties had tracked it for the last two weeks heading our way but word didn’t get to us in time to prepare.”

I nodded, pulling on the modified wetsuit which would make it harder for me to get seriously bitten. Next was the typical military boots and shooting gloves and finally the tight water resistant jacket and pants, both dark grey to retain heat. We walked through the armoury picking up a handgun each and whatever we were comfortable using; I picked the simple but reliable daggers that hadn’t failed me yet.

Once assembled in the courtyard, both guard units and civilians like us who refused to hide from this threat, Jenna addressed us, she wasn’t on horseback like I thought she would’ve been but still geared up for the fight of her life.

“I know a lot of you are probably wondering why we didn’t prepare for this sooner.” She stated, hair whipping in the winter wind. “The truth is we didn’t know about this until our lookout spotted them, the scouts were lost in the wilderness due to extreme weather, for that I can only apologise but we must focus on the task at hand.”

“There are many of them, I won’t lie to you, but I do have faith in our fighting abilities and our teamwork. I can’t promise that there will not be casualties but if we go out there with the determination and courage that mankind has kept for thousands of years, then we will stand a chance of surviving here today. I don’t know why they’re here or what their purpose is but our purpose right here and right now is to kill those bastards and continue living!”

A cheer rose up, I reached for Mikey’s hand and squeezed it, he squeezed mine back. Gerard patted Mikey’s head as he moved his horse forward to meet with the lieutenant, Ray gripped my shoulder reassuringly and Pete and Patrick gave us a smile of encouragement. Within a few minutes there was a call from the lookout tower to our left, the horde had stopped, it was just like the last time we faced one.

Gerard was apparently in charge, so much for not being a commanding officer, Jenna’s unit was first out the gate – a group of fifty soldiers – followed by Bryce’s and then it was ours. The snow had eased but that didn’t mean that trekking out to meet this horde was gonna be easy, it also meant that all combat would be hindered by the restricted movement.

“I love you Frank.” Mikey said to me as we stopped in our final standing position.

“I love you too Mikey.” I replied, giving him a small smile. “I was gonna wait til later to give you this but I suppose now will do.”

He gave me a puzzled look as I reached around my neck, I took his hand and placed the gold chain into his palm. “I know you’re not really a chain guy but I found it on a supply trip a few days ago and thought you’d like it anyway.”

He pulled me in for a tight hug, lips pressing against my cheek as he clutched the chain. “Survive for me yeah?” he whispered.

“Only if you return the favour.”

A call from the lieutenant parted us, we were gonna wait for Jenna’s order before attacking, I could see the cluster of zombies ahead of us – just like last time they just huddled together and stared. With no-one really knowing how they got here or what they even wanted it was going to be hard for us to anticipate what they would do. Gerard was speaking to the lieutenant, probably sharing what little information we had on this situation, after all it could save our lives.

We had been waiting for a while when a red flare fired, the zombies took notice and a few shuffled forwards, Jenna’s unit were the closest to them, a few seconds later a blue flare went up – Bryce’s colour – and then after that Gerard fired a green one. We were confused but it seemed to signal something to those in the loop as Jenna’s unit suddenly sprang into action; sprinting and riding towards what they had perceived as the leader.

Seconds later Bryce’s unit followed suit, I inhaled deeply knowing that we’d be next. When both the lieutenant and Gerard refused to move there was a sense that something wasn’t right. The two units clashed with the horde, sounds of gunfire, horses and cries of the wounded filled the cold air. I looked to the others who were equally as confused but Pete seemed to sense something.

“We’re the reserves.” He said to us quietly. “It’s a tactic that we’ve always had if we ever came up against a horde – most of the unit heads straight in for the fight but a small number stay behind and bring in fresh fighters when needed.”

I nodded. “So when their numbers go down, we go in?”

“In essence, yes.”

We waited, eventually Pete beckoned us to follow him up to the front where Gerard was watching the carnage, at least we’d all be together for this.

“When are we going in then?” Pete asked casually. Gerard looked at us all before focusing back on the fight in front of us.

“Soon.”

Lieutenant Bright turned to address the unit, we were only thirty strong but many of us had fought or gone out on trips together so the comradery was strong.

“Right, on our signal we ride. Hell awaits us but we’re the base’s last hope out here…if we die then everyone in there dies. May God have mercy on our souls.”

Short and to the point but it got us focused on what was at stake here. Pete fist-bumped us all, possibly the last we’d ever do. Gerard fired the green flare again and spurred his horse, which was our signal to move. The snow had been churned up significantly by the time we reached the chaos. Bodies of soldier and zombie alike lay in pieces but I had to ignore them as I drew my handgun and a dagger. There wasn’t much difference to fighting the horde by the farmhouse except for the increased numbers on our side and less gunfire involved.

I tag-teamed many larger zombies with Mikey, a way of keeping the two of us alive in this hell, he’d distract them as I launched myself at their backs – shredding the nerves in their neck and rendering them paralysed. Several times I was pinned and was saved by members from other units with only a nod in thanks before moving to eliminate another risk.

“Watch your back!” Ray called, shoulder charging a larger male from behind me and decapitating it with a large blade.

“Same to you Toro.” I remarked through gritted teeth as I fired at a small female to our right.

I ended up back-to-back with Patrick; both of us firing and slashing throats before we broke apart, losing each other in the mayhem. Gerard was using his horse to his advantage, I almost didn’t see him coming and I certainly didn’t expect the extending arm to reach for me and pull me up behind him.

“What gives?” I panted, shooting a desperate mundane reaching for us as we swerved through the carnage, it was a miracle the horse wasn’t freaking out.

“We have a mutant, Bob should’ve collected Pete by now. We figured you still have some pent up anger to deal with.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply before I saw it; a huge troll-like thing, it was knocking soldiers over like bowling pins, my blood froze when I realised the I was expected to kill this thing.

“I’ll be with you Frank.” he said quietly.

That he was, he sent the horse galloping away and stood with Bob, Pete and I as the mutant scattered other ground troops and finally took notice of us. I holstered the pistol and drew a second dagger, if we could re-enact what happened before then this could work. However this was a bigger mutant and I didn’t actually have much pent up anger but I supposed that any experience was useful in this situation.

Bob and Pete snapped into their roles as before; distraction whilst Gerard and I fended off mundanes as we positioned ourselves to ambush it from behind. There was a limited window to boost me up to its neck height so I could attempt to decapitate it, Gerard nodded as I started running, I hoped to hell that the thing didn’t move drastically.

My legs nearly didn’t find purchase on its wounded shoulders, I sunk one dagger in to gain a handle, it screeched in pain and spun around too quickly for me to secure myself. I flew to the ground and hit my ribs hard. Gerard hauled me up in time to avoid a death blow. Pete tried to get on top of its shoulders as I had done but he completely missed – ending up in the snow as Bob fought to keep the thing’s attention.

I looked around for inspiration for a new plan of attack, the snow had hidden most of the natural ledges so I’d have to rely on a boost from someone else in order to get up high enough to decapitate the mutant.

Unless we made it shorter.

“Take out its legs!” I hissed to Gerard and Pete who had since gathered himself again.

My daggers alone would be useless, there’s no way they’d cut through the bones but the machete that Bob was sporting could do the trick. I fired five bullets at the mutant, getting its attention from Bob so Gerard could sprint over and rely the new plan, with little other option I started sprinting with Pete by my side. We tried to cut a path through the mundanes, other units had obviously been tipped off to our task as they cleared the way and didn’t intervene. My lungs burned and my legs were screaming in pain as we stumbled over the mangled bodies, we could hear the mutant’s grunts and growls as it followed us.

“Why isn’t that thing dead yet?” a voice exploded over the screams of falling soldiers. Jenna was covered in blood and visibly shaken but was still holding onto her authority, Will was with her but he didn’t address us. “I sent you two there because you’ve killed one before and now I find you running away from it?!”

With that, Bob let out a yell and we turned around to see the mutant fall onto a stump where its right leg had been, a few seconds later the left leg was severed – leaving the thing crawling on its arms towards us. I hesitated before fighting back the fear that I had let rise in me, had no-one else ever killed one before?

Pete lodged a dagger in the skull of a mundane that was headed for me, was I really the one to do this? Gerard open fired to my right, Bob was shouting something at me but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I looked down at the crawling mutant. Its face was covered in rashes, angry red boils broke out over its neck and shoulders, dirt and blood stuck to what was left of its hair and all over its skin in lashings and spattered patterns. The eyes were relatively normal though, something I had never cared to notice in the chaotic battles up until now, they seemed to be the last trace of humanity trapped within this ravaged body.

“Frank! Fucking kill it!” Gerard’s frantic scream broke my thoughts. I was pulled back into the harsh reality as its hand closed around my ankle and brought me tumbling into the snow. My quick reflexes severed the hand and I scrambled to decapitate it. With the head removed all movement ceased.

“Why the fuck are these things taller than average?” I complained as I stood up again.

“Who the fuck knows, just kill it faster next time yeah?” Bob uttered.

I knew my body would be broken beyond repair if I let the horde have its way with me but it was getting harder to keep myself moving. My vision was blurring with every harsh knock and near miss that I encountered, I had been bitten several times but the wetsuits were holding up so far from what I could tell, although it was difficult to tell whose blood was whose anymore.

Bryce had found me in the chaos and had teamed up with me, moving swiftly out of the way of the flailing limbs and violently severing heads whenever they got too close. I tried to follow suit but she was fast and agile where I was somewhat sluggish in comparison. We hacked our way towards one of the flares that had signalled the need for assistance, a red one, I didn’t think much of it until we got there and found Ray, Mikey and some other soldiers under siege from a mutant.

Regardless of any fatigue I had been feeling, I snapped into action – continuing to dispose of the mundanes as I fought my way to them. Ignoring Bryce’s calls to wait for more backup as I sprang up and lodged my dagger into its neck, left it there as I fell to the ground with a muffled thud. Mikey’s hand hauled me out of reach of a mundane as the mutant screeched in pain – it was a female one for a change.

“Fucking idiot!” he cussed, hitting the back of my head and making my vision blur slightly.

“Wha?”

“Her screeches draw more of them!” he half-sobbed, he was beginning to lose his composure.

I spotted Patrick in the crowd of soldiers keeping the mundanes back from the injured, Ray was trying to keep those unable to fight back calm and out of danger. With my vision still blurred I struggled to my feet and drew my spare dagger, this mutant was going down even if I had to gouge her eyes out first. Mikey was at a loss when I tore away from his grasp, Bryce however was more with it when she gutted a mundane and summoned the attention of the mutant long enough for me to grab onto her arm and lever myself up to where the first dagger was still lodged.

She screeched loudly and flailed, I sunk a second dagger in and held on for my life as I was shaken and knocked from side to side. A gunshot sounded and I was able to slash at her neck with my last dagger – eliciting another screech but this time I was prepared, I tossed my dagger down to Mikey and let my body weight rake the blades through the mutant’s body as she flailed from side to side – the momentum causing the blades to jerk harshly through flesh. The daggers came loose and I was launched into the ground again, my shoulder cracking ever-so-slightly. Mikey’s hands once again gripped my arms as the mutant fell with one last screech of anguish.

“You need to stop scaring the crap out of me.” He babbled, holding me close to him as soldiers rushed the mundanes. Gerard and the others appeared and we were all together once again, we had lost a lot of people and the mundanes were more powerful than what we were used to but we were still putting up a fight.

“…where’s Jenna?” I asked, my eyes scanning the fighters.

Mikey looked around but didn’t answer, I broke away from his grasp and instantly regretted it when my legs buckled under my weight and flared in pain. A scream drew me back to the chaos, another god damn mutant had appeared and it was larger than the others – there was no way these things were naturally mutating anymore…not to the size they were getting.

“That thing has to be ten feet tall…” Patrick said, withdrawing his sword, the only one I’d actually seen.

“Oh god…” Gerard choked out.

I looked towards whatever it was fighting with, a small group of soldiers being led by a woman. I focused on what was happening; they had no clue how to approach it effectively as it just swept them aside with very little effort and even crushing a few of them in its hands. Pete fetched a horse, it seemed he was set on going out there, Gerard and Bob too.

“I’m going.” I said, forcing myself to stand.

“Why Frank?” Mikey pleaded, it was stupid to think we were discussing this when others were dying around us.

“Because that’s Jenna out there.” I stated, grabbing the reins of a second horse. “And she said that Pete and I are the only ones who have killed these things before.”

“So?”

“I have a fucking duty out here!” I snapped, not intending to hurt him but it seemed necessary. “And I’ve wanted to have a fucking purpose for once in my life, I’m not gonna let it slip by now.”

Pete looked uncomfortable but said nothing, handing me my daggers from the corpse of the female mutant as I sat myself upon the horse.

“I’m sorry Mikey.” I said, digging heels into the horse and shot off with Pete, Gerard and Bob. I felt sick to my stomach but I had to do my part, sure I wasn’t technically a guard and I should’ve stayed due to my injuries but I couldn’t just sit by and watch our leader get killed by the thing I hated the most, I had lost so much because of these damn zombies and I wanted my revenge.

We galloped as fast as the horses could manage in the snow, over mangled bodies and between fighting units, we had a vague idea of what we were riding into but this was the largest mutant we’d seen let alone killed. None of us spoke, there was an uneasy silence between us as we reached Jenna’s unit – or rather the remains of it.

“Take the left.” Pete told Gerard. “Bob, you take the right. Frank and I will go down the middle.”

Jenna’s unit were in ruins, they’d almost given up all hope, when we galloped past I heard the warnings of the danger but also shouts of encouragement; “Fucking kill the bastard!”

I smirked, clutching one dagger as Gerard and Bob split off from us. I was scared, there was no doubt that these could be our final moments but there was a glimmer of hope in the shrouded darkness. As the horses galloped towards the thing, Jenna and Will were still in combat with it but stopped when they saw we had arrived, I felt almost invincible – if anyone was going to kill this thing then it would be us.

“Now!” I shouted.

Gerard and Bob open fired on the mutant, drawing its attention immediately as the continued onwards. This left the mutant’s back and neck open for attack, Pete and I positioned ourselves to leap off the horses and drive our blades into its neck.

It was engrossed in trying to capture Bob and Gerard who were running rings around it, I leapt first and struck the first blow with Pete following mere seconds afterwards. Jenna and Will were in awe but lent a hand one the mutant was aware of our presence on its back.

“Don’t get thrown again.” Pete remarked, grabbing my wrist as the thing began to flail violently. “I’m not carrying your corpse back to Mikey.”

“Shut your face Pete.” I breathed, briefly smirking before I lifted myself up onto the mutant’s shoulder. Rather than drawing another dagger I cocked my handgun and fired repeatedly into the back of the skull – tossing the firearm once I had spent all the bullets. It roared in protest, Bob and Gerard went to work on its legs, narrowly dodging getting kicked or stepped on in the process all whilst Pete and I slashed at the tough skin on the neck.

As for Jenna and Will, they had moved to diversion tactics, miraculously keeping the thing from immediately throwing us off which worked until Bob finally took out one of its legs and it fell forwards – trapping Will underneath it.  We worked quickly to decapitate it with all the blades we could muster but it still left Will trapped underneath a shoulder that could weigh tonnes.

“Will!” Jenna cried, he was still alive but his ribs had been crushed so his lungs were probably punctured.

I flopped down on the snow, my injuries thankful for the coldness, the rest of the mundanes were being taken care of quickly and the end was in sight. Jenna was frantically pulling at the mutant’s shoulder – trying to ease the pressure but it was in vain, Will was already half-dead. Gerard and Pete stayed with her as Bob left to report to Bryce and Lt Bright if he could find them in the carnage. I stared at the ten foot mutant, other members of Jenna’s unit – the most experienced fighters on base – congratulated me and gave me bittersweet compliments…either they weren’t aware of Will’s plight or they were just toughing it out for now.

The sun was setting when I returned to Jenna’s side, she had sobbed for so long and the battle was done. I don’t know why I felt like I had to stay with her but I had. Pete and Gerard had left us a horse but gone back – mainly to tell Mikey I was actually still alive and just resting.

“…he…he nearly made it.” Jenna sobbed. I wasn’t sure the nature of their relationship but I gathered they had been close.

“…I’m sorry…” I said.

“Don’t be.” She stated, standing up and looking at Will’s eerily peaceful face. “You did your duty Frank. And Will did his.”

“That doesn’t make his death any less emotional. He was still a person, you clearly cared for him.”

She nodded. I grabbed the reins of the horse and offered them to her, she shook her head. “No…you need it, your legs are probably causing you a lot of pain with all the fighting.”

I reluctantly accepted, she led the horse back to the base. We passed many mangled bodies, they looked horrific in the fading light and I didn’t fancy being out during the night. A few mundanes were still somewhat alive but they were the least of our worries as I noticed my side wound had reopened at some point during the battle and the pain was only just beginning to spread. By the time we got through the gates the sun had set and the cold night had begun. Bryce was waiting for us, as soon as she saw the state of my side she called for a medic and someone to fetch one of the guys, Jenna was quiet as the horse was taken away from her. I told her I’d come and visit her once I was cleared from the infirmary. She simply shrugged in reply.


	31. Chapter 31

**Thirty-one**

**Gerard**

Having to remove Mikey from the battlefield with brute force was something I didn’t want to do again. When Pete and I returned looking worse for wear he practically lost it – thinking the worst – and broke down in Ray’s arms. I told him that Frank was definitely alive so he tried to find him, with Jenna’s orders to retreat inside the base I had to physically restrain him and drag him kicking and screaming. No-one had escaped the fight without injury, even if we had powered through the pain during the height of battle we were now feeling the agony. I winced as Mikey fought against my grasp, the others didn’t help – they saw this as a family matter.

“Gerard let me go and fucking find him!” he cried, tears had stained his cheeks and he was far beyond hysterical as the medics raised an eyebrow at me. I shook my head at them and continued to drag Mikey into the private sleeping quarters.

“Mikes…he’s _fine._ ” I said through gritted teeth, ignoring the cut to my cheek that flared in pain.

“I don’t believe you! Why won’t you let me see him?”

I sat him down on the sleeping cot, his face was bloodied, hands cut up and clothing torn apart. I went about cleaning his wounds, he repeated his question several times. I elected to ignore it. It wasn’t my place to tell him that Will had died, or that Jenna was broken up about it. My hands shook as I dabbed the cloth at his face, he stared at me with watery eyes, the betrayal and hurt clear in the blurred amber orbs.

“Don’t hate me.” I pleaded. “You’ll understand.”

“Gerard, cut the bullshit.” He snapped. “Where is Frank?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I placed my hands gently on his shoulders and rested my forehead against his. He pulled away at first but collapsed against me, I winced slightly but hugged him tightly. The reality of what we had just survived hit me like a tidal wave. He sobbed and balled his hands into fists as they rested against my back. I didn’t know how long we were there in the private room but when we emerged it was dark. A few frantic shouts from the gate drew us closer, a lone horse was being led by Jenna, Frank was slouched half on the saddle. Mikey ran towards him but was held back by a guard, Frank called something to Jenna who was taken away by Bryce, he was then helped off the horse and half-carried towards the infirmary.

Mikey broke away from the guard and sprinted into Frank’s arms. The two of them sobbed as they embraced, the medic looked on in a reserved confusion before urging them to continue walking. My gaze went back to Jenna and Bryce, I caught Bryce’s eye and she ushered me over. We walked up to Jenna’s office, the few people in the command centre regarded us with solemn glances but said nothing. Word must have travelled quickly of Will’s death.

Once the door closed Bryce sat Jenna down on the floor and set a glass of water in her hands. Not a word was uttered for the first few moments until Jenna started wailing, the glass was dropped to the floor as she covered her face. Bryce and I exchanged worried glances, I knelt down beside Jenna and placed a hand on her shoulder, she leaned into me so I gently pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into my shirt.

There wasn’t anything we could do really, the civilians were demanding answers and Lt Bright was still finding out how many were lost in the fight so there was no-one to dispel rumours of Jenna’s death or confirm those of Will’s. Bryce seemed just as torn up as Jenna so there was an unspoken agreement that I was going to have to address the base. One of the other lieutenants came and collected me from the office, leaving Bryce to comfort Jenna, I received a few tips on what to say and how to break the news. I also had to announce that we had no official leader for the time being due to Jenna’s unstable state.

I wasn’t sure why they had picked me. I guessed that they seemed to think I was leader material…or maybe just charismatic enough to deal with the upset citizens. Before addressing them, I was taken to the infirmary to tell the soldiers of this latest development. All of the others were there, albeit only Frank was in a bed and the others had all been patched up already but they were all in one place for a change.

“Sup Gee?” Ray asked.

“I have to address the base.” I told them, the stern look Mikey gave me when he realised what I meant sent a chill down my spine.

“Huh?” Bob asked. “Why you?”

I looked to the lieutenant who simply nodded and stepped back slightly.

“Well Jenna’s alive but she’s in no fit state to run the base, at least not for now.” I said. “Bryce is with her but is equally as shook up…”

“So?” Pete jumped in, probably seeing where this was going.

“I guess I’m somewhat in charge until they both recover?”

They all just looked at me, I didn’t know if they were happy or not. Frank was the first to speak. “Do you _want_ to be in charge? And where are the other fucking lieutenants?!”

I hadn’t even considered it, I had just been given this task and because I had Jenna sobbing into my shirt at the time I didn’t refuse. There was no reason for me to not be in charge – everyone seemed to think I was capable of it, but did I actually _want_ the responsibility of keeping all these people alive? Was I really the one to save these lives, to lead the charge against another horde?

“We lost a lot of people out there…I-I don’t…I don’t really have a choice.”

“That’s bullshit!” Mikey exploded, Patrick had to coax him to sit back down before he caused a scene. “You do have a choice Gerard.”

“Mikey is right Gerard.” Ray continued. “You don’t have to be the leader if you don’t want to, if you don’t feel like you could manage--”

“But I feel like I’m the only one who could do it right now. Will’s dead and the entire leadership of the base has been rocked by the battle. They’re not trained military no matter what everyone thinks, and even then only a monster kills without emotions. Do any of us actually know what Jenna has been through? We’ve all lost someone, maybe Will was the last connection to her life before now? I mean I’d be completely broken if any of you died, that goes without saying, so maybe we need a leader who has a somewhat clear head? Maybe I am the right person, at least for the next few days whilst Jenna grieves?” I cut in, silencing them all with my reasoning.

The lieutenant had been standing behind me for a while in silence, with my outburst she coughed slightly and gestured to the rest of the infirmary, I had a job to do after all.

“So…I gotta tell everyone.” I said. “I’m not gonna let them part us, I’ll stay with you guys as much as I can…we’re in this together after all.”

I was worried that they’d shut me out, the opposite happened actually; Mikey stood up and hugged me tightly, I went on to hug everyone – even Frank despite his injuries making him bed bound. The task of telling the remains of the soldiers was now upon me, I sent the lieutenant to gather everyone in the centre, those who could not stand would be wheeled as close as possible, I stood on a table and cleared my throat.

“I-I’m no good with speeches.” I said. “But you all need an update on where we stand.”

“Who the fuck are you?” a heavily bandaged guard asked.

“I’m Gerard Way, and for the next few days I’ve been appointed as the captain of the base.” I cast a glance to the others, Patrick and Ray gave me a thumbs up and a warm smile. There were a few murmurs of confusion before I continued; “Will is dead. He was crushed by the body of an injured mutant during combat, despite our efforts he was unable to be saved. Jenna survived but is now very emotionally shaken. Bryce and Lt Bright came to the agreement that it would be best for me to step in as I personally didn’t know Will that well and therefore am not as shaken by his death.”

“Will Jenna ever come back?” another voice asked.

“I can’t say. I will be acting as leader under Bryce’s guidance just to restore order and comfort the civilians however we are hoping that within a few days or weeks Jenna will take her place again as captain.”

There wasn’t much resistance, I think most of them were just thankful they were alive and that someone was still leading the base, that there was someone else making the tough decisions and not them. Regardless, the civilians would want more answers than these guards. I was about to be whisked off when Ray appeared at my side, I gave him a puzzled look.

“I’m staying with you Gee.” He told me, nodding to the lieutenant to continue leading us to the balcony overhanging the civilian meeting point. “I’m not letting you go through this alone, and before you ask about the others; Frank’s fine, we’re all fine…we’re just worried about you now.”

I wanted to hug him, in essence we had drifted apart in all of this. I had been so caught up in keeping everyone alive and defusing arguments that I had neglected one of my best friends. How I wanted to go back to the lazy afternoons arguing over comic books with Mikey whilst Ray tinkered with the broken games console in the corner of the room, occasionally interrupting us with a counter argument or to show us whatever he had done to the xbox controller. Yet here he was, standing by me as I fought a whole new battle. We found Lt Bright on the balcony, with a few hushed murmurs he turned and silenced the confused civilians with a simple hand gesture. They all looked up at me as I gripped the metal railing for life, I had to find the right words or else I’d cause a mass panic.

“Ahem, so I have an announcement from Captain Ashton, or you probably know her as Jenna.” I stated. “It is with regret that I must tell you that Will is no longer with us.” A shocked murmur passed over those gathered in front of me. “He fought bravely throughout the battle but was crushed by the falling body of a mutant…Jenna survived but is very shaken up about the ordeal. So I will be acting as captain of the base under the guidance of Bryce and Lt Bright here.”

“If you have any questions or concerns then don’t hesitate to raise them, I’ll do my best to deal with whatever comes up.”

“When will Jenna be back?” a voice called.

“Whenever she feels ready to. Bryce will step up sooner probably, I’m just going to be an acting captain until then just to handle the domestic proceedings within the base.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” another voice asked, the doubt clear in their tone. “Will you become our new leader?”

I didn’t have an answer to that question, I wasn’t whole-heartedly agreeing with the idea of being the new captain and I knew the others would freak out if they found out…

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it.” I declared, that had been our mantra ever since this started and it hadn’t failed us so far. Planning too far ahead can get you killed these days it seemed. “I will act in the interest of the base and all those inside it, should the lieutenants decide I am best suited for the job then so be it. But I will not get ahead of myself, the important thing right now is to ensure our safety and prepare for the long winter.”

I left the hanger with Ray by my side, if I _did_ become the captain of the base then there’s no doubt who I’d want to be my second in command. With a long list of things to take care of in the aftermath of the battle there was no time to relax, I cleared it with the lieutenant to first write those things down and secondly to approve Ray’s position as my assistant for the time being. Once we had the list and Ray was cleared to be with me, we set about eliminating the tasks.

“So…getting an accurate number of those we lost huh?” Ray murmured as we walked out to the gate to where the battle had taken place. Two days had passed since the bloodbath, the remaining gaurds had taken it upon themselves to remove as many bodies as possible – leaving the mundanes and mutants alike to freeze in the snow.

“Yeah. There’s a few left out here that we’re gonna help bring in, then we have to figure out what to do with them…”

“Tradition would say we bury them.” He said. “But the ground is frozen.”

“As much as I hate to say it…maybe ceremonial cremation is a waste.”

He gave me a slightly puzzled look. “Elaborate.”

“We need fuel for the fires in the kitchens…”

“I think that’s a step too far dude…these are people they knew.”

I admit, he was right – whilst it would be a reasonable thing to suggest I knew it wouldn’t gain us any favours as far as moral was these days. So we arranged for the remaining bodies to be taken back, I sent word to the rest of the base that there would be a mass cremation at dusk, that those who wished to attend could do so and those who wouldn’t could decline without question. Ray went to follow up on where Will’s body ended up so I paid Jenna a visit – mainly to tell her that the cremation was happening and that Will’s body was going to be there.

“But…he has a family plot in Sacramento…” she murmured, staring at the map of California with very little emotion. “He can’t be cremated…”

Bryce said nothing, she hadn’t said _much_ during the past few days and I wasn’t about to give myself more work…I was pondering sending her down to talk to the others – give them peace of mind or rather get a very blunt therapy session from them.

“Jenna…I--” I stopped myself, I had to handle her carefully. “Tell me more about Will.”

“Wha…what do.” She looked at me, confused but showing some emotion finally.

“How did you meet him?”

“…we were neighbours when we were kids.” She told me. “I moved here from Canada, he was my first real friend. We did everything together.”

I nodded, beckoning her to keep talking.

“People joked about us being a thing…we practically friendzoned each other.” She laughed even though she was on the verge of tears. “We didn’t care. When this all started we kept each other calm and when they busted down the door--”

“He protected her, nearly got bit.” Bryce interrupted as Jenna sobbed into her hands. “They made it out alive and I found them just outside the city.”

“And then?”

Bryce shrugged. “Unnecessary details. The point is for a while it was just the three of us, we found a way of living and fighting, eventually met up with some reserve soldiers who ran this base.”

“What happened to them?”

“Killed. Four of them by zombies, others got taken out by thugs a while back…we took charge and started letting others shelter here, we had enough supplies to help those in need. Jenna became the captain, she’s the friendlier of the three of us, Will was the best fighter so he started training them, I just did the odd jobs around the place and looked after the civilians.”

Jenna had sobbed herself to sleep it seemed, I told Bryce I’d come and get the two of them when the cremation was going to begin. Ray had begun to notify the civilians that the bodies were available to be identified. I took time out to go and visit the others. Bob was restless, Pete doubly so but both hid it as soon as I arrived.

“Alright Gee?” Bob yawned. “Or should we say Capt?”

I grimaced. “I’m not _the_ captain. I’m just a filler.” I remarked, hugging my brother tightly. “Are you guys okay?”

“Bored out of my mind.” Frank dryly replied from the bed, his side was heavily bandaged and his hands were all scabbed over. “Stupid medic says I have to rest for a few more days.”

“Well you _did_ take down three mutants by catapulting yourself onto their shoulders…” Patrick added.

“Pft. Still, bored as fuck.”

I rolled my eyes. “So anyway, we’re having a mass cremation at dusk. I’m assuming you’ll all be there.”

“You bet, hey you have any idea when we’ll be back on guard duty?” Pete asked. “Not trying to sound blood-thirsty but I have to agree with Frank, I’m kinda bored.”

“There’s plenty of shit to be done around here if you’re that bored Pete.” I answered.

“Like?”

“We need to get rid of the bodies outside the gate. They’re gonna attract pests and more of them probably.”

Pete gave me a disgusted face but shrugged after exchanging glances with Patrick and Bob. They agreed to get on it after the cremation. I met up with Ray and we decided we couldn’t burn them in fear of spreading the infection so we were in a bit of predicament.

“Can’t burn them, can’t bury them, can’t eat them…what _can_ we do with them?” I sighed, we were watching the guards place the soldiers bodies on top a pyre that would be lit for the cremation, neither of us knew what to do with the remains of the hordes.

“I don’t know…we’ve never had to get rid of so many.” Ray replied, running a hand through his untamed hair. “All I can suggest is we stack them up and let them rot?”

“Why don’t you cremate them too?” one of the guards who had been listening to our conversation asked. “I mean, they were people too…before they mutated.”

I took a closer look at the guard; he wasn’t much younger than Mikey, long brown hair shielding his eyes from the winter sunlight, if I knew any better I’d say he was hardly out of middle school.

“What’s your name?” I asked, nodding towards him.

“Alex.” He said.

“…how old are you?” Ray asked, seeming to latch on to my thought process.

“Fifteen.”

Ray and I exchanged glances. “…you here alone?” I pressed.

“Nah, my buddy Jack is somewhere…we didn’t fight out _there_ , we stayed with the civilians…” he told us. “We’re from Baltimore.”

I nodded uneasily, I didn’t realise that the guard unit had already start recruiting again. “I get what you’re saying Alex…but we can’t really justify doing two cremations – and we’re not putting them both together.”

Alex shrugged and went back to carefully placing bodies on the stack of dried wood. I beckoned Ray to follow me, we walked out the gates and took in the sight of the massacre. I wanted to vomit from the stench, despite the winter climate making decomposition slow it still stank like hell.

“…still no idea what we’re gonna do with them…” I murmured.

“First act as Captain…” Ray remarked. “Not as easy as Jenna made it seem hm?”

I smiled slightly, the day drew on with odd jobs popping up here and there. Most of them were handled quickly but the ongoing problem of what to do about the pile of death on our doorstep was beginning to bug me. The sun began setting so I sent Alex to round up the civilians and Ray to get the remaining soldiers whilst I collected Jenna and Bryce. Everyone was gathered when I brought them down, I hadn’t really planned a speech but me being the captain currently meant that I was gonna have to improvise, and quickly.

I cleared my throat. “So…I already said I’m not good with speeches but I’ll try my best.” All I got in response were nods of approval.

“We lost a lot of honest fighters on that day, there is no doubt that without them putting their lives on the line we wouldn’t be stood here today. Not one of them was more important than the other, they were all loved by someone, we can do nothing except show our gratitude for their sacrifice and give them a proper send off.” I spoke without stuttering, slowly walking around the pyre. “Would anyone like to add anything?”

Bryce stepped forward without hesitation. “I’m speaking on behalf of all those who knew Will, but mainly I’m speaking for Jenna and myself.” She declared. “Not many of you will remember how this base started out as our refuge, but we can thank Will for it all. He saved Jenna’s life when the outbreak came to California. It was his quick thinking and fighting skills that kept the three of us alive, those two things that kept us _all_ alive. Now I don’t know about the rest of you but I think that if it wasn’t for him then none of us would’ve made it this far.”

A murmur of agreement passed over those gathered, I watched Jenna’s reaction – she was crying quietly and being held by Lt Bright, he had gotten close to the three of us which I was thankful for as it took one more thing off my mind.

A few others made small speeches about particular loved ones, we then lit the pyre. The smell of burning flesh filled the area, the flames danced in the dusk. The crowd dispersed slowly, I was left with Ray and the others along with Jenna and Bryce. We said nothing at first, letting the sight before us burn into our memories, eventually Bryce took Jenna away with a nod to me and Ray.

“…so I guess we move on from this now?” Patrick murmured to me. “Get the base back to functioning normally?”

“How though? Will trained all the fighters…I can’t do it and Frank’s too injured.”

“Hey! Pete and I can do it. Pete can do the hand-to-hand stuff and I can train in firearms.”

Ray nodded thoughtfully, the younger ones had gone back to the infirmary due to Frank’s injuries still making him technically bed-bound – leaving the three of us staring at the fire. Bob had escorted some of the rookie guards back to the barracks, he was effectively in charge of them right now with Lt Bright’s attention divided.

“I can’t see it being a problem…” Ray said. “It’ll get Pete doing something at least.”

I nodded in agreement. It was decided that starting the next day Pete, Patrick and Bob would start recruiting and training rookies so boost our guard numbers again. Meanwhile I would start planning a new supply trip before it got any colder. We slept in the civilian hanger that night, Mikey stayed with Frank in the infirmary so the tent was a little less cramped than usual.

**~***~**

A few days passed, things were slowly turning back to normal, I had divided my time between planning supply trips and sorting out the odd problems with having a restricted guard duty. I sent Ray to talk with the civilians and address whatever issues they had - he was always better at talking to kids than me. Frank was finally let out of the infirmary under strict instructions to take it easy, as a result of that I told him to help out with the horses and general upkeep of the stables. As for Jenna, she was beginning to return to her normal self but she was far from being able to lead us again. Bryce was getting back into the swing of things too – taking the experienced guards out to get rid of the bodies still slowly decomposing just outside the base.

I had an idea what month it was, Jenna had kept track in a ‘captain’s log’. She recorded every trip and every fight that the base had been active in all down to the date and time. Once I took over I made sure that Bryce and I sat down every evening and updated it, the point of keeping it was so that we had a record of who ordered what to take place, should any of it come into question we could just produce the book and bury the hatchet before a mutiny began.

December 10th. That was today’s apparent date, give or take a few days. The abnormally cold winter wasn’t getting worse or better, the snow had stopped falling but the bitter chill was still here. We were leaving tomorrow for a three day supply mission, Bryce would be remaining here to take up the captaincy and I would take a 50/50 split of rookies and experienced fighters. I had half a mind to leave Frank here due to his injuries but there would be no way that I’d be able to take Mikey with me and not cause a massive argument.

I had just finished finalising the route we’d take – north of here for a day – we’d set up a small camp and press on towards a small collection of ranches and homesteads. Lt bright and I figured they’d either have stuff we could use for horses or maybe even some horses still surviving if they escaped into the food storage. From there we’d send a scouting party ahead of us to see if there were any unmapped settlements, if there weren’t then we’d turn tail and head home, if there were then I’d split the party in two and send one home whilst continuing with the other.

“So we clear on what the plan is?” I asked, watching the candle flame dance, electricity was scarce even with the solar panels so I tended to sit in candlelight, the fire helped calm my thoughts too so it was a win-win situation for me.

“I suppose. So how many horses are we taking?” Ray asked.

“We’re taking the cart horse and I’m thinking three extras. Put Pete on horseback so he can scout ahead, have another guard bringing up the rear and the third can be a spare in case we need to engage with a threat.” I explained.

“You’re gonna be on foot?”

“Yeah, why not?” I asked, disbelief clear in my voice. “I’m not that up myself…”

Ray chuckled and shook his head. “I never said that Gee. I meant that it’s not your style to be on foot these days.”

I shook my head in response. “Whatever Toro.” I sighed, a small smile playing on my lips as I folded the map up. “We leave at first light.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Thirty-two**

**Frank**

Mikey was wearing the chain I gave him, I smiled, somehow we had both survived the fight and that was something that I’d be thankful for. Gerard had told me he wasn’t completely on board with me joining the supply party due to my recent injuries but he equally wasn’t about to leave me at base alone. I assured him I wouldn’t be a burden as we geared up to leave that morning.

“It’s okay Frank, just stick to your position and you won’t be a burden.” He said with a small smile, I nodded and watched him move to inspect the supply cart. Sure he was no Jenna when it came to leading but Gerard had his own methods and quirks about him which made him an effective leader.

“See? Now stop worrying and help me saddle up the horse that’s gonna be pulling the cart.” Mikey remarked, shoving the reins into my hands.

I rolled my eyes but did as he said, there wasn’t long before it would be light enough to leave the base. At least the snow hadn’t increased, more it had turned to a slight slush instead and hadn’t frozen yet which was a slight problem for the supply cart. Within a few minutes we were ready to go and waiting for Gerard to lead us out on the excursion.

“This is a three day trip to try and replenish our food sources.” He announced to the group gathered. “There is no telling what we will be up against out there however there will be no abandoning the convoy, there will be no cowardice and there will be no heroic stunts. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Sir!” the soldiers responded. It felt weird calling Gerard ‘sir’ but we went along with it. With a nod to Pete who was on horseback Gerard led us out the gates – following Pete as he scouted ahead – and inevitably north to the colder part of former California.

**~***~**

The wind was chilling me to the bone, even with copious amounts of layers I was wearing I just couldn’t stop my teeth chattering. If we were feeling the cold then I hated to think how those who hadn’t grown up with harsh winters were feeling. We had been walking for hours, stopping every so often to rest but on the whole we just kept pressing north. The five of us walked with Gerard, joking around a little bit but forever scanning the endless white void for signs of threat. Pete would return periodically with news of what was ahead; abandoned cars half submerged in snow, burnt out houses with nothing salvageable and possibly signs of wild animals roaming around, the general report was that it was very quiet out here.

“How much further?” I asked Ray as we took another rest stop.

“I’d say another half hour of walking?” Ray answered, giving Gerard a questioning glance.

“Pete’s just checking.” Gerard replied before moving to check on the rest of the soldiers. I collapsed against Mikey and sighed, he wrapped an arm around me and hugged me tightly, Patrick and Bob exchanged words on how bad the winters were in Chicago when they were younger we simply waited until it was time to move again.

The sound of galloping hooves spurred us from our rest, Pete had returned almost as pale as the snow. Patrick immediately rose to ask what he had seen as Gerard made his way back to us. As far as I could tell there was something very wrong with what was ahead of us.

“Rubble. All of it.” Pete panted, trying to keep the horse from bolting. “Every single building…oh god the horses are all dead…I…”

“Calm down dude.” Patrick said calmly. “Breathe okay?”

Pete inhaled deeply, Mikey had gotten up and was stroking the horse’s nose in an effort to calm it down.

“…there’s no way mundanes did all that.” He finished, looking directly at Gerard.

“Show us.” Gerard simply commanded.

Everyone rose to their feet and we hurried behind Pete’s restless horse. Judging from how unsettled he was none of us knew what to expect when we got to what used to be a horse ranch. He was right in that it was all rubble, some of it was clearly burnt and other parts of it seemed to have been ripped apart with force. The sight of the remains of some of the horses nearly made my stomach turn. Bob and Patrick took a closer look at the bodies to determine what the cause of death was whilst Gerard ordered the rest of us to spread out and comb the rubble for useful scrap – this was a supply mission after all.

A few moments passed before there was any news from anyone, the horses we bought with us were acting up at the sight of the dead ones. I moved quickly over the rubble of one of the stable units, wooden beams had been scorched by fire and the stone had been blown apart. I pondered whether there had been a gas tank in one of the buildings and that it had exploded for some reason. A call from a few buildings down bought me out of my search.

“Gerard you might wanna see this!” they called, spurring everyone else to investigate too.

I peered down from a half-collapsed balcony at Gerard and the soldier inspecting the remains of a human. It was hard to tell if they had been infected before or after death, their skin was pale much like a normal human but the boils on their hands and face begged to differ.

“What are you thinking?” I asked Gerard, leaning on the railing as he pondered to himself.

“I’m not sure. I’d like to get a second opinion--”

“Gee there’s a dead mutant over here!” Bob called from a few feet away. I jumped down and rushed over with Gerard, a dead mutant was something to investigate for sure. All of the others had gathered around it, murmuring to themselves about the body, Gerard and I pushed forward to get a closer look and hopefully regain some control over the group.

“Guys, there are still buildings to search, carry on with your job. The scouts will alert us to any threats.” Gerard instructed, the soldiers gave grunts and uneasy nods in reply before spreading out again. Our attention was drawn back to the festering remains of the mutant. Ray’s estimation was that it had been dead a few days, I backed that up with my limited knowledge of decomposition. The cold climate had preserved the body so it hadn’t fully started rotting as of yet – regardless, it still stank like hell.

“So we have a dead mutant…” Mikey uttered. “A dead person and god knows how many dead horses.”

“Not to mention a destroyed ranch.” Ray added.

I looked to Gerard, he was frowning in thought as he paced around the body. Patrick and Bob started speculating various scenarios like the mutant storming through the ranch and killing everything – it would explain some of the damage and also the death but not the mutant’s death itself.

Pete nudged my arm, nodding towards the mountains we were heading towards. “You think the rest of the places we’re going to search are like this?”

I shrugged. “I hope not. One ranch mysteriously destroyed is one thing…”

“More would be unsettling to say the least.”

Gerard stopped pacing, we all looked to him for his conclusion. “It’s been shot. The body we found had defensive wounds – if they had tried to shoot it then we would’ve found the gun by now.” He explained. “Now the cause of death is still somewhat a mystery but judging by the gunshot wounds…we’re not alone out here.”

“So…what you’re saying is that there’s another group around?” Mikey asked.

“Not necessarily. It could’ve just been a lone survivor however it’s more likely there were a few of them as it’s taken all of us to take down one mutant before.”

“Thugs or soldiers though?” Patrick asked. “If they were thugs then we might have to prepare for an ambush the further north we go. They don’t tend to want to reason with large groups…as we’ve experienced before.”

We all stared at the mutant’s body, Gerard beckoned Ray to follow him alone – I could only assume to revise the plan to go north. The rest of us went back to our original task of scavenging, we were aware that the day was drawing to a close and we still had to set up camp and it was a feeling that was widespread throughout the group.

I had just cleared my third stable, with little more than some duct tape to show for it, when I came across another scavenger. He startled when I dropped down off the roof next to him.

“Jesus Christ.” He whispered, running his hands through his long black hair, it partially covered his eyes which properly only further limited his vision. “Didn’t see you there.”

I chuckled. “Sorry man.” I apologised, giving him the once over. “Aren’t you a little young to be out here with us?”

He shrugged. “Alex said they needed everyone who was able to move quickly and quietly, especially as most of the fighters are either injured or now scouting the area.” He told me as we searched my fourth stable of the day.

“So what’s your name?” I asked, trying to make conversation.

“Jack, from Baltimore.” He replied. “You’re Frank from New Jersey.”

I snorted. “Yeah, Frank the psychotic mutant killer.” I remarked, the nickname had been tossed around after the battle once a lot of the fighters saw me take down the mutants with Pete. I didn’t mind it really but I wasn’t over-the-moon about it either.

“The one dating Mikey Way?”

I turned to him with a puzzled expression. “How…”

He smiled. “It’s not common knowledge but a few of us have picked up on it.” He told me. “Some of us have seen a few glimpses of you two being over-friendly with each other.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry though! I mean a lot of people think Alex and I are the same…I don’t mind it.” He seemed to regret bringing it up now, then again I was supposedly psychotic.

“Hey…calm down.” I reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not mad, just surprised that people have noticed that’s all.”

He nodded, a little shook up but still reasonably calm. We set off to find some of the others and find out what the next plan of attack was.

**~***~**

As much as they hated to say so, Gerard and Ray declared that we’d be staying on the ranch for the night. The decision was met with mixed reactions but they assured everyone that we’d be staying in the buildings most structurally sound and there would be a night guard posted. I was indifferent, I knew our chances here would be better than another half an hour away – who or whatever came through here wasn’t going to come back anytime soon.

Another choice that was questionable was the one to cook the dead horses for dinner. A few members of the group refused to eat it and resulted to their own supplies but the majority went along with Ray’s philosophy that the horses were torn apart – not infected – and cooking them thoroughly would make them edible. I was chosen to help supervise the cooking process due to my wealth of knowledge from survival shows, Bob and Patrick gave second opinions and Gerard actually took the first bite; mainly to lead by example.

When Gerard had not dropped dead or shown any signs of illness the rest of the group seemed more willing to comply. Once everyone had eaten and the temporary sleeping setup had been constructed the matter of who was going to be on guard duty came up – the scouts refused based on the fact they had been doing it all afternoon and most of the scavengers were reluctant to volunteer.

“Frank and I will do it.” Mikey suggested to Gerard. “We’ve done it enough times.”

“I’d feel more comfortable with four of you on duty…” Gerard murmured.

“We can stay up a bit longer.” A voice piped up. Jack was sat with another teenage boy, he seemed to know Gerard as he nodded towards Jack. “We’re decent at it.”

“Alright Alex. You can watch over the ranch whilst these two keep an eye on the surrounding area.” Gerard told them. “Might wanna get a move on with the sun setting quickly.”

They both nodded and clambered on top of the rubble to get a better view of the make-shift camp. Mikey took my hand and led me in the opposite direction – on top of the last building in the area – so we could keep watch. We had a flashlight with us and two handguns as we sat on the roof of what used to be a barn, feet dangling off the edge and fingers intertwined.

“So how long should we stay up here?” I asked him, aware that we were already pretty tired.

“Dunno…until we’re about to fall asleep?” he replied, shooting me a smile. “Just a thought.”

“We’re no good to them asleep I guess.” I sighed.

We sat in silence for a while, it was a cold night so we huddled together for warmth. There was little noise coming from the camp – most of the group had drifted to sleep quickly and the few who were still awake only spoke in hushed tones. I could hear Jack’s excited chatter a few buildings away but it was quiet enough to not make out any words. My attention went back to the darkening horizon in front of us, the snow was settled and undisturbed as far as I could tell so whoever attacked the ranch had come from the west or east. Mikey hummed lightly as he stroked my hand in his.

“You ever think about what you wanted to do with your life before this happened?” I asked.

“Not really…I kinda made myself forget y’know?” he replied. “The memories of the past could be the death of us.”

“I suppose the world isn’t going to go back to then…”

“At the same time it wouldn’t hurt to keep some of the values. Keep our humanity and shit.”

“Yeah ain’t that how it always goes tits up? Everyone forgets their humanity and abandon their morals…”

He chuckled slightly. “Well under Gee’s leadership I don’t think we’re gonna abandon any morals…he’ll run a tight ship and take no shit but at least we’ll stay human.”

As the darkness properly set in I wondered how exactly we were gonna be able to see anything but then I realised that we’d be relying on our hearing rather than our sight. I fought to keep myself from shivering, walking in this weather wasn’t so bad but sitting still was a lot harder. Mikey breathed on his hands and rubbed them together, it was a wonder we didn’t just start a fire up here – at least we’d have light as well as warmth.

“Why is it so fucking cold…” He complained.

“Cause the climate’s all fucked up.” I remarked. “Or that’s what Bob reckons.”

“Remind me to demand more clothes next time.”

“I’ll demand your clothes in a minute.” I sulked, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm.

He laughed loudly. “ _Wow_ Frank that was a shit one.”

“I wasn’t even trying to be sexual, idiot. I’m fucking freezing.”

He laughed again, shaking his head as he breathed on his hands again. We sat in silence for a while, listening for any strange sounds, all we could hear were the murmurings from Jack and Alex and the crackle of the small campfire down below. It was too quiet.

“It’s strange that the horses are being so…silent.” I mused.

“Maybe they’re unsettled? We’re in a destroyed ranch, they probably sense whatever happened here…”

“Even so, don’t you think it’s too quiet?” I pressed, hazarding a glance towards him in the dim light.

“A deathly silence?” he murmured. “I suppose…but there’s nothing we can really do.”

“Maybe it’s not just the horses who are unsettled.” I remarked.

He shot me a quizzical look but shrugged, we were both tired and he probably just chalked my remarks up to fatigue. I said nothing else as we settled down for another few hours of watching the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm leaving for a 2 week vacation to America on the 4th July so I'm going to try and either update before I go or schedule an update for sometime during my vacation.  
> I've had a whirlwind few weeks and I've barely been emotionally stable enough to write decently so yeah...  
> The ending for this is still very much undecided, I can't decide how to end it basically and I'm just trying to tie up loose ends...  
> even this a/n is poorly written...


	33. Chapter 33

**Thirty-three**

**Gerard**

We broke camp quickly the next morning, I was anxious to not only get away from the ranch but also to continue north and maybe figure out what the hell was happening. I sent Pete ahead again, Frank seemed on edge and the rest of group were a mixture of scared and cautious. When Pete failed to report back to us after a reasonable amount of time I called for the spare horse, leaving Ray in charge as I broke away from the convoy. Mikey questioned why I was going and not sending another guard, I told him that I was going to be the one putting my life on the line here and not a reluctant soldier.

The second set of hoof prints should’ve been all the warning I needed. I had followed Pete’s horse tracks for a while before another set seemed to join his, there was a sense that it wasn’t hostile but I didn’t trust that sense whatsoever. I urged my horse to follow them, checking how far the convoy was behind me every few minutes. The chill in the air was harsher the further north we pushed, the tracks carried on in front of me and I was getting increasingly more worried about Pete’s condition.

A glimpse of something half submerged in the snow ahead spurred a response from me, I shot forward and practically catapulted myself off the horse, landing next to the dead horse. I frantically scanned the area for any sign of Pete or whoever he had encountered. There was no doubt about it that this was the horse I had sent him out with that morning.

“Shit…” I cursed when I realised that Pete had probably been captured by someone or something. The lack of blood leading away from the scene gave me hope that he was alive and not injured but the severity of the situation was still fresh in my mind. My horse was pulling away from my grasp, I fought to keep her with me until the convoy caught up. Frank had been out front and spotted me first – rushing through the snow to get ahead of the main group.

“What’s happened?” he asked, shooting a glance behind him.

“Pete’s gone.” I told him, my voice shaking slightly. “I-I don’t know. His horse is dead, looks like a knife wound judging by the blood staining the snow.”

“There’s another set of tracks…” Frank commented. “So there was someone or something else?”

“I’m guessing he’s been kidnapped…captured…whatever…” I murmured, trying to figure out how we didn’t notice this sooner. Pete had always stayed within sight, to think that we didn’t notice that he had first gone beyond our range and second disappeared entirely made me question my leadership.

I should’ve kept an eye on him. I should’ve let the others worry about the group and I should’ve been with him. I should’ve had his back.

“Yo Gee, focus.” Ray snapped his fingers in front of my face. The group had stopped a few feet away, Ray and Patrick had come forward to investigate what was occurring.

“Oh god Pete’s missing.” I blabbed, Patrick frowned, staring at the dead horse in thought with wide eyes.

“Calm down Gee.” Ray told me, he turned to Frank and ordered him to take my horse and follow the tracks. The rear scout had ridden up to us and was ordered to follow Frank at a distance – to report to us if anything happened.  We gathered ourselves and pushed forwards, the group murmuring amongst themselves as they passed the carcass of Pete’s horse.

I hated myself for letting this happen, Ray and Bob tried to convince me that there was nothing I could’ve done but it wasn’t working. Patrick had been quiet, opting to walk up front with Mikey, I hated myself for failing him after all this time. I felt like a fake leader, someone who only pretended to know what they were doing.

**~***~**

Frank hadn’t had much luck, the tracks veered off left and right indicating a struggle but there had been no sign of Pete or his attacker. I was beside myself at this point, sinking deeper and deeper into the ‘what ifs’ that led to this situation. Ray gave me helpless glances as we pressed on, there was little else to do without knowing what was in store for us.

As the sun set the call on whether or not to continue through the night came up. I hadn’t spoken a word to anyone so Ray took it all in his stride and divided the group into more manageable task forces; one group would set up camp, another would sort out food, the third would keep watch and the final group – which included Mikey, Bob, Patrick and Frank – would review the next move.

It was almost decided for me that I was no longer giving orders. It was no surprise really, just when things were beginning to look up and become somewhat normal, it all came crashing down. Ray was muttering to Mikey and pointing to the map in the light of the campfire, Patrick seemed to be caught between being actively involved in Pete’s recovery and sitting in silent thought, Bob would interrupt the debate occasionally with reasons for the plan failing or the speculation being wrong.

Frank kept staring at me. Not in a disbelieving or horrific way, more of a pitiful or empathetic way. I avoided his gaze, biting my quivering lip as I ran through all the choices leading up to Pete’s disappearance. I knew I should’ve sent another scout after him. I squeezed my eyes shut to ward off the tears threatening to fall.

A hand came down on my cheek, harsh and quick, it stung as I looked up at who it belonged to. Frank’s stern face stared back at me, the others looked back and forth between us in shock but said nothing. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

“Snap out of it.” Frank commanded, hands clenching into fists as they rested by his sides. “Sulking and brooding won’t bring him back.”

“Frank--” Mikey began but was cut off.

“Gerard, you call yourself our leader but you’re sat here too busy hating yourself to even suggest a plan of action. I get you blame yourself but fucking _do something_ with that hatred!” Frank snapped. “You were the one who told Pete and I that we had to put aside our feelings to survive in the first place, follow your own damn orders.”

By now we had an audience, it wasn’t a great feeling to be chewed out like this by someone like Frank. However, it was exactly that reason that he did it, he knew I’d respond to brute force especially by someone in my inner circle. I was caught between glaring at him and just breaking down in tears. He was right after all; I called myself a leader but had fucked up so badly.

“I-I…” I uttered, unable to form a word in reply.

“Come on Gerard!” Frank demanded, it was clear to me this was not the same timid Frank that I once knew, this Frank had the guts to yell at his lover’s brother for being an idiot. This Frank knew that the threat of dying out here was all too real now.

“ _Fuck_ it!” I shouted back, scrambling to my feet. “I’m not a fucking leader! I’m just as terrified as any of you!” I looked around the crowds gathered. “I’m not going to pretend that I’m not scared to death right now. Pete’s fucking gone because of my stupid mistake and I don’t want to think about what’s happened to him, but Bryce and Jenna must have some fucked up belief in me otherwise I wouldn’t be stood here with you all.”

Frank stepped back slightly, the faintest trace of a smile on his face.

“Now I fucked up. There’s no way for me to forgive myself let alone ask forgiveness from any of you.” I looked to Patrick. “So I’ll say this now, if you don’t want to be here with me now, if you don’t want to search for Pete and endanger yourselves further then you have my permission to head home. I won’t judge or punish you for it.”

A small murmur broke out in the group.

“But I’m staying out here. I’m going to find Pete so help me god. It’s my fault he’s gone so I’m going to fucking find him.”

The silence hung in the air. I turned away from the group and walked to the edge of camp, Mikey followed me and sat next to me in the snow. He draped an arm around me and pulled me gently into a hug. I cried. He held me as I sobbed, emotionally drained.

“You’re a good leader.” He said. I shook my head. “You are. You’ve just made a brave call. You just told them that you’re scared but you’re also gonna keep going because you feel responsible. You’re taking responsibility for your actions but you’ve also given them the choice to back out if they want to. To me that’s something a good leader should do.”

I laughed, it was a sarcastic one but still a laugh.

“And you know that the guys will stay with you. We got this far together and there’s no way we’d abandon Pete or you out here.”

I curled into my brother’s hold, for all the shit we’d been through there was still some sense of comradeship. It was insanity to consider trekking through the wilderness as the snow began to fall again but we did. The next day half the group had packed up and headed back to base. The remaining half all stood defiantly in front of me, including Alex and Jack.

“We’re sticking with you Gee.” Jack told me, brushing away the snow flurries that danced in front of his face. “We all are.”

The group nodded, I nearly burst into tears again but I bit my cheek and nodded in return. “Then let’s get a fucking move on.” I declared, helping Mikey get onto one of the horses. “Pete needs us now more than ever.”

Patrick smiled briefly at me before mounting the other horse, I hadn’t spoken to him much about his feelings on this development but from that simple gesture I guessed that he was worried but still had some faith in me. We set off quickly, a sense of purpose was with us now. I strode through the snow as fast as it would allow, Frank and Ray walked beside me with Bob bringing up the rear of the group. We were racing against the clock now as the horse tracks were getting covered by the new snow.

Mikey and Patrick rode ahead, returning in shifts to report on their progress. A mountain loomed in the low hanging cloud. I didn’t really want to go towards it but the tracks were leading us there and for Pete’s sake I was going to have to go against my gut. The fact we hadn’t seen any other signs of life other than these tracks was worrying, there had been no other houses, no ranches, no wildlife. Ray frowned at the map as the flurries turned into a small blizzard.

“Gee I don’t know where we are.” He told me over the wind.

Frank and I exchanged glances. “Well…we’re near a mountain, does that help?” Frank asked.

“Not really.”

“Gerard!” Mikey’s voice called through the wind. “Gerard!”

The horse stopped just in front of us, my brother’s confused and panicked face was just as pale as the snow. “What Mikey?”

“We found them.”

“Them?”

“The bastards that have Pete.”

Frank snapped into action, unsheathing his blades. “Show us.”

“No, you can’t do that.” Mikey babbled. “They have guns.”

“You’re not making much sense, where’s Patrick?” Ray asked.

“Just follow me.”

He led us through the blizzard, closer to the mountain, an uneasy feeling rose inside my chest. Patrick had stopped just a few feet in front of us, once we got to him I saw what we were up against. It looked just like a small ranch at first glance, the barbed wire on top of the fence begged to differ. I made out the remains of people still caught on the metal barbs, it made my stomach turn.

“What…” Frank uttered.

“Thugs? No…this is too much for simple thugs.” Ray mused.

“Military?” I heard myself ask.

“Pete’s in there.” Mikey told us. “I rode up to the gate, the tracks disappear in there.”

We stood in silence. There was no way we’d be able to take on the military. There were many reasons for them kidnapping Pete; intelligence gathering, threat, hostage, the list could go on. The only thing I knew for certain was that his voice would haunt my nightmares as the second person I could not save, Helena being the first. After her death I swore to myself I wouldn’t leave anyone behind again and even if my judgement was fucked up, even if I was going through mood swings and existential crisis’, I was not about to leave Pete in there.

“Alex, Jack, take the horses and ride to base. I don’t care how you do it just get there as fast as you can push them.” They stared at me in disbelief. “Tell Bryce that we need every fighter. Tell her that Pete’s been captured and we need to raise a task force to get him.”

“Are we sure they’re hostile Gee?” Frank asked. “I mean we haven’t approached them to ask who they are or what they want.”

“Trust no-one out here Frank. They would’ve known about the group following Pete, they knew we’d arrive soon enough.” Ray replied.

“But maybe they didn’t trust us?”

Mikey shrugged, riding up to the gate again, I walked with him, ignoring Frank and Ray debating. We halted at the gate, wooden but covered in barbed wire so that opening it would result in injury. I called out for someone, the blizzard had let up slightly but it was freezing still.

“I command you to open this gate!” I shouted with the wind.

A low chuckle came from the shadows on the other side. “A command you say? From a teenager?”

“Where is our friend?” Mikey responded.

“The runt? He’s in protective custody. Now if you were wise then you would return from whatever shithole you came from and forget about him.”

“What is this place? Is it military or not?” I pressed, ignoring the slight threat.

“Just leave the runt, he’s useless to you anyway.” The voice replied. The shuffling of feet in the snow indicated that they were leaving now. I beckoned Mikey to follow me back to the others, we told them what we had heard and as predicted, none of them were happy.

“Well we better set up camp to wait for the cavalry.” Bob murmured. “And a watch to go with it – I sure as hell don’t trust them.”

We all nodded, the group were in agreement that come hell or high water we’d get Pete out of there. It was clear that he had made quite a few friends within the base judging by how many had stayed behind. Regardless, his inner circle was here and we were gonna bust him out one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update!   
> The internet in Washington DC can be a bit patchy but I was determined to update before completely losing access for 2 days.  
> No idea when the next one will be up but thank you for being patient!~


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update, between going on vacation and getting struck down by severe jetlag there's been little time to write properly (apparently people wanted to talk to me as soon as I logged onto my laptop after 2 weeks of being away)  
> So yeah, stuff happens and my sleep schedule is fucked up.

**Thirty-Four**

**Frank**

I hate waiting. Usually I hid it well with quick-witted comments and half-hearted jokes but today there were neither of those being uttered. Alex and Jack had left as soon as Gerard ordered them to, the rest of us set up camp out of sight of the strange base, Bob was in charge of guard duty with Pete’s forced absence, Ray and Patrick studied the map for any information on the area that would be advantageous to our situation, Gerard bustled about within the group trying to keep morale high. This left Mikey and I on watch duty again. We huddled together in the snow just outside camp, a tiny fire beside us more as a beacon for our comrades than a source of warmth.

“So what do you think about all this?” he asked me, resting his head on my shoulder. “You usually have more than your fair share of things to say about everything.”

“You make me sound like some old lady who spies on her neighbours.” I remarked with a shrug. “I dunno, this is all very...weird. Like, we’ve been on a rollercoaster from day one and as soon as things start working out, everything goes back to shit – coincidentally Pete being the one to cause it.”

“I don’t think he asked to be kidnapped Frank.”

“Who’s to know?”

“You don’t still hold a grudge against him?”

“No...I just...me and him are on alright terms. But it had to be him didn’t it?”

Mikey said nothing, in all the chaos and all the heartache of losing those close to us he had become almost stoic and it scared me a lot. I was thankful that there wasn’t any alcohol to hand, both the Way brothers had a habit of going to it in times of great stress.

“I’m sorry. I keep forgetting that he’s one of your closest friends.” I murmured. “I guess I just want someone to blame and it’s easier to blame him as I don’t know him as well as the others.”

“I’d wish you’d stop trying to blame everyone...what you did to Gerard was harsh. It was needed but it was also a bit extreme.” He said quietly. “Why must there be one person solely to blame?”

I shrugged, I didn’t have an answer to that question. The night drew in, it was a clear night for once. With the lack of light pollution we could see the stars dotted throughout the sky, with the clear sky came the chill. Mikey pressed himself closer to me, I hugged him tightly and kissed his temple.

**~***~**

If it took us two days to get to our current position then it would take Alex and Jack around the same to get back to base, _then_ it would take god knows how long for reinforcements to reach us. We were looking at attempting to survive for a week on minimal supplies. On the bright side, the snow had stopped falling and the clear skies seemed to indicate that the worst was over for now.

“So do we even have enough food?” one of the soldiers asked. “Cause we burned through most of it before even getting here.”

Patrick studied the contents of the bag that had been carrying most of the food. “If we ration it like crazy, possibly.”  

“And what would that mean? We’d be going hungry from now until then?”

Gerard looked uncertainly to Patrick who simply nodded. It was a hard truth to accept but in Gerard’s eyes they had all been given the chance to turn back and they chose to stay with us so it was hardly his _fault_ that they were so displeased with the idea of being put on wartime rations.

“So how are we meant to take on a base like that if we’re half starved to death?”

This wasn’t good, at this rate there’d be a mutiny. I stepped up to the soldier who was complaining, he wasn’t much taller than me but he was very inexperienced compared to the hell I had lived through. He gave me a long hard stare but took a step back once I refused to move.

“Gerard is doing his best with what he’s got. You had your chance to turn back and go to base but you chose to stay with us – knowing the current supply level – so you really have no cause to complain. Feel free to turn back now, although we won’t be giving you any supplies as it would put us in a bigger crisis.” I spoke in a low tone to him, watching his bravado melt away. “We’ve lived through worse than this, we know a thing or two about surviving against the odds. After all, we come from New Jersey and it ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

A heavy silence hung in the air, the soldier muttered an apology before sulking into the crowd. Ray came up behind me and patted my shoulder, we huddled around the fire. A lot of the men and women around us were beginning to coin us as ‘the inner circle’ even though Gerard protested against it. Regardless, we sat there with the flames popping and crackling the few bits of firewood we could find.

“This is a problem though.” Mikey murmured. “The lack of food.”

“And I’m sure the base hasn’t exactly forgotten about us.” Ray added.

“So we’re sitting ducks until Alex and Jack get back.” Patrick finalised.

Gerard sighed heavily, this was taking a toll on him more than anyone. A few murmurings had been heard and the question of his leadership was becoming apparent. The night was drawing in quickly, I wasn’t on watch tonight but the harsh reality was sinking in and something had to be done. When I was sure that Gerard and Ray were asleep I crawled out of the tent to find Patrick, the two of us hadn’t spoken much since I accused Pete of being infected back when we were in the Nevada desert – I didn’t really blame him.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked quietly. He shrugged and continued watching the dark horizon. “I’m going to get Pete back.” I told him.

“Of course you are.” He uttered, wrapping his arms around him.

“Patrick I’m sorry about all those things I’ve said, maybe I deserve to be dead for it all.”

“Frank, quit apologising for shit that means nothing now. He’s not even here and you’re not gonna save him single-handedly.”

It gave me a small idea, it was almost suicidal but it was an idea.

“Maybe I won’t but I’m gonna try.”

He snorted and shook his head. “You’re fucking crazy Frank. I now know why Pete was so against you and Mikey being a couple, you’re gonna get him killed one day.”

I bit my lip and trudged back through the snow. I wanted to wake Mikey up but I knew instantly he’d tell me I was crazy and beg me not to do it. I caught sight of the military base over the hill, the lights were out but there was no telling what was lurking on the other side of the fence. After sneaking back into the tent and packing a small bag of supplies, taking as little food as possible so the others wouldn’t suffer, I carefully made my way away from camp.

I got a few paces away from the last tent before I was taken down into the snow.

“Where do you think you’re going Iero?” Bob uttered, picking me out of the snow with a rough grasp.

“To get Pete back.” I told him, giving him a long hard stare. “I fucking hate him for how he treated me but something inside of me tells me that I have to save his god damn ass before we all freeze out here.”

Bob stared back, gripping my shoulder. “You haven’t told the others I’m guessing?”

“They’d only worry and tell me I’m insane.”

“Well you can’t argue with that…” he sighed. “You’re a tough little shit Frank but you need your head examined if you think I’m letting you go in there alone.”

I gave him a small smile and nodded. He told me to wait whilst he got some supplies, I took a deep breath and thought about why on earth I was doing this for someone who wanted me dead a few months ago. All the shit we had been through, the screaming in the middle of the night, the blood stained clothes, the bodies of friend and foe…somehow through all that, even though we never said it out loud, Pete and I had forgiven each other. That last bloodbath outside base where Will died, that had been the final piece, the two of us had saved countless others from the mutated sons of bitches that could’ve killed them all. Maybe I didn’t consider him a brother like Ray and Gerard, but I wasn’t about to sit here for a week whilst god knew what happened to him. When Bob returned we started the slow walk towards the base. It was cold and I was going to ask Bob why he was determined to come with me but thought better of it, Bob had many reasons for doing things and a lot of the time he didn’t want to talk about them and I respected that.

The lights on the base were still out, we huddled in the snow amongst some rocks and watched for a while, it seemed pretty lifeless which was creepy as hell. I looked to Bob who seemed deep in thought in the dusk. He gestured to the entrance that we hadn’t seen when we originally arrived, it appeared to be a lesser used gate and as a result was less likely to be guarded.

It was rusted so opening it was going to create unwanted noise. I got Bob to boost me up so I could climb over and find a way to break the fencing from the other side. With a little bit of searching I found some bolt cutters and set to work on the chain-link fence, it created less noise than the gate would’ve and only delayed us slightly. We set about searching the base in stealth mode, I had bought both my knives and Bob had the medieval breadknife which no-one had figured out the name for yet.

I picked the lock of the first door we came to, it opened easily and revealed a dark corridor, it seemed that this place was quiet tonight and that honestly scared me a little.

“Come on then.” Bob whispered. “I’ll go first and you give me backup.”

I grunted, somewhat thankful that Bob had more balls than I did. We crept down the hallway which took us into the network of stairwells each as deserted and dark as the one before it. I felt very isolated here and was very thankful that Bob had picked up two flashlights.

“Where is everyone?” I breathed as we paused at a crossroad of hallways.

“Good question…hopefully they’re already dead.”

“That’s rather morbid of you…”

“It would make this whole thing easier.”

We saw signs for the control room, with little else to go on we decided to follow them. There were no lights on throughout the entire base except for one flickering lightbulb above a door.

“You think this is it?” I whispered.

Bob turned his flashlight off, I did the same as we eased the door open. The room was dimly lit with the glow of computer screens, how it was powered was beyond me but the blood spatter on them was what drew my attention even more.

“Well…I guess we know why everything’s so quiet…” I uttered, casting the light over the panels. It reminded me of _Outlast_.

“Question is what the hell happened?” Bob replied, walking over and peering through the window that the control panels were pressed up against. “There’s a room down there…maybe an aircraft hangar?”

“I see no bodies…so maybe they’re down there…”

After a bit of searching we found a second door which lead out to a metal catwalk, I shone my flashlight down below, it caught on some objects covered in tarp that looked like crates but I couldn’t be sure. We got to the other end and carefully made out way down the steps, our footsteps echoing throughout the room. It smelt stale but there was a faint odour lurking from somewhere in the darkness which was eerily familiar.

“Blood probably.” I uttered more to myself than Bob. “But maybe not.”

“Where the fuck is everyone?” Bob growled slightly. “We’ve been freezing our asses off out there whilst this place has been fucking empty?”

“Calm down…” I warned. “They might be here…”

We explored the room which wasn’t that large, the tarp was covering piles of crates and boxes but we didn’t have the time to investigate further. Despite instinct telling us to not go towards the smell of blood, we crept towards the door. It was unlocked, the handle turned easily and it opened without a sound. We held our breath and listened for life, there was a low breathing coming from inside the room and the sound of shuffling footsteps.

I gripped my blades and nodded to Bob, he shone the light inside long enough for me to see the stumbling form of a soldier clearly infected which I darted towards quickly, striking it in the torso with enough force to make it fall to the ground and give Bob time to severe its neck. There was no-one else in the room but there was an overwhelming stench of blood and death.

“Well then…this reminds me of that fucked up chamber underneath the base.” Bob sighed.

“What?”

“When we got split up from you remember? They made us walk through some vault of dead bodies, it stank like fuck and…yeah. Traumatised most people it seems. I know Gee put a stop to it once he took charge, anyway the smell here reminds me of it.” He explained.

“So you’re saying there’s a pile of bodies nearby then?” I murmured, checking the walks for doors and discovered none.

“Maybe. We should hurry up though.”

It was on our fourth search of the room that we found a trap door, the stench emanated from wherever the depths began but neither of us could see just what awaited us if we were to jump. Evening shining the flashlight yielded little information.

“Fuck it.” I snarled, sliding myself to the edge of the opening. “I’ll go first, be prepared to jump as soon as I yell for you okay?”

Bob nodded, I inhaled deeply before dropping down to the floor below, it was stone, that I was certain of. I shone the light around, it was a small room and was met with a horrific sight; the fresh bloodied bodies of those who had protected this base were stacked up against the far wall. The sight made me nearly vomit right there but pure stubbornness helped me keep it down. What the fuck was going on? A question I had asked myself far too often these past few months.

“Is it bad that I’m not even surprised anymore?” I asked Bob as he took in the sight after jumping down through the opening.

“Desensitised? Me too.” He grumbled. “What sick fucker stacked them up though?”

I shrugged and looked around the small area, more doors came into view with the flashlight, one was locked and seemed to have a huge pressure behind it whilst the other opened easily. I exhaled and nodded for Bob to go first again, taking one last look at the bodies before following him down another hallway. As we walked in silence I wiped my bloodied knives, I missed Mikey and didn’t want to think how worried he was. The bravado I had walked in here with was slipping, I knew the others would be mad at us for leaving in the middle of the night but if it meant we save Pete then I didn’t care. Maybe it would finally put this stupid feud to rest and we could get on with our lives.

“Left or right?” Bob asked.

I stepped around him, neither hallway looked appealing but I chose to go right, taking the lead as I began walking. The stench of blood had faded but it left me feeling slightly apprehensive, there had been little sign of Pete’s existence here and it was going to be dawn in a few hours. I didn’t know what it was but I knew that I had to find him before then.

**~***~**

We had been wondering the hallways for a while, taking it in turns to take the lead. There had been one or two infected which we dealt with quickly but the more of the base we explored the more uneasy I was becoming.

“What would they even do with him?” Bob asked, trying to break the heavy silence that dwelled here.

“Mikey said they referred to him as ‘the runt’ and that he was in some weird protective custody…” I replied, shining my flashlight down another hallway. “I don’t know really, but I’ll be damned if I’m leaving here without him.”

“…so why the change of heart? I’ve heard from Ray that the two of you have tried to kill each other a few times. Why are you suddenly defying orders and putting your life in danger for him?”

I stared at the floor as I walked in front of him. “He’s Mikey’s best friend, he was there for him when no-one else figured out he was gay. He’s Patrick’s last hope and last reminder of the past, he’s one of the best fighter’s I’ve seen throughout this…” I told Bob, noticing the blood on the floor and following it up a flight of stairs. “I feel obliged to save his ass, maybe it’ll prove to him that I’m serious when I say I’ll do anything to keep Mikey from getting hurt.”

“Hurt in the emotional sense?”

“Yeah…he’s lost so many people…we all have but I’m just making sure he doesn’t lose anyone else.”

“I see…”

We had ended up in another control room of sorts, it was less advanced than the other but what struck me was that the screens were lit up with a live camera feed, it was black and white like typical security cameras, they were showing various rooms I didn’t recognise.

“This place must be built into a fucking mountain…” I cussed.

“What’s that?” Bob pointed to one of the screens, the picture was fuzzy but showed a room much like the storeroom we jumped though the trap door from. “There’s a chair…or something.”

I looked closer, there was a chair placed just off the center of the room and there seemed to be something or someone sat in it…

“Pete?” I uttered, the figure was stationary so he could’ve passed out or something. “We need to find this room.” I told Bob, frantically looking around for a map or diagram or just anything that could tell us where he was.

The room was a mess before we started throwing files and notepads around, the walls yielded nothing but military orders and newspaper clippings about the outbreak of the ‘mystery virus’. Bob pulled open the drawers on the desks holding the computer screens, even more paper was thrown on to the floor as he rummaged through. Eventually we found an old blueprint of the building from its original construction.

“oh my god this is impossible to figure out.” I sighed, tracing lines that meant next to nothing. “They didn’t fucking label the all the rooms…”

“Calm down.” Bob murmured, studying the map harder, I looked back at the screen where the figure had slumped forwards. It meant whoever they were – they were alive. “Okay, I think I got it.” He declared as beckoned me to follow him.

More hallways and storerooms passed, Bob would pause every few moments and check a wall sign that meant nothing to me. The flashlights were gonna be running low on batteries soon as we hadn’t turned them off since entering the building, it gave me another reason to want to get the hell out of here soon.

“Turn left at the end and we should be there.” Bob told me, I sprinted down the hallway and nearly slipped as I rounded the corner. Bob yelled after me to wait up but I barrelled down the next hallway towards the door.

I threw the door open and shone the light in, the chair and person were directly across the room but everything about this room screamed ‘video game ambush’. Bob caught up and slapped the back of my head in annoyance.

“The whole point of me coming with you was to make sure you didn’t do stupid shit.” He hissed, taking in the room in front of us.

It was another storeroom; crates covered in tarp, forklifts parked next to an elevator that lead god knows where, eerie catwalks above us and even the health and safety signs nailed to the walls and girders supporting the catwalks. The air was cold and a few of the windows were blown out, letting the winter chill in.

“Slowly.” Bob whispered, stepping forward with caution. There were many shadows and corners for things to be lurking so I held my tongue and followed, checking behind us as we crossed the space. The windows were letting in a little bit of moonlight but it wasn’t enough to give us comfort, it actually put me more on edge.

We crossed without incident, our footsteps echoing slightly as we halted at the chair, Bob shone his light on the person’s face as I carefully tilted it upwards. It was Pete. I stopped myself shouting at him to wake up – remembering that we were in a hostile place where anything could happen – and shook him gently.

“Pete…” I whispered, checking his pulse. He was alive at least despite the blood dried on his lip and nose. He was tied to the chair with rope and tape, getting him out whilst unconscious was going to require both of us but it would leave us unprotected.

“Can you get his legs free?” I asked Bob, unsheathing my knife to cut Pete’s hands free.

“Sure, keep an ear out for anything out of place.”

I took a second to briefly check that Pete wasn’t hooked up to any death trap from _SAW_ before continuing to battle the duct tape, there really was a reason that we were told it could fix anything. The rope came away easily from his wrists and where it had been tied around his torso, Bob got his legs free quickly so we could move him to the floor and try to wake him up.

“He’s breathing so we don’t need to do CPR…” I declared. “He’s just…asleep?”

“I could carry him out…but if he’s been drugged then taking him outside may not be the best idea.”

I gave Pete’s face a somewhat light slap, there was no response. I hit him a few more times before shaking my head, he must’ve been drugged or be severely dehydrated and passed out. I gave Bob a hopeless glance, there was nothing else we could do but carry him out.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was an idiot and lost my memory stick with the entire fic saved on.  
> I ended up using a different piece of software to write this chapter and turns out it's actually pretty good in my opinion however I have no idea how much it's gonna fuck up the overall formatting - so sorry if it looks weird.

**Chapter Thirty-Five  
Gerard**

Dawn was just breaking when I was shaken violently from my sleep, Patrick looked at me with wide eyes and gestured for me to follow him outside. I nodded sleepily and carefully moved around Ray and Mikey who were still asleep, the light snoring undisturbed by Patrick's actions. When we got outside the cold air made me shiver, I hadn't bothered with a jacket as I assumed this would only take a minute or two.

"I fucked up." He blurted out, I raised an eyebrow in confusion and waved my hand for him to continue. He babbled something about Frank trying to apologise for being a difficult little shit - my words not his - and how he had brushed Frank off because he was in a bad mood with the lack of food and Pete being missing. Frank had apparently mentioned going to save Pete by himself and that was the last anyone had seen of him for the rest of the night.

I rubbed my eyes, none of this really seemed serious to me. "He probably went to get firewood or something."

"Gerard take it seriously!" Patrick suddenly snapped, tears were forming in his eyes as he clenched his fists. "I think Frank's gone off to try and single-handedly save Pete because I didn't forgive him."

I ran a hand through my straggly hair, Frank was causing me a lot of problems but at the same time I couldn't be mad at him for it. The base seemed a little 'off' from when I last looked at it, maybe Frank _had_ gone off on a suicidal mission, my gut knew it wasn't beyond the bounds of possibility - heck when Frank's involved nothing is impossible.

"Okay, check with the other person on guard, they may have spotted something and not thought it was important." I instructed, my head slowly shrugging off the last remnants of sleep. "I'm gonna let Mikey know and I'll come and find you in a few minutes."

"Got it Gee."

"Oh, and don't let this spread around. People will talk and some might think Frank's abandoned us or something equally as stupid."

He nodded and set off to find the north watch, I turned around and sighed heavily before opening the tent and slipping back inside. Mikey and Ray both woke up fairly quickly once I shook them. They both listened to me recount what Patrick had told me, Ray scratched the stubble growing on his chin and clicked his tongue, Mikey said nothing.

"So he just left?" Ray asked.

"Seems like it, did he mention anything to you?" I turned to my little brother.

"No. Last I saw of him was after dinner, he said he was gonna go and talk to Patrick about something and I haven't seen him since." Mikey replied, not showing any emotion. "I assumed he was on watch duty or some shit."

This wasn't like Frank, sure he wondered off a lot but not without saying anything to Mikey. What also unsettled me was how stoic Mikey was being, since coming out to Frank he had been a lot happier and certainly more emotive. Maybe he felt somewhat betrayed right now? Regardless, I still had to figure out what to do about this situation.  
Mikey asked to be excused, citing that someone needed to help Bob make breakfast, I nodded and waved him out. I sighed again, there wasn't much to go on but it was obvious what Frank had done; he'd tried to reason with Patrick who shut him down immediately, probably still angry at him for being so confrontational with Pete. When Patrick remarked about him not being able to save Pete by himself it was like a red rag to a bull and without much thought Frank had gone.

"What do I do?" I asked Ray, the one who always has a plan and was definitely more fit to be a leader than I was.

"Let's consider our options." he said. "Assuming Frank went alone, I can't see him taking anyone with him unless they were adamant, there are two scenarios that could play out; the first is that he gets captured, the second is that he overpowers the inhabitants and gets his way to Pete."

"So if the first plays out then he's stuck there until we can save them both?" I concluded. "The second means that he'd have to single-handedly liberate the base _and_ get Pete out."

Ray hummed and drew circles on the floor of the tent with his finger. "If Pete's unable to move - for example, say he's injured - then would Frank be physically able to get him out alone?"

"Probably not...he lacks upper body strength. He can fight like a wounded bear but when it comes to lifting he's not the strongest by far." I mused, thinking about the times where I had seen him take down infected without much hesitation. "What if the base was attacked and is full of infected?"

Ray scratched his stubble again and frowned. "It would throw up different problems. Frank would be alone against them and it would make Pete's rescue difficult."

"So what do you propose we do?" I murmured. "I can't get the entire group to go in there."

"You take Mikey and Bob, I'll stay here with Patrick and govern in your absence."

I nodded, Bob would be able to make up for the lack of Ray definitely and it would mean I wouldn't have to be worried about Mikey's concentration. However as soon as we agreed on that plan my brother burst in with Patrick at his heels.

"Bob's gone." He told me. "The north guard said she saw the two of them heading towards the base but didn't see it as suspicious. She thought - like I did - that they were getting supplies from the forest."

Ray and I exchanged glances. This changed our speculations, if Bob was with Frank then they had a better chance of overcoming whatever was in the base and ultimately rescuing Pete. However it did throw a few other issues into the mix like why Bob didn't tell us they were going and whether or not there was any point going to help them at all.

"Of course we have to!" Mikey cried, Patrick and Ray had gone to sort out breakfast for the soldiers before anyone got suspicious, leaving the two of us to 'discuss' this privately.

"But we'd just be putting ourselves in danger, besides they can handle it." I tried to reason with him. It's not that I didn't _care_ it was that Bob and Frank were perfectly capable of looking after themselves. There was no reason for us to go too.

"I can't believe you Gerard! Self-preservation is suddenly more important than _Frank_? I understand you don't feel as strongly about him as I do but you could at least try to be a little less high and mighty cause you're in charge!" he cried. "Last I heard you were gonna protect us all, you were gonna keep us together. What the fuck happened to that?"

I didn't even realise what I had done until I felt my hand stinging afterwords. He looked at me with shocked eyes, hand holding his reddening cheek where I had slapped him. "Mikey...I-I didn't mean to--"

"You..." he uttered, tears spilling from his eyes. "You hit me. Your brother..." his tears fell quicker. "I'm your _brother_ and you _hit me_?" he sobbed.

I moved forward to hug him but he stepped back, shaking his head. "Mikey I'm sorry." I babbled. "I didn't think, I just acted--"

"Leave me alone!" he blurted. "You're just..."

I reached out and pulled him close to me, he fought momentarily before fully breaking down in my arms. We sank to our knees as he bawled into my chest and wailed words I didn't understand. For a few minutes we knelt there, I didn't say anything, he was lost to me right now. One of the soldiers came in to find me for one mundane reason or another but quickly reconsidered when they saw the two of us. When Mikey stopped sobbing I took his face gently in my hands and made him look at me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I was wrong to hit you."

He sniffed loudly and nodded in my hands.

"I'm sorry all of this happened, I'm sorry that I couldn't protect all of you and that I couldn't keep us together." I rambled, resting my forehead on his like we used to do when we were little kids. "I'm trying to keep everyone together and alive. Somewhere along the lines of getting made the leader...I lost sight of who was most important to me. Too many things became important and I knew you'd keep yourselves alive as best you could, I could trust that you'd call me out on my bullshit because you're my brother and you've always done that."

"Gee..."

"I'm gonna tell Jenna and Bryce that I can't do this anymore. When they get here I'm gonna tell them that I'm not a good leader, I can't keep everyone happy." I was biting back my own sobs now, feeling so pathetic about all of this. I was foolish to believe I could lead them out here. "But I'm going to do one final thing as leader. I'll save your two best friends. With you by my side, I'll get them back for you."

"Gerard..." he whimpered before burying his face in my chest again. "Gerard..."

**~***~**

It was obvious that I couldn't just disappear without telling everyone why. What was less obvious was what exactly I was going to tell them. With my leadership already being thrown into dispute and the lack of Frank only heightened my worry that a full blown mutiny would occur. Nevertheless, I announced that Ray would be governing in my absence, that Mikey and I were going to be riding out to the base to see if we could get an audience with whoever led them - it wasn't technically a lie. Most of them seemed accepting, with the promise that reinforcements would arrive any day now it eased the tension, or maybe it was just that someone more capable was going to be in charge. I didn't know or care as we prepared the horses, with no idea what we were gonna face inside there we were paying more attention to what we'd need.

"So what do you think is in there? Alive or infected?" Mikey asked me, a few of the soldiers had questioned the slight mark on his cheek but he simply shrugged and made something up. No-one was going to know about my lapse in control causing me to lash out at my own brother. I still felt bad about it.

"As much as I'd hate to say...I hope we find infected. I don't have a problem killing _them_." I shuddered.

He smiled and mounted his horse, I followed suit. We rode out of the encampment we had set up, soldiers wearily observed as Ray and Patrick bid us farewell. The snow was still a problem but dealing with it was almost second nature at this point, the base loomed in the distance as we rode at a slow pace. Rushing in was foolish. Tracks around the base entrance gave away a hole in the fence, it had been cut open which we deduced as Frank's work.

"They went in the back...smart." I remarked.

The lack of guards prompted us to open the gates so the horses could shelter in an old carport whilst we searched the building. I doubted very much that the two of them went in through the front door but our secondary motive here was to help them get out again. We slowly made our way into the lobby, it was trashed which was a somewhat promising sign; the two leather couches that would be for visitors had been shredded and tossed aside, papers and files from behind the receptionist desk lay scattered everywhere, paintings and certificates hung precariously on the walls and also littered the floor. A door hung on its hinges to our left, a sign above read _'to hangar A'_. Carefully picking our way through the rubble, always listening for any sounds that would indicate a threat or an ally, we made our way down the hallway. Flashlight beams bounced off the walls as I reacted to any sound of rats or the settling building, Mikey sniggered slightly but then went back to paying attention to our surroundings. Just because there were no guards didn't mean that we were safe by any means.

"They would've come in with no idea where Pete would be kept." I uttered. "So we could be wondering around this maze for hours."

"I imagine it's a building plan like our base. They'd be occupied by the same people after all."

I nodded, we continued down to hangar A, the door was open and the beam of light caught a smear of blood around the handle. I brought out the knife from its sheathe, something had been through here at some point. After checking that Mikey was ready I cautiously crept into the hangar. A few helicopters sat ready to be deployed when needed, the light of the day had been halted from entering by large motor-operated shutters so everything looked twice as eerie in the two flashlight beams we carried. It smelt of engine oil and fuel which I couldn't tell if it was better or worse than rotting bodies.

"Hangar A." Mikey observed. "Any sign of who left the blood?"

I looked around, not really any sign of anyone. We explored the room, inspecting the choppers for anything of use to our own base - I knew we had our own but due to lack of fuel we were reluctant to use them - which turned up nothing spectacular. We were running low on time if we were trying to get this done by dusk so I collected Mikey and we headed down another hallway, this one apparently heading towards _'control room 2'_ , where the first one was we didn't know.

"More blood." Mikey pointed to the control panel that flickered with error screens and malfunctioning CCTV footage. "And this panel is useless."

Pressing random buttons did next to nothing but throw up more messages so with a shrug we picked a hallway marked _Hangar B'_. I was beginning to think we'd not come into contact with anything threatening, when I opened the door to the hangar I had my head nearly taken out by a chunk of an aircraft. A mutant had claimed its territory and we sprinted to hide behind another chopper as it roared in protest at missing its target.

"Well done." My brother uttered.

"I didn't do it on purpose you know!"

"God, you sound like Frank." He pulled out a handgun, I hadn't authorized it but now was not the time to be arguing, he aimed and shot at the mutant's knees, it shrieked in pain and barreled towards us. Spying a crate in the corner of my eye I shouted for Mikey to lead it to me, I was going to try and replicate whatever Frank and Pete had done in the last battle. I vaulted up on top of the wooden box and held my knife tightly, I had no idea if I was going to be able to pull it off but I was going to try. It struck me that maybe Frank thought the same thing when he first did it.

It scrambled after my brother, knocking the tail of the helicopter and causing the landing skids to scrape along the floor, giving a whine in protest. I watched it closely, trying to read into its movements as Mikey led it closer. When it got close enough I jumped, it occurred to me a second too late that Frank uses two blades because one of them is to secure himself with. I hit its shoulders and clumsily wrapped my legs around its neck whilst frantically trying to align my knife with its spine. Of course it flailed around like a fish out of water and I felt blood trickling down my shoulder, despite the duct tape system it had torn through my jacket and scraped claw-like fingers against me. I clenched my jaw as I thrust my knife into its neck, another howl of pain  and even more flailing made it difficult to stay on so I quickly withdrew the blade and sunk it in again. This time movement ceased and I had failed to think through the part where I would fall to the concrete floor with it. Mikey rushed to my side and eased me out from under it, my leg was sore but miraculously I was unharmed by the fall, my shoulder on the other hand was not so lucky.

"Fucking hell." I uttered as we slowly walked away from hangar B. "How the hell does Frank do that?"

"He's faster and lighter." Mikey smirked. "You're clumsy and slow."

I scowled and rotated my injured shoulder, it gave a satisfying crack and a slight sting but it was still usable. We encountered a small horde in one of the messhalls but was still no closer to finding the others, as we walked away from another battle we stumbled into another control room. This one had working CCTV.

"I'll try and find them." Mikey uttered, sitting at the main desk and flicking between cameras. "You look through the paperwork and see if you can find out why they even took Pete."

I wasn't used to taking orders. I shrugged and started opening filing cabinets that stood in the corner, I found a lot about air tests and military exercises scheduled for next year but little about abducting a survivor of a zombie outbreak. Within a few minutes I realised there would be no plans in a cabinet so I looked around the desks, there was enough paper to build an origami fortress after all.

_Concerning 'the runt'_ a file read, that was what they called Pete when I asked about him. I flicked it open and found some rather disturbing pictures of him strapped to a chair and various soldiers in uniform stood around him, their torture techniques were reasonably barbaric. I dropped them next to Mikey so he'd look at them, he needed to know after all, whilst I read the report.

_Captured on December 12th by Lt Ward during a sweep of the surrounding area. Was on horseback - horse eliminated quickly after capture - put up struggle during arrival and detainment at Fort Alnor. Questioned by Cpt Ryan but refused to give specific details of whom he was working with/for. Fort commander ordered interrogation techniques be utilized by the Captain._

This wasn't good, Pete had been interrogated medieval Europe style because he wouldn't give up any information about us. There was a lot more to read so I only skimmed it, most of it was descriptions of what they did and I preferred not to read it or even judge them for it. This was the apocalypse, these men and women were just following what training had taught them.

_Runt refuses to talk sense. Speaks in sarcastic comments and ignores any offers of release upon information. He did tell us there is another base that's still active but refused to tell us where and who was inhabiting it. Cpt Ryan admitted he was running out of non-lethal ideas to extract information from the runt.  
Reports of a large horde approaching from the North has put interrogation on hold, Cpt Donnally will supervise the runt whilst the attack forces are absent but is under instructions to not fatally injure him. Documentation of the runt's detainment will cease until our return._

The rest of the file was empty. The horde explained the lack of soldiers, the location explaining why we didn't notice them leaving. I relayed all of this to Mikey who nodded, flicking through recorded footage as he listened. Just as I finished telling him everything he froze, he had found Pete in another hangar strapped to a chair, two figures appeared and seemed to unstrap him before lying him on the floor.

"Frank and Bob?" I asked.

"I hope so." he replied. "Hangar D."

We set off, not knowing where exactly hangar D was but knowing that the others had been or were still there. I hoped they hadn't moved too far and I hoped that we wouldn't be delayed. I just wanted everyone to be together and safe, my thoughts went back to how I was going to tell Jenna I couldn't do it anymore, then again it wasn't gonna be a permanent thing as far as I was concerned. Nothing is permanent anymore.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...considering I have plans to write another fanfic by the end of the summer...I need to finish this one before I completely forget about it.  
> I've given myself a goal of next Monday to have finished writing it up - editing and uploading not included - so yeah, 40 chapters is the estimation (which may change depending on how the ending plays out) and I'll probably upload weekly (so basically end of August/start of September is the end date.)
> 
> On that note - I'm getting bad with my emotions again so there's a lot of channelling being done...apologies if it's a little ooc. The one thing that does lift my spirits is kudos and comments so if you like what you read then let me know, it really does make my day a little better after staying up til 2am writing these chapter notes.

**Chapter Thirty-Six  
Frank**

We took a few moments to properly examine Pete's physical state, he had been beaten severely and blood at dried around his nose and mouth, he was now sporting a black eye and his fingers looked like they had been hit with a two by four repeatedly. Neither of us wanted to think about why this had all happened but we had a bigger problem; Pete wasn't exactly light.

"I won't be able to help you fight off anything whilst I got him on my back." Bob explained as I held the door open for him. "So you're gonna have to protect all of us."

I nodded, taking the lead as we set off through the network of tunnels and hallways again. I hoped that the others wouldn't be mad about our disappearance but it was for the best, Pete was probably dehydrated and near starvation. The walls echoed with our footsteps and Bob's laboured breathing, as far as I could tell we were alone in the building. I hadn't been reading any of the door signs, I was letting my gut instinct lead us through the maze which actually got us horrendously lost.

"Iero where the fuck are we?" Bob hissed, shifting Pete's still drugged up body slumped on his shoulders. "I'd like to not break my back here."

I glanced around the room, it looked like a cafeteria but there were probably loads of them here. I shrugged and cursed myself for being so idiotic, wishing one of the others were here to lend some wisdom or even a sarcastic remark like they would when we got lost on an unfamiliar map in a video game. Noise from the hallway spooked us to duck into the kitchen, crouching on the other side of the food hatch as sluggish footsteps entered the cafeteria. Bob glared in the dim light from outside, it was dawn already which meant the others would figure out we were gone. A cooking pot caught my eye, I carefully lifted it up and threw it out towards the door to the hallway. Whatever was with us let out a snarl and thundered out after it, giving us a few precious seconds to find another door leading away from the kitchen.

"Fuck sake...this place is infested." Bob uttered as we hurried away from whatever that thing was. In the silence of base we could hear the faint snarls and growls accompanied by a loud crash, we hoped that it wasn't going to come back.

"Well there's a lot less of them then I imagined there would be...considering they abandoned the place."

"Yeah well they're coming back...I assume."

With little else to discuss and the eerie silence that had fallen becoming suffocating, we continued to move through the network of hallways and small rooms. Bob soldiered on despite Pete still being dead weight on his back, I felt bad for not being able to shoulder the burden but I did what I had to do to protect the two of them from anything. The base seemed to lack windows, favouring ceiling lights, but the power had been knocked out so my flashlight was only solace in the darkness. We walked for what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes, time seemed to have lost meaning after we found Pete but there was always a nagging thought in my head that we needed to get him to safety.

"I need to put him down." Bob told me as we ended up in another hangar. "There's gotta be a barracks or a dorm or _something_ around here right?"

I hummed, telling him to stay put whilst I searched the next few rooms. Splitting up was a little risky but if I could find a room with somewhere safe to put Pete even if just for a few moments then we could take a few minutes to clear our heads. A lot of doors were locked so I ended up being  a lot further down the hallway than I would've liked but I did find a small room that resembled an infirmary. After collecting Bob and laying Pete on the bed we locked the door and sighed heavily.

"Well then." I uttered. "Any idea where we are?"

"Ugh...there must be like four or five different sections to this place. Which is weird because this place doesn't look _that_ big from the outside." Bob mumbled. "Then again we are probably half inside a mountain."

I shrugged, exhausted from not sleeping all night and having to fend off several infected instead. I could've fallen asleep there on the floor of the infirmary if the rapid footsteps outside hadn't chilled me to the bone. Bob's uneasy gaze met my fearful one, we only had a simple door between us and whatever was out there. My fingers closed around one of my knives, watching the small glazed window in the door for any sign of life. The footsteps continued down the hallway before abruptly ceasing, it sent a wave of uneasiness through me, it wasn't the big brute back, it was something smaller but a heck of a lot faster.

Slowly, I eased myself off the floor and edged closer to the door, opening it a crack to peer out. Darkness. I closed the door again and slumped to the floor. This was taking a larger toll on my mind than I thought it would. Bob sighed in defeat.

"We're like lambs in the woods...and two wolves are circling us." he uttered.

"Come on, we should move." I stated, if we started accepting that we were trapped then we'd never get out. "Get Pete and I'll check the hallway again."

Bob glared at me but nodded. He didn't have to come with me, he chose to do so and I was thankful that he did, however there was something to be said about how easily he was giving up after riding out this apocalypse for so long. Maybe he had finally reached his limit? With a shrug he stood up, cracking his shoulders as he prepared to carry Pete again. I didn't want to admit that I was feeling the same way, between the two of those things we were defenseless.

**~***~**

We had been carefully picking our way through the building when the loud guttural moans came from behind us, we quickened our pace as much as possible in order to put as much distance between us and it as possible. The lighter and possibly more deadly footsteps from earlier came from in front of us. I made the split second choice to bail into a broom closet. Bob had to literally shove Pete against the back wall in order for me to shut the door properly.

"World's fucking smallest broom closet Iero." Bob breathed down my neck.

"Shut up." I hissed, closing my eyes in the darkness. I wasn't _scared_. Frank Iero being _scared_? That was something that I wasn't going to allow to happen. I could take on the brute single-handedly sure, the other thing too probably, but both in the same space at the same time? No. We had to hide here until it was safe. "Just don't get any ideas."

"Mikey would kill me anyway."

A roar from down the hallway made me jump, thundering footsteps and wood splintering gave me cause for concern. How safe were we in this tiny space? As long as we didn't make a sound then we'd be fine, besides the brute was probably searching for whatever made the lighter footsteps. I felt myself shaking, it was cold here, even with Bob pressed against me, I clung to the door handle to keep it from popping open but my hands were shaking so much that they made it rattle.

"Please...don't..." I whispered, hoping we would be okay. My eyes closed, if it did find us then I didn't want to see it. I wanted it to be over quickly.

_Mikey!_ "

The familiar shriek brought forth new thoughts, the roar from before sounded and turned my blood to ice. Gerard and Mikey were out there, those had been the footsteps earlier, they had been running from this thing already. Without a second thought I kicked the door open and drew my knife, flashlight piercing the darkness and shining directly on Gerard's confused and bloodied face.

"The fuck happened to you?" Bob questioned.

"That thing, it jumped us and there was...a helicopter...oh god I couldn't kill it like I did with the other one." he rambled, hands coming up to his face, his fingers were sliced where a knife had slipped. "Mikey bolted because he's faster than me but I lost him and he's got that thing after him...and _oh god is Pete even alive_?"

Bob nodded, I turned my gaze to the room we had landed in; an office of sorts and a rather large hole in the wall where the brute had disappeared.

"I'm going after him." I stated. "I'll kill it."

If they objected then I didn't hear them, I darted into the hole and ended up in another mess hall. Following the sounds of the brute whilst trying not to draw too much attention to myself, it was in a rage of sorts and rampaging around after Mikey. I frantically tried to keep up, knowing that he'd be terrified.

"Mikey!" I called, the brute would probably hear me but I didn't care, if it gave Mikey a rest from running and a chance to hide then I was prepared to put myself in danger. I chuckled to myself, so self-sacrificing, I'm pretty sure Pete would've make some remark about it.

I stumbled over a few pieces of a door, falling to the ground and cussing. There was the sound of a choked scream, I scrambled to my feet and barreled through the hallway, winding up in one of the hangars. It had Mikey pinned against the wall by the neck, squeezing his throat. Now that I looked at it, it looked more human than mutated. Dark hair, scars running down its exposed back, clothes clung desperately to the rest of its body in mere rags and with tears all over.

"Put him down!" I screamed, half hysterical and half furious. It turned its head, revealing half of it to be covered in rashes that had bled and healed over, I swore I saw a smirk as its grip tightened and Mikey struggled against the strong grasp. This was looking more and more like _Outlast_ as it went on.

I panicked and threw my knife at it, simply grazing the other arm before it dropped to the floor with a sad clunk. "I said put him _down_!"

Without looking at Mikey it released the grip, the younger Way falling to the ground without even a whimper, it then began advancing towards me. I reached for my second knife, with my other hand holding the flashlight I wouldn't be able to properly kill it without nearly killing myself. Glancing to Mikey's unconscious form fueled my anger, I gripped my blade and ran at it - puncturing its heart couldn't be that difficult surely? - trying to keep the beam of white light focused on it was no easy task though.

A split second decision to side step out of its path ensured that I didn't get caught by one of its large hands. With the upper hand now, I turned and pounced, driving the blade into its back, no idea whether I had punctured the heart but it still let out a roar of pain. Withdrawing the blade and hastily backing up I gritted my teeth, I was so fucking mad at this thing but I had to try and keep focused. I concentrated on how it moved, from the front I could see the remains of what looked to be a uniform still clinging to its torso - although bloodied now from where my blade had struck it. It roared again, that was the only way to describe its guttural cries really, I exhaled heavily and readjusted my grip. Mikey wasn't saying anything from beside me which was alarming and only fueling the hysteria that I was trying to beat down. It sprang forwards, I barely had enough time to put up an attempt at defending myself, jaws snapping and hands clawing at my clothes that were really not suitable for combat. Blood welled from the scratches but I thankfully I had avoided getting bitten. I didn't know what else to do so I thrust the blade through its eye, one of the weakest parts of the skull.

I didn't want to ever experience the sensation of being able to _move_ the blade inside something's skull ever again. It didn't completely stop but I kicked it off of me with little effort, it snarled a few times but the aggressive movements had ceased enough for me to make my way behind it to finish the job.

Mikey was barely breathing, finger marks around his neck, only a fraction of the force that he had probably felt. I felt guilty. If I had told him where I was going then him and Gerard probably wouldn't of come after us. I sheathed my knife and checked for his pulse, like his breathing it was barely there. Not knowing where the others were was almost as terrifying as fighting the brute. I recovered my first knife and set about getting him into the position required for me to carry him out on my shoulder. It was probably a bad idea considering his condition but I had little option. I bit back the sobs as I retraced my steps.

**~***~**

"Oh my god..." Bob uttered when I found them. Gerard looked as pale as a ghost. I grunted for them to keep walking. We were nearly by the entrance anyway, with two unconscious people. So much for going in to avoid anyone getting hurt. Bob took one horse back to alert Ray to what they were about to receive, Gerard looked at me in the fading light of day as if to ask what the fuck had happened but I tried to ignore it, this was all my fault anyway.

When we got them back there were many questions, mainly directed at Gerard but I got enough uneasy glances to get the idea that a lot of people blamed me for something or other. Alex and Jack weren't too far away, apparently a scout had ridden ahead to let us know they were on the way with supplies and medical aid. I ignored the questions from Patrick about how we found Pete and how long Mikey had been unconscious, part of me hated myself for not being able to stop the brute from leaving him like that. Gerard's hands had been taped up as much as possible with our limited supplies, I sat outside the tent where both Pete and Mikey lay, Ray was still in charge mostly so one of the soldiers trained in medicine was in there with them trying to work out what had happened to Pete.

"Frank." Gerard called, he was right next to me in the snow but he seemed so far away. "Frank snap out of it."

"I fucking did it." I uttered, no sense to my words.

"Quit sulking and let yourself get checked out." he ordered. Bob was stood next to him but I stared at the muddy snow in front of me instead.

"I...I fucking..." I burst into tears, loud sobs attracted the attention of some of the others but I guessed they lost interest quickly once Bob glared at them. "I'm so fucking stupid." I choked out.

"Yes you are Frank but you saved two lives and still somehow managed to come out unharmed." Bob replied in a matter-of-factly tone. "You're an insanely lucky bastard and crying won't solve anything."

That only made it worse. Sure Mikey and Pete were alive, both unconscious. I had come away from the entire ordeal with only scratches and bruises, which wasn't right in the slightest in my mind. With help only a few hours away at most there wasn't much to do, I continued sobbing almost uncontrollably for the next two of them with Gerard slumped next to me and a lazy arm holding me close to him. It was cold but I shivered from the lingering trauma, I was slowly losing the ability to even talk about the conflict let alone think about going back into it.

The sight of horses and carts on the horizon spurred a cheer from the watchmen, sure enough Lt Bright rode up with what was our rescue crew. After setting his soldiers to packing up our camp and organizing for retreat he called Gerard to debrief him, he caught sight of not only Gerard's injuries but the state of the rest of the inner circle and frowned.

"What in god's name happened to you?" he grumbled, tired eyes examining Gerard's hands that were tightly bandaged.

"A lot." Ray cut in before someone lost their temper. "We'd rather explain back at base to be honest, debrief Jenna and Bryce at the same time."

"Ah...about that." the Lieutenant rubbed his neck before continuing. "Jenna resigned four days ago."

Gerard's eyes widened. "What?"

"So leadership has passed permanently to you."

"No."

Lt Bright raised an eyebrow at Gerard. The older Way stared back, the tension had grown considerably. I would've jumped to his defence but I felt too weak and broken to even stand properly.

"Pardon?"

"I said no. I'm not cut out for this...this...leadership thing. I'll get someone killed. I'll get us all killed." Gerard spat, tears were forming in his eyes but he stood his ground. "I can't even protect my own brother, let alone an entire fucking base of people."

There seemed to be a lot for Lt Bright to say but he held his tongue. We finished getting everyone packed up, Mikey and Pete were carefully moved into one of the sheltered carts and I sat with them as we began our long journey to 'home'. Sleeping was hard, the wooden bench of the cart wasn't comfortable and it was cold as fuck, Ray and Patrick were also sharing the space so it wasn't exactly the best place to be in my current mental state.

Much speculation had taken place before night fell about how Pete was drugged. Gerard had told us about the notes he found whilst searching for me and Bob so based on that we concluded - or rather Ray and him concluded whilst I sat there trying not to breakdown again - that Pete had been roofied shortly before this Colonel became infected. That explained the unconsciousness but was equally as concerning as we weren't sure how much he had been dosed up and if he would ever wake up. That alone sent Patrick into a breakdown. With Mikey also troubling us it was becoming harder and harder for order to be maintained by Ray.

Somehow we had to make it through this. We had been through hell as we knew it and I had sworn that we wouldn't die in some pathetic way, however looking at Mikey's still form in the dim light of the evening made me second guess myself. We were only human after all and humans could die really easily. With the other two asleep I watched the mountain fade away, I didn't really believe in god anymore despite my upbringing and especially considering the hell I had been through these past six months. With the traditional holidays just a few days away I was going to find it very hard to feel 'happy' given that most of the country was in chaos and my boyfriend had just nearly had his life choked out of him. Regardless, my childhood faith in an invisible force was one of the only things I had left that my mother gave me - other than life itself.

"If you exist." I whispered. "Then fuck you for putting us through this...but...thank-you for letting us get this far." a tear slid down my cheek. "Just give us one more chance... _please_..."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**   
**Gerard**

Rohypnol. What we knew was a common date rape drug. Apparently Pete had been given enough of it to be dragged under and now the medics were understandably concerned for his health. As soon as we got back to base we were all rushed to the infirmary, Mikey had regained consciousness briefly before falling asleep again but Pete had barely improved. I watched them hook him up to whatever machines we had access to whilst my fingers were seen to.

Frank was in a state of trauma still, there had been murmurings of PTSD but Ray quickly told the soldiers to shut up, he reminded them that without Frank's efforts then a lot of them would be dead right now. Instead Frank just loyally sat by Mikey's bedside, much like he had done on the first night here. Just how much more of this could he take? Bob had been quieter than usual which made me uncomfortable but was overshadowed by the relief of Patrick actually looking somewhat happy.

The meeting with Bryce didn't go well. Ray and I went up to the office that Jenna had governed from and I actively tried to refuse to lead the base any longer. Going into detail about what we had been through out there in the wilderness; how I had watched my brother be carried out of the other base with frightening bruises, Pete being practically dead on Bob's back, having to lie to our own men and women to prevent a mutiny, even telling her and the Lieutenant about how I slapped Mikey in the heat of the moment. If all of that was the price I had to pay then I didn't wanna pay it any longer.

"Gerard. You have to lead us." She said, her eyes had terrible shadows underneath them, I didn't care to know why and she didn't look like she was prepared to be upfront about any of it. "You're the only one who can."

"That's fucking bullshit and you know it!" I shouted, not caring about if anyone outside the room could hear, I was done with keeping up false appearances. "I'm by far the last person capable of leading anyone now."

Ray opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it when Bryce slammed her hands on the desk. "Gerard you don't get it do you?" She screamed. "Jenna told me that *you* had to be the one. You're the *only* one who has the fucking balls to make the choices that will be unpopular, the ones crucial to our survival."

Frustrated tears streamed down my cheeks, my hands shook by my sides as I bit back sobs. "I can't..." I whimpered. "I can't do it Bryce." Flashes of the scornful looks that the group had given me as we waited like sitting ducks in the blizzard and the feeling of impending failure engulfed me, the fear of not knowing whether I made the right call to stay there or the right call to follow Frank and Bob into the base...the one that eventually led to Mikey's near-death experience.

"You have to." She replied, shaking slightly. "No-one else is going to do it. I can't do it. Bright can't do it."

"Why?" Ray asked, speaking for the first time since entering the room.

Bryce scowled at the floor for a few moments. "I got bit...and..." she hiccuped, rolling up her shirt to reveal a large wound in her side, a few days old at least and it was also going a sickly green around the edges. "I'm done for Gerard."

"H-How?" I stuttered. "Frank got bit and he's fine...how did you..."

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you managed to stop the infection, maybe it's because it wasn't a mutant who bit him."

A mutant? So close to base? Close enough to bite and infect someone? Recalling when we entered the base I did notice a apprehensive feeling as well as heightened defenses but I never thought that all of that was down to something so...

"Do the soldiers know?" I asked, regaining my composure. "That you're gonna..."

"Not yet. Only Lt Bright and the medic who treated me know. I waited until you were back to make the call. I'm gonna have..." she paused, swallowing and sighing heavily. "I'm gonna have the Lieutenant put a bullet in my head before it happens."

The words hung in the air. The reality hit me and also a load of questions brewed in my mind. Bryce stared at me, determined but scared at the same time.

"Where's Jenna?" I demanded.

"Resigned. She blamed herself for what happened and couldn't take it anymore, with Will's death and now my immanent one...I don't know where she is in the base but she's basically useless as a leader."

I glared at her. So I really was their last hope? My gaze shifted to Lt Bright, the once fearless man I had respected looked back at me with uneasy eyes. "And what about you?" I questioned. "Why can't you do it?"

"I lack the people skills." he stated. "And quite frankly I don't know how shooting Bryce is going to affect me."

That was it. The conversation was over. I stormed out of the room, leaving Ray there in my search for Frank, the broken lover of my brother may have some idea of what the fuck I should do. Mikey was still asleep, Frank looked up at me through his overgrown fringe, his eyes showed how little he had slept but they also held a curiosity about them.

"Bryce is dying." I muttered, sitting on the floor in front of him, a rather bizarre situation to find myself in but there were other things on my mind. "And Lt Bright is refusing to step up. So I'm gonna have to lead the base."

He blinked slowly, not saying anything and only cracking his knuckles in response.

"But I don't wanna do it...you know what happens when I lead Frank--" I uttered. "People end up nearly dead because of me!"

I didn't really appreciate how he wasn't saying anything but I knew he was battling his own demons and me venting to him probably wasn't helping. Heck he probably blamed me for Mikey's injuries.

"Gee." he murmured. "Out of all the idiots who could lead us, you're the only one I'd be willing to stand beside on the battlefield."

It was a mixed statement. He called me an idiot but he also gave me his blessing? It was the best he could utter in the circumstances. I smiled slightly, he was doing his best even though he was probably falling apart inside his mind. I asked him how he was holding up, he frowned at me and looked at Mikey without a word, confirming my suspicions that he was indeed falling apart inside.

"I should've told you I was heading in." he sighed. "He wouldn't of insisted on coming to get me right?"

I didn't want to say yes but I didn't want to lie either. "It was a group decision." I slowly told him. "And yeah I would've been wise to tell us...but no-one blames you Frank."

He nodded, I knew he didn't believe me but there was little else I could say. With everything that had happened there was just a lack of words now to comfort each other. Words that we hadn't heard a million times before anyway. Mikey woke up a short while later, Frank practically pounced on him and started crying with relief, for once I felt relatively indifferent. Sure Mikey was my brother but...for some reason this just felt so...typical.

I excused myself, partly to give them privacy but mostly because I felt out of place. With Ray otherwise occupied I just wondered the base without any real purpose. I got a few weird looks from some people who I hadn't seen since before we left for our original trip and one or two of them had tried to talk to me but I just didn't feel all there. I hadn't felt right for a while but it was only now beginning to dawn on me. I didn't have anyone to fight for now. Frank had proved himself more than capable of saving Mikey, Pete had Patrick, Bob and Ray could look after themselves. There was a heavy feeling of loss in the base and I think it was more to do with Bryce than Pete's condition. I found one of the soldiers who had returned to base before we continued to find Pete.

"Oh, we arrived just as they were pouring in." she told me over a pot of badly brewed coffee. "It wasn't a horde as big as before but there were quite a few mutants in there...no-one really knows what happened but we know Bryce was injured real bad. We pushed them back and did what we could, they'll be back eventually though."

"So do you know how many died?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"...hundred or so." she uttered, eyes fixed on her hands. "They were running a skeleton crew, most of whom were killed. We managed to save a few but most were long gone."

"And Bryce? Where was Jenna?"

"Jenna was nowhere to be seen, Bryce had a massive blood stain but Lt Bright whisked her away. We had to calm the civilians down as best we could but..."

I patted her hand, she said all she needed to say. With that discussion heavy on my mind I decided to go and walk around the civilian hangar, many of the faces there were staring at me were painted with concern, some with relief but mostly concern. The rest of my day was spent going from family to family, asking about their lives before this disaster, who they were, where they were from. One thing became clear, these people were scared, a lot of them were against being led by a kid barely out of high-school but they lacked the courage...or stupidity to call the shots.

It left me second-guessing my decision. Maybe it was for the best that I went along with it. Maybe it was the only thing I could do anymore, I had lost my purpose anyway. On my way back to the infirmary I ran into Bob, he looked at me with a vacant expression for a few seconds.

"How are you holding up?" I asked after an uncomfortable silence.

"Decent. Any idea what's going on? I heard they were attacked and that the wall needs to be maintained."

I shrugged, the topic of base upkeep hadn't been brought up to me yet. I had stormed out before any of that stuff had been spoken of.

"I'm on my way to see Mikey." I told him. "I left Ray with Bryce."

"Might as well tag along then." he sighed.

**~*~**

It was weird being hugged by Frank, Mikey was awake and had actually eaten what little food the base seemed to have. I had told them what I had heard from the civilians, how scared they were and how confused everyone was, somewhere along the lines I had burst into tears and found myself being hugged tightly by Frank.

"It'll be okay Gee." he said. "We'll figure it out."

"But I'm so f-fucking confused." I hiccuped. "I don't want to be the one in charge but if I don't then who will? I can't force Ray into it cause that's unfair too!"

"You're trying to shoulder all the responsibility but you don't even want it?" Mikey asked, calm and collected but the worry was etched on his face.

There was little else to say, I was caught between a rock and a hard place; agree to lead the base but be forced to make choices that I didn't agree with *or* reject the idea and force someone even less-willing to do it.

"I gotta do it." I uttered, breaking away from Frank's embrace. "I have to."

"Try leaving it a while longer, wait until Ray's finished talking to them." Bob suggested.

"I've left it as long as I could!" I exclaimed, voice cracking slightly. "It doesn't change anything!"

An uneasy silence fell, I tried not to start sobbing again as everyone looked uncertainly at each other. I was about to get up and leave but Patrick bursting into the room threw that idea aside. Frank and I left Mikey with Bob as we hurried to the other room, Pete's eyes were open but he seemed very disorientated. As Patrick tried to get him to speak, the medic told me that Pete would be very confused due to being unconscious for such a long period of time and would probably not remember anything about the ordeal. Frank cussed slightly and was about to leave, I grabbed his wrist and forced him to walk to Pete's side.

"You saved his life after all." I uttered.

Patrick let go of Pete's motionless hand and pulled Frank into a bear hug, tears spilling from his eyes.

"Thank you Frank...I'm so sorry about doubting you." he sobbed. "You...you're insane but you did it."

I allowed myself to smile slightly, so maybe this wasn't all in vain. Frank hugged Patrick back with unsteady arms, I felt that maybe Frank could forgive himself a bit now that Pete was alive. Glancing back at the confused member of our party, he stared at me and moved his lips as if to ask where he was. I patted his hand and smiled.

"You're safe now. We'll protect you." I told him, almost believing in my own words again.

He nodded slightly, seeming to understand that we were his friends. With Patrick now focusing back on his friend, I nodded for Frank to follow me out into the hallway.

"Do you forgive yourself now?" I asked, almost whispering. "He's alive, so is Mikey."

"How did you--" he asked, caught off guard.

"I feel it too." I admitted. "That feeling that you caused so much heartache and everything you do ends up a fucking mess."

He bit his lip slightly before nodding. "Yeah...I kinda do." he murmured.

"Good." I smiled, it was a fake smile as I still hadn't forgiven myself but I had to pretend I was fine.

"You don't though." he stated, looking at me with a fixed gaze. "You still blame yourself for everything, even Helena."

I froze, he couldn't of known surely? "No. I don't blame myself for everything. Just a lot of shit."

"We've been through a lot of crap together Gee, I know you still blame yourself for a lot of it. That's why you don't wanna lead right? You're terrified that something is gonna go wrong."

Sometimes I hated Frank for his ability to see through my lies, if he was thinking straight then he could easily pick up on them it seemed, Mikey must've spoken a lot about our younger years for Frank to have it all sussed so quickly. I stood there in the hallway, trying to figure out how to shove it all aside.

"Don't even think about brushing it all off. Part of being a leader is to admit that you're hurting inside." he added. I remembered back in the snow when Mikey said I could be a good leader if I continued to admit that I was scared. Maybe they were right.

"...you're right." I breathed, not quite looking him in the eye. "I'm paranoid that I'll get everyone here killed."

"Then we'll stand with you and make sure it doesn't happen." he replied, a small smile of hope resting on his face.

"Thank-you Frankie." I smiled back. "You've become like a brother to me."

"Don't mention it Gee. As I said, you're the one idiot I'd willingly stand beside to protect Mikey and the others."

"So I'm an idiot am I Mr 'I'm gonna go in single-handedly'?" I chuckled.

He laughed, pulling me into a hug. "But I saved Pete and Mikey so it was worth it in the end." he murmured as we hugged.

"Yes it was."

We were interrupted by footsteps and a loud cough, Ray stood at the end of the hallway, face pale and worry clear as day on his face.

"Toro?" I asked, pushing Frank gently away.

"It's Bryce. She's changed...she's a danger to everyone." he uttered. "You need to lock the base down."

Frank shot me a worried glance. I was very confused, how quickly and how bad was it?

"Okay. You go and get Bob before meeting me at the armory with the rest of the remaining soldiers." I told him before turning back to Ray. "Take me to her."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty-Eight  
Frank**

I sprinted back to Mikey's room. After telling Bob that we had a huge problem we were about to make for the armoury but Mikey was insisting that he join us.

"No, you just nearly had the life choked out of you!" I exclaimed, I desparately wanted to make sure he didn't get hurt. "Stay here for the love of god...please..."

"No." he stated, slipping out of bed, he was actually fit enough to fight but the risk was too high for my liking. "I'm going. I'm not just gonna sit here whilst you're all proecting everyone. I'm part of this inner circle too and I'm not letting you all shoulder this burden. I owe it to my brother that I stand by him like you've sworn to do!"

I stared at him, the Way stubbornness was like hitting a brick wall, there was no way I'd be able to change his mind. With a heavy heart I nodded, helping him get changed and following Bob to the armoury. The sirens had sounded, scrambling all available soldiers to their battle stations, many had no idea what was happening but there were one or two who had seen it all happen.

"Bryce is a mutant." one said. Bob was effectively in charge now with the lack of Lt Bright and he was trying to keep the fear from spreading. "She was arguing with Ray about something when she just stopped, eyes rolled to the back of her head and--"

"That's enough!" Bob snapped, loud enough to silence everyone else. "We know very little about what's happening but what I can say is that whatever has happened to Bryce now makes her a threat to the welfare of the base. As soldiers we now have to stop that threat."

"But--"

"No buts!" Bob was visibly worked up but I couldn't blame him. "Get your gear on and wait for instruction."

Everyone muttered as we pulled on the bulletproof vests and armed ourselves with what little firearms we had. I chose to stick with my blades, especially now that Pete was hospitalised, someone had to decapitate her to ensure the threat was gone.

Mikey pulled me into the hallway unexpectedly, I was about to ask what he was doing when he kissed me forcfully, pinning me against the wall. It was clear what was happening, he was scared but he didn't want to go out into this battle without me knowing he loved me, regardless of our disagreement. I returned the kiss, hands roughly cupping his face and pulling him even closer to me, teeth and tongues clashed in the sloppy exchange but we were so desparate that it didn't matter.

"I love you." he breathed when we did break apart.

"I love you too." I replied.

We got back into the room, Bob raised an eyebrow but said nothing. The wait for Gerard and Ray was a long one, we were almost afraid that something had happened but the rapid footsteps and the door bursting open put that to rest.

"Right, it is being contained in hanger b by the guard unit, they won't hold out much longer though." Gerard told us. "My orders are to eradicate the threat before it hurts the civilians or damages our already weakened infastructure."

"This is Bryce we're talking about?" a small voice asked from the crowd somewhere. I noticed Gerard's eyes remained determinded despite the war that must be going on inside his head.

"Bryce is no longer with us." he stated. "She's gone. A mutant is in her place. What is important here is to get rid of it before that horde hears the calls."

"Horde? Calls?" someone else asked. "What?"

"It keeps roaring." Ray stepped in. "We think it's a call for its pack, which would be the horde that infected it."

"Pack? So they're like wolves?" I asked, this was making very little sense.

"Enough talking." Gerard snapped. "Focus on getting rid of the mutant, the lookouts are on alert for the horde returning, be prepared to fight should you hear the sirens."

He marched out the room, Ray following. Bob coughed loudly and summoned our attention, dividing us into three groups so we could protect each other easier.

"Everyone clear what they're doing?" he asked.

"Sir, yes sir!" the group responded, much like the military would have.

"Get your asses out there then."

The other two groups filed out the door and jogged to the hangar. Mikey and I were in Bob's main group and therefore last to leave. We were the ones who'd go in once it was weakend, mainly so I could easily get in close to kill it once and for all.

"I have faith in you Iero." Bob uttered as we slowly made our way towards the chaos. "Don't worry about anything else but killing that thing and staying alive long enough to do so."

I nodded, cracking my knuckles and patting my sheathed blades, they'd been faithful to me so far and I hoped I wouldn't have to use them much after this.

The hangar was in disarray. The mutant was bigger than normal, whatever normal was, and it had succuessfully destroyed one helicopter already. The smoke from the fuel that had been set alight was already causing my eyes to water. Orders were being shouted above gunfire to put it out but attempts had failed so far. Bob shouted for us to hussle, the soldiers who had guns set themselves up behind barricades, I had a different objective though. I climbed a ladder leading up to a catwalk, I'd have to watch its movements and judge when I could jump down to seal the deal. I could see and hear the casulties of thrown wreckage screaming for help, the brute that was once Bryce was animalistic in its actions; prowling around and screeching in pain whenever someone managed to injure it.  It wasn't as big as the helicopters but it had the strength needed to tear through them, what the purpose of this was...that was a mystery.

I spotted Gerard clutching his shoulder as he knelt behind a crate of spare parts, he had injured it only a few days ago and it was clearly giving him trouble. Half of me told me to stay and monitor the brute but the other half said to check on him. I stuck to my orders, the brute was getting more and more agitated at the bullets striking it and soon I'd have to step in out of desparation rather than calculated movements.

"Fire at will, don't let it leave this hangar!" Bob shouted to our group, the other two groups were given similar orders. My ears were ringing but I was far too used to it to let it impair my other senses.

As if the brute could still understand English, it moved to thunder through the barricades, its body was showing little damage from the bullets which caused a lot of questions to bubble in my mind. How was it surviving? Was the mutation so advanced that it could withstand being shot at?

"Iero are you still alive up there?" Bob shouted at me. "Cause now would be a good time to get involved!"

I nodded, unsheathing my blades and sprinting along the catwalk towards it, the distraction of the bullets raining down was enough to cover my footsteps on the metal. As soon as I was above it I jumped, Bob ordered a ceasefire immediately. My two blades sunk into the shoulders with the momentum of my fall, it screeched in response and I punched it in the head before unsheathing my third blade.

"Frank!" someone called, I looked a second too late to see the hand heading for me. I was knocked off, hanging precariously by my grip on one of the my knives.

It spun, knowing I was still there, pinning me against the charred remains of a chopper. I gritted my teeth as I felt my the pain in my chest, forcing my final blade into the lower back region. The brief release of pressure gave me the opportunity to withdraw the two blades I had a grip on and drop to the floor, leaving one still stuck in the beast's back.

I found myself crouched next to Gerard as the gunfire rang out again. He tried to smile but I could tell his shoulder was bleeding.

"Bullet ricocheted." he winced as I lifted his shirt sleeve to examine the wound. "Didn't directly hit but it reopened the wound from before."

"You should get out of here." I told him. "I'm a magnet for people nearly dying."

"Like hell am I leaving you here." he snapped, standing up and aiming his pistol at the things head. "I just gotta be careful."

"Where's Ray?"

"Protecting the civilian hangar."

I nodded, cracking my neck as I planned about getting back on to the brute's shoulders. "How did it mutate so quickly?"

"We don't know. Lt Bright was killed by it, Ray barely made it out alive."

Another screech chilled me to the bone, this thing wasn't going to be stopped by bullets alone. I had to get on top and decapitate it before people died. I nodded to Gerard and sprinted to the nearest ladder, ignoring the flaring pain in my chest as I lifted myself up. It had gotten to the main barricade leading to the civilian hanger and there was a heightened sense of panic and fear. Bob was shouting orders like crazy as well as emptying an entire magazine with did little to slow the brute.

"Fuck sake." I cussed, leaping again and wrapping my legs around its neck as I ran a blade through its skull. The lack of a brain would only slow it, the animalistic instincts that these things kept would still power through.

I ripped my blade from its back and jumped, trying to land on top of a crate as it flailed wildly. I locked eyes with it, Bryce's blue eye were still there. I lost my nerve for a split second. It roared in pain as it stumbled backwards, the nervous system breaking down and causing it to lose its footing.

"What are you waiting for?!" Bob shouted at me.

I snapped into action as it toppled backwards, my feet landed on its chest and I squeezed my eyes shut as I swiped my blades at its neck. Blood sprayed out and coated my face. When I reluctantly opened my eyes I saw the open wound and the cold dead eyes staring at me. Silence fell. My shoulders felt weak, I wanted to vomit, I sheathed all my blades and stepped off the corpse. The murmurs of the wounded were seen to, Mikey approached me and gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulders, staying clear of the blood. I smiled slightly despite my pain.

"I really hope that we don't have to fend off a horde." I sighed. "We don't have the fire power for it and I can't do this single-handedly."

"We'll be fine." Gerard commented, clutching his shoulder as he walked over. "The lookouts are reporting no signs of the horde."

"For all our sakes I hope that they're right." Bob sighed from behind us. "Cause that was too close for comfort."

**~*~**

I was woken in the middle of the night by sirens.

"No fucking way." I groaned as the calls from the barracks rang out.

"God fucking damn it." Mikey snapped as we hurriedly got ourselves ready. "And at night too?!"

"Just calm down." I murmured, arming myself with the blades. We ran to meet Gerard and Ray at the gate, Bob was already ordering soldiers around so we asked our leader for information.

"Lookouts spotted a horde." Gerard stated with a stony expression. "It's gonna be like the last bloodbath."

The few horses we had prepared were being given out. I got one almost by default as did the rest of the inner circle. Flaming torches were lit and there was a new addition to our line-up; an American flag.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" someone asked.

"We found it on a raid." a response from Bob. "And it lifts morale for some people so shut the fuck up and try not to die on it."

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Were we that desparate that some people clung to the image of our fallen country to give them hope? I guessed so. With the signal from Gerard, we rode out, the foot soldiers following at a jog. The horde wasn't as big as the last one, however with out weakened forces and the disadvantage of the darkness meant that it could be just as catastrophic for us. The snow was going to make it harder too, but we were far too used to moving in the snow now.

"So Patrick is where exactly?" I asked Ray as we rode out to meet the horde.

"He's protecting the infirmary with the limited guard unit. "He said he'd be more useful there than out here."

I couldn't exactly disagree with that statement. We got close enough to the horde to stop and organise ourselves. It was advancing quickly so I had little time to prepare myself mentally for what on earth I was to do.

"That one." Gerard pointed after a few seconds of studying the group. "Kill that one Frank." I looked to where he was pointing, it wasn't a mutant, it looked rather ordinary.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Watch." he murmured. I did, the small mundane was ahead of the rest, about the size of a senior in highschool and didn't immediately seem threatening. Gerard raised a pistol and shot at it. The bullet seemed to be on target but at the last second the mundane moved with impressive speed, dodging the bullet and screeching in protest.

"That's why." He uttered. "Kill it before it takes us all out."

My eyes must've been wide with disbelief, how the fuck was I suppose to match that speed?

"You can do it." Mikey murmured. "I'll have your back so just focus on killing it."

I nodded, uneasiness building inside of me. The foot soldiers bagan their assult, the ammo supply must've gotten low as they were focusing on pot shots rather than spraying. I urged my horse forward along with Ray and Gerard, I had to stick with them for protection until I could single out the one I had to kill.

A bloody clash occurred, I felt myself slipping from the saddle but hung on, I couldn't fall off and be vulnerable, I had to jump and land aware of my surroundings. With much of the first wave being downed or caught unaware I took my chance and leapt, knowing the horse would return to the base out of fear. I landed and instantly began hacking my way towards my target. Mikey's pistol was firing repeatedly and taking out as many as he could. I found myself face to face with the mundane. It wasn't much taller than me but I knew its speed would be hard to deal with. It launched at me, jaws snapping, I side-stepped and pierced another mundane with my blade. I swear I could see it smirking as the tattered jacket it wore whipped in the wind.

"Stay sharp Frank!" Mikey called from his horse, galloping around me and shooting more mundanes than I could count.

It launched at me again, talon-like fingers scraping my padded arm, I batted it away and slashed at its torso. Winding it slightly and giving me a chance to regain the upper hand by moving behind it. The speed it possessed was unworldy, it was face-to-face with me in seconds, I panicked and stepped backwards. With little options to hand I thrust one of my blades through its chest, it stuck fast and I was unable to withdraw it again.

"Mikey!" I called, no answer. Panic surged through my veins, I raised a foot and tore the blade free as I kicked it away. It bounced back rapidly and I struggled to keep it at bay as well as fending off the others than tried to swarm me.

The sound of hooves gave me hope, Ray came swooping in with a baseball bat embedded with nails and other razor like items. "Duck!" he shouted.

I did as I was told, hearing the guttural moans and hisses as heads and limbs were removed in seconds. Once the hooves faded I stood up and instantly slashed the speedy mundane that had tried to pounce on me, I was so done with this bastard's shit now.

"Mikey I could really use your backup now!" I shouted, hoping he'd come in all guns blazing.

The mundane grinned, my blood turned to ice. The adrenaline was overpowering, I let out a roar and sprinted at it, it launched itself at me again and we were heading towards each other. I was just about to impale it when out of nowhere Mikey's horse arrived, a large blade taking the mundanes' head clean off. I spun on the balls of my feet and looked around bewildered.

"Told you I'd have your back." Mikey hummed as he stopped next to me. "Get on, Gerard needs us."

The horse manouvered through the dead bodies, I caught sight of Ray and Bob trying to protect Gerard who was bleeding heavily. I readied myself to leap off the horse as we got closer. Mikey steered the mare and I caught sight of a mutant approaching from the west.

"Go left, I need to get rid of that mutant before it gets closer!" I shouted to him over the sounds of the gunfire and screaming.

He nodded and changed course. I focused on watching its movements. How these things were mutating was forever going to be a mystery but all of the questions would wait for another time, the moment called for me to ignore my injuries and fight to keep everyone else alive. I swore I'd stand by Gerard despite his stupidity, that I'd protect Mikey, that I'd live no matter what.

"Good luck. I'll have your back." he called as I leapt, sticking the blade into the shoulder instantly. This was getting easier each time.

It howled, it wasn't as strongly built as the others I had faced but it wasn't going down without trying to kill me first. With slashes and stabs came the spraying of blood, the coating of my clothes and weapons. Mikey took out its legs and I felt us both fall. I jumped just before it hit the ground, landing beside it and proceeded to get on with killing it.

"You're getting good at this." he remarked as I got back on the horse.

A scream from where Gerard had been turned our blood to ice. It wasn't a scream from a mundane. It was a human and it sounded familiar.

"Fuck." Mikey cussed, kicking the horse go faster. "No.. _no_!"

I prayed to the deities that had so far abandoned us. We had lost too many leaders to lose another one. We had lost too many loved ones for Gerard to die now. We had all lived through hell and survived, I wasn't about to let one god damn undead being change that now.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

**Gerard**

There were more than we thought. My shoulder burned as I batted another body away. Sweat soaked my back and blood trickled down my arms, I was shaking from the loss of blood and the sheer exhaustion that came with it. Ray had come galloping to my rescue and was fighting for both our lives, Bob similarly had ridden in to save us both but now we were surrounded.

"Are you okay?" Ray hissed to me as I shook my head.

"Not really." I uttered. "I can't really..."

Bob messily decapitated another one, he grunted as another replaced it. We fought them off for as long as we could but there were too many and I was too weak. I couldn't give up though. Where would that leave the others?

"Pull yourself together!" I shouted at myself, wielding my only blade with my good arm. I caught a mundane in the shoulder and tore the blade away, blood spraying everywhere. Frank had to have had a strong stomach to be able to deal with this repeatedly.

Ray and Bob sprung into action, hacking as best as they could, in the chaotic surroundings I was separated from them. With an injured shoulder I was impaired, they easily latched onto me, I fought against their grasp, slashing at anything that came within wielding distance.

"Fuck you." I spat as I lost my blade in the chaos. Now I was done for.

"Gerard!" Ray called, barging next to me and handing me one of his knives. "Come on Gee, stay with me and let's get these bastards."

I nodded, breathing heavily as I eradicated another threat. We were so focused on the ones in front of us that I didn't see the one approaching from behind until it was too late. A set of jaws closed around my injured shoulder. I screamed out in pain and my vision blurred with tears. With a blade in my free hand I thrashed around trying to get free but it only bit harder. I was out of ideas when the image of Frank driving a blade through Bryce's head came back to me.

"Motherfucker!" I exhaled as I drove the point between the eyes with every ounce of strength I could muster.

It let go and howled, I kicked it away, wincing as my shoulder bled more. Bob came from behind me and finished the job. I slumped to my knees, shoulder numb but flaring in pain at the same time, I didn't even think it was possible for it to do that.

"Gerard!" Ray cried, killing another one and rushing to my side. "Gerard stay with us!"

Bob grunted and waved to someone, I couldn't tell who. I was beginning to drift in and out of consciousness when I heard the panicked yell.

"Gerard!" It was Mikey, the sound of hooves was the last thing I remembered as I blacked out completely.

~*~

I didn't know where I was when I woke up. It sounded like the infirmary but it didn't look like it. I tried to move my arm but a flash of pain caused me to wince and cry out slightly.

"Easy now..." a small voice came from my other side. It was Alex, I had almost forgotten about him and Jack. I looked at him in confusion.

"Alex?" I whispered.

"You're still alive..." he told me, smiling as he reassured me. "But you're very weak."

"Where--"

"You're in the part of the infirmary that deals with critical cases. Jack and I ended up helping out when the first few casualties came back."

"...what happened?" I asked, trying to sit up more but the pain in my shoulder was too much.

"After you blacked out Mikey and Frank got you back here. The rest of the horde was killed within the hour but a lot of people were injured. No fatalities somehow though."

No fatalities. That one statement made me relax a little, somehow we had survived. My arm throbbed and when I looked at it I saw there were lines fed into it. The thought of needles nearly made me pass out all over again. Alex smiled and did some basic check overs of my vital signs, getting me to look at the ceiling and the floor so he could analyse my eyes. I asked him when I could see any of the others.

"Well...Frank got grazed by a rogue bullet so he's resting up a few doors down. Ray's assumed the captaincy for now and Bob's his right hand man. Mikey's putting on a brave face and is dividing his time between the civilians and checking in on the two of you." He listed off as he filled out some kind of form. "Patrick might be around, if I can find him do you want to see him?"

I nodded, seeing anyone would be better than staring at the ceiling.

~*~

"How's Pete?" I asked as he pulled up a seat.

Patrick nodded, he looked a lot better since Pete woke up, obviously the worry of our immediate safety was weighing heavily on all of us but he seemed to be shouldering it well. He was smiling for a start.

"He's getting there. He's regained most of his memory. All the way up to before we left for the supply trip. I'm not gonna force him to remember anything about the trip if he doesn't want to..."

I nodded. "That's good."

"So what are we gonna do? Jenna's basically become mute since all of this, she saw what happened to Bryce and--"

"I know." I muttered. "And we're going to strengthen our defence. That's all."

He gave me an uneasy glance. "Okay...you know...Christmas is coming up. I don't know how many people here celebrate it but maybe we could try to throw something together?"

I considered it for a moment. Christmas. So many memories and so many emotions came back. We didn't have the food to spare to hold a feast, getting a tree would be more hassle than it was worth, gifts were out of the question.

"Like what?"

"...we could have a candle-lit vigil. Share some stories with the civilians. Get everyone to remember the happy times, to remember why surviving is important. It'll be bittersweet sure but it'll be good to just remind everyone of the good things we have."

It wasn't a _terrible_ idea, I just wasn't sure if it was a _good_ one. There could be a lot of pent up emotion released and it would be hard to deal with.

"Okay...I'll leave the preparation to you." I sighed. "I have bigger things to worry about, so you can be in charge of it. Anything you need done just say the word."

He smiled and nodded. I had to admit, it was a good idea to try and raise everyone's spirits after this chaos. I just didn't have the emotional strength to plan that and plan out how to make this all safe for us. The days that passed were long and tiresome, Jack came and tied my arm up in a sling to help my shoulder recover quickly, as soon as I was able to leave I made a bee line for Frank's bedside. He was awake and looking like he was on the road to recovery, the bullet had grazed his chest dangerously close to where he had been slashed all those months ago. He greeted me with a smile and a shoulder hug before updating me on everything that had happened after the battle.

Once he assured me that he was okay and that he'd be able to move within a few days I left in search of Ray. Along the hallways to the control room I was greeted with smiles and nods, clearly someone had been saying good things about me. The hangar Bryce had destroyed was being repaired slowly, the control room overlooked it so Ray had a Birdseye view of it all.

"Good to see you up and about." he commented when I closed the door behind me.

"Felt horrible being stuck in that room all by myself." I replied, nodding to Bob who was leaning against the desk. "How are things looking?"

"Normality is returning slowly." Ray stated. "A lot of people are thankful for how quickly that bloodbath was over. A lot of them are singing your praises."

"Why? I got injured almost instantly."

"Sacrificial acts go down well remember?" Ray smiled slightly. "Thankfully Mikey and Frank were nearby so you were saved from death, just."

"So suddenly I'm the most popular person here?"

"Oh no Frank's got that one." Bob remarked with a chuckle. "Little shit that he is."

Once the novelties were out of the way I sat down and planned out how to reinforce the walls of the base. Wood was the only thing we had plenty of given that we were right next to a forest, it seemed that we would rely on that for now to patch the holes and construct some better gates. Once the plan for that was established I put forward Patrick's suggestion.

"Sounds like a good idea." Ray hummed.

"I agree." Bob uttered. "It'll give the kids something to take away."

I nodded, we hadn't done much about them as we had been preoccupied but now seemed like a good a time as any. I told them that Patrick was handling the planning so to just be aware that he might request help. With little else to discuss I decided to go and find Mikey. The base actually seemed more alive than it had previously. We had relaxed a lot of the militaristic habits, the soldiers were allowed to live with the civilians if they wished, it meant families could stick together and support one another. I entered the hangar and was immediately approached by an older woman, she smiled and shook my good hand, thanking me for all everything that the inner circle had done to keep everyone together. I smiled back and told her it was no worry.

That scenario repeated itself many times, both young and older people came up to me and thanked me, many of them near tears and needing comfort. One or two kids approached me quietly, I crouched down to their level and spoke to them, apparently one of their brothers brought them here and then died a few days later from an infection, the other's family took them in and the two of them wanted to be soldiers like my brother and I. It certainly made me smile that we were heroes in some of these people's eyes, even if we were reluctant about it all.

I found my brother eventually, he was speaking to an elderly couple when I arrived. They both smiled warmly at me and thanked me for taking care of them and their family who had all managed to shelter here. I nodded and asked Mikey to join me in the hallway. It took us another fifteen minutes to get there after being stopped repeatedly by civilians and soldiers alike.

"So how are you feeling?" he asked, concern taking over.

"I've been better." I confessed. "But we'll get things back on track."

He smiled. "You're a natural born leader, we'll manage it as long as you're leading us."

"I'll take your word for it." I smiled. "I'm gonna go and see Pete."

"I'll stay here and do the rounds. They appreciate us talking to them and letting them know what we're planning."

"Speaking of plans..." I told him about the Christmas plans, he looked thoughtful for a few moments before nodding.

"Yes. It's a good idea. Obviously a lot of them will understand that it won't be 'traditional' but they'll no doubt think it's worth doing."

I smiled, waving in farewell as I made my way back to the infirmary. Pete was more talkative since I last saw him, he smiled at me and shook my hand. I spoke for a while about the progress with the walls, then about the festivities. His face lit up at the idea and he nodded enthusiastically to Patrick who was sat by his bed.

"I like it!" he told me. "Make it happen Gee!"

I sighed, it was happening, if I had been uneasy about it before then all doubts had been cast away at that reaction. We were going to have a Christmas after all.

~*~

The log book was in a shambles but we made an educated guess that it was December 24th. My shoulder was giving me trouble on the cold morning but I shrugged it off - literally - and carried on overseeing the unit that was collecting firewood. Patrick's Christmas plans included a bonfire, I suppose it would replace the traditional Christmas tree and at least have a secondary use. Frank was rapidly turning into Lieutenant material, not that we were gonna bother with official titles, it was nice to see that he was beginning to get over his self-doubt and start behaving like the Frank I knew from before.

"I think we got enough now." he reported to me. Ray was acting as overseer whilst I made an effort to be as close to the soldiers as possible everyday. I was still technically the overall leader, however I felt much more comfortable as someone on the ground with them rather than sitting behind a desk all day.

"Good. Load the cart and we'll get back before the light fades." I ordered.

The forest had given us a few animals to hunt, our techniques from before came in handy, the rest of the group just watched in awe as Frank and I co-ordinated the capture of three rabbits and a  small deer. I had no idea if it would be enough to feed everyone, the population hadn't really decreased significantly. We slung them in the cart with the wood, making a note to get them to the kitchens as soon as possible, maybe we'd be able to have a small feast after all.

"Welcome back." Mikey greeted me in a hallway as I walked back from the kitchen, I nodded and swept my hair out of my eyes. "Hear you and Frank caught a deer."

"Yeah, the guys in the kitchen will determine how much of it is edible and whether we can feed everyone with it. If we can't then my instruction is to give what we can to the children and elderly."

He smiled. "And that's why you're the leader. A lot of people would be selfish about it and keep it all for themselves."

I shrugged, my shoulder complaining. "It makes sense to keep the next generation healthy and to respect our elders." I explained, gesturing for him to follow me back to the office. "I'm sure the rest of them will understand, we have enough food to last the rest of winter anyway."

As we entered the office I got the idea that Patrick had big plans for tomorrow, Bob looked slightly unimpressed but that was just his mood most days. Frank made the effort to act happy, I had no idea whether he liked this idea or not. Pete had only just been cleared to leave his bed and he was excited about something other than immanent danger happening.

"So that's it really. We light the fire once it's dark and just...be thankful." Patrick finalised. "Think of it like thanksgiving."

I nodded, I couldn't see anything wrong with the idea. I think everyone needed this, even if they didn't want to admit it or didn't even know it. Everyone needed to remember what our lives were like, what we left behind, what we had to teach the kids, what mistakes were made and how we had to not repeat them. With little else to discuss, I gave the word to go through with the Christmas 'celebration'.

 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally didn't start crying whilst editing this.  
> I've been awake for over 24 hours so I'm gonna blame these tears on that...yeah...totally.

**Chapter Forty**

**Frank**

It fell to Mikey and I to get the civilians outside, most of them knew we were planning something but I doubted that they knew what, the few who had been helping us set up obviously had an idea but the rest were in the dark. We led them out onto one of the runways, the darkness had set in quickly so Ray had ordered for the landing strip lights to be turned on, the electricity stored from the last few days of sunshine powering them. The pile of firewood sat on the tarmac, snow having been scrapped away so there was enough room for everyone to stand without freezing half to death, Alex and Jack had lit it and the first few flames had begun dancing in the light breeze.

"Greetings." Gerard declared once everyone had arrived. "For those of you who are unaware, tonight is Christmas eve. We decided to organise a little event just to get together as a community, as a family, to reflect on the chaotic few months we have survived together."

A hum of agreement replied. I stood next to the crate Gerard was stood on, I had a distinct feeling he was going to ask me to say something at some point.

"I will not dwell too much on the tragedy itself, for this is meant to be a happy time. Of course there may be little to be happy about given our situation." he was being brutally honest as usual. "However, I believe that we all need to pause for a second, forget worrying about the future and focus on our past. For we need to remember what it means to be alive. We need to remember our lives from before, so we can teach the next generation better than we were taught."

The fire was catching, crackling and popping as the wood was engulfed piece by piece. I caught the reflections of some of the civilians, a few were near tears, others were gripping their hands tightly together, some were hugging their children close. I felt a pang of sadness when I considered my own family, the one I had left behind back in New Jersey, my mother's gentle smile, the house of memories, the school that I had a love-hate relationship with, the streets and shops that I had roamed with the guys stood beside me.

"We have all lost someone." Gerard stated, his voice cracking, he was trying to keep the tears from falling. "Some of them went peacefully, some did not. How and when they died is not important, what is important is that they must not be forgotten. I am not stood here to say that they all died protecting each of us but some of them _did_. A lot of them would've walked out knowing that they could've died at any moment, they would've been scared but they did it because they loved someone here..."

I was beginning to tear up too as I remembered Helena, Mikey wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"The least we can do tonight is stand here as one family and acknowledge their sacrifice, remember their names, remember that they loved us and we loved them."

I couldn't hold it. I burst into tears and collapsed to my knees. Flashes of everyone I had ever loved who wasn't here now went through my mind; the faces, the voices, the memories of a life that had barely started when it was all torn away, the last words my mother said before she left...

_Remember Frank, no crazy parties whilst I'm gone. I love you but please don't destroy the house!_

"It's okay." Mikey whispered, his own voice cracking as he knelt next to me. Gerard had stopped talking, observing a minute's silence for reflection. "It's okay--" He let out a small whimper.

It was easy to hear the muffled sobs and ragged breathing from everyone, the moment of silence from Gerard seemed to go on for an eternity before another voice called out.

"They would be proud of you."

My head snapped up to where the voice came from, the crowd parted as the owner of the voice stepped forward. Jenna strode confidently towards us, she looked like she hadn't slept since Will's death and Bryce's turning had only made it worse, her blonde hair was disheveled and tied back loosely with string, her arms covered in bruises from god knows what and she looked very underfed.

"Will, Bryce, Lt Bright...they'd all be proud of you." She elaborated once she stopped in front of us, her once bronze skin had paled and it was obvious in the glow of the fire. "You've all had to make some tough choices, unpopular ones, life or death ones yet you stuck by each other through it all."

Mikey's hand on my shoulder tightened, I shakily got to my feet again and watched the others react to the words of our former leader, the rest of those gathered watched on in silence.

"Patrick, Bob, Ray." She spoke, nodding to each one of them in turn. "You stood by your friends through thick and thin, questioned their choices and helped them choose between what was easy and what was right even if you didn't agree with it yourselves." A murmur of agreement rose from the crowd. "Stepping up when all was lost on the battle field, putting yourselves in the line of fire to protect your friends and our greatest assets against the mutated forms."

She stepped in front of Mikey next. "Mikey, you were the beacon of hope for not just your brother and friends but for all of us, when the leadership of this place got forced into Gerard's hands you took it upon yourself to make sure the civilians were comfortable, you made sure they knew what was happening and what they could do to help. Something that I neglected when I was in control. Yet your faithfulness to Frank and loyalty to your brother shined in the darkest of times, reminding us that even when all seems hopeless there is always that one spark, that one glimmer of light."

He smiled and didn't know how to react other than to take my hand and squeeze it. Jenna then looked to the older Way.

"For someone who argued with me and Will for hours about my method of running the base, you left an impression on me. You wanted to stand for what was right, you wanted to protect what was precious to you and you were prepared to die for it. The day Will died, that horrible day when we lost so many, that was my breaking point but you were there and you powered through it - even risking your life to try and save both of us. Even now you're putting others before yourself, thinking about how to move forward but still holding on to the lessons we've learned." She paused, bringing her hand up to cup his face in a motherly gesture. "Your brother is right when he says you're a natural leader Gerard."

He murmured a thank-you and bowed his head as Jenna then proceeded to beckon both Pete and I closer.

"And of course you two. You're two of the most impulsive people I've ever met, literally throwing yourselves into the hostile situations all in the name of protection and love, practically walking off serious injuries without a complaint, even refusing immediate treatment and disobeying orders. Without your actions, no matter how much you got yelled at afterwards, I can wholeheartedly declare that we would not be stood here right now. Some of us may think your idiotic and possibly suicidal but none of us can thank you enough for the risks you've taken to save so many, there is no military honour fitting for how courageous and selfless you two have been."

We glanced at each other, unsure how to react but with bashful smiles. Gerard seemed content with letting her have the final word on this fire-side vigil as she turned back to the crowd.

"I speak for everyone here when I say that we do not take these sacrifices lightly, that we are forever in debt to the actions of the brave whether they survived or not. As Gerard said, we must remember them and remember what they were protecting all this time."

Another murmur of agreement rose, with no other words being uttered Gerard gave the order for everyone to assemble in the only intact hangar left for the small feast. There weren't much decorations to speak of but there was hot food and enough to go around. The room was filled with chatter from everyone, it was a pleasant enough atmosphere and it certainly felt a lot lighter than usual.

We had a lot of civilians come up to each of us and individually thanked us for our efforts, it was weird to be thanked for nearly dying several times. All through it all Mikey held my hand tightly, we hadn't forgotten about Helena, Andy or Joe, the three people closest to our group who hadn't made it. They lived through us anyway, through our actions and our will to continue surviving regardless of what was thrown at us.

**~*~**

After the feast Gerard called the inner circle onto the roof of the main hangar - the one that Bryce nearly destroyed - for some secret meeting. The night sky was clear, stars shining despite being dwarfed by the darkness, it was cold but we were used to it by now. We could see the wilderness stretching our for miles in each direction, the mountains shrouded in low clouds and the endless snow cover that was only disturbed by trees fighting for their survival.

"So. It's been nearly six months since this started." Gerard mused, staring up at the half moon that was brighter than it used to be.

"Indeed." Ray replied in a hushed tone.

"We've been through so much...yet we're still here...how did a group of high-school students from New Jersey and Chicago somehow survive the apocalypse?" He wasn't sad, more contemplative. "Why us?"

No-one said anything. Patrick put a hand on his shoulder. "Because despite the crap that we put ourselves through with the threats and the arguments, we gained each other's trust." he spoke softly. "Forgetting about what we had lost and focused on what we still had to lose by not fighting back."

Bob sighed quietly. "We didn't want to die that fast. Not like those who were first claimed, not our neighbours and friends..."

"Not like Helena." I finished.

"We want to die having made a difference to someone's life." Pete murmured. "And dying in a field surrounded by the undead isn't my idea of making a difference."

Gerard smiled, looking at us all with slightly teary eyes. " They keep calling us heroes...but we didn't _want_ to be heroes. We're just boys forced to grow up too quickly."

"Such is life." Mikey murmured. "But we grew up fast so we could hold on to the dream that one day we'll be able to live without fear, or at least for those younger than us to have the same kind of innocence that we once had."

Silence fell, it was a deathly one, not even a whisper could be heard for what felt like minutes. Ray brought Gerard into a hug which quickly turned into a group hug, all seven of us holding onto each others as we came to terms with what uncertain times lay ahead and how much we had seen and experienced between us. Soft murmurs and the odd sob could now be heard as we clung to the last shreds of our former lives.

We would live with this pain in our hearts for the rest of our lives however we weren't alone in this struggle, we had each other and the bittersweet memories of before to look back on, to remember when everything was right, to remember what made us laugh and love life. Those memories were now our most precious treasures.

For we were the survivors, we gave others hope with our presence and our efforts. Some saw us as role models, some saw us as victims, others saw us as ordinary people who had been through so much but still stood defiantly against the world. The world was unfair and we didn't know what had caused all this death and destruction in our lives but we stood together, determined to not let it get the best of us, to not let our friends sacrifices be forgotten however unwilling they were to die at the time.

We'd see them again someday but until then we'd have to continue being the reluctant heroes.

 

**~FIN~**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...  
> I'm honestly blown away by how many of you loved this fic, like when I uploaded the first chapter I didn't realise just how much I'd put these characters through and how much it would also mirror my emotions in real life.  
> That being said, I feel like this is the appropriate ending for this tale. They didn't go down in a blaze of glory (or rather guts and gore) and weren't completely victorious either. Rather, they learned to live with what life had dealt them, adapting to the twists and turns of an unpredictable situation and came to terms with what/who they held above everything else.
> 
> I actually wrote the last paragraph not really thinking about the zombie aspect of the story but more of what My Chemical Romance stood for in my eyes, a group of guys who went through a load of shit but still kept fighting and are still fighting their own battles. A band who taught me so much about saying 'fuck you' to life, staying true to myself and never letting the world bring me down.
> 
> Another factor of this ending was a song from an anime called Angel Beats, the whole song sums up most of my thoughts both about the story in this fic and my feelings towards MCR but the last verse really hits me:  
> (it's a loose translation btw)  
> "I'll go on alone with the pain, though I want to die I'll restrain  
> It's your voice that I can still hear like a light that will not disappear  
> Even if it's hard to move on, even if I cannot stop my tears  
> My heart is warm because of you and I'll hold that dear for all my years  
> [...] 'cause you're still my most precious treasure."
> 
> Once again, thank-you so much for your support guys, it's helped me through some tough times and still brings a smile to my face every day. I honestly don't know if I'll ever write another lengthy MCR fic because this just seems like such a fitting goodbye - as far as writing fanfiction goes - so if this is the last time you read any of my work then I hope you enjoyed it and maybe took something away from it all.  
> \- Bryn


End file.
